Kageyama Tobio
Hinata didn't come to school for days, it was pretty lonely, sitting alone in class. Without Hinata spiking during training, and he annoying and cheerful voice and presence around, it felt dull and depressing.
I tried to call him or message him, but he never picked up or messaged back.
It was sort of lonely. After a week, I decided to visit him, but his father gave me an earful on how I effected Hinata and how it wasn't natural and I should stay away from him.
I sighed. What's going on?
Then I remembered the chokeberry bush we planted on my birthday. Was it dead? I decided to check on it. I took my bottle and bought some fertilizer from a nearby garden store. I made my way to our special little spot.
It wasn't dead yet, despite the many days we haven't cared for it, it hasn't died. But it didnt look too well. I gave off the feeling of a dying plant. It has gotten bigger since last winter. I poured water over the plant and placed the fertilizer around the plant. For a moment, I wondered if this shows the status of Hinata and my relationship. Did he not love me anymore? I sighed. Nothing made sense.
I went over to the lock we locked.
"this is a love lock, we find somewhere to lock it, to signify that we will love each other forever. "
For the first time in months, I wanted to cry. A lumped formed in my throat. I missed him.
The next few weeks, I went to check on the chokeberry bush myself, hoping to see Hinata there too, but of course, it never happened. As time passed, I learnt not to show my emotions anymore, since it made everyone worried (everyone as in the volleyball team).
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. I haven't seen him. He didn't come to school anymore... It's like he just disappeared.
We didn't do well for the spring tournament either, without Hinata... Something was missing.
Early summer, I begun to see a few flowers that bloomed. They were beautiful. They were white and for a moment, I thought maybe, Hinata would come back when there were fruits. Then I realized how childish that thought was.
My parents came back for a few weeks and then they left, leaving me alone. Did everyone I cared about have to leave me?
Until one day, I got so frustrated I decided to go out for a run before I break everything in the house. It was summer. The heat was affecting my mood, taking a run in a rain sounds good. It was pretty funny for it to rain in summer too. It wasn't too heavy, but you'd get drenched in a few minutes, but I didn't care. I wore my jacket and started running.
I ran to the park, and did more running. My shoes and clothes were soaked with rain water but I continued, as if i was running away from my frustration and anger and confusion.
Eventually I got tired and sat down on a wet bench. I didnt matter, I was drenched anyway.
I looked into the forest and wondered how the shrub was. Would it die from too much rain? I hope not.
I figured I should go check on it. Staying out in the rain for another hour didn't seem too bad.
After a few minutes, I feared I was lost. I couldn't find the rock. I panicked and started walking around aimlessly. I came to a rock that looked familiar... I saw a little red ink on it and I knew where to go.
I ran towards the right and I couldn't believe my sight.
~some time before~
Hinata Shoyo
I knew I was going to pay for running away from home later, but it didnt matter now. My mind wasn't working well, I was just running. I remembered the chokeberry shrub. I hadn't taken care of it for a long time, was it dead? I hope it wasn't dead... I decided to go there and apparently, the plant was doing well, there were flowers blooming. They were beautiful. They smell nice too.
It didnt seem too warm here, thus place made me feel more calm. I sat down and leaned against a tree and buried my face into my arms and cried some more.
A few minutes later, I decided to dig out our time capsule, perhaps it would give me some comfort.
When I just started digging, it begin to rain, it wasn't too heavy, but it's odd to rain like that in summer. I continued digging, my uniform turned muddy but I didn't care. After many minutes of hard work, I finally found the box. I cuddled against the tree so the papers wouldn't get too wet. I opened and picked up the blue ones, just to see what Kageyama wrote.
One after another, my emotions exploded, I felt nostalgic, sad and happy all at the same time. He wrote how much he loved me, and the fun times we had together. Until the last one, it was folded and said : open five years later. Curious, I opened it. The messaged completely overwhelmed me. I felt guilty I didn't fight for our relationship, I just sort of... Gave up. I wondered if he stills remembers this, I wondered if he still loves me.
I cried like a baby, but I still felt really bad. I pulled out my penknife and started cutting myself. The pain from it has become something like a drug to me. The pain wasn't just pain anymore, it made me... Think less. It made me feel kind of better. I knew if I did too much, it would kill me, just like any drug, but I didn't care. Slash after slash, my arm was bloody and stinging from the pain blood was spurting but it wasn't enough, I worked on the other hand. Until finally, I dropped the penknife and covered my face with my hand, crying. My uniform was muddy, wet and bloody. I could feel my warm blood just spurting out of me, but I didn't care anymore.