Imani
I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up early to pack my things. As I am packing there is a knock on my door.
"Hey, it's me" I hear Zoe's voice through the door. I walk toward the door and let her in.
"Um...I wanted to say for what's worth I had no idea either. And just like you. I have no idea about my family either." She says. I turn to face her in shock.
"You too?" I said confused.
"I guess our mothers were two peas in the pod," I said with a sigh. Zoe lets out a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, but I must say it's really amazing that you would travel this far just to get some answers. I would have never thought of doing that." She says and takes a seat on the bed.
"Have you ever asked your mom why do you guys live out here away from the city?" I asked.
"I did once but she told me she doesn't like the city and it's better for people like us to live near nature. "
"Like us?" I said confused. I was about to ask what she means but then changed the subject.
Zoe gets off the bed "So before you go. I wanted to know if you would be down in going site seeing with me? and who knows maybe you can find clues about your mother or dad?" She asked. I thought about it for a moment and realize she is right. Before I go this could be a perfect opportunity for me.
"Alright, I am down," I answered.
"Cool, let me go get ready I'll meet you downstairs." She says with a smile and leaves.
I got dressed in olive green pants with a white shirt and brown boots. I braided my hair with two cornrows doing down and put on a brown hat. I go out to meet Zoe downstairs. I meet Neema in the living room.
"Look Imani for what it's worth you are always welcome here and you can stay always long as you need to. This is your home too." She tells me.
"Thanks," I said. As of right now, I don't trust Neema. And I am going to do my best to get some answers out of her.
Luckily Zoe knows how to drive so we took her mom's car to head out to the city. It takes about an hour to get to the city. So I took that time to ask Zoe a few questions.
"So does your mom hide information about your dad too?" I asked.
"Oh no, I knew my father. We used to live in the city when I was young, but then we got attacked and he died while trying to protect us. And I think because of that my mom decided to leave the city." She answers.
"I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you any other family members?"
"Yes, I have an uncle that's all I know. And my mother doesn't really like talking about him." She says. I look out the window as we pass by trees and land.
"So how did you go to school if you guys live so far out?" I asked.
"I was homeschooled."
"Wow, do you even have any friends?"
"Online, yes" She answers with a surge of her shoulders.
Throughout the drive, we take turns asking questions about how we both grew up. And it turns out Zoe and I are not that different. We both love to read and write and listen to the same kind of music.
North Carolina is nothing like California. It's a very chill and quiet state. Not as busy and popping as LA. The area did not match my mom's personality which was loud and colorful. Zoe took me to a nice restaurant to try some wine, but sadly I am not legal yet. We then went to the mall for some light shopping and saw a movie. When we got home it was time for dinner. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up to get ready for dinner.
"Um...Imani I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I can see how hurt and how much are choices affected you as well as my daughter too. But Imani there are some things you will never be able to comprehend if I were to tell you. There are things and involvement that are not common to normal people. Please try to understand that your mother loves you very much and that's why she ran away in the first place." Neema says. Because she refuses to tell me anything not even the name of my father. I find it very hard to understand where she is coming from.
"You will no longer be alone you'll have us now. We will be your family." She says with a smile. I look around the cabin and then back at her.
"You mean hiding?" I said confused.
"Excuse me?" She says confused.
"I have spent my whole life moving from place to place. With just my mom and me. I came here for answers not to hide or run away. How is staying here any different than when I was back home? You want me to stay here in the middle of nowhere?" I shook my head. "I should be out there around people and exploring the world. Not locked up in the middle of a forest. I mean look at Zoe she is 23 years old and hasn't met any real friends? what kin---"
"Enough!" Neema yells at me cutting me off. I jumped in shocked.
"I will not have you insult me and how I choose to raise my daughter in my own house. If you have a problem with it you are welcome to leave. I won't stop you."
"Come on Neema. This isn't fair. I have the right to know about my family and who my father is. What is so bad about that? and how can I understand anything if you don't tell me anything? How is this for the greater good? What life is this? Where I don't know who I am or where I came from. Look where you and my mom's secrets have gotten us? Me with no family and you alone with no support. Are you not tried?" I said feeling annoyed. For a long time, Neema just looks at me without a word. Letting out a sigh and gets up from the table. I look over at Zoe who just looking at me in shock. I really wish she had my back for this because I know this affects her too. But I understand this has been her reality all her life so she has chosen to accept everything.
Neema comes back with a black book. She opens up and it's a photo album.
"This belonged to your mother." She said. I take the album and look through the photos of my mother's childhood. As I said before my mother was very outgoing and spirited. From her smile, I can tell she enjoyed her youth.
"This was when we were on a school trip to the mountains," Neema says with a smile.
"What are these marks," I asked looking at the white paint marks on their face and arms.
"Umm...Our family has a tradition where once you become a certain age we have a rite of passage ceremony. These marks represent the family you are from. They would take you to the mountains where you would eat and pray and be one with nature. And when the full moon is at its peak you will have to go through a very painful transformation and after that transformation, you are welcome into the family and adulthood." Neema answered.
"Oh wow," I said in awe. My mom looks so beautiful. Her hair was in an afro and she had two braids on each side of her face with big white beads. She is wearing a beautifully printed cloth that was yellow and red and a flower crown. This is the first picture I have seen her with a serious expression.
"Zoe, have you done this before?" I asked.
"Yeah, I have when I was sixteen. But it wasn't as big as this." She answers.
"Yeah, it looks like the whole city came to this," I said with a smile. I flip the book to see a photo of my mother and a young man next to her. They were near a waterfall surrounded by trees and rocks. The man picked my mom up in his arms and my mom has the biggest smile on her face.
"Is this my father," I said looking at the man. I couldn't tell if I looked like him or not because the photo was a little too bright and his eyes were closed. I quickly try to find another photo of him that's clear. The photo I found is a picture of him and my mom standing in front of a yellow jeep. He looked like a jock the way his body was built. I smiled at the photo.
"H--He looks like me," I said in shock. We have the same eyes and head shape and smile. It's amazing. I--I-- never thought I would feel this way. Looking at photos of my mom's life and my father made me feel closer to them.
"Yes, that is your father. And let me tell you your mother as head over heels for him." Neema said with a laugh. "Your father didn't care nor notice your mother. Your father was a very serious person, unlike your mother. And when your mom first laid her eyes on him---" Neema starts to tell me stories about my mom and father's relationship and how it was like. My mom and dad were very popular at school and everyone knew of their relationship. She also told me funny stories my mom did to get his attention. Although she wouldn't tell me his name this was enough. I had pictures and faces. I now know what my father looks like and where I get my looks from. I know what kind of life my mother used to have and in seeing all these photos the seems like my mother and Neema had a fun wonderful life. I don't understand why they choose to give everything up.
I learn more about my family's traditions and customers and about the school they went to. Everything I wish I could have experienced. Seeing it was getting late Neema told me she would tell me more stories tomorrow. I can see talking about my mother also brought a smile to her face. She looked so happy to talk about my mother can I can see she really did love my mom.
I go to my room to get ready for bed, but before I go to bed I give Eric a call.
"Imani!" I heard him yell as soon as he answered my call.
"Yes, Eric it's me," I said.
"Where the hell have you been? I have been looking everywhere for you. I thought you killed yourself or something. I came to visit you the next day only to find your place empty. What is going on?" He said sounding worried. I felt really bad leaving him hanging like that.
"I am sorry Eric but there was something I need to take care of first. I found something at home that could be a clue about my family. And I didn't want to tell you in case I would be disappointed."
"Imani, you know I always got your back. I would have gone with you." He says.
"I know, I know. But you already have your life planned out. I don't. I just wanted to find things out for myself. I am sorry I didn't tell you." I said.
"So I am guessing the reason you finally called me is that you found something." He says.
I laughed "Yes, Yes I did. Right now I am staying at my mother's childhood best friend's home. Today she finally gave me some information about my father and mom. She showed me pictures and told me stories about my mom and dad. I--I don't understand why my mother would run away from all of this and not tell me. She had an amazing life, Eric."
"Maybe she had her reasons? What else did you find?" He asks.
"So far that's it. I have been trying to get Neema the woman I am staying with. To tell me what she knows about my father. Luckily I at least have a photo. But for some crazy reason, she wouldn't tell me more about my family. Like if there are alive and where I can find them. And what's even crazier she is doing the same thing with her own daughter. Eric, they live in the middle of nowhere in a forest outside the city. Like--I--I don't understand who the hell wants to live out here? there is nothing Eric. Gosh, just what is so bad that they had to choose this kind of life." I said shaking my head and laying on my bed.
"Where exactly are you?" Eric asks.
"Oh, I am in North Carolina," I said.
"All the way out there? How did your mom get to Cali?" He asks in shock.
"Let me tell you the trip wasn't easy. I found a letter and a map that lead to this place. That's how I was able to come here. There were so many stops, trains, and buses. I almost gave up." I said letting out a sigh.
"Wow, So what is the plan now?" He asks.
"I am going to stay out here a little longer and see if I can find any more clues about my father. I want to know if he is alive and knows and if I even exist." I said.
"What if he already has a family of his own?" Erick asks.
I let out a sigh. "I--I am not sure. Up until now I never thought my mother was keeping secrets from me." I answered.
"Well, I wish the best for you Imani. And if you need anything give me a call." He says.
"Thanks, Eric. Oh, how about this I'll send you a photo of my family and you can go online and see if you can find any information about him. Since I am in the middle of nowhere internet is hard to come by." I said.
"Okay, no problem just text me the photo and I'll let you know if I find anything."
"Thanks, Eric. I'm going to bed I'll talk to you later." I said.
"No problem. Imani and be safe okay."
I end my call with Eric and get ready for bed. I start to think about the question Eric asked me.
"What if he already has a family of his own?"
I honestly don't want to think about it. I don't think I am ready for that yet. Right now I just want to focus on finding out what else my mother was hiding from me and what was she running from. It's been decades since my mom left this place shouldn't the reason she left no longer be a threat to her and Neema? Why is Neema still hiding out here? So any questions spin around in my mind until I finally fall asleep.