Dear Mark Lee,
I can't believe the day has finally come.
You're really leaving.
It felt like just yesterday we were sharing sour gummy worms on your grandma's porch.
Or you teaching me how to play twinkle twinkle on your very first guitar.
Or falling asleep in church together every Sunday morning.
You've been in my life for so long, I've began to lose track of all our memories together.
Every Easter, Halloween and birthday we would spend with each other's families.
Even when we went through that awkward phase when we thought each other were gross and stopped talking from 1st to 3rd grade.
But ever since 4th grade you've stayed by my side and never left.
From my parents divorcing, or when Ten first left home to pursue dreams similar to yours.
And although this all seemed to happen so quickly, I always knew you were destined for great things.
You deserve every opportunity granted to you.
You're my star.
I'll love you forever and always.
Love,
Melanie
-
I sealed the envelope with a heart sticker and applied a light spritz of perfume onto the front of it.
Tonight was the night of Mark and Haechan's farewell party. I had so many mixed emotions, but I gathered my things and headed to the shower. I took my time making sure that I was in the right mindset before even trying to do anything else.
As I stood in the shower, I let the hot water wash away all of my worries.
The steam wrapped itself all around me, reminding me of Mark's presence. It was warm, light, invigorating. My heart began to hurt just thinking about being with him.
I exited the shower and headed back to my room. I blowed dried my hair and lathered my body in lotion. Lastly I applied my makeup with ease while still trying to take my time.
After about an hour I was finally ready and got dressed. My stomach was forming knots thinking about how much I was going to miss both of them.
I ordered my Uber and waited on the edge of my bed. While I waited I watched a few of my friends' Snapchat stories in order to pass time.
Once the Uber arrived, I headed outside and got in immediately. My driver's name was Barry, he was a small old man with huge glasses.
Very adorable.
"Good afternoon young lady, may I ask where you're heading to dressed up like that?"
I smiled at his kindness, "My best friend and boyfriend are moving out of the country, so my friends and I are throwing them a farewell party"
Barry smiled into the rear view mirror and
began to speak again, "Ah young love,"
He paused before beginning again, "I remember when I had to leave my girlfriend at the time for the war back in '75, it was heartbreaking"
"Did you come back to her?"
He began to chuckled, "Of course I did! I couldn't leave my love bug forever! I was honestly afraid that she was going to move on, but true love can wait"
"When I finally came back we got married, had a boy and a girl. I've been living a great life"
"Wow, that's amazing"
"And just to think I was only 21 when we got married, my wife 20"
"That almost seems idealistic in this generation", I scoffed
"Anything can happen when you really love someone"
I began to smile, he was so happy and you could still hear just how in love he is in his voice. In what seemed like no time, we appeared in front of Ten's apartment building.
"Thank you!"
"Good luck, and remember true love can wait a lifetime!"
-
As I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor, my hands became clammy and my breaths became uneven.
Once the doors separated I stepped into Ten's apartment and was automatically greeted by all of my friends. Champagne was being popped and toasts were in the air. Everyone was having a good time. I found Haechan first and hugged him with everything I had in me.
"I'm going to miss you lil bitch"
"I'm going to miss you more hoe",
I said trying to hold back tears.
Haechan and I began to take a few shots together until I set out to find Mark again. However I bumped into Jaemin as I made my way to the back.
"Sorry nana, have you seen Mark?"
"I can't say that I have, but can I talk to you for a sec?"
I was a little skeptical. I know Jaemin and I have a weird past, but we haven't really been close since this school year started, "Yea what's up?"
He took a deep breath, " I know I messed things up between us last school year, but I want you to know that I'll always be here for you no matter what. I care about you a lot lala-"
I could no longer focus on Nana's words because I finally spotted Mark across the room.
His black hair was slicked back as he adorned a white button up and a black jacket with a tie. He looked so charming. I began to walk in that direction, hugging him as soon as I was close enough. His arms snaked around my torso as we just enjoyed being with one another.
We snuck off into Ten's bedroom while the party continued. As soon as we locked the door we began to leave kisses along each other's neck and face until we both collided onto the bed.
Mark's arm stayed firm around my waist as his other hand caressed my face gently. I felt myself grow more impatient as I began to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. Yet he stopped me before I could go any further.
"Baby we're going to get caught,"
"So...?"
"Not in your brother's bed at least" Mark said
with a smile as he flicked my nose.
"Ugh you're right, fine"
And with that I fixed Mark's clothes and we just began to cuddle. While the music blasted from outside the bedroom, the only thing I could focus on was our heartbeats and how they seemed in sync. Moments like this I wanted to last forever and ever.
For a while we recited stories from our childhood to each other until we both fell asleep.
Shortly after we were both awoken by our legs being shaken vigorously, it was Ten.
"Why are you two hiding out in here!! There's a party being thrown for you right now! You should be enjoying yourself!"
"I am enjoying myself," Mark responded with a smirk, it made me smile on the inside as I stuck my tongue out at Ten.
This caused him to roll his eyes before he responded,
"I just want you guys to have fun, don't stay cooped up in here!"
"You sound like mom!" I yelled as Ten left.
We both got up and joined the party once again. Everyone seemed to be looking for us, causing them to be very relieved that we were finally back. But as I expected, Mark got caught up with all of his friends and was out of my sight in no time.
I didn't mind, I decided to go spend more time with Haechan and the rest of our friends. Although we all got close last year, I can help but feel like we've been close with one another since forever.
Jeno and I sat across from Haechan and Jaemin, while we talked about our shared memories from last school year. A little while into the story, Haechan got up to go get the door and came back with his friends from SM. It was Chenle, Renjun and Jisung!
"Hey guys! How are you?", I asked curiously.
"It's our first time at a party!" Chenle said innocently.
"Stop telling people that!!" Renjun yelled.
They continued to bicker while Haechan and I sat back and laughed. I scooted closer to the youngest member, Jisung, who seemed very timid and very shy.
"Not really a people person?"
He nodded his head no,
"Me either" I said with a smile,
"Do you love Mark?"
I was a little taken aback by how forward he was but nonetheless I answered, "yes, very much so"
"How do you know that you love him?"
"Because I can't ever imagine my life without him, just thinking about it makes me physically hurt. He's my everything. I'm just sad it took me so long to see that for myself. I'm a little jealous that you get to spend so much time with him now!"
Jisung smiled as he nodded his head, we continued to talk about his childhood as a trainee and where he would like to see himself ten years from now.
I realized just how lovable these kids are, now I don't know if I'm jealous of them or Mark
-
It was close to midnight at this point and everyone was gathering their belongings to head home. Mark and I went back to his apartment, and his room was full of boxes that had already been packed and labeled.
He was leaving in one more day.
I grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and one of his shirts. As I put them on, I began to indulge in his scent that covered the clothes completely. As I crawled into the bed and waited for Mark to get out of the shower, I began to doze off as I thought how we were going to spend the last day together.
I fell asleep thinking about the boy that I want to spend the rest of my life with.