Over the next couple of weeks, we went on a few more dates. We went to more places that Joe had picked out, and they were all like the Italian place. Small, family-owned, and wonderful. We talked to each other about anything and everything. From strange childhood memories to weird dates to even sad times in our lives. Joe mentioned to me that his dad was sick. He had some sort of cancer that was incurable. When he had brought it up, I could see tears welling up in his eyes. I had grabbed his hands and rubbed the backs of them with my thumbs. I spoke encouraging words to hopefully soothe him until he had calmed down enough.
He didn't tell me much else about his family. Well, nothing that had happened recently at least. His dad's sickness was too fresh in his mind. I didn't ask him about it anymore, I didn't like seeing him sad. It broke my heart.
But nonetheless, it meant a lot to me that he had trusted me with that information. In those couple of weeks, we talked on the phone a lot. He liked to FaceTime me, he had said that 'he didn't want to hear my voice without seeing my beautiful face'. We would talk for hours on the phone, just telling each other about our days. I would tell him about some new songs I was recording and he would tell me about his new Queen discoveries and new songs he learned to play on his new bass. We talked about anything.
We had gone out on a couple more dates, about once a week. We had wanted to see each other more, but going out every day we wanted to see each other seemed impractical. While we were FaceTiming one day, he asked me on a date again.
"Jules, do you want to go out on Friday?" He had started calling me Jules or Jule on our second date. He liked it better. I didn't mind, I actually liked the nicknames.
"Let me see if my schedule is clear," I said in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "You know, there are lots of boys who want to go out with 'this'," I moved the phone so it showed my whole body. I was wearing a hoodie and some sweatpants, but Joe didn't seem to mind.
"Well, then you should know that there are lots of girls lining up to get with Tim from Jurassic Park." I laughed as he mimicked me with the phone showing his whole body. He was lying on his couch. I could see that he had a Yankees T-Shirt and some flannel-print fleece pants. It made me smile to know that we both liked wearing super comfy clothes when we weren't doing anything. I laughed.
"Of course, I want to go out. Also, that movie was like 20 years ago, no one even knows who you are," I loved being sarcastic with him because I knew he could take it and even give it back.
"Hey! I am respected in my craft!" He sat up in his couch, clearly shocked that I would say anything like that.
"Correction, you WERE respected in your craft." He gritted his teeth and shook his head at me.
"If you were here right now, urgh," He spoke through his gritted teeth.
"You would what?" I smiled at the camera, egging him on.
"I would tackle you onto this couch and kiss you so hard to make you pay for that." We both smiled at the thought of being together again. Our dates had ended with some heavy make-out sessions in his car. The farthest we had gone was his hand riding up my leg, pulling my dress up with it. I had stopped his hand before it went any further.
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"Sorry," I said as I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from my thigh. I looked up at him. We were both breathing hard. Steam had started to form on the windows. "I..."
"No, it's ok. It's fine. We don't need to do that yet." He pulled his hand away from mine and planted it on the back of my head, kissing me just as hard as before. My glasses kept getting in the way, so I had just pushed them on top of my head being careful to not have him see me without them on. It was just another thing I was self-conscious about.
His nose pressing into my cheek as I felt his breath on my face all gave me tingles. But, I couldn't escape the urge to explain myself to him. I pulled away from the kiss suddenly. He gave me puppy dog eyes and he wanted me back. The feeling of my lips on his and our warmth intertwined. I gave him another quick peck before pulling away completely. The puppy dog eyes were just too much to resist.
"I'm sorry I pulled your hand away. I just wanted to move a little slow." I was looking away from him. Something about looking him in the eye was shameful, but I didn't know why.
"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I should have asked." He looked me in the eye as he talked saying, 'I respect you too much to make you do something you don't want to do'. I nervously laughed.
"I really want to go there with you, but just not right now. I'm not ready yet." I spoke softly like he was just pulling the truth out of me.
"You don't need to be. It's ok." I looked at him again as he gave me a reassuring smile. I put my hand on the back of his neck and we started kissing again. We stayed like that for the next 15 minutes.
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"I'll see you Friday then?" I nodded excitedly and we said our goodbyes. I kept playing the fake scenario in my head over and over. Joe tackling me to the couch and kissing me all over as hard as he could, trying to make me pay for what I had said. I got goosebumps thinking about it. I wanted him badly. Kissing him wasn't enough anymore. We had been on four dates, and I was ready. I was sure. He really cared about me and I knew that now. I didn't want to move fast just because guys would leave me so quickly after we had slept together, that I just wanted this to last.
If Joe was going to leave me after we slept together, then I wanted to be with him just a little longer before he left. I wanted to have more make-out sessions in his car like teenagers hiding from our parents, but I wanted more now. I liked him too much now. I wanted to show him how much I liked him. Maybe Friday's date is the day to do just that.