"I know not the when or the why of this, but I do know it's you."
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Xavier's pov:
Three days.
7 hours.
It's been three days and seven hours of hell. I know now why people said time wouldn't pass in hell. It'll drag on.
I knew exactly why.
Currently I was standing in my training ring with the guys right behind me, giving me some time. Why you might ask?
Because I was the biggest asshole in the city. Hazel had found out about the bet. And ever since, it feels like I've been laying on a bed of thorns.
Wow.. I've even started talking like a girl.
Before me was the very evidence of how great she was for me. How much she cared.
Before my very eyes hung the huge letters.
I love you Xavier
-blossom
She had probably snuck in here before. Most probably on her birthday. Because I came here just the night before and there was nothing of this sort hanging around.
She wanted to tell me she loved me.
On her birthday.
The day she found out.
The day I broke her heart.
For some reason it bothered me. Everything that went down between me and her bothered me.
It bothered me that she told everyone that we slept together. Like I won the bet. Which I didn't.
I didn't understand why she did that. Why did she want people to believe I won? Maybe because she loved me?
It's been three days of constant war between my brain and my heart. And turmoil in my soul.
Aaand I've started talking like a girl again.
Fuck I was going crazy. I had a fight tomorrow. And for some reason I couldn't focus at all. Actually.. I know the reason.
It's the Hazel eyes. The blushing cheeks. A shy smile. A goofy and quirky girl.
Holy fuck my dick is about to fall off.
"Hey man.. you've been quiet for a long time. " Cade's voiced echoed through the hall. My eyes remained fixated on the words dancing before me. I love you.
"Yeah.. I'm fine."
"She's not coming back." Kace said in a monotone. He had been pissed at me ever since he found out. He had taken a liking to Hazel too. I knew that as well. I knew it bothered him to see her like that.
I also knew he liked her best friend. That annoying friend of her who wouldn't leave me and Hazel alone. It was fun pissing her off though.
I knew Kace was worried whether Nora would talk to him again or not.
"She will come back. Don't you worry.". Whilst saying that, I felt like I couldn't believe it myself.
"And why would she?" Kace raised his eyebrow.
"Cuz they all do. " I answered. He gave me a cruel smile.
"That's the difference this time man. She's not like them all. She was genuine."
That hit me. Right in the nerve. I felt the rage bubbling within me start to boil again. I gave kace a push and got up.
"I don't have time for this. I'm out." Picking up the jacket, I began to walk out.
"She didn't deserve you either." He shouted behind me. "Tell me you know about her issues? What happens when she can't deal with them? Go on I dare ya!!"
That stopped me. I turned around. His face was enraged. But well. So was mine.
He thinks he knows Hazel better than me? Does he know about the way her eyes change colour? Or that she looks for shapes in clouds? Or that she blushes on the slightest thing? Or she talks to herself? Even fights with something called her "inner voice".
Did he know that?
"You think you know her better than me?" I bit out. He met my glare.
"Answer my question. Do you know what she does?" He repeated.
I stared at him. Where the fuck was he going on with that?
"She hurts herself. " He whispered. His facial expressions changed from anger to sadness.
I felt like something hit my chest. I didn't believe him. She could never do that to her.
"She doesn't." I bit out. But even I was in doubt.
"I bet you didn't look at the scars on her arms because you were too busy in fooling her into falling for you. I bet you're too self absorbed to not know she has troubles with her mum."
"Did Nora tell you that?" I asked him. I didn't answer anything.
Something on my face seemed to soften his expressions. He let out a deep breath.
"Yeah.." I shut my eyes tight. This was too much pain. Why was I hurting that bad??
Why did it physically pain me to know that she was in pain? That she was so much broken?
I didn't know why but it did. This was the first time I ached for someone else. Except for my grandma of course. I had to see her. I needed answers for too damn many things. And there's just one person who can give them to me.
"I gotta go." I uttered and began leaving. I didn't wait for the guys to say anything.
But then the most unimaginable thing happened.
I heard Cain say, "Bring her back man."
I looked at him for a second. And nodded. He was right. She had to come back.
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A whole bike ride and a thousand heartbeats later, I was finally standing outside of Hazel's home. I needed answers.
Why would she hurt herself like that? Did she ever do that while we were going out?
How bad of a boyfriend was I to now know this?
The main door to her house was open. Like always.
I warned Hazel of this so many times. It was dangerous. She would always change the subject. That stupid woman.
I wondered whether her mom was home. I had met her once. Before Hazel and I even started going out. She wasn't exactly a polite person nor did she have good things to say about my Hazel.
My Hazel?
The hell?
Actually.. that does have a good ring to it..
Slowly entering her home, I began to climb upstairs. The house was a mess. There were beer cans and bottles lying everywhere. Something probably fell because there were shards of glasses lying around. I hope Hazel wears shoes all the time. This can cut her.
Climbing upstairs, I could hear people talking. I tried to listen harder. I think it was Nora.
I stood outside her door and tried to peep through the narrow space between the door and the wall. Nora was crying.
Why the hell was she crying??
I tried to look for Hazel but could see her from where I was standing. I began to grow anxious.
"-helpless. You don't even think about anyone who cares about you." Nora was sobbing.
"And who is this exactly that you're talking about? Just one person. You. My mom hates me. My dad is dead. Nora I've no one. Literally no one who "cares about me". I heard her voice, emphasizing upon the last phrase. My heart clenched. I could hear the sadness in her voice. The pain. It pained me.
And then she came to my view. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top.
Cute.
Her hair was mess. Like she didn't brush her hair in days.
She turned around to face Nora. I could see her face now. I clenched my jaw at the sight before me. Her eyes were red. Probably from crying. Her nose blotchy and her face red. I realized her eyes are more greener than grey when she cries. Normally when I saw girls like that.. I'd just see a regular girl upset about something. But this girl.
Dammit she was beautiful. She in no way was ordinary. She was exquisite. Lovely. Mine.
She was clutching onto her left arm. I saw bandages wrapped around them. Her tank top exposing all. I felt the reality hit me like a storm. My heart felt full and rage began to creep up my chest, swirling around my ribs.
Not giving another thought, I stalked into the room. Both girls jumped with startle. Marching up to Hazel, I grabbed her by the shoulder and gently touched her injured arm. I felt my heart ache. My whole body ache.
She was so broken. I broke her even more.
"Why didn't you tell me?" My voice that was supposed be strong came out in just a whisper. I zeroed my eyes at the bandages. It pained me to see. And just because of that, I looked at them even more.
She wrenched her arm away from me. The green in her eyes was gone. It was replaced with the grey. Those eyes were cold and icy. I knew she was mad at me but I could look at the changing seasons in her eyes forever. They were just so beautiful.
She wiped the tears off.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" She demanded.
"That doesn't matter. Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked her the question again.
She probably hated the fact that I brushed her question off.
"You have no right to ju-"
"Please tell me." I let my vulnerability show. I wanted her to see how her bandaged arm made me feel. That when she hurt, I hurt with her.
"You don't deserve to know anything about me." She said with a dead face.
"Okay.. then tell me why you lied to Kace and told him we slept together?" So many questions I needed answered. What the hell went on that beautiful brain of hers, I'll never know.
"SO THAT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Tears began to well up her eyes again. Making those orbs look like shimmering jewels.
"You wanted to win the bet. I let you win so that you won't come after me. So that I get rid of you. I don't want to do anything with you!" She was still crying. I wanted to move, but I felt unable. Unable to do anything at all. How do I tell her she crying makes me ache? How do I stop her gorgeous eyes from tearing up?
"I'm gonna let everyone know you lied. I lost the bet. And I deserve what comes after." I decided upon an answer that was as sincere as it gets. Maybe that would soften her up.
"Just leave Xavier. " She was looking at her feet. Her voice shook as she said it.
"I'm not going anywhere." I said firmly. I came to get her back. I intend on getting her back.
"I am not your puppet Xavier! You're an emotionally draining man and I don't want to be with you. I am done making excuses for your behavior. You say something and do the complete opposite." She was saying all those things I knew she was gonna say. But for some reason when she said it, it hurt more than I thought.
Like when you see someone punching you in the gut, you see it coming, you brace yourself for the pain. But when it hits you it hurts harder than you braced yourself for. And then for a minute you struggle to breathe through the pain.
I was struggling to breathe through the pain. Struggling to keep my face straight.
I opened my mouth to speak. But nothing came out. I had no excuses. I was the worst to her. But there was one thing I had to do.
"Break up with me then. If you want me to leave then you're gonna have to break up with me. And use my line." I said.
I wanted her to use the same line, I use to break up with people. I knew she knew them.
She closed her eyes shut. I wanted her open them. I wanted to look in those eyes for as long as I could've. But when she opened them again, I regretted. Her eyes were freezing and aloof.
"I'm sorry baby but we're over. Good luck." She spoke those words so emotionlessly, I wondered if it was Hazel. She was always so shy. So sweet. So soft and polite. I didn't recognize the chilly looks she gave me. Instantly, I regretted asking her to breakup with me. This girl really can disarm me.
Once again her words felt like a punch. And I took it. Willingly.
I opened my mouth to speak again but she beat me to it.
"Just go.."
Swallowing the very unfamiliar lump in my throat, I nodded. I turned around.
I noticed Nora looking at me, her eyes radiating hatred and despise. I didn't even remember she was here.
And then I left the room.
I broke the heart of a girl who was the best one for me out there. And I deserve everything that comes next.
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Phew guys! Finally a Xavier's pov chapter. Lemme know how you guys liked it in the comments.
Be a doll and hit like.
Also, sorry for such delayed updates. I've just too much on my plate these days.