41 : ship for sail
song : everybody - ingrid michaelson
"Raya, no, put that down." My mothers voice called out, distracting me momentarily as I walked through the foyer with a big box of decoration in my hands.
"Should I take you literally? Because this is a box of very breakable things." I shrugged, turning on my heel to glance at her.
Surprisingly, she was in black dress pants and a silk top. Usually she was clad in the most expensive dress or skirt, with a top to match. Something had switched between us since my trip to Germany.
I hadn't told her yet, and she seemingly had no idea that I ever even left the house when she was gone, but things seemed less tense between us.
I wanted to tell her everything as soon as she stepped foot through the door but I knew it wouldn't be beneficial for either of us so I decided to wait until the right moment.
Unluckily for me, the right moment was not in the very near future since she was holding a charity event this Friday and there was only two days to prepare for it.
Of course our decorators and event coordinators have everything down to a science but I can't help but feel lousy for not helping them since the event was so last minute.
"Don't be so literal, Raya." My mother sighed, approaching me and taking the box from my hands before handing it off to one of the workers that happened to be passing by us at that moment.
"You need to be getting ready, I can't have you looking anything less than royalty tonight." My mother spoke, eyeing my ripped jeans that Alanna had given me.
I rolled my eyes playfully. "It's only three, the event doesn't start until six!" I protested in a childlike manner, giving her a pointed look.
"And you should've started getting ready an hour ago! Rome wasn't built in a day, darling." She said, pushing me from behind by my shoulders towards the grand staircase that lead to the second floor.
I sighed in a defeated manner, spinning on my heel as we approached the bottom of the stairs.
"Can I invite my friends?" I decided to not beat around the bush and just face the music.
My mother's brows furrowed together and I watched as confusion danced over her expression.
I've never asked to invite friends since my mother knew that other than Alanna, I was pretty closed off and alone. In any other walk of life I would be considered a loner, and honestly half the time that's what I title myself as.
"Friends?" She ponders aloud, wondering how exactly the plurality of that word fits into my life.
I nodded slowly, waiting for her to blow up and accuse me of sneaking out and doing things I was stupid to do when she just shrugged lightly.
"I suppose I don't see a problem with that, I'd love to meet them." Her tone was soft, and her eyes forgiving.
I bit the "Wait, really?" and instead just nodded again, surely looking like a complete idiot.
I've been home for four days and my mother for three, and ever since she stepped foot through that door something between us drastically changed. I initially chalked it up to finding my father and answers I never thought I'd receive, but I quickly began to realize that something changed in my mother during that business trip.
She was warmer, she smiled more and even seemed to laugh at jokes here and there.
With a quick thank you I was ascending the stairs to the second floor and heading straight for my bedroom where I was sure to find a whole team of people here to make me look nothing less than royalty as my mother put it.
As I continued down the hall I sent out a mass text to Alanna, Kyle, Ian and Vitale that they were invited to the event tonight.
I felt like a giddy school girl, a smile on my face as I pressed send.
For the first time in my life I actually feel like I have a group of friends that actually care about me and me them. It is such an incredible feeling to have such great people, even if Ian sometimes makes me want to smash my face against the wall.
But, like, in a good way.
As I entered my bedroom I quickly realized that my afore assumption was correct. There were at least five people in my room bustling around, getting things prepared.
To anyone else this would probably be an overwhelming situation but I was overly excited to see my favorite makeup artist that I'd come to love over the years of growing up: April White.
"April!" I gasped aloud, catching her attention very quickly. She turned on her heel, her brown hair twirling with the action as she caught sight of me.
"Raya!" She squealed and I'm pretty sure the whole room groaned aloud.
It was like those romance movies where the long lost lovers run at each other in slow motion with dramatic music playing in the background.
We enveloped each other in a tight, bone crushing hug.
"Where have you been!" I squealed as we released each other.
"France! I got some work opportunities over there and you know how I'm always trying to go somewhere new." She informed me, chuckling lightly.
She's right. I know that traveling is undoubtedly her favorite thing to do. When a different makeup artist began doing my makeup for events the past few months I was disheartened.
"Come on, come sit in the hot seat and tell me about all the things I've missed!" She grinned, spinning around the seat that was in front of my lit vanity.
As soon as my butt hit the chair, I was the main event. She was quick to begin my makeup while Eli, my hairdresser began curling my hair at the same time.
It's an odd thing to have so many hands on you at once.
"So, spill the beans, I hear you have a new love interest." Her words make me stare at her with wide eyes since my mother didn't even know about Vitale. "Alanna." She said, immediately clearing up my confusion.
Alanna and April were friends long before she began working for my mother. They'd gone to high school together and though they weren't friends for a good majority of their time in school, towards the end of their senior year they ended up becoming friends.
I didn't know much about the blossoming of their friendship other than it involved alcohol and a boy named Peter.
"It's a very long story." I attempted to brush off her question, staring at my reflection in the mirror as the two people worked around me.
I caught the sassy expression of Eli, my hairdresser, in the mirror.
"Good thing we got three hours, huh?" He smirked, wrapping a piece of my hair around the curling wand as he met my gaze in the mirror.
April chuckled along with him, causing me to roll my eyes dramatically.
"He's right, we've got nothing but time, baby." April joked, continuing to blend out the warm eyeshadows in my crease.
I released a long sigh, quickly realizing that between Eli and April I wasn't about to weasel my way out of this conversation.
"So, there's this...man, named Vitale. I met him with Alanna a few months back and we hit it off and have been seeing each other on and off since." I settled for the most mundane telling of the story that definitely clued on a completely different narrative than what was true.
I caught Eli's sure, girl gaze in the mirror again.
"We all know that ain't the truth, pumpkin. So what really went down? Did you meet him and find out he into some kinky shit and now you gotta figure out what in the world you're doing because you like him but you can't say you a big fan of the whips and chains? Like it's great if you like that stuff but some of us just ain't into it, sugar!" Eli went on his rant and I caught April's gaze, both of us trying ridiculously hard to not chuckle.
"Why does this sound like you're speaking from personal experience, Eli?" April asked, glancing at him over me with a smile pulling on the corners of her lips.
Eli rolled his eyes, pursing his lips as he continued with my hair. "Listen, Liam is a great man, but I just don't think I can look past the whole chaining me to a bed thing. Something about being restricted really drives me bonkers!"
"Did you just unironically say bonkers?" I questioned aloud, watching as he ran a brush through the curls he created.
"You damn straight I did." He shrugged dramatically causing both April and I to laugh. "So spill the beans soul sister, what really happened with this Vitale guy?"
I released a defeated sigh.
"Well, he's great really. He has the prettiest green eyes, he's a little bit of a dick sometimes but then other times he makes me breakfast and kisses me good morning. He owns a hotel and his friends have quickly become my own even though they tend to drive me crazy. He's protective and saves me even when I don't know I need saving. He is maybe the most incredible man I've ever met and it's overwhelmingly obnoxious." I took a deep breath, finally catching up from all the talking I'd done.
Eli and April watched me intently, surprise dancing over both of their features.
"So then what's the catch?" April asked, furrowing her brows as she looked down at me.
"Yeah, what she said. What's the issue, baby girl?" He pondered, pulling back bits of my hair and bobby-pinning it.
I released another sigh, glancing at my tired reflection in the glass.
"Nothing. Nothing is an issue and that's the issue. We lead to entirely different lives and I just can't imagine our worlds ever colliding." It was the sad reality. I can play house as long as I want, but the terrifying truth is that our worlds are just so incredibly different from one another, and the idea of them ever merging into one is just fantasy talk.
Eli scoffed and I was surprised for a second.
"Stop makin' excuses, you wanna be with him so just be with him!" He said as if it was the simplest thing.
I released a sigh.
"You know, Eli's right, you should just go for it. If it doesn't work out, so what? You break up and never see each other again? But then you'll have learned that things like that don't work and you'll avoid it in your future." April offered her comments, shrugging as she began applying light foundation to my skin.
"But why go through the heartbreak of it when I can save myself since I already know it won't work?" I questioned, meeting her gaze as she continued to work.
"Honey, sometimes you get hurt in life, that's what it's all about! You break hearts, get your heart broken, it's life! What if it does work and you end up spending the rest of your goddamn lives together, huh? But you'll never know because you're too busy putting your walls up." Eli spoke, looking at me in the mirror.
I mulled over his words for a few moments, and while I know he has a point, I just don't know that I can get my heart broken by something I want to work so badly but I know won't.
"Stop patching up holes in a ship that hasn't even sailed yet, baby." Eli's sassy tone made me smile lightly. I glanced up to find April doing the same as she applied a deep red lipstick to my lips.
I sighed, glancing up at him again in the reflection of the mirror. His curly brown, almost black hair was voluminous and his tan skin was glistening under the lights as he focused on my hair.
There aren't many more people as great as Eli, and when you find them, you gotta keep them.
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Question of the day: Whats your favorite day of the week?
Mine is Wednesday for some odd reason...
Until next time, home skillets!
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