I took the proposal to the Silver Grove town council three days before the scheduled flight back to Orlando. I was feeling so sorry for myself that it wasn't hard to break into tears in front of the old men — and woman — who led the council as I told them my story. In case the Silver Grove Times article hadn't been clear enough. Yes, I was a girl who had faked being a boy, and I did this of my own volition given the fact that I otherwise would have missed out on education of a level comparable to what I had back home. I focused on that fact and not on the one where my dad had been an unwilling accessory.
At the end of the day, they could give me all the crap they wanted. The fact of the matter was that the girls in this town were severely undercut and the arguments for it were all bullshit.
The old man who seemed to be the head of the council tried that argument on me. The boys will be boys, and all that jazz.
I helpfully supplied him with a nice video of me beating up a guy at an away game that someone in the audience had captured. That quickly shut up the talk about girls being defenseless against boys.
I pushed and pushed. Dad was in the audience and had previously agreed to be used as leverage. I mentioned that they may see dad and I as huge villains for deceiving everybody about that fact that I didn't have a penis in between my legs, but that he was bringing new jobs to the town and they were most likely going to attract people from outside of town as well. Who knew, they might even come with families and daughters. What were they going to do then? Move to East Pembroke so that their kids could go to school there?
The way all their faces lit up as though a fire raged inside them told me that, even if I hadn't won the war yet, this battle was probably in the bag. Having been in the Bears, I knew that that was exactly the kind of button to push.
They decided to make a referendum for the town. It didn't guarantee that the motion would pass, after all, there were a lot of backwards people in Silver Grove, but if a campaign was properly organized to promote the yes vote, there was a good chance.
Too bad I wouldn't be here to help with the efforts.
The biting cold hit me outside like a punch to the gonads, and that was all it took for my eyes to start tearing up. Dad noticed this as we carefully descended the stairs leading down to the curb, where he had parked his car. He held me gingerly against him all the way until he put me in the car.
I was sniffling like a baby once he sat in the driver's seat.
"Why are you crying, chiquita?" he asked and started the car, cranking up the heat until I sighed. "You just did a good thing."
"At great cost," I said. I wiped my face with the back of my coat's sleeve and leaned back. "A selfish part of me wishes I wouldn't have been found out. Then I'd be able to stay here and keep hanging out with my friends."
He shifted around towards me. "Do you want to stay here?"
I looked down at my good hand on my lap. My other arm was in a sling and I was heavily bandaged, and the combination of that plus the pain meant I had very low mobility. I'd been relegated to requiring help from somebody for the most basic things. It forced me to slow down and be mindful of others. I couldn't just think about myself when dad was working, trying to save the company and this town, and I needed his help to wash my hair.
Slowing down my body had made my mind speed up as a result. What it had been telling me was that it was ironic that I hadn't wanted to come to this town at all from the start, but now I was having a hard time reconciling the fact that soon I was going to leave.
"Can I?" I asked, hopeful even though I already knew the answer.
He started to drive, heading back to Main Street. Only the sound of the hot air rushing through the vents was heard for a couple of minutes. Then he sighed.
"I might have considered it before, but now that you have this, um, injury..." He shook his head. "I need to be with you. And I also need to be at HQ." He gave me a glance as he pulled to a stop at an intersection. "Lo siento, chiquita."
I bit my lower lip so as to not cry out in protest. I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't be alone if I moved in with someone here, that we could pay for my food and board. Maybe Lena Lee's mother could take me. But I also knew the answer to that. We wouldn't impose ourselves on others. And it really was better for my recovery if dad and Miguel split up between taking me to doctors and physiotherapy.
Dean and I were not even officially an item, and I was already going to have to break things off with him.
The drive was short, and dad pulled up in front of the town's ice rink. He helped me out of the car, even though I was fine at least doing that much by myself. I thanked him anyway.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to the game?" I asked him one last time. He shook his head.
"I have to go to work, but text me when you want me to pick you up, okay? I don't want you walking home by yourself."
"I can walk back with the guys," I said. "In fact, I'd rather spend some more time with them if I can."
Dad was about to say no, but he thought better of it and just sighed. He kissed my forehead and said, "Fine, but at least text me when you're leaving for home."
"Okay."
He waved me off as I entered the arena. The place was sure to be packed, and since the hearing at the council had gone on for longer than expected I was late and the first period had already started. I was sure to have to stand the whole rest of the game, but I wondered if they'd let me just sit on the stairs to watch.
As soon as I entered a wave of noise hit me. It was very different to see it from the sidelines, instead of being in the action. Down there, it was hard to tell what people were screaming, or even if they were, sometimes. The blood pumping in my ears did funny things to my perception. It almost felt like it was just us, the players, duking it out by ourselves. It was jarring to see the difference now.
Then again, the level of excitement was also different. Down there I worried about screwing up and not doing a good enough job. Up here I worried about how the guys were doing and that they didn't get injured.
I grabbed the handrail and descended all the way down the stairs to where the best seats where and sat down on the stairs, just behind the Bears bench. I didn't call any attention to myself and just watched. Right now we were 0-0, but I could tell that our guys were dominating slightly. They kept control of the puck for longer, and the problem seemed to be that the opponents' defense was pretty damn solid.
When the first period ended and the guys huddled in the bench to recharge and strategize was when one of them noticed me.
"Charlie?" It was Shane, who quickly nudged the others.
One by one they turned to face me and then they started screaming. As if there was a whole other game going on in the bench and someone had just scored. Except the ruckus was directed at me.
"Well, if it ain't our hero," one of them said.
"Did you succeed in getting us girls in school?" Hunter asked and I rolled my eyes.
"I thought you only wanted Lena Lee," I said. "And how's that going for you?"
He grinned. "We have a date this weekend, but it'd still be cool if I could see her everyday in school, you know?"
Dean elbowed his way clear from the back and leaned one arm against the glass pane that separated us. He looked me up and down and I swear, his gaze alone filled me with warmth.
"Hi," I said, trying to keep it cool anyway.
His smirk told me he read right through me.
"Can you hang around after the game?" he asked. "We need to talk."
I nodded. "We do."
It wasn't that he didn't know I was leaving. He was the first person I'd told as soon as I'd found out, and for the past week that had pretty much been all we could talk about. But I had a feeling that was still going to be tonight's topic.
"Alright, team," Coach Martel said with his infamous clap. "Since Carlota is here, we have to give the very best performance we can."
A round of affirmations greeted that comment.
"Can we promise her that we'll win this game tonight?"
"Better yet," Dean said, cutting in as he turned and gave his back to me. "Let's promise her we'll get the province cup."
"Yeah!"
Pace sent me a smile. "We do have space for it next to your honorary Bears plaque, after all."
They did good on their promise. At the end of the night, the Bears won 2-1. It had been an exciting game that I'd have loved to be a part of. I'd have loved to see the whole tournament through, win province and make it through to Nationals. But that couldn't happen any longer.
I'd got myself in a funky mood by the time Dean was showered and met me at the front of the school. He took one look at my undoubtedly scrunched up face and assumed something different.
"Did you wait long? Are you cold?" His eyes widened and he asked me, "Are you in pain?"
"My heart's in pain," I admitted.
Dean froze.
"Not literal pain," I clarified. "Emotional pain."
He sighed and his breath came in a cloud of smoke that surrounded his face.
I remembered that dad was waiting for me, so I pulled my phone out to text him that Dean was walking me back. I put it back in my pocket, and Dean replaced it in my hand with his.
"What are we going to do?" I asked him for the billionth time, especially considering that my departure was imminent.
"Well," he started as we walked in the cold, dark night together. "We're going to keep fighting. We'll get you that cup and meanwhile you and I are going to need some heavy data plans because we'll be FaceTiming a lot."
I swung his hand. "But is that going to be enough?"
He gave me a look as if to say, are you kidding me?
What came out of his mouth instead was a snort. "Fuck no. I'm going to die of wanting."
That made me smile a little, but I still voiced my biggest concern.
"Long distance relationships are hard."
"Yes." He shrugged. "But if you really want the other person in your life you make it work, right?"
I looked up at him in a way that forced him to stop. He did and faced me.
I asked, "Do you want me enough?"
Without breaking the link of our hands, he stepped closer until he could lean his forehead against mine.
"I want you enough to promise you the province championship." A smile formed on his lips as I glared, but then he added, "I want you enough that I promise you my heart, too."
That pierced right through mine. I closed my eyes and even though my shoulder hurt so flipping much, I burrowed into his arms as close as the sling allowed me.
I wanted to believe that we would be fine. That we could work this out despite all the miles and hours between us. I would fight for it.
what are your feels? is Darlie gonna make it??
stay tuned for the epilogue