"Koda, wake up." Morlen, as gently as he could, rocked his son's shoulder back and forth. The fabric of his jumper was ice cold. Koda jumped awake so suddenly that he didn't recognise his father at first, nor his surroundings. Everything around him was cold and dark and unfamiliar. He pressed his back to Enya's gravestone as Morlen lifted his hands, freezing on the spot.
"It's me, your dad!" Morlen grabbed his arms as Koda's eyes darted as far as the dim torchlight would let him see. "You're freezing!"
"I saw him," Koda whispered when his brain registered that Morlen wasn't a stranger. The only sound in the night was Koda's chattering teeth. "I saw Grandpa's dove."
Morlen felt the blood rush to his legs, draining colour from his face and tingling the hairs on the back of his neck. "Let's get you home, come on." He helped his son to his feet and guided him to the fence. It took a while to get Koda over the sharp poles injury free, but when they were safely in the car and under a brighter light, Morlen noticed blood on Koda's hands, smothering his pale skin. In his left hand, Koda gripped a handful of white feathers, drenched at the tips with blood too. Morlen slowed down his actions until he was like a cat moving around something he didn't want to disturb.
"It died." Koda had cried so much, he didn't know how more tears were pooling in his eyes. He didn't know how his voice was making sense. "The dove, it died and I took the soul."
Morlen's ears rang loud with a high pitched noise. "What dove?"
"Grandpa's dove."
Morlen's eyes were cemented to Koda's bloody hand. He couldn't move them, he was too horrified. "Did-" He cleared his throat. "Did you kill the dove?"
"No!" Koda gasped and the tears fell. "I tried to save it, but it was too injured! I couldn't save it, dad, I couldn't! She's gone because of me!" Koda sucked in his breath and the unbearable sorrow split his stability into two. "It's all my fault dad! I'm so sorry I couldn't be a better son!"
Morlen was distraught. His son sat next to him completely breaking down, blaming himself for his mother's death, and blaming himself for the way Morlen treated him over the years. There was nothing in the world that should make Koda feel an ounce of guilt.
"You've got it wrong, all of it," Morlen said sadly, resting a hand on Koda's knee to comfort him. "You did not take your mother's life, and you did not cause rifts in this family. Do you hear me?"
"I did," Koda whispered, feeling like he couldn't breathe. "You hate me."
Morlen realised that words were just not enough. He could tell Koda that he was guilty of nothing, and he had never hated him. At this ruptured time in their lives, actions would most definitely speak louder than words. Morlen got out of his car and walked immediately to the passenger side. He opened the door to Koda and forcefully wrapped arms around him.
His father's embrace was a foreign feeling. Koda didn't know his father was capable of physical affection. His arms around him were awkward and rigid, but Koda couldn't deny that he needed severe comforting. If it was his dad who could offer it, then so be it.
Koda hugged Morlen back, gripping his jumper and letting his tears soak into the wool. "I-I just want the pain to be over," he sobbed.
"Me too." Morlen closed his eyes, resting a hand on the back of Koda's neck, squeezing it and rubbing his thumb back and forth. "We'll get through it together like I promised, okay?"
Koda nodded, but he was far from believing his father's words. To truly believe him, he had to see it, experience it, live it.
* * * * *
Alfie woke the next morning to feel like he hadn't slept at all. For the duration of his sleep, a reoccurring dream circled Alfie's head over and over. In the dream, a dove was falling through the air with blood spilling from its wings. The dove seemed to fall for years until hands reached out to aid its fall. Alfie, in the dream, witnessed the soul leaving the body of the little frail bird. The hands that held the dove reached out and enclosed the soul within their grasp, taking it for safe-keeping.
"Koda!" Alfie sat up suddenly. The hands in the dream had to be Koda's because the dove was a heavy symbol of remembrance for Koda and Enya. Did the Grim Reaper make Koda collect a dove's soul? Was that what the dream was telling the medium?
Alfie forced himself out of bed. His head was spinning with ghosts and Koda and stresses. He tried hard not to dwell on the dream too much because his stomach called out for breakfast. Alfie made sure to send Koda a good morning text and to ask what he got up to yesterday, hoping for a normal reply.
Alfie's mother was in the kitchen drinking coffee when Alfie hurried across the cold tiles.
"Please don't tell me you stayed up all night again," Molly said, catching a glimpse of her son's dark circles under his partially bloodshot eyes.
"No, but it feels like I did," Alfie grumbled, sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal.
"What's troubling my boy?"
"Honestly, I'm worried about Koda."
Molly frowned, swirling a spoon in her drink. "Morlen phoned late last night to ask if Koda was here."
"That's weird. Did you phone back to ask if Koda came home?" Alfie asked, realising that even though he was getting close with Koda, he still needed to familiarise himself with Koda's routine and train of thought.
"I was going to, but I fell asleep." Molly's eyes shaped with concern. "Should I phone him back now?"
Alfie felt his phone buzz against his stomach. He pulled it out of his hoodie and sighed with relief. "It's Koda." He opened the text and his relief evaporated quicker than it appeared. Koda had said 'I have to see you today. Please tell me you're free?" Alfie didn't hesitate and replied with: 'I'm free. Come over whenever you want."
Molly studied the small frown on her son's brows. She had seen more stress than smiles on his young face. It wasn't right. "I'll reschedule your clients today."
Alfie looked up and his mother's calm features settled him. He loved how they were so in sync. "Thanks. Koda needs me today."
Alfie then finally dug into his breakfast and only a few minutes dragged by until the doorbell rang, meaning Koda had been hovering outside Alfie's house waiting for his text.
"Sit, I'll get it," Molly said before her son could remove himself from the table. She already knew it would be Koda as she hurried down the corridor towards the door. Molly didn't expect to see Koda's father lurking behind his son. "Hello, come in," she beamed and Koda's tired features didn't go unnoticed. Morlen looked tired too, but he hid it better. Molly led them back to the kitchen and watched how Koda headed straight for Alfie, pulling a chair as close as he could and sat down.
"Hey," Alfie smiled and his eyes flashed to his mother. They shared the same look of concern, noticing the troubled film over Koda's eyes. "What's going on?" Alfie asked when he couldn't be heard by others because of the kettle.
Alfie reached out and touched Koda's arm. He wasn't only tense, it was like Koda subconsciously reached into his mind and dragged memories of the dream to the back of his eyes.
Koda didn't answer Alfie, but he seemed to relax when Morlen sat opposite.
"He took a soul yesterday," Morlen said, ignoring the noise of shock from Molly. "Take it from him before he loses his mind."
"The dove," Alfie whispered.
"How did you know that?"
"I dreamt about someone catching a dying dove and taking its soul. That was Koda wasn't it?"
Koda nodded, daring to look at Alfie's face. His kind smile and knowing eyes always made him feel a little better. Alfie was the only one who understood him, and Koda needed him now more than ever if he wanted to keep his sanity.
"I didn't know that I was going to take it until the bird died in front of me." Koda's voice was as shaky as his trembling hands.
"Mum, can you phone Connor and tell him to come over, please?" Alfie asked, rubbing Koda's arm. "I can feel it, the soul. It's okay though because this is your job, remember?"
Koda only gulped and looked down to his fingers that pinched his wrist. No matter how much it felt like a dream, he really was awake.
* * * * *
Connor arrived at Alfie's house half an hour after Molly phoned him. They had taken a more comfortable approach by sitting in the living room with tea and biscuits. As Alfie looked around the faces, the only person who was always absent was his father. Not having Tom home was a sharp reminder that his parents were separated and his dad didn't live with them anymore.
Alfie pushed his heartache aside and focused on Koda. "He took the soul of a dove."
Connor nodded, sipping tea like the cup was made of a material that would shatter with sudden movement. "The first soul is always meaningful. I had to take the soul of my pet dog when I was young. She was dying anyway, and I felt better knowing her soul was in trusting hands."
Alfie then sat up, staring at Connor through narrowed eyes, despite Connor not being able to see him. Alfie was convinced that he could feel expression's, somehow. "You say every sidekick has a medium. Who was your medium? And are you able to communicate with ghosts because you were a reaper's sidekick or did you see ghosts before?"
Connor presumed the prolonged silence after Alfie's questions were deliberate to let him answer. "Well, I was sensitive to the paranormal before being a sidekick."
"And who was your medium?"
"You mean who is my medium?" Connor's lips curled with amusement.
"Yes," Alfie sighed, making a habit of glancing at Koda every few minutes to make sure he wasn't on the verge of a mental breakdown. Koda's blank expression and chaotic eyes were not convincing.
"I'm here to talk about Koda. Now, can you-"
"Who is it?" Alfie asked. His curiosity had taken the reigns of his voice.
"Alfie, I can't simply say it. My medium is not aware of their abilities."
"Not aware? How can someone not know?"
"Because Alfie, it is very easy to block the connection to the spiritual world. Plenty of people could be sensitive to it if they practised or believed."
Alfie twisted the ring around his index finger. Sometimes he wished for his grandmother's words of wisdom. He knew she was always with him in spirit, but occasionally, it just wasn't enough. "Why can't you tell us? It's not like your medium's in the room."
"I'm here to talk about Koda-"
"Wait, does that mean your medium doesn't know that you need them? How can you pass the souls to them if they can't help the souls?"
"Alfie," Connor said sternly, his eyes tracing the dark shapes he assumed were people. "Stop pressing the subject. I'm not here to discuss my life, I'm here to make Koda's bearable again."
Alfie sank into the couch and crossed his arms. The more he thought about Connor's situation, the more he wondered why he was so defensive and closed off about a medium. After years of being the Grim Reaper's sidekick, had Connor never approached his medium and talked to them about his situation? Alfie suddenly felt grateful that Koda knew him because if he didn't, surely it would make Koda's life rather difficult. Though Alfie knew if Connor kept it a secret, maybe it was best for the undiscovered medium to not know, whoever it was.