•Chapter Twenty Four•
〄
Here's what happens when you fall in love:
At first, you think he's horrendous. His hair is too spiky, too red, and his eyes are dull. His laugh makes your skin crawl and there's something about his smile that you just can't stand. He's overly nice, almost as if it's forced. All in all, he's thoroughly average. Painfully average.
Everything he does, everything from his over-the-top personality to the way he eats frustrates you to no end. He walks to slow, his actions are so careless. His room and school locker are far too messy. He takes too long to text, he's not the brightest guy out there, and he's too loud all the time. You can't stand it, and you're not sure why. At first, it was because he stole your top spot. You thought he was undeserving of that prize, undeserving of the applause and the attention. This doesn't change when you discover he's blind, in fact, it fuels your hatred even more and you can't fathom why.
You get to know him, and not by choice either. You see just how hard he works, all of the hardships he had to face, and eventually you're a little more forgiving, a little less hostile. The hatred turns to admiration. The smile, the happinessーit was all a facade to show his friends that they, too, could keep going. They would beat the pain, and the battle would have been worth it.
He opens up to you, and he allows you to do the same. He listens. He shows that he cares.
You realize your entire world could be crumbling all around you, but everything would be okay as long as his was standing.
You notice his heart first. You're made aware of the way it bleeds and beats for others, the way it doesn't beat for himself. It's so loud all the time, always explaining the way he feels without him actually having to say any words. Sometimes, in the quiet of the practise room, when you're both resting, you can hear it's steady rhythm against his chest. It's so musical. So soothing. You tap the beat on your leg. You fall in love with it.
Next, you notice everything else. His brain, which actually isn't as empty as he makes it out to be, and the armour he's been building up over the years. You see the way he carries it, how heavy it must feel. You compare it to how heavy yours is and you wonder if it's the same. You notice just how beautiful he is.
You didn't realize you were falling in love until it already happenedーuntil your heart constricted at the mere thought of him. Until he was all you could ever think about it. It was too late.
Suddenly, his face is no longer annoying. His eyes are no longer boring, his hair isn't stupid anymore. You wantーmore than anythingーto see his smile at every waking moment. You want to see his eyes light up as he rambles about the things he enjoys. His fascination for the colour red captivates you, and his annoying dog grows on you.
His friends: You put up with the two because they're important to him. They've been there for him in ways you couldn't, and they'll be there for him in ways you'll never be. As painful as that fact is, you come to terms with it. You have to.
You couldn't understand the importance of these people for the longest time. Pieces of a puzzle that didn't seem to fit no matter how many times you mix and match them. They weren't meant to fit together, the two. That wasn't their purpose. They were the pieces that were meant to go on either side of Kirishima, the pieces that kept him together. Together, the puzzle was complete. Sometimes they broke apart, sometimes a corner somehow ended up bent, but in the end, they'd fix each other.
Fear is instilled upon you when you think about telling him, not because you're afraid he's going to reject you, but because you aren't sure you'll be around for much longer. Your father's job constantly has you moving, as well as your talent.
But even so, even if it's for a moment, you want to know what it's like to call him yours.
〄
"Kirishima!" a voice called, catching him off guard. For a brief moment, he felt his hands slip, and he finally noticed the frost on the metal railing freezing his hands. He noticed the weight of his body and how close his arms were to giving out.
With his heart in his throat, he tried to turn around so he could pull himself back onto solid ground. Another shout of his name, another shout that startled him, and before he had time to react
his
hands
slipped
and it felt like he had been falling forever.
Instinctively, Kirishima squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth, bracing himself for the ice covering the river, and the freezing water underneath. He readied himself for the pain.
Something was missing. Wind didn't blow through his hair, the air didn't slice up his cheeks, and his stomach hadn't slid down to his feet. He didn't feel like he was falling. Sure, Kirishima never experienced what it's like to free fall, however, he was certain the sensation had to be similar to what he felt when he went down a steep drop on a rollercoaster. Your stomach drops and your heart begins to desperately pump blood throughout your body much faster. He imagined that to be what free falling was like.
But he wasn't free falling. He was hanging. Body hanging over the partially frozen, rushing river below as bitter air caressed his exposed skin.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" someone yelled, their tone wrapped in worry and anger. Most likely the same someone who was holding Kirishima. Most likely Katsuki. "Hair-for-Brains." Most definitely Katsuki.
"Uhm-"
"Quickly give me your other hand, Kirishima!" Katsuki's tone was firm, demanding. Kirishima thought he heard some panicked undertones hidden beneath the harshness.
"Before I fucking drop you!"
There's the panic. Hidden, almost inaudible, but it's there.
Kirishima stretched his hand upwards, grasping at the empty air. He didn't know where Katsuki was, he didn't know if his hand was close or far away or somewhere in between. Then, a hand grabbed his wrist. A firm grip. He did the same.
As he was pulled up, Kirishima pulled himself up until he felt like his arms were at a minty degree angle and he curled his legs in, searching for the edge of the bridge. When his feet touched the railing of the bridge, when solid ground was within reach, he slipped on the ice and tumbled, Katsuki unwillingly breaking his fall.
A gasp followed by a groan. Kirishima scurried off of Katsuki, pushing himself back until the railing stopped him.
"Dude, I'm so sorryー"
"You're an idiot," Katsuki spat. He caressed the back of his throbbing head, and then ran his fingers over his elbows, feeling the cuts and scrapes. He'd live. He's suffered through far worse.
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you though?"
"I've got a small inkling."
"Good. I thought I might have to say it again."
Kirishima smiled and sighed out upon feeling a fuzzy head shove itself under his chin. Riot. Always such a good boy. He took comfort in feeling the cool fur around his fingers and the study breathing of the animal. Did Riot worry for him when he was on the bridge? He wondered...
"Why the fuck were you standing like that, you dumbass?" Katsuki asked, his voice growing closer and closer to Kirishima. "You've done a lot of dumb shit. And I mean a lot. But this? This right here?" Dumbest bullshit you've ever fucking pulled. You should feel blessed that I haven't shoved my foot up your ass."
Kirishima blinked, processed the flurry of words being thrown his way, and cracked an even wider smile while cocking his head to the side. "Were you worried about me, bro?"
"Get fucked."
"Awe! Bro, you were worried!"
"I said get fucked!" Katsuki crossed his arms and childishly turned his head away. "You didn't answer my question, about why you were standing there in the first place."
The smile faded. Why was he standing on the edge? Kirishima has always found himself near ledges when he needs to think. Whether it was the edge of the porch outside his house, or balconies high in the air, it's always been a thing he's done. But the reason for standing on the edge this time around? Same as all the othersーto think.
"I shouldn't have said what I said." He shook his head. "It was sudden and just kinda... fumbled out of my mouth? I mean, it still holds true, don't get me wrong. You don't have to return my feelingsーnothing has to change. Just forget it, okay?"
Katsuki chewed his cheek, the inner workings of his brain sifting through the words, identifying all their possible meanings, looking for clues between the lines. He mulled over every possible answer he could give, and any possible he could receive. For the first time in his life, he's trying to account for someone's feelings, how what he says and the way he says could either damage or build up their relationship.
He could see Kirishima's heart furiously beating on his sleeve in both fear and love. Kirishima's face was red from the cold, or embarrassment. It wasn't easy to distinguish the difference. Nonetheless, he was beautiful.
"Why would things change?" he eventually asked.
Kirishima shrugged.
"I'm sorry," he muttered.
"The hell? For what?"
"For saying what I said..."
Katsuki flicked Kirishima's cheek as he said, "You should never apologize for loving someone."
Kirishima's face lit up even more, and his breath was lodged in the back of his throat as he felt the distance between them suddenly shrink. In the atmosphere, he could feel Katsuki's nerves, like he was on edge or worried, and he didn't know what to make of it. He didn't know what it meant, nor did he know how to react because holy fuck Katsuki was right there andー
the world fell still
the trees stopped dancing in the wind as all the birds stopped their joyful singing
not a sound
not a breath
as Kirishima felt something almost like a whisper brush over his lips.
A warm and hesitant whisper.
A whisper so soft, so delicate, so quiet, only their corner of the world was aware of it.
"I couldn't help but fall in love with you, Shitty Hair."
And it was like the entire universe fell still at the sound of those words.
He forgot how to breathe. Was he still breathing? No. This was definitely heaven. He had died. He fell off the bridge and collided with the ice below and he died. That was the only logical explanation. Things like this, they only happen in books and romance movies.
Someone needed to pinch him. He needed to wake up and come out of dreamland. Letting this dream go on was cruel. He's going to wake up heartbroken. When he wakes up, all of this will only be in his mind and nowhere else, and as time goes on, it'll slowly fade away because it never happened. His mind... sometimes it was so painful, playing these horrid tricks on him.
"Fuck, please answer me Shitty Hair," Katsuki breathed out. He was so close. "Don't be an asshole and just leave me hanging..."
When did his hands move to Kirishima's face? Why was he still so close?
His mind short-circuited. All the little people that do their best to keep the contents of his head in order were running around, hands in the air as their screamed because that short circuit from before set the whole place on fire. Save the memories! they shouted at one another. Then, they saw through his eyes, Katsuki's distorted figure backlit by the sun and remembered that Kirishima needed to reply. Desperate, they shoved words into his mouth and prayed they would come out correctly if at all.
"Uhm... was that an Elvis Preicly reference?"
Abort mission! Abort mission! He fucked up and now it's time to jump ship!
"You've gotta be shitting me? Like, please tell me you're not fucking pulling my leg, Shitty Hairー"
"I'm not. I promise. My brain, like, sorta died? It's a jumbled mess of feelings and shit. You caught me by surprise... I'm sorry, " the world's longest three-second pause, "I couldn't help but fall in love with you, too."
Katsuki let out a sigh of relief and let his hands slip from Kirishima's face to his shoulders. "You're an asshole. Like, seriously, get fucked."
"What? Why?"
"It felt like fucking eighty years waiting for your fucking 2005 Dell laptop brain to stop lagging and catch the fuck up."
"I'm sorry."
"Fuck you."
"Understandable."
They sat side by side, feet dangling over the edge of the bridge. After the fuck up that nearly ended in death, Kirishima still insisted that it was fine. He was scared, and Katsuki didn't argue. Kirishima made an attempt in grabbing Katsuki's hand, missed, and practicality shrank back into his skin at the embarrassment.
Katsuki had to laugh. He laughed more when Kirishima's face lit up bright red, and reached his hand out to lace his fingers through Kirishima's. He felt the redhead instantly begin to rub his hand with his finger like it was instinct. Something about the softness of his hand and the gentle touch of his fingers, the way he traced them along Katsuki's skin, was comforting.
Where did this leave them? It was obvious, confessions were shared, and now their feelings were out on the table. But they weren't official, were they? Katsuki didn't know how these kinds of things worked. Being in love and expressing that love was foreign to him, a whole new concept he didn't know how to navigate. He's read things like this in romance novels, the kissing and cuddling and dates, however, they make it seem so easy. Getting from point A to B was simple. This wasn't a romance novel. It was real life and he was freaking the fuck out. He could see himself furiously asking Google questions like How do I know if my boyfriend is really my boyfriend? How does one ask someone they confessed to but aren't sure if they're dating out?
Stupid. It was stupid. Love? It had to be the most stupid thing around. Love could get fucked right in the face. And on that note, feelings could get fucked, too.
"How did you know I was here?" Kirishima asked, swaying his legs from side to side while running his free hand through Riot's fur. "Did Mina and Kami tell you?"
"What? No, they didn't know, useless bastards..." He scoffed. "I followed you when you came running down here all those years ago. I saw you on the edge of the bridge with your stupid black hair and your dumb dog. I was the one who stopped you, and I figured you might've come running back down here. Old habits die hard."
Kirishima's eyes were wide with shock, and in the corner of his eyes, tears began to pool. Fast and heavy, they spilt over the edge and warmed his frozen cheeks.
"Shitty Hair? Are you okay?" Katsuki asked and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears from his face. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cryー"
"Thank you."
"The fuck?"
"Thank you, for not letting me jump... You didn't have to do that."
Katsuki's features softened. "Yeah, well I did."
A small nod. "Thank you."
"Please don't thank me."
"I'm going to. I need to. Katsuki, thank you, so fucking much for not letting me jump."
"I didn't keep you from jumping. I said words, what you did with those words was all on you. You still could've jumped, but you didn't."
"Because of what you said. Dude, just accept it. Say 'you're welcome' or something."
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Katsuki, thank you.
You're welcome.
"Oh my god, Kami, look!" Someone yelled from down the road. "KAMI! IT FINALLY HAPPENED!"
Those two... they were plagues on Katsuki's life.
"Bros, we've been looking for you guys everywhere, and here you were the whole time, getting dirty. On a public bridge of all places," Kaminari said.
"We weren't getting dirty, fuck stick," Katsuki spat and stood up when he felt Kirishima moving to his feet.
"Whatever you say." Mina winked.
"You bitchー"
"We bear good news!" Mina cut him off. She pulled Kirishima's hand away from Katsuki's and looked him right in the eyes. "Kiri, Katsuki, you guys won! Can you believe it? Even with the way Kiri ran away, you guys still got the most marks!"
"Congrats, dude!" Kaminari said as he swung an arm around Katsuki's shoulder.
"Get the hell off meー"
"To celebrate, we're going out to dinner," Kaminari added. "It seems like you two will need to celebrate on your own, huh?" He wiggled his brows.
Before Katsuki made a snide remark, he was being whisked away with Kirishima by Kaminari and Mina to one of the more high-end restaurants in their small town. The night was spent with laughter in the air and smiles on their faces as they cut into their steaks. The head chef caught wind of their win and decided to give them a dessert of their choice for free. Everyone, excluding Katsuki, because he didn't care, decided on a chocolate lava cake covered in vanilla icing and a caramel drizzle.
That night was perfect, and what made it indescribable was Kirishima's never-dying smile.
〄
Word Count: 3018
December 20, 2019
we're almost at the finish like boys. prepare your tissues.
-StarsNeverLanding