I listen to my breathing, as it gets quicker and then my breath hitches.
Slowly one rolls down a steep hill, a tear has escaped from it's lodging.
They start to flood my face and soon im just crying bitterly.
I try to wipe them away but it's not easy and soon im just smudging my makeup further into my flesh.
I try to understand what im really crying for and soon i find my answer.
My parents
My home
My brothers
Myself.
When i was 14, 2 years ago i had a phone call from my auntie in russia saying that my house just burned down, taking my family with it.
I was out of town with my boyfriend
At the time we were going on a bus tour around a fancy town. He soon dumped me when he found out the news; claiming that i was mistake and a loner.
Son of a bitch.
Lucky he still drove me 'home'.
(Which was standing out the front of my home that was ashes and crowded police offices)
I was walking down the street for about an hour and then i just walked all day. I didnt have a place in mind but i sure wanted to get away. I wish i stayed though.
I was completely out of the world (talking constantly about what had happened and why and how)
When a navy SUV pulled up next to me it was late I guessed at the time. t
The sky was black and no one was around (which sucked for me)
The window came down and a man in a black suit look up at me, he asked me if i was lost and i replied with a quick no and then walked on he then got out of the car and chased me, i ran as fast as my thin legs could go. But of course he was quicker 😧
He grabbed me in one fast motion and then started dragging me too his car.
I remember thinking this is not supposed to happen this is what happens to the actors in movies, and i am NOT a f*cking actor. I punched and slapped and through my body around but this guy was the freakin hulk. Damn he was.
And that is how i ended up here. In this hell hole.
.PRESENT.
i look out the cloudy window and see concrete and concrete ware houses.
Just like the one I was in.
My small rectangle room is grey and looks like a hospital. I have a tiny tiny squeaky bed that has the thinnest mattress ever invented. I can literally feel the metal bars underneath.
A squashy pillow that stinks.
A wadrobe that has every lingerie piece you can imagine and a few crop toos and ripped shorts. And a few thing jumpers that are cut at the belly button.
I have the tinyest bathroom that is sooo ugly and an old shower that doesnt even half work.
I am locked in this room all day and am only allowed to come out in the evening when i have to entertain men.
It is horrible being someone's little whore let me tell you.
I was a virgin when i arrived but now my body is like freaking playdough.
I have to do this for the rsst of my life i have no where to go and this is like a fucking prison once your in there's no getting out. Let me assure you i have tried.
On the first week i would act innocent and ask the guards at the door to open it cos i was vomiting or VERY sick. It worked the first time i karate chopped one of them in the thigh and then i brought my elbow down on one's head and i knocked him out cold. Hehe
But then they got use to the trick and use to me running. Damn they were fast. I mean not that i was slow i mean i consider my self as pretty fast but they were just trained killers and runners i guess.
I didnt really know much about where i was the men kept it all pretty hush.
PRESENT.
There was a knock at my door.
Dinner finally
The usall lady comes in all dressed in red. she was about 50.
"What do ya want" she spits
"The lamb stew" i mutter
"Got none" she throws back
I sigh "Well what do you have bastard?"
"Ive got broth and bread"
"well i guess im having that"
"Damn right" she says flatly
As she leaves I start to scoop up the liquid in the small bent spoon.
Mmmmn
It was slightly cold but quite nice.
Probably tinned
As i down the last of the soup
I think what it would be like if i had my family still with me.
It would be nice for a change having peoe to laugh with and joke and beleive this was all fake.
Yeah great, hillary just bring up my family again.
Ughhh i hated this sooo much i just wanted to leave and start somewhere fresh.
Will continue**