Life always throws unexpected surprises at you, whether they are good or bad. It seems to be having a jolly old time chucking a whole box of bombshells at me at the moment. Anyway, it has been a week and the dust is finally settling. Not a lot has happened, and the whole pack has been laying on the down low. It has taken some time for them to lick the salt out of their wounds and get over Jacinda's betrayal. Lycan's are familial and proud creatures, and the thought of someone backstabbing them has had each of their Lycan's on edge, hungry for revenge. I have had many questions about my mother, which I have happily answered, but I can tell everyone is still in shock. I haven't let the cat out of the bag that I will turn into a Lycan when mated with one yet... I don't want to make Alex uncomfortable, or him to think I'm using him just to become his mate and queen. Everyone was a bit wary around me for the first few days, but I think they soon realised I'm still the same old Phoebe; just the Goddess they look up to is my mother.
Alex, Lucian and Ana had a meeting with the counsel, consisting of the most powerful Alpha's in the werewolf world, to tell them about Jacinda's deceit. A clean-up crew arrived an hour after the incident, turning the woods back to normal without a trace of the tragedy that played out just hours before. There have been no rogue sightings or any trouble lately, which is all a bit odd and eerie, but Alex speculates that they are regrouping and planning a counter attack, as they suffered heavy losses. The situation is being investigated, as well as Jacinda's family in case they were involved. There is also going to be a big crackdown on the black market, making sure that unauthorised weapons are not getting into the wrong hands, such as hunters and rogues. I wasn't invited into the meeting, but Alex told me about everything afterwards, when I was curled into his chest. He has been telling me a lot of things lately, pouring his heart out to me about his childhood, his fears and dreams. With each story, I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper for him. I can tell how upset he is that he didn't sense Jacinda's betrayal, and holds himself accountable for the injuries everyone got that night. I have done my best to console him, but the only time he seems at peace is when his nose is pressed into my neck, inhaling my scent.
Whatever I'm feeling for Alex is definitely getting worse. He brings the worst out of me in the best way possible. He has allowed me to go back to school, but only on the basis that he is to stick to my side every freaking minute of the day. Seriously, if I even take a step away from him without letting him know, he turns into a major dickward, coming at me with fire spitting out of his ears, trying to look menacing, but to me it just makes him look even hotter. There's just something about moody boys. And in class, he sits there, simply staring at me, with a lock of hair dangling in front of his eyes in which I have the insatiable urge to swipe out of the way. All the hairs at the back of my neck stand on edge with his heavy gaze on me, sending tingles of excitement down my spine, annoyingly distracting me from the teacher.
My exams are starting in a couple of weeks, and I am majorly stressed, but surprisingly Alex has been there to calm my last two brain cells at 2 am when they cannot grasp the concept of Quantum Physics. There has definitely been a shift in the relationship between Alex and me. I feel as though our very souls are tangled at this point. He is so in tune to my emotions, knowing what I need without having to ask me, that it is impossible for me not to fall deeper for him everyday. He is even sleeping outside my door every night, to reinforce his vow of protecting me. I asked him if he wanted to sleep in my room, but he refused saying he wouldn't be able to control himself. I got wet at the very thought. Of course, I want to take every step with Alex, but he is right about waiting. Relationships based on sex almost never work. Alex never stops teasing me though, pulling me in for intense secret make out sessions, then torturing the both of us when he pulls away. I have never thought myself to be needy before, but with Alex involved I want him all the time and it is literally painful when he's not with me. I'm blaming his stupid kisses, muddling with my brain making me thinking I need them to survive. The scary thing is I feel ready to devote my all to him, but I'm not sure if he feels the same way. He certainly hasn't been with any other female these past months, but that doesn't mean that he wants me to be his mate.
We definitely act like mates... we are always together, we always find some way to touch each other, and sometimes I feel like I can sense his emotions when he's near me without even having to look. It is as if he is actually here in my heart. I am also incredibly possessive over him. Yesterday a crowd of girls surrounded him, flirting with him, shoving their tits in his face and twirling their hair in what I suppose is a seductive manner. I wanted to rip them apart for daring to touch what's mine, before Alex did it for me, stepping away from them and tugging me into his chest, kissing me with wanton abandonment, claiming me as his and he as mine in front of the whole school. It's safe to say the girls were shocked, and a harsh growl from me scared the ballsy ones off, who thought they could maybe still get with Alex. I know it's not entirely Alex's fault that he was born with such a God-like body, and panty-dropping smirk, but he could at least try to be less hot in front of other girls!
Damn, thinking about all of the girls that have had pleasure from and given pleasure to Alex in the past makes my blood boil at an alarming rate. His man whore ways are a very touchy subject, which I choose not to discuss for safety reasons. If I think about it too much I start to see the positive in scouring the town, killing everyone who ever even dared to lay a hand on my Alex. But of course, he is not officially mine... not yet. Our relationship is simply undisclosed.
Sighing I try to forget the unsatisfactory thoughts, but it proves impossible, as I find myself unable to study with my mind fogged with thoughts about Alex. I am so pathetic! What is wrong with me? Growling I throw the textbook into the wall, before collapsing onto the bed. Almost immediately, there is a knock at the door - Alex. The air instantly becomes more charged. He comes in straight away, dressed in a mouth-watering tight white tee matched with black jeans and a brown jacket. His well defined abs are stretching through the t-shirt, and I take a moment to wonder what it would be like to run my tongue along those delicious muscles, before I snap my eyes back up to his face. Concentrate Phoebe! You see, this is what happens when you are teased for a week and are too scared to deal with the itch yourself.
"Are you still stressing?" He asks, his deep manly voice sending chills running through me, straight to my core.
"I'm just... distracted." I sigh.
"Hmm. I think it would do you good to get out the house. Do you want to go out for lunch with me?" He asks after a moment deep in thought.
Of course I would love to... but I have so much work to do I'm not sure I should. Besides, with my insatiable horniness it would be complete torture to be so close to Alex, but unable to actually touch him. He is still set firm in his ways about not touching me, unfortunately.
"Sorry Alex, but I have so much to do, I can't justify going out today." I tell him, smiling slightly.
Alex simply blinks, before he moves towards me with the grace of a predator, and chucks me over his shoulder. Flipping hell, you think I would be used to it by now, but I really am not.
"Alex! What are you doing? Are you deaf? You cracked egg, put me down right now!" I protest against him, as he marches through the house and to his car, with a tight grip on my bum.
"You're coming to lunch with me." Alex murmurs, as if it is the most obvious thing.
"But I told you I couldn't!" I exclaim, flabbergasted.
"Well, you lied to me. I know you want to come out with me so I made the decision for you." He smirks.
"Well... fine!" I snap, complaining, but secretly I am very glad he has forced me to come with him.
We drive out of Lupine Peak, and into the next town, called Racer's Belt. I have never been there before, and I am surprised to see that it looks just like home, except more commercial and much larger, like a proper town instead of a beautiful secret hidden in the mountains. I even saw a MacDonald's back in the busy part of town! There is also a beautiful lake where Alex is pulling me towards now. The lake lays as flat as any mirror, without a ripple in the silver-blue water as if time itself has been frozen. From the tall pines around the edge come not a sound, no movement of branches, no birds calling. There are a few people milling around, mostly dog walkers and hikers, but apart from that, it is very tranquil.
Alex picked us up a MacDonald's on the way through, and I am itching to dig into my 20 chicken nuggets, large fries and chocolate milkshake. Damn, I may be small(ish), but I could eat for four people easily. My feelings for Alex have skyrocketed since he brought me food; any boy that gets you food is a keeper for sure. Alex spreads a large turquoise blanket onto the ground, before laying the food out presentably, like a gentleman, which makes my heart flutter. Could he be anymore perfect? I am so pleased he forced me to come out here with him. Sighing, I dig into the fatty goodness of the chicken nuggets, letting out a loud moan as I do so. My eyes flutter open to see Alex tensely staring at me, eyes focused on my lips. He looks like he wants to ravage me, and I hold in a groan at the thought. Damn... I wouldn't be opposed to that.
But it's not just Alex's body I want. It is everything. I love the way he takes the burden on his shoulders, not wanting to worry anyone else. I love the way he is so thoughtful and understanding with me. I love the way he acts with children. I love the way cares for all those around him. I love the way he has saved me on numerous occasions, becoming my knight in shining armour. I love... I love... I love him.
I am in love with him.
He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. He is my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and I so desperately need that in my life. I love him so much for that. I am in love with him and I can't believe I've only just realised it. The realisation has hit me like a bullet to the chest. But instead of pain, I feel happiness, warmth blooming through my body. I'm in love! I'm in love with Alex! Oh my god... how did this happen? Well, he is basically perfect, apart from his annoying and brash ways; how could I not fall for him?
When he looks at me, it is as if every ounce of breath is taken from my lungs floating into the air like midnight smoke. Every time he kisses me it feels like the world has stopped, leaving just the two of us to wander the earth together. Every time he holds my face between his hands, it feels like he is untying all of my knots, holding me for eternity in the arms I've grown so accustomed too. How could I live without him? It's strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn't imagine being without them now. This feeling is strange, overwhelming perhaps, but it also makes me feel complete.
Shyly glancing up at him, I am almost embarrassed to be around him now that I know I am in love with him. The feeling is incredible, making me feel free like a bird, but I cannot help but feel doubt... what if he doesn't love me back? What about his erasthai? Oh my goddess... I've fallen in too deep. I shouldn't have fallen in love with him... it was an immature thing to do. Stupid, naïve Phoebe.
"Hey what's wrong?" Alex asks me softly, cupping my cheeks. More tears spring to my eyes, as he once again gives me a reason to love him, showing how well he knows me.
"Nothing." I sniffle, but he is pinpointing me with his eyes.
"Please tell me Phoebe." He whispers softly.
"I... I can't! It will... it will ruin everything." I hiccup, getting increasingly upset.
"You could never ruin us Phoebe. Please, tell me what's wrong... I'll do my best to fix it." He implores, begging me with his eyes.
"Well... What's wrong is I'm, I'm in love with you Alex." I admit, staring straight into his eyes, watching closely for his reaction.
There is no other way to describe his reaction apart from his whole face lights up, in a beaming, happy smile. His plump, very kissable lips curl up into his famous breath-taking grin, as his eyes shine joyously, appearing the colour of the vast stretching blue skies above, and crinkling at the edges. He's so beautiful and handsome. He looks... happy.
"Really? Oh Phoebe, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that." He chuckles, the sound reminding me of an excited child, before he pulls me onto his lap. "I lo-." He begins, causing my heart to beat anxiously.
Instantly I know something is wrong. His face falls like a cleaned slate, as he takes a deep inhale and his eyes snap to something behind me.
"Alex? You were saying?" I ask him, confused as to his sudden changed in attitude.
He doesn't even react though, acting as though he didn't hear me. With a frown, I turn around to see whatever it is he is so clearly focused on. My heart stops in my throat as I connect eyes with a... supermodel a few yards away. She is flawless... she has the perfect body with massive boobs, practically spilling out of her top, large green, doe eyes, and waves of cascading dyed blonde hair falling to her tiny waist. A simple skin-tight white crop top and short denim skirt show off her assets and legs that go on for days. She is the type of girl you start eating kale and working out for. A feeling of jealousy plants itself in my chest as I see Alex gaping at her, and her staring dreamily at him.
Why would he be staring at a girl when I just confessed my love for him and he was about to confess his love for me? But that's the thing... the Alex I know wouldn't do that. Not unless... no. I suck in a sharp breath as a jolt of pain echoes through my chest. Not now... not when we are so close to claiming one another! Nevertheless, I know it must be true. You can practically see their souls calling out for each other.
The call of longing for their erasthai's.
Gah, I'm so mean!!!
Any predictions as to what's going to happen???
Maddie xoxo
Edited