Holden, the only person I had ever harboured feelings for, placed his left hand on my cheek while the other touched the small of my back, pulling me closer into him as his grip tightened.
His touch felt wrong, though I pushed away that thought as soon as it snuck into my mind.
My promised didn't want me. He hadn't even noticed my presence. Maybe being with Holden was the only right thing. It had to be.
"I've missed you," he murmured into my ear, causing me to actually giggle.
"We're not supposed to be public."
The second I uttered that statement the recollection of Kendra telling me of the fight Reece had with Holden came back to mind.
I lowered my voice. "Especially since my brother knows now."
I glared at Holden, raising a questioning eyebrow at him. He stepped away and with him left the physical warmth that his embrace had held. He folded his arms protectively over his chest.
Distance.
Okay.
"That's exactly why we should be public," he said lowly, almost growling at me.
I tried to push a bit of calm into him, to soothe him and his rising attitude.
He relaxed, not taking my influence into account. He wasn't able to, that was a privilege I had only given my family members and Kendra. While my family had learned of my emotional signature by accident, Kendra was the first one I'd shown it to.
"Oh, so Reece's reaction was good? He didn't beat you to a pulp?"
Now it was my turn to fold my arms in front of my chest, raising both eyebrows at him in expectation.
Holden rolled his pale blue eyes. "You know Reece. He tends to overreact. We had a fight, I healed, end of story. I'll talk to him this week and we'll sort things out."
"Oh, of course. You'll sort things out." I snorted. "You don't know him like I do. He won't just agree to you courting me," I argued, shaking my head.
Reece's approval is the only one I need and the only one I don't have. Why can't Holden understand what that's like?
Holden unfolded his arms and huffed. "You know, C, it seems to me that you don't want anyone to know about us."
Unsure whether laughing or crying was the appropriate reaction, I opted for the first.
"Of course I don't. Madame Esmara would shun us both. You know how the elders don't agree on shifters being together if they're not promised."
Holden dragged his hand lazily through his tousled, blond hair, flexing his bicep in the process. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a group of three human girls passing us and ogling Holden.
This time I rolled my eyes, not entirely certain if I was rolling them at the girls or at Holden.
"I don't care about that," he said, turning his attention back to me.
Wow, how very kind of him!
"Well, Holden, I do. So if you don't want to do this my way, we don't do it at all."
When Holden didn't give me an answer, I figured my only option was to turn and leave. I took a few steps until I noticed a warm hand grip mine, pulling me back. The next thing I knew was what a hard, muscular chest felt like and my face planted in it.
As if possessed by spirits, I couldn't stop myself from giggling.
I hated it so much when I giggled.
"Fine. You win." He yielded, pulling me back and planting a soft kiss on my lips.
When he pulled back again, he placed his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. "You stubborn wolf." He smiled and kissed me again.
"Stop! People might see us and we have to go to class!"
Holden looked at me with those blue irises of his that glistened with mischief. I knew that look.
"Actually, I have a better idea."
☼
We strolled through the bustling life of the human neighbourhood. Shops and condominiums lined the narrow streets in all the colours that mankind had come up with. Some of the condominiums were painted in red, all made of stone, some painted green, blue or yellow.
Shops were mostly in wooden-crafted, two-story buildings, old signs hanging a few meters into the streets, looming over our heads.
'Latisha's Bookstore' read one of the oak-signs, a small, rusty-red arrow pointing towards a green-coloured, wooden door. The front of the building had a large glass window, allowing direct sight into the interior.
"I bet Emmet would love a book from here", I said as I gazed into the window, reading some of the titles of the few books that were visible.
"It is an interesting store. Have you ever been here?" Holden asked.
"No, have you?"
Holden shook his head. "No, I haven't. First time too, come to think of it."
Turning back to the window, I saw a particular interesting book that caught my attention. 'Grimald's Four Seasons' was written on the cover in thick, golden, cursive letters. The cover was a dark blue, the edges adorned with ornate flowers. It caught my attention immediately because it was so simple but looked so valuable.
With Holden in tow, I opened the creaking door and was instantly greeted by the bookkeeper.
"How can I help you two?" the elderly man asked kindly with a smile on his wrinkled face.
He stood behind a small counter-piece, tiny, round glasses so far down his nose I imagined they would fall off once he moved. His snow-white beard nearly reached his chest. Similar to Holden's, he too had blue eyes, just much lighter. They held more wisdom than I'd ever seen before.
I'd never been more intrigued about a human than I was in that moment.
"Grimald's Four Seasons." I paused. "What's it about?"
The man rose his hand to his beard and stroked it—a movement he did continually. Running his fingers from the bottom of his chin through the thick hair that grew thinner towards his chest, he smiled kindly.
"Samuel Grimald explains the four seasons of all the flowers, herbs and plants found in Everett Valley. I'm sure you know what Samin flowers are, young lady?"
When I gave him a short nod, he smiled again. "Well, Samin flowers may be the most common we have in Everett Valley, but there are much more that deserve to be appreciated. Indica flowers, for example, or Jenaia petals. And like all flowers, they live through four seasons until they wither and die. They also have four main abilities, which a lot of people don't know." His voice was deep and had a raspy edge to it that made anyone want to listen to him.
"Do you also have books on knowledge that reaches further than Everett Valley?" I asked and grabbed one of four leather-bound books that were neatly placed on a glass table to my left, in front of the display window.
The books I had seen from outside stood upright on the same, three-legged table.
The elderly man seemed to contemplate when his gaze wandered through his store. Without saying a word, he turned on his heel and skidded over to the bookshelves that adorned the walls. T
he store was T-shaped, I could see both long corridor-like rooms filled with books while the entry only allowed space for the register, the display window and the table in front of it. Right next to the entrance, on the right side, stood an old, wine-red sofa with a dark mahogany coffee table beside it.
His dark purple cloak swayed as he moved, giving me the impression that even for human standards this man was peculiar.
Humans I'd seen in both the Iarhus and occasionally walking through the streets near it, weren't known to wear long, hooded cloaks. It made the man look eerie from behind.
But when he found a black, hardcover book from the left side of the shelving and turned around, the eerie aura left him as quickly as it had appeared.
There was still a genuine smile etched into his features that created wrinkles at the sides of his eyes. "I have a few more, but unfortunately not many. They've all been moved."
The man returned swiftly and stretched out his hand to give me the book.
Laying aside the leather book I'd been holding, I took the hardcover book and returned his smile.
Before I could thank him and ask for a quick description, Holden stirred and spoke.
"Where have they been moved to?"
The bearded human looked perplexed for a moment, as if he'd forgotten that I hadn't entered his store alone. His gaze wandered to Holden and his eyes hardened.
"Council Hall," he answered, his voice void of the softness it had held when he'd spoken to me. I wondered what had caused the sudden shift in his mood but said nothing.
Holden nodded, his body tensing.
"Of course." His mutter ended the conversation between the two.
I felt the old man's hostility in the air, wary of the person standing next to me. It mixed with Holden's confusion.
I closed my eyes briefly, trying to make out all the emotions that swirled along with the two strongest. There was something floating amongst them—something dark and cold. Was it fear? I couldn't be certain.
There was no reason for either of them to feel such an emotion.
Maybe Holden was afraid he would be thrown out of the store?
No, that couldn't be it. The emotion felt too dark. Too... hidden in the shadows of uncertainty. It was not an obvious emotion—not like his confusion was. It was concealed, something that I only sensed because I concentrated. The strangest thought crossed my mind as I tried analysing what I felt between the two.
The fear of uncovering the truth.
Strangely enough, I couldn't tell who was feeling it. I didn't have time to further investigate, however, else the two men would fear I'd left this plane of existence and was a soulless shell standing next to them.
Or just very weird.
Emmet usually described my zoning out as ghostly and strange. He'd often been worried I'd get stuck in whatever place I found myself in whenever I tried to analyse emotions.
I guess in a way, I am somewhere else whenever I change... spheres.
I steered my attention back to the books.
"What's this one about?" I asked, interrupting the awkward tension that had spread, looming over us.
The old man averted his sight and while it still bore a faint trace of the hardness they'd held, his eyes softened. "Well, it was written by an Immortal named Fenara Jane. She talks about myths she heard of in a place called The Valley of Kings. She came to Everett Valley eight hundred years ago. She was one of the first settlers here. In a brief description of her, written by herself, she also explains how she found Everett Valley and with whom she came."
The man paused and folded his hands over his belly. "It is a very interesting and informative read. I can strongly recommend it."
It wasn't hard to decide whether I should get the two books for Emmet or not—he had only those provided by the Iarhus or the library, which weren't many. He had even less about matters that took place outside of Everett Valley. All the books we had access to were only written by our natives—which meant little to no outside information.
But no matter what the book was about, as long as it contained valuable information, he would want it. There was no doubt about it.
I purchased the books and spent only a few more minutes strolling through the left part of the long corridor-like-room, but decided to save the rest of the Quiles I still had.
"Thank you for visiting. I hope to see you again, young lady." The bookkeeper smiled, showing me a set of straight, white teeth. I smiled back and waved as I followed Holden out of the door.
The old man hadn't spared Holden a single glance.
When the intense smell of the human section hit me, I wished to be back in the woods where the air was cleaner. It was a very strong scent that wafted through the streets—one that reminded me of musty spices.
"It does smell strong, doesn't it?" Holden piped up, taking my hand into his, as if he'd read my mind. I looked up to him, since he was about a head taller, and nodded.
"Tell me about it."
Holden and I strolled through the streets, multiple people walking past us without paying us any kind of attention. I would have expected strange glances—at least—but no one seemed to mind. In our neighbourhood, a human face would cause a lot of talk. The races all kept to themselves, mostly, and our community was tightly knit.
I would have thought for it to be similar here—but people didn't greet each other or stop to have a conversation. They hustled through the streets, minding their own business, going about their day without much socialising at all.
Holden and I were about to enter a store that sold clothes, since I desperately needed to restock my closet. It smelled strangely like sulphur, but I figured the neighbourhood smelled weird enough that it was probably just one of the more intense components. Getting clothes was more important anyway—all the shifting had destroyed most of what I owned.
But before we could walk through the open door, a young woman grabbed Holden's hand.
"Would you like to buy more Keeth Dust, young sir?"
If I had only heard her voice, without seeing the youthful brown eyes and the beautiful, soft face they belonged to—I would have guessed her to be much older. Her voice was deep and raspy, almost man-like.
That wasn't, however, what caught me off guard.
Holden's facial expression changed to one that seemed shocked first, but quickly morphed into confusion.
"Sorry? I don't know what Keeth Dust is. Excuse us", he said hastily, grabbing my arm as he pulled me away from the store.
We walked down an entire street like that; his hand gripping my arm, almost cutting the blood flow off, without so much as looking back at me.
Before he could turn down the left street and out of the human neighbourhood, I stopped and yanked my arm back.
"What was that about?" I demanded, feeling anger bubble through me.
He shrugged, as if not fazed by what had happened at all. "I have no clue. The lady was bonkers."
How dare he drag me away like that and lie so blatantly? Did he think I was a fool?
Before the anger could dominate my actions, I tried to wash calmness over it. Unfortunately, things weren't going my way.
"Don't lie to me."
My voice turned cold, hostile even. My tolerance for charades was on an extreme low.
"Cathy, you're completely overreacting. There is no need to be so angry, darling." He took my hand into his, the warmth of it spreading through my body. But it only ignited the fire, not soothing it as he had surely intended.
"Tell me the truth. Please. What is Keeth Dust and why did you tell me you've never been here before?"
Holden's blue eyes stared into mine, his face hard but it feigned nonchalance. I could feel his emotions, albeit clouded by mine, and I wasn't completely daft. He was hiding something and I didn't like it. Not one bit.
His shoulders dropped as he let out a deep breath of air. "Alright, alright. I have been here but only because I wanted to impress you", he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark blue trousers.
Raising my eyebrows, I tried to study him. What was he hiding?
I couldn't feel him lying—but I couldn't sense the truth behind his words either.
"Oh? And how might you have done that?"
"By knowing where to go, which shops to show you. And Keeth Dust is supposed to be some kind of powder that women use to smell good", he explained, shrugging as if it were no big deal.
What he said made sense. While it still didn't explain what he was feeling—it explained what happened. At least, to some extent. If only I could ask him. If only I could tell him that I felt what he felt. Maybe then he would be honest with me.
Did I not deserve his honesty?
Was it my fault that he couldn't put his trust in me?
Little, poisonous flowers of doubt began to sprout.
It's my fault. I shouldn't have been so hard on him at the Iarhus.
"A—Alright. Okay. Holden?" My voice cracked and I hated myself for growing so weak. "I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry for being so harsh to you about being together. I want to be with you, openly, it's just hard not to think about the consequences. Do you understand?"
I'm pathetic. Cowering beneath him like a small, frightened little girl.
"Don't worry about that, darling! Hey." Holden took a step closer towards me and touched my chin with his thumb. A soft sensation ran through me, like a light wandering through the darkness in my mind.
It felt wrong.
"I know your mom isn't the easiest person. But don't let her influence you so. Even if you think she won't accept it, and she might not—she is still your mother. And I'm sure she would stand up for you should Madame Esmara find out and have our heads." A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest. It made me smile.
I had overreacted. Maybe I was delirious, feeling things that weren't actually there. Holden deserved the benefit of the doubt—and besides. I'd had a rough couple of days that were still following me around, invisible thorns poking into my sides.
The voices. Oh god, the voices. The shadowed figure.
The dead body.
I was about to go under again, drown in my own red, fiery pit of hell, but Holden caught on to the despair that raked through me so suddenly. My mother.
The only person who truly hated me.
The only person who's love I'd never gotten but wished for so desperately.
I hadn't noticed I was trembling until Holden pulled me into his chest, his arms wrapping around my body. He didn't say anything, and neither did I. We just stood there, in the middle of the street, hugging each other.
After I managed to collect myself, picking up all the pieces that had threatened to blow away in the storm of my own emotions, Holden and I walked the rest of the way in silence. All I wanted was to go home. Thankfully, that's what we did.
My heart beat hard against my chest, as if it was furious at what I was doing.
My stomach turned into a tight knot. I have a promised. And I'm letting someone else console me.
Something was truly wrong with me.
Chapter Question: Do you think Holden is acting suspicious? What could he be up to?
Reader Question: Who's the worst teacher you ever had and why?
Mine was my math teacher in high school. Well, in Switzerland it's not exactly high school but similar. Anyway, he was a real piece of work, I'll tell you that. I mean okay, I wasn't much interested in math, I'll admit, especially because I didn't understand anything. Me and two other guys, who were also shit at math, were therefor kinda known for sucking at it. My teacher once handed out our exams and said to the entire class; "Well safe to say Max had the worst grade of all." He was one of my two guy friends. Thinking back now it was kinda funny but at the time all I wanted was for him to explain and make me understand, not go insulting classmates for having difficulties xD