[Written October 9-11, 2018]
A/N: My sympathetic!deceit hc name is Seth!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort; Loceit
Prompt: Hayride
Word count: 2417
Tws: Eczema!Deceit, explicit descriptions of eczema/his skin condition, harassment/bullying, censored trans slur, self alienation. Oh and also Seth scratches a lot so like if you've got eczema just a heads up [Happy ending]
The five of them had been planning it pretty much since they met.
Seth came along last, after their Halloween plans were already solidified. As he was told it, Patton and Virgil had been together since Sophomore year of high school. When Virgil found out his roommate was a flamboyant asshole, Patton had to frequently break up arguments. Sometimes Virgil and Roman would fight on purpose, because their arguments were never serious and it was funny watching Patton freaking out over their playful insults.
Early in September, Virgil and Logan ran into each other. Logan worked at the campus's library and Virgil had gone to pick up some books for an assignment, only to knock over a whole stack of books Logan had just organized. Virgil damn near burst into tears as Logan scrambled to clean it up, promising Virgil that it was fine and dear God don't cry I wouldn't even know how to handle it.
Virgil stuck around to help Logan reorganize them and then put them away as an apology. When Patton came around a few hours later to check on Virgil, only to find the two of them working on their homework in silent companionship, Patton immediately adopted Logan into their group.
It was early in October when Logan met Seth. Their professor had them all change seats, and they bonded quietly over their hatred for that teacher and cynicism of everything around them.
In just a few days, Seth went from being on his own, like always, to having people to sit with and talk to every day. He wouldn't really call them friends- He knew a lot about them, sure, but they were usually too caught up in themselves to learn anything about him -but it was still a welcome change from spending all his time alone in class or alone in his dorm.
Just a week before Halloween, they all suddenly remembered their new addition to the group, and invited him to join. He panicked a little bit and was both afraid of being rude and being questioned, so he just said yes. And now, Halloween day, he still hadn't worked up the courage to tell them he couldn't go.
They had planned back in September to go to a haunted hayride as a group. Since the first day of school, Seth wore a full face of makeup to hide eczema. Aside from occasionally catching Logan watching him scratch, or asking about scabs, it worked. There was no way for them to know he couldn't go.
He could just tell them, instead of thinking up all the excuses he could possibly give them, but... He didn't want to be harassed again. There was really no winning with him- If he wore makeup to hide it, he got called a tr*nny. If he didn't, he was called disgusting, a reptile.
One time, someone asked if it hurts when his scales shed. He didn't answer them, but he sort of wish he did. He knew it wouldn't get him anywhere, but he just wanted to yell about how yes, it did hurt. His skin was drying out and cracking apart and falling off his body layer by layer. He looked like a goddamn zombie half the time. He could take his makeup off and pretend it was his Halloween costume. It hurt like hell, and then there were assholes like that who couldn't keep their mouths shut.
Being with the others was the first and only time he didn't have to worry about that. As long as he kept his makeup on, he could just be comfortable. He was terrified of losing that.
Seth was sitting in the commons of Roman, Virgil, and Patton's dorm building with the others, uncharacteristically quiet. Usually he would be mock fighting with Virgil, or talking about clothes and makeup with Roman. Instead, he was tense, scratching at the inside of his wrist and listening to them talk.
Eventually, Patton jumped up, and excitedly said, "We should get going if we don't wanna be late!"
Everyone started getting up, startling when Seth jumped up and yelled, "Uh- Wait!" He hesitated. "Are you- Are you sure we'll all fit in Roman's car? It's pretty small..."
Roman pouted. "Are you making fun of my car?!"
"No-"
"Well, Verge drives, too!" Patton said. "We can just go in two cars."
"I don't really think..."
"Do you not want to go?" Logan asked curiously.
His nails dug into his wrist as he scratched, looking away. "Uh... It's not- It's not that I don't want to..."
"I don't want to go if you don't!" Patton whined, looking sad.
His eyes widened. "No, no, no, you should go!"
"But I don't get it," Virgil crossed his arms over his chest, frowning, "why can't you come?"
Seth bit his lip and looked away. He was hoping he could do this subtly, but that clearly wasn't happening.
"I can stay with him," Logan said, stepping to his side.
"What-"
"I've got an early lecture anyway." He shrugged. "I'd rather stay behind."
Roman looked between them nervously. "Are... Are you sure?" His eyes lingered on Logan's a bit longer; Logan just nodded.
"I'm sure," Seth mumbled.
"We're good." Logan offered Seth an awkward not-quite-smile, and looked back to the others. "Go, don't be late."
They all lingered for a moment, until Logan made a shooing motion, and they reluctantly left. Seth hesitated. He knew Logan liked to be left alone most times, and he should probably just go back to his dorm alone, but felt entitled to stick around him, since Logan stayed behind for him anyway.
Logan looked at him. "Do you want to go back to my dorm?"
Seth shrugged and nodded. He pulled the sleeve of his green sweatshirt down to cover his wrist, just his thin fingertips poking out.
"Do you not like scary things?" Logan asked as he unlocked the door.
"No, that's not it," he mumbled.
Logan kicked the door closed and dropped his keys on his dresser. "Is it-"
"I don't want to talk about it." Seth's face heated up, but he knew Logan- He knew he would keep asking and asking and asking until he either got his answer or was told to stop.
He blushed, pushing his bangs out of his face. "Oh. My bad. Um-"
"It's fine." He awkwardly sat at the edge of one of the beds. Logan sat on the other. They sat in thick silence for a while, before Seth finally said, quietly, "You shouldn't have stayed behind. You should catch up to them."
Logan chuckled. "What, and leave you in my dorm?"
He sighed. "No, dumbass, I'd go back to mine."
"That's stupid." Logan waved his hand dismissively and reached for the remote on his bed. "We've been planning to spend tonight as a group for an entire month. You're not just going to sit alone because you've changed your mind."
"I- I didn't change my mind." He scratched into the back of his head, feeling uncomfortable and guilty and sad.
Logan watched him and Seth could practically see the light bulb going off. Seth wanted to stop him from acknowledging it, but Logan was faster. "OH! It has something to do with your skin condition, doesn't it?"
Seth couldn't really do much but blink at him for a minute. He said skin condition- Skin condition, as if it was something normal. He mentioned it like he mentioned Virgil being vegan, or Roman's depression.
Logan scrambled over to sit next to Seth, sitting on his knees and leaning over slightly, and, dear God, he actually looked interested. "Can I ask what it is?"
Seth blinked, and then said, his voice cracking, "Eczema."
"I haven't heard of that one." He actually looked embarrassed. "What makes it flare up?"
"Uh..." Logan was looking at him so closely, maintaining intense eye contact- It made it hard to think. He had dark, dark blue eyes- The first time Seth met him, he thought they were black. He was so close now though that even in the shitty dorm lighting, he could see the colour clearly. "A-Anything really. But hay is like..." He swallowed. "Really... Really bad."
Logan's eyes scanned over his face, and how he was still digging into his scalp. Logan reached around and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from his head. "I don't understand, why wouldn't you tell us?"
Seth looked at him nervously. Logan's hand was cold against his, and Seth felt... Guilty. The rough brown skin on his hand was interrupted with little pockets of white or yellow pus, and the occasional deep split. He knew he should pull away but, well, no one had held his hand in years.
"I didn't think..." Seth looked away. The eye contact was too intense, he couldn't think. "I don't know, I didn't think it was a big deal." That was a lie. But what the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry, I didn't think any of you would give a shit. In fact, I expected you all to hate me the second you found out, and I wasn't really ready to lose my only friends. Anyway, let's watch a movie.
Logan's fingers hesitantly slipped through his. "Seth, I know you feel... Uh... Alienated, maybe. But. But none of us want you to get hurt. Next time we plan something you can't do, you should let us know."
Seth hesitated, and nodded, but he knew he wouldn't. At least... Not immediately. There was no way to know if Logan was telling the truth or not, and, besides, Logan's opinion was not indicative of the others.
Roman, specifically. Roman was the loudest and probably the most judgemental of the group. He had a specific skin care routine he was married to, and Seth can imagine telling Roman about his eczema only to be attacked for whining for attention just because he 'didn't take care of his skin.' He could imagine Roman telling him all he needed to do was use this specific lotion and eat these specific foods and his 'bad skin' will 'clear up.' As if it was fucking acne, or a rash.
Logan watched his expression carefully, and frowned. He thought for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing. "Or... If you're more comfortable... You can tell me how it works, and I can make sure this doesn't happen again."
Seth's face turned deep red. "You- You don't have to do that-"
"If you won't do it yourself, then I want to. I'd... I'd want to do it anyway," he admitted, blushing as well.
Seth looked between Logan's blush and they're hands, and the thought that Logan might like him snapped into his brain for just a second before Seth dismissed it. Stupid.
"I guess I wouldn't mind talking about it," he mumbled.
Logan backed up so Seth could straighten up, pulling his hand free. He hesitated. "I- I can take off my makeup, if you want."
"You don't have to do that. You have it on your arms, too, right?"
Seth shrugged one shoulder. "Well, uh, I have it everywhere, actually."
Logan looks at him in surprise. "Everywhere?"
"Yeah." He blushed. "But it's worse on my face and arms." His heart raced as he gripped the hem of his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. He thought about backing out, giving up- And held his arm out.
With most people, Seth would explain it as simply as he could and get it out of the way. But he knew Logan loved to learn, and he hadn't made fun of him yet, so he figured he at least owed him that.
"So it's basically... Like..." Seth's voice trembled as Logan examined the cracked, scarlet skin. "There's like these oils and shit that my skin can't produce, so it's... Uh... It's- It's dead, really. And it itches like hell, and it hurts."
Logan ran his fingers along the dry skin closer to his wrist. "What triggers it?"
"Uh, anything. Weather, stress, showering, certain materials Sometimes it just loses its shit for no reason."
Logan pulled his hand away. "Does it hurt when I touch it?"
"Sometimes," he mumbled. "Not right now, though."
He went to put his hand back, and paused. "Can I?"
Seth smiled a little. "Yeah." Logan felt the bumps and scabs, and stopped to cup his hand again. Seth blushed. "You don't have to do that. I know it's gross. You don't have to pretend it's not."
Logan frowned, thinking as he spoke. "It's not... I've never seen it before, but... I really don't think it's gross. At all, actually. And it doesn't change- It... I still..." He looked away, frustrated. "You're... Funny. And really smart, and interesting. And- And your, um, clothes and makeup, they're-"
His face was scarlet red by now, and he buried it in his hands.
Seth smiled and blushed as he said, "I like you a lot."
"I like you, too."
Logan peeked at him through his fingers. "I- I think you're... Great. Amazing. And- And you're cute. Really cute. Your skin doesn't change that."
"You'll probably change your mind when it gets bad again," he mumbled.
He dropped his hands. "I won't," he insisted, meeting his eyes. "But... If the only thing that'll prove that is patience, or- or time, then I can do that."
Seth knew he should have said something, thanked him maybe, but was embarrassed and happy and just leaned forward to kiss Logan's cheek. He didn't think Logan's face could get any redder.
"Do you want to lay down?" He asked. "You look exhausted- You can spend the night if you want."
Seth hesitated. "Okay. Sure."
Seth got up to go wash his makeup off while Logan set up a movie, and they squished into the tiny dorm bed. Seth's heart pounded as Logan wrapped an arm around Seth's shoulders, and Seth rested his head on his chest.
"Tomorrow," Logan mumbled, "we should talk to the others about doing another thing as a group. Something we can all do."
"Yeah... Okay..." Seth wrapped an arm around his waist, burying his face in his shirt. "Thank you."
Seth relaxed as Logan ran his fingers through his hair. They'd have to have a real conversation about their relationship, and Seth decided that he was going to tell the others why he couldn't go, but he could barely think about that right now. He was in Logan's arms, and he fell asleep quickly.