Previously in chapter 13-part 1...
"Mom why have you come back here? Please just calm down, you're upsetting Moira."
"Zayn shut the fuck up and will both of you just listen! Zayn it was all my fault and I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything."
Putting Moira in the chair beside me, I step in front of her. "Listen mum, I get it okay. You don't have to say it."
"No I have to say it! Because I am, I was in the wrong Zayn. I am in the wrong. But you don't understand whats been going on in my head. You don't understand. You don't understand what it is like to be me, nobody does."
Part 2
"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future." ~ LaToya Jackson
***Zayn's P.O.V***
"Mom, we love you no matter what you do. You could be a serial killer for all that matters. But no matter what you end up doing, me and Moira are your son and daughter. And we will love you all the same."
Stepping closer to mom, she flinches and pushes me into the wall. "I...I didn't mean to do that. You startled me. I just.. Zee, you know me, right? You and I have always had a close bond. You know this isn't me. You know that I can be different, you know that I will try to be different. You've been so good to us for years on end and I want to pay you back."
I really don't know what to do right now. My moms in a different world and my sister is hysterical in the chair beside me. It's hard for me to be here for both of them because I just can't. It's killing me inside knowing that I can't just wish this all away and go back to how it usually is, how we used to be.
"Moira, go into the living room. Please?"
I really don't want her to stay around and listen to mom's consistent babbling. I understand that there's something wrong with mom and I think that by talking to her I can try to figure it out. But for a 15 year old to sit and listen to it all? I won't let that happen. Pulling her into a hug, I kiss the top of her head. "It'll be okay. I'm going to help her, I'll join you soon."
Once the door shuts, I grab mom's wrist and sit her on the dining room table.
"Mom, what's...what's been happening with you lately?" I feel like this is the first place to start. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I feel that if I get start from here and not jump into it, yell at her for the things she's been doing I might be able to get more out of her.
"Well...What do you m-m-mean? I don't...I don't get it."
"Mom, whats been going on everyday? How do you feel everyday?"
"Fine. I've been fine." She smiles at me weakly. Denial. I know that she isn't telling me the truth and its breaking me. When I was younger myself and my mom were inseparable. I always used to tell her my secrets which back at the time meant everything to me even if they were the silliest little things. What I loved was the fact that I could have that relationship with my mom. But now? She's hiding things from me when I know somethings wrong with her.
"Mom. Everyday your different. One day your happy the next day your angry. You've been having crazy mood swings and you've been sneaking off places every once and a while. Mom you even had Moi's pinned up against the wall the other day, screaming at her, this isn't you and I'm worried mom." Pushing the seat back violently, she jumps out of her seat and pushes me back.
"I tol you that I was sorry about that. How could you even bring that back up? You bastard." Tears start to prickle my eyes but I know she doesn't mean it.
"Mom! Please, what is wrong? You can tell me. Mom, I'm your Zee? Remember?"
"Your not my Zee anymore." Barging past me, she runs out of the front door and slams it shut. I can't believe this is happening. This really isn't like her and I just can't process or work out what is wrong with her. Is she on something? Has she being black mailed?
Many different thoughts are running through my mind right now. She could have anything wrong with her. But one thought is standing out in my head right now and I hope it's not the truth not just for our sake's, but for her.
Running upstairs, I open up her bedroom. She has always been the type of lady for being clean but her room is overly clean. Looking around, I notice some marks on her wooden desk. The only way I can explain these marks is if you over clean them in one spot for too long and the chemicals start to break down the wood. This looks like that, but 10000 times over.
Pulling open her draws, I search through every nook and cranny. I'm hoping I won't find what I've been thinking of because I can't process that in my mind. I drag each item of clothing out of the draws and chuck them onto the floor. There is still no sign of what I'm looking for and I guess a sigh of relief escapes me.
Shutting the draw, I suddenly stop. The draw isn't going all the way back...somethings in the way of it. Stretching my arms through the draw, I grab ahold of a bottle of some kind and pull it out. As my eyes go into focus, I freeze.
My worst fears have just come true. All the air as flown out of my body as I feel my legs start to buckle.
Lithium Carbonate. It is all starting to make sense now. The constant mood swings, her edgy behaviour, OCD. She has a Bipolar Disorder.
Putting the bottle back behind the draw, I sink down beside the bed. Tears stream down my eyes as I chuck the things closest to me. I can't believe this. My mom has always been there since I was little. Since my dad left, my mom has been mine and Moira's rock. Yeah she's been different since my dad left but she was still there for us, always made sure we was dressed and ready for school, that we ate our 5 a day, that we was fed and had everything we needed. She has always been there for us and now to think she is seriously ill. I need to help her, even if she doesn't want it.
Pulling out my phone, I call a doctor. I remember being taught about this when I was in High School. We got taught about mental health diseases and it's weird to think I remember the numbers for this. If she is getting worse, I need to fight to make her better.
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"Zee? Moi? I'm sorry. I...I...I can't apologize enou-" My mom stops solid in the front door to the living room. "Zee?"
I gulp and take Moira's hand in mine. Both of our hands are perspiring profusely. I had to explain to her what was going on, and if we had to do this, we had to do this together.
"Hello Jannike."
Confusion sets over my moms face as she looks between me and Moira. "Mom, this is the doctor. Doctor Anton. He is here to help you."
"No, no Zayn. Why is the doctor here? I don't know why you brought him here. I don't need no doctor. I'm fine." Moira squeezes my hand for reassurance as I pull her closer to me.
"We... We know Mom. Your not well." This is the first time I've heard Moira speak up in a while and she sounds so weak. I don't like this, each word she says tears my hear to pieces. Do you know what it's like to see your family hanging on by the thread and your trying to chuck them rope, just to try and save them?
"What? I'm not ill. I'm far from it. You can go, GO. I DON'T NEED YOU HERE."
Stepping closer to us, she stops in the steps as she notices the two people sat next to us. "Who..who are they?"
Doctor Anton takes a small step closer and stares mom in the eyes. I guess that's a sort of way to reassure her no one is going to harm her. I can't imagine what's going on in her head right now.
"That is Mrs Chapman and Doctor Lankington. They are here to help me assess your condition Mrs Malik."
Anger takes over my moms face as she continues to scratch her neck, causing seeps of blood to form through the skin. "Assess? Assess? Assess what? Tell them Zee. I'm fine aren't I? Tell them Zee. This is all a mis understanding and you guys can go now, leave us to do what we normally do. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."
"Mom, Mom. I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do." It's true. I didn't. I have no idea what to do and I have Moira to think about at the same time. I need to do what's best for both of them, not just myself.
"We all just think Mrs Malik that sometime away from everything at a nice hospital will do you some good."
"A..A hospital?"
"Yes. We can go to the hospital now if you want? Assess you properly. Take you somewhere nice and relaxed."
Mom turns around and stares at everyone as if she is a lost child, scared that she is away from her mother and that she will never see her again. I hate this, I hate seeing her like this. Please make this stop.
"No...No I'm okay. I'm really okay thank you."
"No, we insist."
Anger starts to flare up in Mom again as she gets closer to us, grabbing me and Moira by the wrist and letting out a shaky sigh. "No, no it's okay thank you. I just want to stay here with my kids. Zee, Moi tell them! Tell them I have to stay here, I don't have to go there. Tell them you need me."
About to open my mouth, Doctor Anton pulls my mom off of our wrists and turns her around. "Mrs Malik, Zayn and Moira both think it's a good idea too."
Moira's tears start to wetten my shirt as she looks up at mom. "It's...It's...For...For the...The best." I can tell that each word that spilled out of her mouth stabbed her in the heart each time. I wish I could take her away from all of this, take away the pain for her.
"Mrs Mailk, you have to go. We have all agreed that it will be best for you. You'll be taken care of. Now, under the provisional law of the mental health act," Moira bursts into tears as she hides her head in my chest. "We are going to take you to a hospital somewhere safe-"
"NO YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. PLEASE ZAYN. I PROMISE I WILL TAKE MY MEDS. I'M FINE. I WILL BE GOOD ZAYN PLEASE."
Tears stream out of me as I look at how broken my mom is. I have caused this. "No...no mom. Your not fine." Each word in that sentence feels as if someone was turning a blade around in my heart. How can I do this? How can I do this to my mom?
"NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME." Picking up the flower pot from the table, she throws it across the room. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME." Out of nowhere, she is gone. The room falls silent as the rush of everyone out of the room starts to fade. I can't process whats happening right now.
Picking up Moira in my arms, I hold her closely too me as I run outside. Mom is struggling to get out of the arms of the police officer as Doctor Anton is trying to get her into the car.
This is it, my mom is going to be admitted to a psychiatric ward and it's all down to me. The guilt I am feeling is unbearable as I watch the tears pour down my moms face. Running down to the car, I put my hand on the window screen as Moira puts hers on top of mine.
"I love you mom. So much."
Mom is still hysterically crying but I can just lip read what she is saying. 'I love you too.'
Holding Moira tighter in my arms, we both watch as the car drives away quickly. I can't believe that has just happened. I've lost my mom.
Looking up, I can just see everyone on my street staring at the two of us bawling our eyes out into each others shoulders. I'm guessing they have just seen everything that has just happened but one person stands out in front of everyone. Dynasty.
Hey guys! I really hope your happy with this chapter! It has takes me ages to perfect. I hope that I have made this super emotional and made people cry as this has been my target all along for these part chapters. I hope you enjoyed it!
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