Ashton:
The Pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I admit I like to see them, I admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around
It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
" I don't know what's going on mate; he's been skipping rehearsals for the past I don't know 2-3 weeks or so. It's crazy he hasn't been answering his phone either." "Haven't he contacted Liz or anything?" The sound of Michael's voice appeared in the other end of Calum's phone making him scratch his jaw in thought. " I'm not sure, he probably has but I'm almost at his apartment now, gonna go check on if he's alright." Calum said as he turned at the corner on the street now seeing Ashton's flat in view. He went up the stairs not really caring if Ash was awake or not as he found Ash's spare key in the pot plant before locking the door open, walking in. The smell of sweat and lack of ventilation hit Cal's nose as he came in through the entrance, the sight not very pleasant. Dishes were scattered around everywhere in the kitchen, clothes thrown everywhere, empty pizza boxes and blankets. "Ash?" Calum yelled unsure taking his jacket off as he walked into the living room. "Ash?" He repeated once more walking closer to the couch seeing Ashton scattered on the couch, face down without a t shirt. "Hey.. Mate." Calum said unsure patting Ashton's back in an action to get him awake. Several annoying pokes woke me up from my slumber. "What the hell." I mumbled rolling onto my side letting my nose nuzzle into the couch cushion. "Ashton what the fuck has been going on?" Calum asked me but I was too determined to answer. Calum gave my legs a small push, urging me to remove them so he could take a seat next to me. Groaning lightly I obliged and he mate himself comfortable as he sat down. "You haven't been at rehearses for what feels like years." Cal started on making me turn my body 90 degrees so my back was facing the couch, now letting me get eye contact with Calum. "Who even counts anymore?" I asked not really wanting to know an answer, avoiding Calum's pleading eyes. "We do! We're in the freaking same band. You're our drummer. Why in the world would we stop caring about you?" Calum asked almost frustrated making a lump start to form in my lump. I shrugged my shoulders not knowing how to answer. "Mate something terrible has happened. Care to tell me why?" Calum's brown eyes stared in a pleading into mine and I looked confused around, doubting whether to split out anything out loud or just zip. So I did. When I didn't say anything Calum let out yet another frustrated groan, the both of us now sitting dead quiet in my living room. A sudden message from Twitter caught both Calum's and my eyes when my phone lit up with the message, Y/N and I clear in the background of the phone screen. "What the." Calum mumbled before both of us were reaching out for the phone, him getting it first. He stared at the screen for a few seconds before looking at me in pure awe and sadness and I avoided his almost judging eyes. "You still.." He asked quietly and I only nodded fiddling with the wristband on my right hand. "So this is why.." He mumbled eyeing my not so pretty flat and I nodded my head again, swallowing the lump. "Mate I'm so sorry." Calum said patting my shoulder again, but with more care this time. "It's ok I guess.. It takes time." I confessed letting out a depressed sigh. "Man, how about I go find some pizza and then we'll watch a comedy movie or such thing as that, how does that sound?" Calum suggested and I shrugged my shoulders before giving him a reassuring smile nodding my head. "Good." The joy on Calum's face made mine light up more than it had for days. Calum lifted himself from the couch before grabbing his jacket again. "Uhm Calum.." I said leaning his chin against the couch cushion. "Yea." He answered turning around looking at me. "Have you uhm.. I mean.. Have you talked to her?" I stammered between the words, letting out a goddammit at last because of my misery, not even daring to say her name, the feeling still giving me butterflies in my stomach but pain in my chest. Calum hesitated for a second, almost avoiding my eyes before he let out a small nod. "Or more likely Luke. He ran into her on the street. She's good. Very good. He said he hadn't seen her smile so much in weeks." Cal almost mumbled and I just nodded my head at his words sinking further and further down into the couch almost like I'm slipping away. "See ya in a few." Cal said before he went out of the door heading for the pizza. I looked once more at the phone on my coffee table before grabbing it and unlocking it. Another rack of pain appeared in my chest as I admired Y/N smile, tracing out her form with my thumb.
Luke:
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all
A cold breeze crossed my skin as I was lying on my side sending chills down my spine as I started to shake lightly. "Y/N. Come back to bed." I mumbled burying my nose into my pillow letting out an unsatisfied groan. A small giggle left her lips and a smile appeared on mine as she tiptoed to the bed again. "Why did you open the window?" I mumbled through the pillow, opening the covers for her to join. "It was getting hot. Can't cuddle when you're hotter than a sauna." She joked poking my chest making me let out a mouth closed giggle. "It's true Hemmings." She said as she nuzzled herself closer to my chest, letting me slip my arm around her, her head laying on the pillow next to me, my arm right under her neck. I let out a sigh of please and she let out a small giggle making it rumble through my chest. "Comfortable?" She asked and I nodded my head as an answer before giving her a light peck to the crown of her head. "Me too." She mumbled, her breathing getting deeper and deeper. "You know what I always fear?" She suddenly asked turning her head towards me. I shook my head as she was adjusting her head so it was lying on my upper arm. "I fear that one day I'll wake up and you're not beside me." She almost said in a whisper as she was tracing patterns on my chest and I knotted my eyebrows in thought. "I'll always be beside you. I promise." I reassured putting my index finger under her chin before lifting it up towards my face. "Promise?" She mumbled against my lips and I nodded my head before giving her a light peck. As a pulled back I turned around in a search for something in my drawer. "What are you doing?" She asked leaning her chin against my rip as I was rumbling through the stuff. Grabbing the stuff penguin I showed it to her. "What is this?" She asked taking it from my hand. "My promise penguin." I almost chuckled because of the lack of seriousness. "God I love you." She giggled before giving me yet another kiss. "I love you too." I smiled before I leaned down on my side again, letting her nuzzle into my body again before we both went into a slumber. | The sound of a car honking outside made me jolt awake, sweat streaming down the lower back of my body, pants leaving my lips. I looked to my right expecting Y/N there but instead of her, an unpacked suitcase was placed next to the bed, the window still open agape. "What the..." I mumbled looking around taking in my surroundments. Where was she? I removed the duvet from my sweaty body before jumping out of the bed walking around in the room. Everything seemed so empty. "Y/N?" I called and of course no answer was back. Letting out an unsatisfied sigh I yelled it out again but this time sounds from the hallway appeared. But the footsteps weren't female like and before I knew it, a very tired Ashton was standing in my doorway looking questionable at me. "Mate are you alright?" Ashton asked still having the same expression plastered on his tired face. That was when reality hit me. "Ah man..." I mumbled my voice deep as I scratched both my eyes with my hands. "I'm sorry man." Ashton said sympathetically to me with a small pout as I just nodded my head. "The dream.. It just felt fucking real you know. I'm sorry I woke you up." I apologized. "No worries just wake me up if you wanna talk." Ash said before giving me one last nod before shutting my door. I let out sigh letting the back of my head fall back closing my eyes. The more she was gone, the more memories were smacked into my head like a brick. And it hurt like hell. She's the reason I still open the window every single night. I walked over to my bed and sat down, letting my hands go through my hair and head, massaging it. The thoughts were running through my head and I was hesitating but then obliging to open the drawer. Maybe she did take it with her. I didn't even want to see it as I opened the drawer but as I did my eyes shut open and there it was. The little toy penguin I had won her once at an arcade because she was mad at me for winning any game. Doubting she even remember this. I drew patterns on it with my thumb as more and more memories appeared in my head and the memories I never can escape.
Calum:
And you're somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you
When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all
"Cal.. Calum." Ashton whisper yelled towards me making me look up from my phone for a few seconds, Ashton giving me a wide eyed look before staring at our management and back at me again. "What?" I mouthed uninterested even though I knew what he was hinting at, making him narrow his eyes at me, leaning further back into his seat. I looked between management and my phone, hesitating to put it away but of course when I got eye contact with Liz she send me a fireball through her eyes so I putted it back in my pocket. But it wasn't more than 8 minutes after this ever so boring meeting I slide the phone out from my skinny jeans yet again, holding it under the table making sure that nobody saw it. Unlocking it as usual I went straight into my messages double checking if anything was updated. She hadn't seen them. Determined, I started to type again, writing a rather smaller message before clicking send. All I wanted to know was how she felt. If she was either broken, angry or happy. Anything. But I got nothing. Locking my phone again, I started to trip with my foot, bouncing it up and down in a hurry, probably trying to make her see the message faster in my head. "Boys. 5SOS meeting in 2 seconds at the bathroom hallway." Ashton said already standing up from his chair making Michael and Luke stand up as well, me still sitting in my chair looking questionable at them. "Now." Ashton said deadly looking at me making me let out a small groan before pushing my chair back standing up and followed them into the hallway. "Cal what the fuck is going on?" Ashton fired on taking me aback totally the other boys' eyes widen in surprise. "What do you mean?" I asked even though I knew the answer to it. "You know exactly what I mean. You're stuck to your phone in a way that's not normal. Who are you texting all the time?" I looked down at my shoes by the mention of the text and I stammered out some mumbled words before letting out a sigh. "Y/N." I said quietly, my voice deep, making Ashton's eyes now widen in surprise. A cringe feeling appeared up against my spine by just the mention of her name making me let out yet another sigh. "Man.." Ashton mumbled feeling guilty giving me a sympathetic look. "I didn't thought you were still trying." Luke mumbled and I shrugged my shoulders. "It's been eating up my ass for the last couple of days. Just trying to forget about her is devastating. And the worst part is, she seem so calm it's like nothing in our relationship was real. She doesn't even answer my stupid damn texts." I said in frustration grabbing my hair in almost a pain. "Maybe it's just really time to forget about her and move on?" Michael tried and for once in the 4 weeks that I hadn't been in any contact with Y/N, it actually sounded like a great idea. | "Was that mine?" You asked turning around to your best friend Chase making him knot his eyebrows before looking over at your phone. "Nope." He mumbled, checking the new messages from Calum, a small smirk appearing on his lips by the thoughts of how pathetic this Kiwi boy was. "Okay." You said with a shrug before bowing down grabbing the bag full of unwashed clothes. "I'm going down to the basement. Be back in 10." You said before opening the door with your foot, walking out. Chase eyed you as you walked away, and as your footsteps fainted more and more, he grabbed your phone again, opening the messages from Calum. Marketing every single new text you had received he pressed the delete button, waiting for it to load before he threw your phone on your pillow. Opening the door to your basement, you whistled as you walked over to the washing machine, placing the bag on the counter next to it. Taking the different t shirts and other clothes out of the bag you stopped in track as a familiar shirt landed in your hand, yourself letting out a small tremble with your lip as you admired it. Calum's NASA t shirt. Somehow it had ended in your pile of clothes most probably because you had been sleeping in it. It wasn't far after that you had thrown the other clothes that you had in your hands, now giving your full attention to the shirt. Why didn't he call? Or text? Of course he had probably found some other chick at some random bar, hooking up with her rather than being with you. Everything happened so fast in the break up that basically the both of you never found out the fully reason why you weren't together anymore. "Y/N?" You turned around by the sound of Chase voice and he gave you a sad smile as he saw the tears that had started to well in your eyes, your hands fisting the t shirt. "Come on. I'll go get us some ice-cream." He said refereeing to the t shirt and you nodded your head before letting go of it, taking Chase's waiting hand. Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
Michael:
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
"Chocolate or caramel?" A jolt send through my body by the sound of Luke's voice making me open my eyes, squeezing them yet again as I was adjusting to the coffee shop light, looking tiredly at the blond-haired boy. He let out a small chuckle by my statement giving me a slap on the shoulder. "How much did you drink last night?" He asked giving me a ridiculous smirk. "Too much for me to handle." I laughed before running my hand through my not so soft hair. "What about that blonde you found?" He pushed on still with a smirk and I rolled my eyes. "She was.. Not interested." I lied with a shrug making Luke huff at me. "Please. Wasn't it more like that you weren't interested in her?" He laughed before ordering two cups of hot chocolate, concluding himself what I wanted. "I guess you can say that." I mumbled as Luke grabbed the cups before we both headed over to a booth, sitting in front of each other. Small chit chats were shared between me and Luke but it was soon interrupted as a specific laugh filled my ears from behind me. Determined not to turn around I looked wide eyed at Luke to see him staring intense behind me. "Is it who I think it is?" I asked him quietly but before he could answer another joy of laughed appeared but with a grunt afterwards, and there was no doubt now, I knew who it was. Squeezing my eyes, I hesitantly turned my head around to see a very fortunate Y/N, poking someone repeatedly in the upper arm, her eyes filling with joy every time he was looking tiredly at her. So typical her. She started her action again but this time the person had enough, he grabbed her by the waist before swinging her around letting me see his face for once and my jaw felt down to my thighs. "Who's he?" Luke questioned and I looked over at him with mouth still agape. "It's Micky. Her ex-boyfriend." I almost stammered my bottom lip quivering as memories started to float back into my head. | "Mikey, what happened to us?" She said quietly looking up at me revealing her eyes bloodshot with tears, and I swear to god I was this close to hit myself in the jaw. We were both sitting up against the walls in the hallway in front of each other, both exhausted from crying and fighting. "I don't.. I don't know." I mumbled in my hands as I massaged my head. Not only 15 minutes earlier we had probably our biggest fight ever. Plates had been thrown and I'm 100% sure the neighbors had heard us screaming. "I can't take this anymore." She mumbled toying with her finger, the usually bright makeup on her face smashed away by the tears. She suddenly lifted herself up from the floor making me stand up as well. "I'm.. I'm gonna leave." She hiccupped with a yawn, clearly tired from the crying. "What where?" I questioned nervously and she just shrugged her shoulders. "A friend's house." She mumbled already heading down the hall, me right behind her. "When are you coming back?" I asked making her stop in track. "I don't think I'll come back to be honest." She said with yet another small hiccup before she pulled her cardigan tightly around her small frame before opening the front door and headed outside in the dark. | The flashback from our breakup and the last time I saw her repeated in actions in my head, making me even more dizzy and sad including the hangover. "You gotta talk to her." Calum pressed on seeing my depressed expression. I looked between his pleading eyes and her before I stood up from my seat, my colorful hair revealing to her more catching her attention. Her mouth was wide agape as I headed towards her, almost as there was fear in her eyes and when I was close enough that I could actually smell her perfume she looked so fragile. "Hi mikey." She mumbled as I stood right in front of her, my mind floating in thoughts as she was giving me a small smile, the nickname she used sending butterflies through my stomach. Before I had a word said, Micky's voice filled my ears to my disgust. "Y/N?" He asked and she turned around to look at him. He lifted the coffees in his hands indicating that he was ready to leave. "Oh uhm.. I have to leave now. Bye Michael." She mumbled and the situation couldn't get less awkward, Micky giving me dirty looks. She gave me one last look before turning around heading outside and I let my head fall backwards in a groan until Luke stood beside me with our chocolates in his hands. "Come on mate. Let's go out and occupy you." I looked at Luke whilst nodding my head before looking back outside at the street seeing Y/N and Micky walk with his arm around her waist. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them. Like every single wish we ever made.