Charlene Whelan
We had driven for a good forty minutes, listening to old rock songs for most of the time. I had discovered that, at least in music, he had a pretty cool taste.
"I'm so fucking hungry, you have no idea..." he mumbles, while he tries to park his car. I chuckle at his impatience, realizing that it's one of his most dominant traits, from what I've seen and learned about him so far.
"What do you normally eat? Since you don't eat meat..." He asks, once we get out of the car. The restaurant is at the feet of a pretty high hill, it's very rustic and secluded. You wouldn't have seen it from the street if you didn't know it was there. I've never really imagined him as someone who would come to places like those. It's not really him, but maybe I just don't know him at all.
"Loads of vegetables..." I shrug my shoulders. "And carbs..." I add and let a chuckle escape my mouth.
"Makes two of us, then!" Harry slowly nods his head with a relaxed smile on his lips while we both walk into the restaurant. There's not a lot of people, so they're quick to take our orders. A steak for Harry and a salad for me.
"How did you find this place?" I ask him, as soon as the waiter leaves us alone. His expression quickly turns serious at my question and his eyes run away from mine for a second, showing discomfort or insecurity of some sort, as if his usual confidence is faltering.
"Long time ago..." he shrugs his shoulders. "Been coming here for a while now," He doesn't really answer my question but I don't answer a lot of his, so I can't really complain about it. "Why?" He wonders.
"Nothing, it's just cause..." I let out a chuckle, trying to find the best way to say what I'm trying to say. "I guess I would've never imagined you in here," I shrug my shoulders and he brings his eyes on me again, his eyebrows furrowed and he stares at me with more intensity now.
"You don't know me... you'd be surprised!" He just says and, once those words leave his mouth, the traits of his face soften again.
"You're right, I'm sorry..." I nod my head and quickly apologize. For once, he's right. I don't know him, I don't actually know the kind of person he is.
"Do you like it here?" He just asks, changing the subject.
"I do... I imagine myself in here just fine," I chuckle and he does too, keeping his green eyes on me.
"Maybe we aren't that different, after all..." he observes and I automatically let out an amused chuckle, trying to compare the both of us.
"I think we're completely different, actually..." I say. He stares at me with interest, trying to figure out what is going through my mind. He looks at me so intensely that I, sometimes, think he hopes he can read everything in me, by doing so. And by the way his green orbs burn on my skin I, sometimes, think he can too.
"Different how?" He wonders.
"Well, you're a watcher... that's what you do," I say. "And I barely realize what's going on around me, I'm always too busy moving around to do so."
"And that's because you don't want to or because you can't?" His question, initially surprises me. People normally don't take my words too seriously, but he had listened to me and had asked, for once, a smart question.
"Both, maybe..." I shrug my shoulders and I lower my stare, feeling all of sudden both intrigued and suffocated by the conversation.
"Do you think it's banal to say that I like to capture beauty?" He wonders, changing the subject again, perceiving my discomfort. I take a few seconds to think.
"No, I don't think so because there can be so many personal versions of what beauty is..." I tell him once I've reached a personal thought. I do think some of his photos can be considered banal but, for some reason, I don't think he is. I don't think his mind is, now.
"Yeah, but I think it can be... like in most of my photos," he bitterly chuckles, lowering his stare for a second. "You're different, though... I'd stare at you forever."
"Oh, I sure am..." I let out an embarrassed chuckle, my eyes running away from his now. I try to hard to ignore the warmness going straight to color my cheeks at his words, convincing myself that it was absolutely nothing, or maybe it's something he says to everyone.
"You're beautiful, don't have any doubt on that..." he quickly says, making my heart take a few jumps. I've never really felt exactly so, but maybe it's because I've never really paid attention either. He's looked at me plenty, instead, and I wonder if he really thinks so.
Before any of us can add anything at all, we're quickly interrupted by the waiter bringing our plates to the table. I'm not sure whatever I'm thankful or not.
As soon as we finish our lunch, Harry pays for both of us and we walk together out of the restaurant.
"We can leave here the car and walk up there," Harry quickly says, going straight toward the hiking path while, on the other hand, I'm definitely more hesitant.
"Wait, up there where?!" I look up at the hill, which seems definitely a lot to walk on, without an appropriate sport attire and a lot of water. Harry chuckles and then grabs my hand, dragging me with him.
"Don't worry, it's gonna be worthy!" Harry tells me with a big smile on his lips and, for once, I stop worrying and just let myself go.
While we start walking up the hill, the sun is quite hot and burning on our skin. Harry doesn't seem bothered by it at all, while I just feel like melting behind it. He looks beautiful, as flawless as usual, with his curls gently laying on his forehead and framing his face perfectly. I'd be scared to look at myself now and I'm actually sorry he'll have to photograph me like that.
"It's so hot, Harry..." I huff, drying up my sweaty forehead, while he just chuckles at me.
"But look at that..." he excitedly exclaims walking behind me and bringing his hand on my shoulders to guide me through a bush. We immediately stop in front of the most breathtaking view I've ever seen.
The clear sky of Los Angeles overviews the skyline of the whole city, like I've never really seen it before. I've never really explored around, since I moved, I never stopped and watched what was around me like he loves doing.
"Wow..." I just mumble, moving my eyes around the landscape.
"Right?!" He just says with a chuckle, obviously very proud of himself. I turn toward him just to find him staring back at me with a big grin on his lips. "I used to come here a lot and I wanted to include it in my photographs, somehow...."
"I look absolutely hideous, right now..." I quickly say, trying to order my hair that is probably going in all over directions on my head, right now. He just chuckles and starts taking his camera out.
"You look just fine..." he tells me with a light smile. I take a deep breath and I decide to give in. He's the photographer, after all, and I'm sure he wouldn't want me looking hideous in his photos, if it was the case.
"Stay there..." Harry tells me, making me stand right in front of the landscape, with my back facing it.
"Won't it be in backlight, like that?" I ask him, while he focuses on setting his camera. He slowly nods his head, without adding any further explanation, and he brings the camera to his face.
"What am I supposed to do?" I ask him, feeling pretty useless, considering I don't really know how to act in front of a camera.
"Just look back at me..." he says, taking a few pictures, one after the other. I look straight back at the camera lenses as he's asked me to do and he goes on and on taking pictures for a few minutes.
"I think I got it!" He says right after, looking back at the pictures he's just taken on his camera.
"I'm not sure whatever I want to see them or not..." I chuckle, taking a few steps toward him, unsure if I want to check them, like he's doing, or not.
"I think this is my favorite one," he tells me, showing me the screen of his camera with a smirk on his face. It's a close-up of my face, with a strong light coming from behind.
"I love it..." I genuinely tell him, smiling at him.
"Then this one it is!" He nods his head with a proud smile on his lips at my compliment.
"So we're done?" I ask him and he slowly nods his head again. "Good..." I let out a sigh of relief thinking about how early we finished and we both start walking together toward his car, without rushing this time. The sun is not as hot either and the chill wind is definitely more appreciated right now.
"What will you be doing for the rest of the day?" Harry asks me.
"I'll study..." I shrug my shoulders. "Until tonight, I have a catering job!" I tell him, definitely less excited at the idea. "I mean, as a waitress for this catering, of course!" I specify when I notice the confusion on his face.
"You never stop, do you?!" Harry chuckles, looking at me quite impressed, probably by my work ethic.
"I had accepted it a long time ago and I didn't feel like dropping out last minute..." I shrug my shoulders. "And I need money, always, so..." I let out an embarrassed chuckle in admitting it in front of him. I don't usually get to hang around, let alone talk, to people like him. I wonder if he even knows what it feels like to struggle to get at the end of the month.
"I admire you, honestly..." he tells me, taking me by surprise by the honesty in his eyes while he looks at me. "Sometimes I even turn down jobs because they're scheduled too early in the morning," he admits, shaking his head to himself. I can tell he's not proud of it and he's not trying to show off his privilege that allows him to turn down jobs for such a futile reason, I see it more life a confession he's doing to me.
"That's because you can..." I chuckle. "A few thousands more in your bank account obviously won't make such a bigger difference, at the end of the day, I guess."
"Who knew I would've gotten to the point to hate this job that much, right?!" He lowers his stare while we walk at a very relaxed pace. I can see the disappointment and nostalgia for what it used to be like, or what it used to feel like, all over his face.
"But you obviously once loved it..." I point out. "I don't think I've ever cared that much about anything enough to say that I was passionated about it," I realize out loud. I've never practiced any sports, or been good at one. I don't have any kind of talent, or particular interest... there's nothing I've ever really cared about.
"No way..." Harry shakes his head, stopping in the middle of his tracks and turning toward me. "There must be something you like... what's your favorite thing to do?" He insists. I think about his question for a while.
"I like reading..." I shrug my shoulders. My mind immediately brings me back to my happy place. At my happy childhood moments.
"Well, maybe then you'll write your own book one day!" Harry exclaims with enthusiasm, as if he's just figured my whole future out, trying to pull me away from the circle of nobodies we both know I'm destined to. I chuckle and just nod my head, avoiding to protest with him.
"For sure... to talk about my boring personality, with no passions or any slightly interesting thing!" I roll my eyes and start walking again with an amused grin on my lips. He follows me right behind and chuckles at my words.
"I think you're the most interesting person I've come in contact with in a long time..." he tells me. I bring my eyes on him and keep them there for a few seconds, trying to understand if he actually means it or if he's just trying to be nice.
"Maybe you're just used to hang around dicks and idiots..." I giggle and shrug my shoulders.
"Maybe..." he slowly nods his head and lets out a chuckle.
"I thought you were one at first too," I tell him. "You aren't that bad, after all, though..." I quickly admit, tearing a smile away from his lips.
"Maybe I am..." he shrugs his shoulders. "I can be, most of the time."
"But you can also be a decent person to be around, when you want to..." he slowly nods his head at my words and softly smiles, not looking too convinced at my words. Something tells me that he hasn't such a high opinion of himself. "And what will you do for the rest of the day?" I decide to ask him.
"Not sure..." he sighs and shrugs his shoulders. "I guess I'll work on the editing of the pictures."
"Sounds like fun..." I nod my head and he laughs at my words.
"You have no idea..."
Once we reach the car we both get inside and he starts driving back toward the city.
"Do you have any idea for tomorrow?" I ask him.
"Not really but I'll text you once I've figured it out..." I slowly nod my head and smile in his direction. Today has been a good day, after all. Maybe this month won't be as bad as I had imagined.
Harry Styles
Once I had brought her home and had found myself alone in the cubicle of my car I had felt the weight of the day coming for me once again. The first half of the day had been a breath of fresh air with her, I hadn't thought about anything else at all, but it had quickly come to an end and I had been left alone to deal with my thoughts once more.
As soon as I had arrived back home I had almost been tempted to deal and call that number. The number I still know by heart. I don't know what I would've said, but maybe it would've helped talking to the woman that, more than anyone, shares the same pain as me.
It would've probably helped her, but not me.
I had forced myself to work on the new pictures and seeing Charlene's face on the screen had calmed me down for a while.
I've always been very quick with editing and it hadn't lasted too long. I had glared at the clock just to see it telling me that it was still just 10PM. I had been quick to get changed and bring myself out of there, trying to find some peace of mind somewhere else.
I had received in the morning a text from Barbara, reminding me of the party at her house. At first, I was intended to not going, but as usual I had easily given in, once the sun had gone down.
When I arrive at the party I'm quickly greeted by the usual faces. No one I can really call a friend, or care about, so I just go straight toward the bar.
"You came!" I quickly recognize Barbara's voice behind me, as soon as I'm served my first drink of the night. I turn toward her, just in time to be welcomed between her arms.
"I could've never missed it!" I nod my head and she smiles at me.
"There's also this editor-in-chief of this new big French Magazine I had told you about and I want you to meet her..." she excitedly says. "She wants to put me on the cover of their issue of December and I can propose you as the photographer, what do you think?!" Her eyes practically sparkle with excitement, very differently from mine. Right now, I just want to finish my drink in peace.
"I'm not in the mood right now, she'd have a really bad impression, Barb..." I honestly say, quickly letting her down.
"No, she won't!" She doesn't give up and insists, rubbing my shoulder to give me some sort of encouragement. "It's an independent magazine, very similar to your old style of photography... that's why I thought you would've liked the idea," she explains with a hopeful smile on her lips. I automatically smile too, very pleased that she thought about me for this reason. Usually people don't take into consideration my old photographies. My heart also constricts at the thought of her taking me so much into consideration, because I usually never tend to, unless I have to satisfy my sexual needs.
"You're amazing, Barb!" I genuinely tell her, letting out a sigh. Her eyes immediately sparkle again and her lips curve into a smile. "I feel like I never really tell you..."
"I'm glad to help!" She tells me with her big smile. She grabs my arm and starts guiding me through the room, stopping only when we're standing in front of this elegant middle-aged woman.
"Corinne, this is the one and only I've talked you about... Harry Styles!" She tells her with a proud smile, introducing me to her.
"The one and only I've heard so much about, then?!" She says in a thick French accent, bringing her eyes on me. I stretch my hand toward her and she quickly shakes it. "Corinne Rolland, so nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you too, I'm Harry Styles!" I politely tell her.
"I know, I'm a big fan of your work..." she nods her head and smiles.
"Thank you, I'm very honored!" I smile. "I've also heard great things about your magazine..."
"I don't know if Barbara told you but she's going to be on the cover of our December issue and we haven't chosen a photographer yet..." she starts saying. I quickly blackout of the conversation as I recognize one of the persons behind her and Barbara. She moves around the room with her tray and her red ponytail moves in the air behind her. Her eyes look absent, bored, she feels and seems so out of place here. "So what do you say?" I quickly get back to reality as soon as Charlene disappears from my sight. I bring my eyes back on Corinne and can't help but look a little lost. "Would you be interested in talking about our offer in a calmer situation?" She repeats, when she understands I wasn't paying attention. I quickly nod my head and compose myself.
"Definitely!"
"Alright, then my agent will contact yours to make an appointment!" She tells me with a smile and I nod my head again.
"It has been a pleasure!" I say, stretching my hand toward her again. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." I say to both of them, fixing my jacket, once I've shaken Corinne's hand. Barbara furrows her eyebrows as she watches me walk away and disappear so suddenly in the crowd, but I quickly forget all about her as I start looking around the room, searching for Charlene.
I finally find her, once I reach the kitchen. She's busy filling up more glasses of champagne. She stays focused on her job and I automatically smile at the sight of it. Once she's done, she looks up at me as I lean against the counter and smiles. She doesn't look surprised, maybe she's noticed me way before I did. I wasn't expecting to see her here.
"Are you following me, or something?!" She jokes.
"Maybe..." I slowly nod my head and chuckle.
"I wasn't expecting to find you here," I say.
"Well, I can't say the same about you..." she playfully rolls her eyes. "This is exactly where I imagine you."
"Why? You think about me a lot?" I provoke her, with a playful smile on her lips and she rolls her eyes again.
"Don't fool yourself!" She quickly says, letting out a laugh. "Is she your girlfriend?" She asks me all of sudden, taking me by surprise. I take a while to understand who she's talking about.
"Barbara?" I wonder. "She's just a friend..." I shrug my shoulders and she slowly nods her head in understanding.
"Well, she's beautiful..." she lowers her stare and murmurs.
"I guess..." I shrug my shoulders. She looks up at me again and smiles.
"I should go back to work..." she just says, getting the tray from the table.
"Will you stay with me if I take all the glasses of champagne you have to serve?" I hopefully ask her. "I'm one of the guests to serve, after all!" She laughs and shakes her head at me.
"I don't want an alcohol poisoning on my hands," I chuckle and nod my head in understanding. Before I can add anything more, an older man with the same uniform as her walks into the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?!" He tells to Charlene. "You're supposed to serve those glasses, not waste your time in the kitchen!" He scolds her and lets out an exasperated sigh.
"It's my fault, I'm sorry..." I quickly say, before Charlene can open her mouth. "I was keeping her from working, she was just being polite to a guest as her job implies," at my words, the older man quickly seems to lose the attitude toward her and just lets her walk away to go back at her job.
"Oh well, I'm very sorry, sir..." he quickly apologizes. "Enjoy the rest of the night!" He tells me and I'm quickly out of the kitchen, back to try to find Charlene. Before I can, Barbara interrupts my way to her.
"Where were you?" She asks me. "There are more people I want to introduce you to!" She tells me, hoping to capture my attention, but it has been long gone since I've seen Charlene here.
"Not now, Barb!" I quickly say, removing her hand from my arm. "I'm not in the mood!" I let her there, still surprised by my actions, but I don't worry about it too much. As soon as I reach Charlene again she playfully rolls her eyes at me and tries to run away from me again, probably not wanting to get distracted again.
"Will you let me do my job?!" She whispers with a tight smile on her face, avoiding to look at me.
"I just want a glass of champagne, madame..." I chuckle and she sighs, moving her tray toward me to allow me to get my glass.
"Happy now?!" She smirks.
"Not quite..." I slowly shake my head as she rightfully ignores me and starts walking toward the other guests to serve them.
"Do you know how to get back home?" I ask her, once I manage to approach her again.
"I'll get a cab!" She shrugs her shoulders and tries to keep her eyes off of me and focused on the crowd.
"I'll give you a lift!" I quickly offer.
"I might finish very late in the morning..." she warns me, finally bringing her green eyes on me.
"And I'll be the last person here then..." I confidently tell her, tearing a smile away from her. Maybe I won't have to get drunk, after all.
"Are you sure she won't mind?" She asks me, hinting at Barbara across the room.
"We're just friends..." I insist again.
"Sure..." She sighs and rolls her eyes again.