08:16pm | 10/06
The door swung open and Masai walked in to see me sitting on my bed.
"babe why'd you leave, you're about to go on any minute now. you nervous? because it'll be—"
"you...raped someone?" I asked trying to keep my cool
"w-what are you talking about?"
"I don't know you tell me" I said turning my phone to show him the police report and case files Storm sent me
He didn't even have to read it before knowing exactly what I was talking about.
"it's really not what you think" He said
"of course it isn't. because it doesn't say right here that you admitted to doing it and plead guilty"
"look. it's really not how it seems okay. are you gonna hear me out or nah?"
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms which he took as a signal to speak. He bent down in front of me and placed his hands on my knees but I flinched.
"I was 16, went to a party and got drunk—you know the usual shit. there was this girl there and she was cute so I did my thing. she was drunk too and I realized it, and I knew she was probably wasted and should've backed off which is my mistake, but mind you I'm drunk off my ass too.
"so shawty was brushin all up on me and you know my guys is hypin me up. I didn't think it'd go any further than just dancing and flirting but soon she was dragging me upstairs. it was my mans crib so he was cool with it, even told me where the condoms were in his room.
"so we fucked—consensually though. and yeah we were drunk and that may not be full consent or whatever, but we were both drunk so it's not like I took advantage of her. anyways I woke up in the morning and she was still there, she said she enjoyed herself and shit, I made sure she was cool with what we did that night before I left and she was.
"a week or two later I'm being arrested for rape. I was confused as shit, my mom's embarrassed as hell blaming herself for being a bad parent, everyone in my neighborhood looking at me like I'm sick, all for what?
"turned out shawty I fucked was a rich white girl, and I took her virginity. not only that but I got her pregnant, and instead of being open with her parents she said I raped her. they put me on trail and shit, but my lawyer got her to admit she was lying. you'd think it'd all be merry and shit but nope. even with her admitting it her parents still fought for me to take the blame because they couldn't risk their reputation. how would it look for the multi-billionaire's daughter to be having a baby by a black 'nigger'
"so they aborted the baby of course, then offered to pay us—me—to take the fall but they wouldn't press charges so I'd walk but it'd still show on my record. it was either that or they continue the trail and the possibility of me being tried as an adult. I didn't want to give up easily knowing there was a chance but my lawyer made me realize something that my dumbass didn't consider. regardless of money, regardless of status, she's white and I'm black, she's a girl and I'm a guy, no matter what I say, no matter what proof I have she'll win—'they'll always win' he said"
"so you admitted to rape even though you didn't do it?" I asked
"it was either that or risk being taken away from my moms for 11 years"
"and you were planning on telling me this when?"
"truthfully, never. it's a part of my past—even though it was two years ago. but the case was sealed, that's how I got into college"
I nodded then just started to look around my room. I don't even know what to say to that.
"wait...the case is sealed. how did you find out about it?" He asked looking at me confused
damn it.
"well uhh...my uh uncle he works for the FBI and umm..."
"you did a background check on me?" He asked in disbelief
"no. my uncle's did but it's normal according to my sister. but—"
"so your family went and looked into my private life, dug up a case that is sealed, all for what? you to break up with me?"
He was standing now and was pissed off.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I told them not to. I didn't even want to know the first time it was brought up but then my sister just blurted it out. our mom was raped when she was a teenager so it's a sensitive subject for my family. they just thought you'd be like the person who hurt my mom, and I deserve to know that don't I?"
He started to pace around my room raging. I was a little nervous, not that he'd hurt me or anything. more like hurt himself.
"first they didn't like me—which I can't really do shit about so I let that go. but then they try and replace me, and now they're trying to turn you against me? Cai I fuck with what we have heavy, you're the best thing in my life right now but I can't with your family. it was one thing not having their support but now they're looking into me?"
"w-what're you saying?" I asked
"I dunno. I really don't know, all I know is that I can't" He said before walking to the door "and don't follow me...I need to be alone right now"
He opened the door and slammed it shut on his way out. I just stared at it hoping it'd swing open and he'd be behind the door with open arms and forgiveness. But five minutes passed, and then 10, until I finally gave up.
I wanted to cry but I wasn't going to. He was worth the tears but I couldn't bring myself to shed them. My dad once told Storm and I that if a person is never worth our tears then we shouldn't shed them. But if I cry that'll mean it's actually over. Which it's not, it can't be.
My phone began to rang and coincidentally it was Storm. It was as if there was a camera in my room and they had just seen what happened. The way my family's been acting I wouldn't be surprised.
"what?" I asked
"you hung up on me I just wanted to make sure you were alright"
"alright? alright! you just had me accuse him of rape when it was really just one big misunderstanding. he didn't rape anyone, he just had sex with the wrong person. I'm pretty sure right now he's thinking he's dating the wrong person too. I get that you guys don't like him for what ever reason, you don't even need to give him a chance, but you guys couldn't leave him alone either? He's making me happy and treating me right, is that not what you guys want? but now I might have just lost him, which probably makes you guys happy. well go along, go spread the good news to them"
I hung up the call before she could even respond then threw my phone to the foot of my bed.
This is not how tonight was supposed to go. I was supposed to be dancing right now, then finally losing my virginity. Instead I ditched the team minutes before the performance, which I know will have me thrown off the team, especially since I have a solo part. plus my boyfriend—if we're even still considered that—doesn't want to be around me for good reason. all for what? a misunderstanding that could've been avoided if everyone minded their business.
I knew no good could come from finding out that way. now I'm the one suffering the consequences.
I kicked off my shoes and laid into bed not worry about putting on a durag. I got under my covers and closed my eyes trying to force myself to sleep. If I fall asleep I won't have to think about it.
It wasn't working though so I grabbed the remote to the TV which was resting on top of my desk luckily, so I didn't have to get up.
I turned it on and put on Friends. I started watching it when the guys brought it up at lunch. It's actually a pretty funny show. It wasn't working though.
I left the TV on as background noise then went back under the covers and closed my eyes. It took some time but I finally fell asleep.
~•~
Bzzt Bzzzt! Bzzt Bzzzt! Bzzzt!
I groaned as I answered my phone under my pillow without looking
"Hello?"
I pressed my phone to my ear and still had my eyes closed, hoping who ever it was would sense my sleepy voice and leave me alone.
"Caiah" I heard my dad's voice through the phone
"yeah?"
"Storm told me what happened. I'm sorry"
"are you?" I asked finally opening my eyes and sitting up
"yeah son, I am. I know what it's like, trust me. When I was dating Markus my dad was a so called pastor, so being gay was not easy. We had to hide and pretend we were just friends. Even when we finally could come out not everyone was happy about it. Your aunt Shay, she wasn't the biggest Markus fan, she never did anything about it but she still didn't really like him. I agree with you, what they did was not right and uncalled for. I already talked to them about it"
"yeah well it's too late now"
"you funny as hell, and obviously too young. boy this is nothing but a disagreement. if you guys can't work this out then maybe it really wasn't meant to be. I promise this time it'll be different, they won't be on his back like that—even Jakob and Kamron. but if time's what you need I respect that"
"I guess"
"remember though, he's one of the many boyfriends you'll have. if you're anything like me you'll have a Maximus, who you'll fool around with. You'll have a Kenny, who'll leave his whole girl for you. Then you'll get yourself a Vontez, he'll be like your best friend. Lastly you'll have a Deivys, the perfect guy—and if you do get a Deivys and he proposes don't be like your dad and not marry him"
"what happened with that anyways?" I asked being curious
"I left Deivys on our wedding day—a few minutes before our wedding to be exact—to be with Vontez because I thought he was the right fit for me. Earlier Markus had told me to not 'marry for family but to marry for love', which I understood, or thought I did. but family is love, and I know that woulda worked out. but anyways I got with Vontez and we lasted a good while"
"so why'd you guys break up?"
"he wasn't ready to be open. I should've known though. the whole time we fooled around together he'd always say he wasn't gay and if he were he'd ask me to be his boyfriend. I never took it seriously but turned out, he really wasn't willing to accept himself. he told me to give him some time but I was a 24 year old father of two children, I didn't have time to deal with that childishness" He explained
"do you regret it?" I asked
"breaking up with him, no? after a certain while I don't want to hide anymore. I'm a grown man who pays my own bills and gets my own money, who do I need to hide from? That relationship would've just held me down, but we're still good. I regret breaking up with Deivys the most, to this day I wish I hadn't. Bernice is amazing but Deivys was the one, I know it"
"so why didn't you go back to him after you realized Vontez wasn't the one?"
"because, it was too late. I had already wasted my time with Vontez that he moved on. Not right away, but coincidentally a week before I ended it with V he started seeing someone, and today they're married. dude is living my life right now, but I can't be mad. I did that to myself. but that's not important right now. you guys will get over it, I know you will"
"Thanks" I said genuinely feeling a little better
"no matter what I always got you okay, even when they're all against you and don't support you. but don't be mad at them forever, if you take a step back and think about it they're only trying to protect you. after witnessing me with guy after guy after girl after guy they just want you to have it better"
"I know but they're still some lines you don't cross"
"yeah, family is family though. I gotta go but I love you, and forgive your uncles this one time okay?"
"maybe. love you too"
"good enough" He said before hanging up
I love my dad, he's like my best friend. The more I think about it, we really do have a lot in common, it's kinda scary. I know I can always talk to him though, he'll have some kind of answer.
I got up from my bed and slipped on my slides to go wash my face in the bathroom. I opened the door and was surprised to see Masai standing there about to knock.
"Hi"
⏮
23 years ago...
I laid on my bed and FaceTime'd Markus while munching on some chips. He answered after the second call and he looked terrible. Like not crying wise but he looked like he was angry, hurt, sad and all of the above.
"what's wrong babe?" I asked setting the chips to the side.
He didn't respond right away but just stared at me.
"you can trust me I promise" I said trying to make him feel comfortable
"I-I think w-we should stop" He said
"stop what?" I asked confusedly
"seeing each other" He said
I could see the hurt in his face while he said that but I could tell he was trying so hard to hide it.
I myself was hurt. I had finally found someone who actually felt right being with, how was this ending so soon?
"w-w-why?" I stuttered to get out
"I don't like you no more, just leave me alone and don't talk to me" He said before ending the call
That right there is all that it took to break my heart. I slouched down and started to ball my eyes out.
I don't know if it was love but it felt really right with him, and I know he felt it too. We've only been together for a few days but they say you know right away when its the one.
Why am I crying over a dude though, I thought. I wiped the tears off my face and went to Mia's room. She was laying in bed texting on her phone before noticing me.
"what's wrong Kai?" She asked while patting the bed for me to sit
I got in the covers and started to cuddle her and cry some more.
"we broke up" I said letting the hot stream of tears fall out.
"what! why?" she asked squeezing me
"i dunno, all he said was he didn't like me, but I could tell in his eyes that he didn't want to do it" I said trying to stabilize my breathing
"awww, don't cry" She said rubbing my back
"that's what I was telling myself, I shouldn't cry over a nigga" I said wiping my tears
"that's right, but cry over a man who makes you happy. If he is a man that makes you happy and you know it felt right then you are allowed to cry. If you saw a future with him then it is okay to cry. but don't shed a tear on someone who's not worth it" She said comforting me.
That night we both fell asleep in each others arms like we used to when we were younger. Out of all of this the one thing I was sure about was that Mia, would always be there for me.