Bardic Tales

By RichardHigley

71.9K 682 307

Poems and stories of my invention from a bardic tradition Please enjoy at your leasure, My Lords and Ladies More

Bard's Tales
Riding the Bore
Colossal Boar
Round Table Discussion
Crusader out of Work
Beauty in the Beast
The Fairest to His Eyes
Mal de mer and the Viking
Well Met Hardy Fellow
Dragon's Hoard
The Choosers

The Princess and the Pea Crudite

687 31 26
By RichardHigley

Not of normal Princess stock

But still of royal blood

She did not sit for needle work,

Played often in the mud

A distant Dukedom, not too large,

This little girl's birth place

A rough and tumble house of men,

Her brothers set the pace

When just a babe, Her mother died,

Her father unconsoled

Raised Her as he would a son,

A fighter brave and bold

With no concession to Her sex,

Her lack of stick and stones

She joined the boys in all they did,

In cuts and broken bones

Without a mother guiding Her

She didn't grow genteel

She learned to master men at arms,

She had a will of steel

You know, that girl could clean up good

Though it was all facade

She could not speak aloud in court

With ladies, she was awed

As often happens in these tales,

There was a Prince at hand

Whose mother thought it well past time

He started His own band

But He was loath to choose a mate

Who could not hunt and ride

He wanted someone strong and sweet

To stand up at His side

When out on hunt with Duke and sons,

He met the little Sister

She shot the biggest deer that day,

To celebrate, He kissed Her

He could not get her off His mind

But then He didn't try

His mother saw the change in Him

And wondered at the why

The Queen could not be out of step,

She had to know it all

She found the Prince's hunting ground

And paid the Duke a call

While touring through the castle

She made the Duke aware

The Prince was looking for a wife

To give the Crown an heir

The candidate must be elite

Be delicate, refined

She must have manners, be discrete,

Not as the coarser kind

The Girl was called to meet and sit

In converse with the Queen

Just in from traipsing in the woods

At least Her face was clean

The Queen was shocked and let it show

The Girl was unrefined

But there was something deep inside

The Queen had so divined

Without the proper tutelage

The Prince could lose His Bride

The Queen would have to undertake

To teach the Princess pride

Back at the castle of the King

The entourage returned

When Princess Girl was nested up

Her tatty clothes were burned

She grew up with no female friends

She had no courtly wiles

She'd never had a proper dress

Made in the latest styles

Through all the weeks and months ahead

The Queen kept Her in training

Soon came the day all waited for

With just one test remaining

The queen had filed Her rough spots down,

Taught her grace and polish

With the success of one more thing

All negatives abolish

The final Princess puzzle piece

Would She be fine enough

To feel what lesser women don't

Through piles of fluffy stuff

Twenty straw filled mattress ticks

And twenty filled with down

Were Her bed this last long night,

She got up with a frown

When asked about Her sleep last night

She said, "What sleep you say?

I felt the bed was filled with rocks

I had no place to lay!"

Behind Her hand, the Queen did smile

So no one else could see

She sent a waiting lady off

To get a single pea

The pea, the Queen had placed beneath

The bedding in the stack

The evidence of Princesshood

She wanted to give back

She had the pea encased in glass

And noised it all around

It wasn't rocks, but just the pea

She felt inside the mound

The Queen knew well the Princess Bride

Would not be long in court

Before She felt the need to hunt

And otherwise cavort

She also loved her Son enough

To make the pea a pendant

So if some eyed Her princessness,

The evidence would end it

The truth is, what one is inside

Is all one needs to be

And all it takes to prove it may

Be just a little pea

Richard Higley © Aug 2012

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