The only way to get Suzie to shut up was to say yes, and I waited for our Friday night double-date like a prisoner awaiting execution. Only with everyone watching, it was like I was acting a part in a horrible made-for-TV film. My stomach wouldn't untie, and my words were far from kind. I jumped at every unforeseen sound. Brenan was cute and smart and funny, and all the girls were vying for his attention now that he was single.
So why couldn't I just go with it? See if he was as great as everyone else thought?
The problem was that to me, he was just okay. Was it fair to either of us if I allowed myself to settle for okay?
Maybe Suzie was right, and if I gave it a chance—as in not compare Brenan to David—I might like him more than just okay. Brenan could grow on me. Maybe. But I doubted it. At least it gave me an excuse to hit Suzie and Deryk all week, keeping my jab in perfect condition for whenever I was lucky enough to train again.
Working my four-hour shift at Tucker's on Wednesday night was the only break in the drone of the week. It was the one place where nobody looked at me with curiosity and expectations like a clown about to complete their next trick. Gabe was back to being civil, Mike acted like I hadn't been a bitch on her rag, and Raffy... Well, he was Raffy. They'd all heard about my double-date thanks to Suzie's big mouth, like she was trying to tell everyone so that I couldn't flake out. Raffy wasn't willing to barter into giving me my shift back so I would have a reason to ditch, even when I offered to clock in the hours so that he would be paid.
My boys my ass. If Suzie had been right about that, they would help me get out of something I didn't want to do. But no, they weren't my boys at all.
When Friday arrived, Suzie tried dressing me, but I wasn't that agreeable to the charade. The last thing I needed was Brenan thinking I wanted to impress him. Or—gasp—that I was easy. So, just to make my point clear, I didn't change out of the clothes I'd worn to school: faded jeans slightly frayed at the hem, a black, loose-fitting hoody—the kind without a zipper so he wouldn't expect it to come off—and white sneakers.
Suzie was appalled when she saw me, and I secretly hoped it would be enough to cancel, but that was too optimistic. Still, it was her fault for making me do this—her and Deryk. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here, and I never would have felt obligated. As much as I hoped to make myself feel something for Brenan, it just wasn't there.
But for one night, I would pretend, and tomorrow I could go back to being closed off.
We drove around the block two times before finding somewhere to park near the theatre. So long as I wasn't in store for some sappy romance, I was fine with the movie part—seriously not annoyed at all. It wasn't like a darkened theatre was anything like a restaurant or whatever other choices could have been made to force me to engage in stiff, undesired conversation. Watching a movie? Not bad.
We walked around to the front of the theatre from the parking lot in the back of the building and spotted Deryk and Brenan right away. They were both leaning against the framed 'Coming Soon' posters. Deryk was in a hoody and jeans, his dark brown hair cut in a shag Suzie gushed was perfect for her fingers to play with—he must have it cut like that as it never seemed to grow or get shorter.
Brenan had changed since school. Okay, so I had looked earlier just so I'd know, and maybe felt a twinge of guilt for not putting in the effort. But it wasn't enough to have changed. He'd switched his black hoody for a white one and jeans for a beige pair of khakis. He stood nearly as tall to meet Deryk at six-two, and with a chiselled jaw, baby blues, and sandy blonde hair, he could have easily passed as a young Paul Walker. His smile helped—a lot.
"Hey, Babe!" Suzie pranced into Deryk's arms and while they 'greeted' each other—so rude—Brenan remained leaning against the wall with awkward glances cast towards me while I stared down and kicked the ground.
I cleared my throat to be heard over the smack of Suzie and Deryk's lips.
"Sorry," Suzie said, though she obviously wasn't, and rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked between me and Brenan and sighed. "Do I have to introduce you two? Seriously?"
I shrugged, and he grinned, and we both looked at Suzie. Deryk laughed. Some of the tension that had settled floated away. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it would be. I just had to stop being so 'closed off', as Suzie had said, and remember the most important factor: I wasn't betraying David.
"O-kay then." Suzie pointed at me and then Brenan, then at me once more. "Alyssa, Brenan. Brenan, Alyssa."
"And I'm Deryk." Deryk raised his hand and smirked.
"Shut up," she said, and smacked him with an open palm against his chest.
He grabbed hold of her wrist and kissed the top of her knuckles before tucking her into his side, another well-placed peck of affection placed on the top of her head.
Brenan stepped forward and I held my breath.
"Aly, right?"
"Uh... Yeah." I cleared my throat. "I guess. I mean, it's Alyssa, but my friends call me Aly." My gaze didn't waver from his as I spoke, and I saw a shadow darken the depths of his eyes. "I mean, you can call me Aly, not that I don't consider you a friend."
I looked up to Suzie for help, but she was too busy smushing her face into Deryk's shoulder and laughing at my verbal blunder to notice. Deryk refused to look at me but wasn't laughing. Not aloud, anyway.
"Can we please go inside?" I looked back to the ground and shoved my hands into the pocket of my hoody, feeling the chill of night creep in now that we'd stopped moving.
No one spoke. A moment later, as though a silent consensus had been reached, we all shuffled into the main lobby of the theatre. Deryk and Suzie walked side-by-side, then me, and then Brenan. To a random observer, we must look like a couple on the outs, or exactly what we were: two high school seniors thrown together by over-meddling friends trying their hands at matchmaking.
Did Brenan know that they'd used coercion to get me here?
"Brenan," Deryk said with forced lightness.
Looking up, I found Brenan watching me. My skin burned crimson, not with embarrassment, but guilt. Did he know what I was thinking? That it wasn't fair I had been talked into coming when he actually wanted to? Like, if he was watching me trying to figure it out, or if he knew already and was disappointed, lost in an attempt to figure out why. But then, maybe he was oblivious and watched because he hoped there would be more between us.
All the unknown further cemented the fact that I disliked blind dates.
"Let's go get some popcorn." Deryk threw his arm over Brenan's shoulder and began pulling him away.
"Do you want anything?" Brenan asked me, not moving or breaking eye contact, even as he struggled against Deryk's pull. "A drink? Popcorn?"
I looked back to the floor, but a small smile stretched my lips up. "I'm fine."
He nodded, his face falling, and let Deryk pull him away.
Suzie stared after them as they left, and then shifted to watch me. She took a deep breath and scooted over three steps, leaning forward to whisper, "You're so mean."
"What?" I shook my head, furrowing my brow. "How am I mean?" Looking around us, I whispered, "You tricked me into this!"
"Seriously?" She looked at me like I was stupid, and then let her eyes follow Brenan and Deryk.
"What?" I followed her line of sight to where they waited their turn at the concession, confused.
She darted her eyes back to me and hesitated before plunging in. "You can be so dumb, Aly."
"Hey! I'm not stupid!"
"Really? Then why didn't you let him get you anything?"
Pulling my hands out of my pockets, I shifted my weight and crossed my arms. "Because I don't want anything."
"So? You should have asked for something. Not all the rumours about you two at school have been good, you know. They go from you two having a baby to you guys pulling a Naley from One Tree Hill and getting married." She rolled her eyes. "Someone even said you had to be bribed to go out with him."
"You did push me into this, Suzie."
"He doesn't need to know that! And by letting him get you something, he would realize you don't hate being here. With him, I mean. On a date."
"But—"
"You cannot keep clamming up, Aly," she warned. "If you don't like him by the end of the night, fine." She sighed, lifting her hand just to let it fall back to her side. "But at least give the guy a chance and try to get to know him before discounting the idea of there being a you and him."
When had Suzie become wise? And why? I didn't need a relationship with a guy in order to feel happy like she was with Deryk. But I did miss how it felt, that happiness I had found in my relationship with David even though we had never passed that honeymoon, I-smile-when-you-smile stage. Brenan wasn't David, but maybe he didn't have to be. Maybe Suzie was right.
"Fine," I said, looking back to Deryk and Brenan, and sighed. "I'll try."
"Good," she said and smiled.