Hello, everyone!
I hope you're all having fun during the holidays.
It took me a while to finish this chapter, but I finally finished it. It ended up being pretty long.
Thank you all so much for the favorites, comments, and support. It means so much to me and gives me the inspiration to continue this fanfiction.
As I was working on this chapter, I drew some art to go along with it. I finished the art and cropped out part of it for the cover, but now I'll put up the full thing. I hope it turned out okay. I'm working to improve my art.
Also, I won't be updating again until after Christmas. I'll probably still work on this a bit in my free time, but I'm going to mainly focus on other things until after the holidays.
Have a nice day, and thank you all again!
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It had been a little over a week since Kokichi and I had came face to face with the mastermind of the killing game—the very person that had put Kokichi through a traumatic experience, and attempted to throw me into the same hell. When I learned that the person behind the game was sharing a living space with my sister, I was absolutely horrified. Even though the killing game appeared to be over for good, I questioned Tsumugi's intentions. Why on earth did she choose to room with S/N? Did she have malicious plans for the future, or was she just trying to live out the rest of her life as a normal person?
Kokichi promised me that S/N would be fine, but even so, I was worrying about her nonstop. I found myself calling her every single day, asking how her day went; it got to the point where she stopped answering all my messages. Whenever I mentioned heading to her place to check on her, Kokichi was adamant that I not go alone. In fact, he even suggested that I not walk to or from work on my own, or anywhere unless accompanied by him or someone I knew I could trust. As frustrating as that was, I knew it was unsafe for me to be alone. I had been kidnapped before. The two of us appeared free, and yet we felt like we were being targeted—but were we really? The overwhelming fear hanging over us had made the two of us grow rather wary—especially Kokichi. Despite that fear, I was growing increasingly sick of having to be on guard at all times—I just wanted it to end. Was being so on edge really necessary?
When it was nearly time for my shift to be over, the creaking of the store door pulled me from my thoughts, causing me to stumble a bit as I approached the front counter. Finally, I handed the waiting customer their bag of sweets, apologizing with a bashful expression. I noticed a small snicker come from behind the customer. When the customer stepped away, I took notice of the newly arrived Kokichi as he took a seat at one of the tables near the window.
Once my shift had ended, I made my way over to my roommate. He silently peered out the window, focusing on the falling snow. When I sat down across from him, his gaze shifted towards me. A small, seemingly forced smile appeared on his lips as he pushed one of the paper cups towards me. At this, I tried to force a smile, but to no avail. I gently lifted the cup to my lips, enjoying the minty, chocolate flavor—peppermint hot chocolate.
"Thank you," I spoke softly, meeting his gaze as I gently placed the cup down. "I really appreciate it."
"Hm," Kokichi mused, tapping his finger against the lid of his cup. "Not even a smile today?" He lazily propped his elbow on the table, eyeing me curiously. "That's weird."
"We're always extra busy around Christmas time," I stated bluntly, still failing to feign enthusiasm. "With that and everything else, I'm a bit overwhelmed I guess."
"Yeah, yesterday sucked for me," he stated, a tad of annoyance in his tone. "But walking to and from the bakery in the snow is what really pisses me off."
"If it bothers you that much then you shouldn't go out in the cold any more than you have to." I averted my eyes, now focusing on the cup before me. "I'm fine," I muttered.
"I know you're scared, stop trying to hide it," he stated in a matter of fact tone. "Now that we've came face to face with her, you know we can't just do as we please anymore."
The way he spoke like he knew how I felt got under my skin. It bothered me because he couldn't be more right about me. Kokichi could see through my lies rather easily; to him, I was vulnerable. Most saw me as a strong, confident and level-headed manager of a bakery, but deep down I was the opposite—weak, insecure, and rash.
"I never said I wasn't scared," I admitted, exasperation evident in my voice. "I'm just tired of constantly being on edge and wondering if S/N is okay." Hesitantly, I looked up, focusing on his face, but avoiding his gaze. "Even when she texts me that she's fine, somehow I have a hard time believing it..."
"Sorry, but we have to endure it right now," he stated bluntly. "You're too rash and if you're not careful things will go to hell."
"...We?" I asked quietly, anger apparent in my voice. "Your sister isn't in danger!" I suddenly spat. "What kind of sister would I be if I just sat by and let something happen to her, huh?"
"I-I..." he trailed off, a look of hesitation and distress instantly appearing on his face. "Just...forget it," he muttered, turning his face towards the window, letting his bangs obscure his vision. I couldn't tell if he was sad or angry—perhaps both?
"...Huh?" I asked softly, my anger vanishing instantly. I tilted my head to the side, taking notice of the dark, stressed look upon his face.
"Can we just...go already?" He finally asked. His voice was rather low, a hint of sorrow within his bland tone. "It's too cold to argue, you know?"
"That doesn't even make sense," I said, a small, nervous laugh escaping my lips. "Y-yeah, let's head back..."
During the walk back, Kokichi didn't mutter a word. He silently walked beside me, his eyes distant and cold. Merely minutes ago, I had been annoyed at him and yelling, but now I just felt like I wanted to comfort him; I really disliked that cold, sad look upon his face. I redirected my attention towards the gentle, falling snow. I hated the cold, but I couldn't bring myself to dislike snow. Now, whenever I saw it, it reminded me of Kokichi—cold, yet also soft. That night, when I chased him into the alley, was the first night that snow fell—the first snowfall of the year.
When the two of us entered the apartment, Kokichi immediately plopped down on the couch, draping a large, warm blanket over his form. He immediately removed his hair tie, allowing his long, disheveled locks to fly freely. A small, hopeful smile tugged at my lips as an idea popped into my head. I hastily ran into my bedroom, digging through my closet, pulling out a small, brown shopping bag from it. I made my way back into the living room, a small, nervous smile gracing my lips as I stood behind the couch. Hesitantly, I removed the long, purple scarf from the bag, draping the clothing around Kokichi's neck. At this, he immediately turned his head, a look of surprise upon his face.
"I sort of bought this a couple days ago," I said, a nervous laugh escaping my lips as I made my way towards the front of the couch. "I bought it when I slipped away from work....with S/N." I paused, swallowing roughly. "...and Tsumugi."
When that name escaped my lips, his expression changed rather quickly; a look of pure, unadulterated disapproval enveloped his face. At this, I flinched slightly, wishing I could take back the words that had left my mouth. Alas, it was too late—and he wasn't pleased with my recklessness.
"You know it's not safe to be around Tsumugi," Kokichi stated bluntly, narrowing his eyes as he took a stand. "Do you have a death wish or something?"
"I just said S/N was there too," I replied, my expression morphing into an annoyed, yet slightly concerned expression.
"Oh, yeah, your little sister will totally be able to protect you from that maniac," he replied, a scowl upon his face. "Have you still not realized that you are the most likely target? Not me—not S/N—you."
"You're being ridiculous," I stated, biting my lip as anger began to rise within me. "Ever since I regained those memories, I've been terrified—even more so when I realized that the person behind it all was so close by." I balled my hands up into fists, my eyes narrowing as I locked eyes with Kokichi. "Those memories felt fresh to me, which is where the fear came from, but they aren't fresh at all—that happened several years ago." I tightened my fists, my voice growing lower, and more stern. "Maybe being so on edge is a waste of time and energy—maybe a pathetic way to live?" The questions that left my lips were more for myself than Kokichi, but regardless, his disapproving gaze didn't falter. "Why would they target me after all these years. Why would they target an adult?"
"That's illogical, ___," he replied. "You managed to get out of the game, but do you really think they are just going to let you go that easily?" Kokichi shook his head. "No. You may have been kidnapped, but you didn't experience what I did."
"So, what I went through didn't matter?" I asked, a hint of pain rising within my voice.
"I-did-not-say-that," he emphasized slowly, rolling his eyes. "I promised you I would get to the bottom of what happened. Obviously, I wouldn't have done that if I thought it didn't matter."
"Then why haven't you made a move yet, Kokichi?" I asked. "Tsumugi has been just waiting—she's not far." The words that left my lips sounded cruel—worse than I intended. "Who's to say you didn't lie when you promised me that?"
When that question left my lips, a wave of regret overtook me. My hands began to tremble slightly, and I took notice of the mortified look that flashed upon his face for a few seconds. I bit my lip, once again wishing I could take back what I had said.
"I'm not going to lie; I'm not going to sugar coat anything. You better listen carefully, because you need to hear this—to learn this," he said, his words harsh and straight forward. "When you make rash, stupid decisions you end up losing people," he balled up his fists, squeezing them tightly. "If you keep acting like this, you're going to get someone killed." Kokichi took a step forward, his gaze serious, and quite harsh as he stared within my eyes. "If something happens to S/N because of you, that'll be your burden to bare—not mine. If you really think you won't be targeted because of such an irrational reason, then you're extremely ignorant."
"Just go to hell," I muttered, my voice cracking a bit as I began to lose my composure. "I'm done," I muttered a final reply as I reached for the doorknob. I could hear complaints coming from Kokichi, but I ignored them and closed the door behind me once I stepped out.
Once I was outside the door, a mishmash of emotions began swirling within me; it was all rather overwhelming. Without warning, waterfalls began crashing down my cheeks. Merely seconds after taking notice of my damp cheeks, I began running. I wasn't sure why running was my first instinct, but that's what I did. Perhaps I ran because I didn't want Kokichi to confront me in such a vulnerable state?
As I ran down the street, the sun was just beginning to set. The area was mostly empty, it seemed like most everyone had already made their way home; I was thankful for that—thankful that I hadn't drawn attention to myself. A grown woman racing down the sidewalk with tear stained cheeks—how unbelievably pathetic.
Soon enough, I found myself wandering inside a familiar coffee shop. It wasn't large or eccentric, but that was what I liked about it. A warm, inviting aura always came from it, which never failed to draw me inside. A small smile almost made its way to my lips when I sat down—almost. Despite what had happened earlier, I opted to get the peppermint hot chocolate—it was only available for a limited time after all. As I stared down into the drink, a chill ran down my spine and I suddenly felt...anxious?
"Oh, ___, what brings you here tonight?" A familiar voice asked.
When I heard those words, my head popped up immediately. To my surprise, there stood the very last person I wanted to see; I wanted to see her even less than Kokichi. I wanted to hide my face, but it was too late—she had already saw. In an attempt to fool her, I threw on the fakest, most forced smile I could muster.
"I-I just stopped by for some hot chocolate," I stuttered. "I-I was watching some super sad and emotional anime earlier and..." I trailed off, nervously rubbing the back of my head.
I was no stranger to putting on a brave face and feigning happiness, but I wasn't as good at it as Kokichi. How he could put on such a believable mask of carefree joy around a woman as vile as Tsumugi was beyond me. The fact that I was already overwhelmed made my act all the more laughable and unbelievable.
"I know anime tears when I see them, and those just aren't it," Tsumugi said in a kind, yet knowing tone. "Poor ___. Why isn't Chikara with you? Did something happen?"
"W-what?" The fake smile upon my lips began to falter. "No reason. Everything is fine."
"It's just a bit fishy if you ask me," she replied, placing her finger to her chin. "Every single time you go somewhere, he's always stuck by your side, isn't he?" She gazed up for a moment, then returned her gaze to me.
"No," I said, placing my now shaking hands upon my lap. "We aren't very close. I mean, h-haven't you noticed how he is always stuck to your side when we all get together?"
"Only when we're all together," Tsumugi stated, holding her finger up. "Any other time he's with you." Her lips curled up into a small, mischievous grin. "It's almost like you two have some sort of connection—it's almost like a mental connection or something."
After those words left her lips I realized that she wasn't oblivious—I had no doubt she knew who Kokichi and I were. I swallowed roughly, gripping the fabric upon my legs in a desperate attempt to calm the fear rising within me. I knew that I would have to stay composed; it was of the utmost importance. It didn't matter that I was upset; I had to keep it together for S/N's sake—and for Kokichi's sake.
"___, I am well aware of what's going on. I know you and Kokichi very well; how could I not recognize you guys?" She spoke calmly, seemingly unaware of the weight of the situation.
"Whatever you're planning," I began, letting out a short, breathy sigh before continuing, "just leave S/N and Kokichi out of it."
"I have no intention of causing any harm to S/N," Tsumugi smiled innocently. "Well, so long as you don't provoke me."
I was baffled by the innocent, carefree look upon her face. She was treating this conversation like a simple, fun talk with a friend—which it definitely wasn't. I raised an eyebrow, a look of confusion and concern making its way to my face. I tilted my head to the side, eyeing Tsumugi as she continued to smile.
"...What about Kokichi?" I finally asked, hesitation within my voice.
"You and Kokichi had a fight, didn't you?" She cooed, clasping her hands together. "He put that sad, pitiful look on your face, but you're still worried about him? You're really too sweet for your own good, ___."
"That doesn't mean I want him to get hurt." I spoke softly, a hint of sadness and desperation in my voice. "So, Tsumugi, whatever it is you want, I'll give it to you so long as you spare them."
"I want to know why you wandered into a coffee shop with that hopeless look upon your face," she replied, snickering. "Not that I dislike that look or anything—it suits you, really."
"...He basically said my rash decisions could get people hurt," I spoke bluntly.
I attempted to be as vague as possible, for I didn't want her to gain too much information. Even if she did know our identities, that didn't mean she knew that we were planning something. Of course, Kokichi just told me to remain calm and collected—to play things safe. Honestly, I was unsure if he had a plan at all. Regardless, giving Tsumugi any more detail than necessary could be detrimental to Kokichi and I.
"Well, that sounds more like useful advice to me," she mused, shrugging her shoulders. "He seems to be speaking from experience."
"...You know things about Kokichi, don't you...?" I muttered, balling up my fists as curiosity began to rise within me. "...Things he would never tell me..."
"That's right!" Tsumugi declared, a look of excitement appearing on her face. "Poor Kokichi, he was so grief stricken when he auditioned." She laughed lightly, a strange, bright look appearing within her eyes. "Of course, he was pretty good at hiding that sort of thing though."
"Will you...tell me about him?" I asked hesitantly, curiosity enveloping my face.
"Only if you promise to keep this little exchange between us," she muttered, drawing circles upon the table as she eyed me. "Kokichi doesn't need to know yet."
In that moment, I had the urge to attack her—to just end it right there. Regardless of my disdain for the woman, I knew that she held useful information; information I was unlikely to hear from Kokichi himself. Of course, I was aware that she could lie to me—but I was no stranger to lies. Perhaps she would spill something useful by mistake? Even though I hated the idea of hiding my meeting with Tsumugi from Kokichi, I was desperate to find out the truth; perhaps I was being selfish again?
"...Alright," I muttered, a look of regret washing over my face. "...I promise."
"So, Kokichi actually auditioned because of his sister." Tsumugi smiled brightly, resting her clasped hands against her cheek. "Despite the disapproval from his guardians, he entered the game anyway—for her."
In several of Kokichi's memories there was a young girl. Was it possible that his sister was that same girl? Though I didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle, it was plain to see that he cared about that girl a lot. In those memories, he often joked around with her and attempted to brighten her mood, even when his appeared rather dark. The most notable thing I noticed in his memories of her was her health—she appeared to have some sort of illness.
"...Did she happen to be...sick?"
"Mmhm, that's right!" Tsumugi declared, her voice growing more energetic as she continued on. "And all the money he received as payment for participating in the game went towards her treatment."
"..." I remained silent, my mouth opening slightly at her words.
If the money went towards her treatment, then that meant he probably had little to no money left once the game was over. Perhaps that was the true reason why he resorted to thievery? When the game ended, he was thrown into a world of people that had disdain for him—all because of a game. Getting by in a world that is against you had to be tough—no wonder he harbored such despair.
"Technically, they weren't brother and sister; they weren't related by blood. She was more like his best friend," Tsumugi said, letting out a happy sigh. "Ah, it was so sweet how two sorrowful children ended up friends, don't you think?"
"Where is she now?" I asked, dreading the answer I expected.
"She didn't make it. She was already a lost cause, but Kokichi refused to give up on her because he was stubborn." Tsumugi shrugged her shoulders. "He made the quick, rash decision to enter the killing game in an attempt to save her."
"...Oh," I mumbled. I averted my gaze, now staring down at the table.
"You know what the saddest, most depressing part is?" Tsumugi asked, her voice slow and mischievous.
"...What?"
"All she wanted was to spend what time she had left with her guardians and Kokichi," she stated, tapping her finger against the table. "And yet, before she died, the last thing she saw was what he did on screen. I wonder how she interpreted his game character? Did she see him as a villain, or a hero in disguise?"
"What about Kokichi's guardians?" My gaze remained on the table, my mind running a mile a minute.
"Somehow, fans managed to dig up some information on them, and his guardians ended up disappearing soon after his sister finally passed. They received a lot of hate and death threats," Tsumugi stated. "Danganronpa fans can be quite cruel, huh?" She giggled softly, an adoring tone in her voice. "But, they're just so dedicated! I'm still not sure how they dug up all that information. It was quite the impressive feat!"
"W-why do you enjoy seeing people suffer like that?" I muttered, tightening my fists and digging my nails into my own flesh. "...It's sick... it's awful..."
"Say, you're not kink shaming me are you, ___?" Tsumugi asked, causing me to look back up at her. She tilted her head to the side, giving me a blank stare.
"No," I replied, shaking my head. "...I have one final question for you."
"What might that be?" Her expression morphed into one of curiosity.
"Is the killing game over for good?" Yet again, I tightened my fists, feeling the pain from my nails—I was terrified of her answer.
"Believe it or not, I got burned out on that game," Tsumugi stated bluntly, shrugging her shoulders. "So, no, I don't have some crazy plan to bring it back. I'm just trying to relax and enjoy myself." A small, sly smile appeared on her lips. "I've been watching something different play out, so that's been keeping me occupied. Though, I'll always have great memories of those games."
"Wait, one more thing," I quickly blurted out, desperation upon my face. "W-why do I have memories that don't belong to me?"
"Sorry, but it looks like you already used your last question," she said."It's starting to get dark, so I really need to get going. S/N and I are having a movie night!"
"But—"
"It was nice talking to you, ___," Tsumugi said, cutting off my words. "I'll remember our little promise, alright?"
Without giving me time to respond, Tsumugi dashed away, a carefree, joyous look upon her face. It baffled me how proud she was of the awful things she had done. How could someone else's suffering elicit such a positive, joyous reaction out of her? Whenever I noticed someone suffering, I didn't experience joy—I experienced despair.
I placed the now lukewarm cup to my lips, savoring the sweetness of the drink—or perhaps bittersweet was more fitting? Earlier that day, I had had the same drink. It was delicious, but Kokichi had given it to me—the person that I currently had mixed feelings about. I had grown to care about him a lot, and I could understand him much better than I could at first, but he still managed to leave me confused rather often. Sometimes his actions and words seemed uncalled for, or strange, but from what I could tell, he never had bad intentions. Despite spending so much time with him, the only real information I learned about him came from myself and Tsumugi—not straight from his lips.
I tightened my fists, turning towards the window. Firstly, I noticed the light, soft snow falling slowly from the sky. As I looked closer, I noticed my own reflection—the look of uncertainty, frustration, and regret upon my face. After speaking with Tsumugi, I realized that Kokichi's intentions weren't bad. Sure, he had stepped out of line, but so had I—no one was without fault. Despite knowing this, I still placed most of the blame upon myself. If I had just admitted that I had made a mistake—if I had just went along with the plan and played things safe—maybe I wouldn't have stumbled across that maniac in a lonely coffee shop. His words weren't discreet or pleasant, but he didn't mean for them to be harmful. He wanted to stop me from making a horrible mistake—the mistake of making a rash decision that would ultimately end up hurting someone rather than helping them.
After thinking things over for a few more minutes, I decided to leave the coffee shop. I stepped out into the snow, feeling the cold, brisk air against my still red, tear stained cheeks. As pathetic as I probably looked, I felt better having let it all out. At this point, I had readied myself to return back and face Kokichi—to admit to my selfishness. The thought of anyone seeing such weakness from me made my stomach churn, but perhaps he would feel more comfortable opening up to me if I opened up to him—equivalent exchange, right? I had selfishly expected him to just spill his past to me, and yet I refused to spill my own feelings; I hadn't even told him about the memories.
Even though I had decided to be more open with him, I knew that I couldn't tell him about my meeting with Tsumugi. Even though she had cleared some things up about Kokichi, the hints and clues were already there within the memories I had been gifted—Tsumugi just made things easier to understand. Even if he knew about our meeting, would it really make a difference?
As I made my way down the sidewalk, I heard a raspy, distant voice. I turned towards the direction of the noise, my eyes widening at the sight before me—Kokichi. Kokichi was approaching me, his arm outstretched towards me, seemingly begging for me to stop. A sad, yet vacant look was plastered upon his face. His hair remained down, and his glasses were nowhere to be seen; his identity bare for the world to see. The scarf I had given him remained wrapped around his neck, flowing freely in the wind.
"Finally," he breathed out, seemingly out of breath, as he stepped in front of me. "So," he began, slight hesitation within his eyes and voice, "Have fun at the coffee shop?"
"How did you know I was at the coffee shop?" I raised an eyebrow, slightly tilting my head to the side.
"Just a lucky guess," he replied, a small, forced smile appearing on his lips. "Or was it?" He laughed nervously, shifting his gaze upwards for a few seconds, then peering into my eyes. In that moment, his eyes appeared rather dull.
"..." I remained silent, my expression morphing into a blank stare as I silently eyed the male before me. Yet again, he attempted to use playfulness as a tactic to brighten the mood—but, he wasn't happy, was he?
"I'm just kidding, you know?" A low, sorrowful sigh escaped his lips, then his smile melted away. "You told me that that place comforted you, so I thought you might be there."
"You left your hair down," I stated bluntly. "And you didn't even put on the glasses."
"I guess it slipped my mind," he said, lightly gripping the fabric of the scarf and hiding his nose and mouth behind it. "But, I had more important things to worry about," he murmured, his voice slightly muffled by the fabric. His gaze seemed distant despite that fact that his eyes remained glued to mine.
"Hey," I muttered softly, trying to force a smile, but ultimately failing. "I'm sorry for not being more careful—for only thinking of myself." I shifted my gaze, nervously rubbing the side of my arm as I eyed the sidewalk.
"Only thinking of yourself?" He asked, his volume rising slightly; a tad of confusion evident in his voice.
"I was scared and anxious," I replied, still focusing on the cold, dark sidewalk. "I was so desperate to get rid of those feelings that I tried to convince myself that waiting around wasn't the answer—that I should go ahead and end everything quickly." A regretful, slightly sarcastic laugh escaped my lips. "I probably would have ended up hurting someone if I still believed that..."
"You shouldn't be ashamed of feeling that way. I want everything to end too," he replied, gently placing his hand upon my shoulder. His touch caused my eyes to shoot up, immediately becoming trapped within his again. "But, when I was younger I rushed into something quickly and made a mistake. I didn't want you to make a similar mistake, so I tried to stop you." He removed the fabric from his face, shooting me a sad, yet kind smile. It may not have been happy, but it was undoubtedly genuine. "But, I ended up making a different mistake."
"What?" I mumbled almost inaudibly. If he weren't right in front of me, he wouldn't have heard my voice.
"I was desperate to make you understand what I was saying," he said, his smile fading quickly and his voice becoming more serious. "So, my words ended up coming across pretty rude." He removed his hand from my shoulder, that distant, sad look still within his orbs. "I'm sorry about that. I know I can be a dick sometimes."
"No. I get it, Kokichi," I said abruptly, shaking my head. "After sitting down and thinking about it, I realized that you had good intentions." I narrowed my eyes, lightly biting my lip. "And I also realized that I haven't been the best to you. I've been a bit selfish."
"How the hell have you been selfish?" He quickly asked, disbelief, and a tad of anger, lacing his voice. "You're always putting others first. You helped me," he paused for a few seconds, trembling slightly, "even after I stole from you," he finished softly.
"Well, I haven't been entirely honest with you," I said quietly, hesitation within my voice. "I know that you've already noticed that fake, insincere smile I throw on all the time, haven't you?" I balled up my hands into fists, trying to remain calm. "But, that's not what I'm talking about. I've been hiding something from you since we met."
"...What?" He asked, hesitation within his voice.
"I've been seeing several of your memories," I said softly, dread within my voice. "Like the ones with your sister." I nervously began fiddling with my sleeve, struggling to continue. "Sometimes I see them at night—memories of you before the game."
"I..." Kokichi trailed off, his eyes widening. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I was afraid of what would happen if I did," I said, tightening my fists as they began to tremble. "I didn't know if you retained those memories; I still don't." I bit my lip, averting my gaze. "But, I selfishly wanted to keep seeing them. I wanted to keep learning more about your past—about you."
"You know, after the game several pieces of my memories were missing; they weren't returned to me like they should have been," he said. "Recently I've been remembering more and more—like memories of my sister. Maybe we've been seeing the same things."
"In your memories, I saw a side of you that was different, yet familiar," I said. "They made me feel...closer to you, you know?" I laughed lightly, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Whenever I would ask you what was wrong, you would always tell me that it was nothing, but I knew that wasn't true. Sometimes you would ask me what was wrong, or point out that I was acting differently." Though I was nearly smiling, that happiness was short lived; seconds later, my expression morphed into one of regret. "Just like you, I would claim that nothing was wrong. I never opened myself up to you, and yet I selfishly hoped you would tell me about your past." I shook my head, feeling a bit shameful. "I was so selfish—it was disgusting."
"I had a theory that you knew something more," he said. "I found it hard to believe that you had been blindly trusting me. I thought you may have dug up some information on me, or been investigating me behind my back." When those sorrowful words left his lips, I lifted my head and gazed at his face. "Though that seemed plausible, I didn't want to believe it," he said, shifting his gaze and making eye contact with me. "I wanted to trust you." A small, innocent smile tugged at his lips. "I'm glad that that wasn't the case. I wish you had told me from the start, but I get why you didn't. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have done the same thing, actually."
"I'm s—"
"Stop butting in," he cut off my words, placing his finger to my lips. "I forgave you already, and you already forgave me, right? Don't sweat it." His smile widened slightly—it must have been contagious because a smile formed upon my own lips as well.
"Right," I laughed, nervously taking a step back. "Gotcha..."
"If you want to know something, just ask me. I'll tell you," he said. "But, that also means when I ask you something you better not lie to me. I'm a lie detector, you know." He held his finger to his own lips.
"Oh, I know," I said, my tone remaining kind, but growing a bit more serious. Kokichi seemed to have taken notice of this, tilting his head to the side in confusion. "Hey, I may not have known your sister, but I'm positive that she would be proud of you," I suddenly said, my smile never faltering.
"..." Kokichi remained silent, a look of shock upon his face. He placed his hand to his chest, pressing lightly as he eyed me intently; his mouth opening slightly.
"You've been through so much," I said, my gaze softening. "Despite that, you're working hard to move on; you've come really far. You have a job, a home," I paused for a few seconds before continuing, "and a friend."
"What friend?" Kokichi asked, a look of insincere confusion and innocence upon his face. "I don't have any friends."
"The same friend that gave you a present you never thanked them for," I stated, slight annoyance in my voice.
"I'm kidding, obviously," he replied, pointing towards me. "Of course you're my friend," he said, a kind smile upon his face. "Seriously, thank you, ___. For the scarf and for saying that..." He adjusted the fabric around his neck. "It suits me, right?"
"It sure does," I said, light dots of pink dusting my cheeks as I surveyed the look. "I wouldn't have picked it for you if I thought it wouldn't." A bright, cheerful smile made its way to my lips.
"You know what suits you?" He asked, a sly smirk appearing on his lips.
"What?" I asked, expecting his answer to be a joke.
"A smile that isn't fake," he said, his tone a bit more serious. This time, his eyes weren't dull—they were bright and lively.
As I gazed at the new, bright look within Kokichi's eyes, I suddenly didn't feel so cold anymore; I could get used to that look. The falling snow didn't stand a chance against the rising warmth within my cheeks. I gently placed my hands to my face, my eyes widening at the warmth. I had now found a way to prevent my hands from getting cold—a pretty sufficient way.
My face had heated up, but it wasn't the only thing that had gained warmth. Shakily, I placed my hand to my chest, taking notice of my increasing heart rate. I stared ahead, also taking notice of the playful look upon Kokichi's face. Nervously, I gripped the fabric of my shirt.
"Oh, what's wrong, ___?" He teased, taking a step forward and invading my personal space. "Cat got your tongue?"
Suddenly, I leaned in a bit, a smile upon my lips. A look of surprise flashed upon his face, which only gave me the courage to proceed forward. Quickly, I went for the kiss—on the cheek of course. Once I had placed a quick peck upon his face, I stepped away and shot him an innocent, nervous smile—though it was a tad mischievous as well.
"It's too cold out here," I muttered. "We should get going before we freeze to death."
For a moment, Kokichi just blankly stared at me. His gaze remained on my face, but he appeared to be lost in thought. Had I really surprised him that much? Suddenly, he broke out of his trance, holding out his hand to me. I glanced at his hand, then shifted my gaze towards his face. As he peered at me, a slight look of hesitation was evident within his eyes. Seconds later, his lips curled into a small smile, his face gaining some color. I reached forward, grabbing onto his hand. At first touch it was cold, but it slowly grew warmer. My smile widened, and in turn he tightened his grip. Was it wrong of me to want more of this from him?
"Just wait, ___," he said. "I won't let you outdo me with your gift." After those words left his lips, I simply laughed, for I was too cold to argue with him. Well, technically, I wasn't as cold as before.
Hand in hand, the two of us began heading back towards the apartment. As much as I despised the killing game, it was the thing that had brought the two of us together. Though it had brought us together, it had nearly torn us apart as well. We went from hope, to despair, to hope again. Though Tsumugi claimed that she was done with the game for good, I didn't trust her one bit. She wanted the both of us to suffer—to be pulled apart. Tsumugi was responsible for throwing us into the hope and despair loop. I was determined to remain on the side of hope from then on out—to not let that maniac get the better of us.
As Kokichi and I approached the apartment building, a chill ran down my spine. Perhaps it was just the cold? Despite that, I continued forward with Kokichi; hand in hand.
"...K-Kokichi?"
Suddenly, a surprised, oddly familiar voice sounded behind the both of us. I could have sworn I had heard that voice before—but who did it belong to? Within seconds, I felt Kokichi's grip on my hand tighten, and I could feel movement within my hand—Kokichi was trembling. Just who, or what would elicit such a response from him?