Wolfgang Mortimer:
I was sitting on the plastic chair in the waiting room, my elbows on my knees, head in my hands waiting patiently, my leg bouncing up and down with nerves.
Did I make the right choice?
I love both of them so, so much.
I wish I could have swapped places with them, be the one that dies and save both of them.
"Mr Mortimer?" I raced to the nurse coming from behind the blue doors.
"You can go see her now. We have made arrangements for you." she gently coaxed me to follow her past the blue doors.
I was running my hands nervously up and down my jeans. My father came back to the hospital to bring me a change of clothes after my mother's request to do so. Apparently, I can't stay in an outfit covered in my wife's blood, that's not ethically correct.
Damn my sarcasm is running high. Thanks, mum for that talent.
"We swaddled her and dressed her already. Just enter she is lying in the baby cot." she opened the door for me and I entered the room.
The coldness engulfing me as I stepped into the room.
"I'll leave you to have a moment. When you are done just come back out and I'll lead you to the other room."
The soft click of the door could be heard from behind me. All I could see was that baby swaddled in one of those hospital baby blankets.
My nerves were running sky high. I slowly made my way to the cot and looked down at this small human. I bent down and cradled this child in my arms. She was so small, way too small.
She wasn't breathing. She was cold. No noise coming from her.
I held her close to my chest and cried. Cried the loss of my child, the loss of my first daughter, my little princess, my little love, my sunshine.
"Daddy loves you, princess. Daddy will always love you." I choked out.
I slowly rocked my daughter back and forth, letting the tears roll down my cheeks as I held her.
"My little Willow Clair. Hey, my baby Willow. My girl." I cooed staring down at her.
There was no pink tint to her cheeks, but she was the most beautiful baby ever.
"I love you Willow. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I love you so so much. Daddy loves you so much."
"I wish your mummy could see you and your brothers too. They would have loved to see you. Your big brothers love you so much, they are called Wilder and Woodrow. They waited so much for you to come, yes they did."
I continued talking to her with a bounce in my step. Talking to her was very therapeutic, I just wish things were different. I wish I didn't have to lose my daughter in the process.
"I would have never let you date any guys, No I would not. And I would make sure that all your uncles and your grandpa and your brothers made sure of it too. You would have grown to look exactly like you mummy with her red fire like hair but you would have my green eyes. An absolute beauty which would have made my job from keeping you locked away from guys very hard, very hard my sunshine."
I kissed her forehead one last time before placing her back into the baby cot.
"I love you my sunshine, my little Willow."
This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The next thing is telling Freyah that our daughter didn't make it.
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I knocked on the door softly where Freyah was sent to recover from the operation. The doctor said that she lost a lot of blood and nearly slipped into a coma. Luckily she didn't that would have just killed me.
I took in a deep breath and opened the door revealing my redheaded beauty sleeping in the hospital bed, tubes and machines connected to her. I walked over to the chair that was beside her bed and took a seat.
I wiped away my remaining tears to put on my strong facade for when she wakes up. I need to be there for her, I need to be the strong one because lord only knows how crushed she will be.
I took her soft hand in mine and started tracing her knuckles with my thumb.
She was here, alive and breathing. She was safe and getting healed, only when she wakes up she won't be fine, nothing ever will be.
I started humming 'you are my sunshine' out of habit. I had started to do it at the beginning of the pregnancy and it just stuck, it was my little moment with my unborn child while she was still in the womb and I wasn't ready to let that go.
I felt Freyah stir lightly. I hadn't meant to wake her up, all I wanted was to feel her touch and have her by my side so that I knew she was still here with me, that she hadn't left me.
"Ollie?" she questioned groggily her sweet blue eyes meeting mine.
"Saoirse," I answered back.
She tried sitting up so I stood up and helped her get comfortable just after ringing the assistance button to get her all checked up.
"How are you feeling?" I rushed out cupping her cheeks whilst running my thumb over the apple of her cheek left cheek.
"All of me hurts Ollie. Something doesn't feel right," she spoke honestly.
That's when she realised.
"Why am I not pregnant anymore? Did I have the baby? Is she alright? Where is she? Can I see her? Did you see her? Did you hold her? Did–" she continued babbling on, a bright spark in her eyes as she talked about Willow.
"Fire she–" I started but couldn't finish.
She saw the change in my voice and was about to question it when doctor Salvatore came into the room.
"Hello there sweet. How are you feeling?" she asked Freyah who looked at me one last time before focusing her attention on the doctor.
"I'm in pain but I'm sure you'll give me drugs for that or something." she tried to laugh it off but the grief could be felt in the room.
Doctor Sal only gave a small sad smile, she cast her gaze towards me and sighed knowing that I hadn't told Freyah anything yet.
"Doctor, where is my baby?" Freyah asked seeing the wordless conversation the doctor and I were having.
Freyah squeezed my hand tighter, my breathing increasing and it showed on the heart monitor she was attached to.
"Tell me where my baby girl is, please." her voice trembling at the end.
"I'm sorry to be the one to say this but the situation was critical. You were losing a lot of blood, the baby was in distress and we couldn't save both of you and she sadly– your baby didn't make it. I'm so sorry for your loss."
Hearing the doctor say those word was dragging me back a few hours of personal hell but what was about to happen next as probably worse.
"My baby? Is..." Frey started but covered her mouth with her hand to hold the sobs in.
"NO! You are lying! You're lying." she yelled at the doctor.
"I'm so sorry." the doctor spoke up before slipping out of the room.
"Tell me this is a joke Wolfgang, please tell me you saw Willow and this is a joke and that she is fine, please tell me." tears were glistening in her eyes making my heart clench.
"Saoirse..." I took her hand in mine giving it a squeeze and shook my head.
She let out a gut-wrenching scream and started hitting me.
"I told you to save her! She was supposed to live! I told you to save her! I told you!" she continued to hit my chest.
I sat on the bed beside her and took her in my arms, the more she hit me the closer I held her to my chest.
"No Oliver, no. She can't be dead. She was fine. No, my baby girl." she sobbed into my chest fisting my shirt in her shaky hands.
"I know my love. I know." I held her head to my chest and let her cry and grieve the loss of our child.
Our baby girl.
Our Willow.
"I'm here Fire, we are going to survive this. I promise your grandfather will pay for doing this to us, for taking our baby girl away."
I continued holding her, silence filling the air once more apart from her small sobs, cries for this to be a bad dream and that we could hold our daughter in our arms.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry."
We stayed in each other's embrace until she fell asleep. A nurse came in and gave Freyah some morphine to numb the pain and checked her wounds so that she could clean the stitches. While she was doing that I stepped out of the room to grab a coffee, on my way to the cafeteria I decided to get this manhunt on the road.
No one goes after my family and gets away with it.
I will fight until the end for my daughter and make sure she is avenged.
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RIP Willow Clair Mortimer-O'Connell.
This was such a hard chapter to write...
How will Freyah get through this?
Will she ever get through this?
Thoughts? Predictions?
Don't forget only two more days before 'His, Hers, Ours' paper back version is live on amazon to order!!
xoxox