Niall's POV*
I was caught in the in between stage. Where your dreams are still lingering, but reality is just within the switch of mind. I could still see Khloe's smiling face next to me, but I knew that I was still dreaming because her body heat had disappeared from my side.
So my first choice of the day was that I could think less and fall back into a peaceful sleep, or I could peel my eyes open and deal with the bright light from the windows, along with a major situation that is supposed to be sorted out.
As much as I'd rather lay and continue this dream while curling back into the heated sheets, I decided on the second option and slowly, very slowly, opened my eyes. An instant smile was brought to my face as I took in the most beautiful sight in front of me.
Damn, I'm turning into such a fucking sap.
Khloe sat at the end of the bed, dressed in sexy, navy blue, knee-high socks, her white, knit sweater, and a pair of short navy blue comfortable shorts. Her hair was back in that braid and her feet were crossed in Indian style, while she held a coffee cup in one hand and book in the other.
Pure and blissful.
She hadn't noticed I had woken yet so instead of informing her, I just laid back, eying her. I was starting to notice the little things about her.
Like the way she would squeeze her eyes shut if something was unpleasing to her. The way she bit her lip if she was trying to not laugh. Or the way her eyes would grow bigger if she really liked something. It was weird how I was starting to pick up on these thing, but I... I enjoyed it. I enjoyed learning all about her. She was very interesting to me and I liked that. I liked how she wasn't like everyone else. I had to actually put effort into her. No, I didn't have to, but I wanted to.
With the thoughts of her filling my mind, I wasn't really aware that I was smiling as big as I was until she glanced over to me, a large smile taking over as a light chuckle escaped her perfectly pink lips.
She closed her book and set her coffee on the night stand before turning to me. Yawning, I sat up and ran a hand through my flat hair, pushing it more to the side rather than having it hang in my face.
"Morning." She smiled, her eyes sparkling in the morning sun.
"Morning." I leant in for a kiss but she placed her hand on my shoulder pushing me away.
A small giggle echoed through the air as I gave her a look. "Go brush your teeth first, lazy bug."
"Lazy bug?" I laughed and she did too as she shrugged. I shook my head, but smiled and complied as I stood from my warm cocoon I had made in the blankets, making my way towards the bathroom.
I quickly ran my tooth brush around my mouth for a few minutes before lastly, rinsing with mouthwash. I glanced in the mirror, noticing the small amount of stubble that was starting to form.
I quickly splashed my face with cold water before applying the shaving cream that I has left here before. I was glad to see the spare razor as well. I ran it over my chin a few time, trying to be careful, yet fast. Lastly, I once again splashed my face and smiled as I dried it.
Once I was back in the bedroom, I made my way to the bed again where I had tackled Khloe. She let out a small squeal then giggled as I kneeled above her.
We stared at each other for a few seconds with goofy smiles until she ran her hands across my cheeks. "You shaved." she smiled.
"I did." I smiled back and leant down. She met me in the middle, finally connecting our lips. I let out a huff of air and fell onto my forearms that rested beside her head. Khloe's arms slowly wrapped under my triceps, resting on my back.
Our lips moved in sync, lighting a fire in the pit of my stomach. It was ridiculous how crazy she made me. I felt her tongue lightly touch mine, causing her to pull it back quickly and smile. I took the opportunity to enter, turning my head slightly to deepen the kiss.
We let this continue for a while before we slowly pulled back, in desperate need of air. I don't think we've ever had that heated of a make out session before.
I smiled at the thought and lightly placed a kiss on her nose. She smiled and scrunched it, causing me to let out a small laugh.
Khloe let out a bubbly laugh, looking up to me.
"What are you thinking about?" I whispered, rolling my thumb over her cheek.
"You." She smiled.
I rose my eyebrows, smiling back. "What about me?" She bit her lip, turning her head slightly so that way I wouldn't see the salmon blush that had spread lightly across her cheeks.
I chuckled which caused her to turn her head back towards me, a small, bright glint in her eyes. "I really like you, Niall."
I felt my heart start to race, and it wasn't because of how she meant the words. I slowly pulled back from her and she sat up, a worried and hopeful look written in her eyes.
"Khlo.... I, um. I don't really know what to say."
"Do you like me? Do you like spending time with me? Do you like kissing me and cuddling me? You've never done that before and I know it's weird, but do you like it?" She asked, hopefully.
Yes, I like all of that, but that doesn't change anything for me. I..."I need space." I jumped up and placed on a pair of my black skinny jeans and a grey shirt before rushing out of the room.
I didn't mean to panic like that, but it's overwhelming. Mainly because I know that I do like Khloe as well, but that doesn't mean I will date her and I don't want to break her by telling her that.
I don't want to hurt her.
I heard her sigh as I shut the door before walking downstairs to meet Annie in the kitchen. I was surprised to say the least when I seen Will sitting across from her while they ate their pancakes.
I don't really know Will, but he seemed to be a pretty cool guy for Annes. He was polite and gentleman like. They did get into their little disagreements once in a while, but clearly that didn't have an effect on Annie, seeming how she's still with him.
I noticed his deep brown hair was cut shorter and his face clean. Last time I'd seen him, his hair covered his ears and he had a bit of a a beard starting.
"Niall, right?" I nodded and smiled.
"Hey, Will. How are things going?" I poured myself a cup of tea, adding a dash of milk and a couple scoops of sugar.
"Great myself. What about you? You're sister was telling me you settled down, yeh?"
I glanced to Annie giving her a small glare. "I, um, she's just a friend."
Will nodded, a smirk on his face, "Yeah I know how those types of friends." He winked and laughed as Annie hit him in the chest.
"Yeah..."
"Where's Khloe, anyways?" Annie asked, taking a drink of her water.
"Up stairs."
"She didn't want to come down and get something to eat?" I shrugged, looking to the steps. "Niall, what did you do?"
I glanced to Annie. Am I really that bad at hiding things? "Nothing. I promise." I smiled, although I don't know how convinced she was. She has a much better poker face than I do.
"You did something.."
"I panicked, okay! I didn't know what to do!" I raised my hands in defense as Annie sighed and shook her head before placing it in her hands.
"Go. Now."
"What?"
"Go talk to her. Now."
"Anne, I-"
"Niall, go talk to her and stop being a little prick."
I groaned but did as she said. I grabbed my cup and slowly made my way up the stairs, stopping at outside of the bedroom.
If I go in here, Khloe's either going to be too embarrassed to talk to me or she's going to bombard me with questions... I feel bad for backing out like a coward, but at the same time I don't. It's fine that she likes me, I kinda already knew this, just nothing can come out of it.
Okay, Niall, let's go.
I slowly cracked the door open to see her curled in a ball on the bed. She was wrapped up in her sweater, her book in hand. She glanced to me before looking back to the book.
"Hey, care to talk?" I asked timidly as I sat down, placing my tea on the stand. She glanced to me again, but this time I could see that her eyes were red and glossy.
She folded her book before turning to my full attention. "I don't know, are you going to ask me a question and back out when I tell you the truth?" Her tone was kind of bitchy, but I don't blame her. She basically laid out her feelings for me in front of my face, which is already a hard thing to muster courage for, and I pretty much threw them in the trash by cowering away.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before placing it on her leg. "I'm sorry, Khlo. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."
"Then why did you?", She asked as she sat up, pulling the fabric of her sweater over her knees that she had pulled to her chest, causing my hand to fall to the bed.
"I was scared? Overwhelmed by those words?"
"Niall, you acted as if I had said I loved you and wanted to be with only you for the rest of my life."
I flinched at those words, suddenly wondering if that would ever be possible. Would it be possible for Khloe to one day love me? For me to actually feel and understand that feeling of love? Would I ever be able to say it to her? Or any other person for that matter?
"When I said that we still need to talk through things, this is what I was meaning." I sighed again, glancing to the girl in front of me.
"I don't know what say, Khloe. What do you want me to say?"
"I just want you to talk this through with me, Niall. This letter.. What you wrote. That needs some explaining."
"What needs to be explained? I wrote everything that you had wanted to know. I told you about my past. I told you where I came from. I told you about Jonah, and stuff about your father. I thought I did all of my explaining through my letter."
"Niall, we still have to talk." she moved over to me, sitting on my lap as she ran her hand through my hair. "Talking about that will help us with us. Yes, I learned a lot about you, and I thank you for letting me in, but now it's time to deal with me and you. Put everyone else aside for a second and talk to me."
"Khloe, this is ridiculous. I have explained my life to you. I've told you more than anyone else knows. I trust you more than you even realize. I shouldn't have to explain anything!"
"I understand. I do, but then can we put everything else aside and talk about us? Me and You?"
"There is no us."
She frowned, looking over my face. "What is so wrong with me?", She whispered. "Why don't you like me? We talk, we laugh, we have fun. I know that I can be bitchy, but why don't you like me?"
"You think that I don't like you?"
"What else am I supposed to think? Are you attracted to me?"
"Of course I'm attracted to you!"
"Well, I don't know! I know that I'm not like the others, you've said it yourself. I'm not all skin and bones. I don't use my face as a canvas, but I like to think I'm somewhat pretty. I know that I'm stubborn, but I can try to be more giving if you'd at least try with me."
"Khloe, I already said that I can't love. That was in the letter."
"I know, and you don't have to love me quite yet, but can't I at least have the opportunity to thaw you out?"
"Thaw me?" I never knew anyone would want to do that, let alone Khloe. Who would want to work with me? I can be cold and stiff. I push people away. That's a huge responsibility to take on.
"Yes, thaw you. Thaw your heart. Teach you how to love."
"What would that entitle me to do?"
Khloe sighed, running her hand over my jaw. "Just be affectionate towards me. We go on dates and hang out more. We text each other and call. There would be no more sleeping around or seeing other people."
"None?"
"Niall, when was the last time you slept with someone?"
What? I don't know.. It's been a while, that's for sure, which is honestly really odd. I tried hard to think back.
"Last time I slept with someone, it was a few hours before the second frat party. Last time I fooled around with someone other than you was the night that you and Luke had gotten in that argument at the frat house about him cheating."
She nodded, her eyebrows knitting together. "It shouldn't be hard then, Niall. The last time you had sex was about a month and a half ago."
Really? It seemed like such a shorter time difference than that. Although, I guess that could be about right because after that party, Khloe and I started getting closer..
I nodded my head. "I don't know how to be affectionate, though."
"Just by the small things you do now, you show affection towards me. Like the way.. Like when you guide me, when you place your hand on my lower back. That's affection. Or when you hold my hand and play with my fingers. At night when you wrap your arm around me and burry your head into my neck. The little kisses on the nose or the cheek. That's all affection, Niall."
I blinked, taking everything in. I guess I never realized how much Khloe actually had changed me. I never would have done that to any of the other girls I'd slept with. I always sent them back to their dorms. Khloe has been the only other female, besides my mum, to actually share a bed with me. She's been the only one to have her fingers tied around mine. It's a wonderful feeling to know that she's been the only one. The only one to give me that fire that I had been looking for. That fire that I thought I could receive by sleeping around, but I never actually did get it until she came around.
"I need an answer, Niall. Either send me on my way, and when we get home I'll return to my dorm with all my stuff and go on with life, or actually try with me. Allow me to have you and only you."
The idea of her leaving me behind, filled with my heart and secrets scares me to death. I couldn't stand the feeling of seeing her with another guy again, knowing that she was once so close with me. I can't have that happen again after what I just went through with Luke.
I slowly leant my head against hers, pressing our lips together. You could feel the passion igniting, and that flame growing. But you could also feel the vulnerability I was giving out. That pain and hurt laced within it.
"Please tell me that wasn't a goodbye kiss." She mumbled, breathlessly, as we both parted.
"That was not a goodbye kiss."
Her smile grew instantly before she pressed her lips onto mine again. I smiled into the kiss, feeling her soft lips work together in one with mine.
"But just let's go slow, please? I don't know how to do this, so can we please not rush?" I mumbled against her lips.
"We won't rush." She smiled as she stared into my eyes.
"And no sex." I couldn't stand knowing that I was responsible for that level of innocence. I couldn't take that away from her.
"Fine." She grumbled. I chuckled and pushed her into the bed, tickling her sides. She let out a loud gasp, laughing uncontrollably.
My hands came to a halt as my lips pressed to hers. Our tongues met in the middle, battling playfully almost as her fingertips worked their way through my dyed bond tips.
"Can.. Can I ask something, though? I'm still a little confused." She pulled away, a frown setting on her face, creating small wrinkles on her forehead. I nodded, staring down at her. "What you said the other night about me not being something you're used to. I know you said you didn't mean it like that, but it still hurt me. Can you please explain how you did mean it then?"
"I wasn't meaning to hurt you, Khlo. I was thinking out loud. In fact, I actually really like all those qualities about you. I like how you aren't a stick. You have natural curves, and they add to your cooky personality. I enjoy that I actually have to put effort into you because you're not easy. You don't sell yourself; you have self respect. I like that you're independent and strong. I like that you're determined, yet so innocent. All of these things are such a turn on to me."
She smiled and slapped my arm before pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.
"So, does all of this mean we are dating?"
"It does." The smile barely had any time to cover her face before she had attacked me in another kiss, just not lasting as long. It was out of complete happiness, not lust, which was going to take some time to get used to.
"But can we please hold off on the labels for a little bit?" I breathed, running my hand down her arm.
"Like boyfriend/ girlfriend labels?" She exhaled.
"Exactly like that. I just need a little time to process all of this. I'm just.. This is all very new to me. Then in time, they can come."
"We can do that." Our hands tangled together beside her head and she forcefully pushed against me, resulting in me rolling onto my back and her straddling my lap.
Khloe's lips pressed down on mine and her small hands roamed my body frantically, moving from my waist band to my shoulders, back down to my hips.
Our lips moved in sync and our tongues lapped each others, causing a funny feeling to light my stomach on fire. Anxious, yet amazing nerves flooded through me like shock waves.
But who was to say that this feeling wasn't going to be my new favorite?
Along with the feeling of finally, after years, finally being wanted by someone in this messed up thing called life.
Kind of a filler-ish chapter, But what do ya think!?!? ;)
Love you guys!
P.s. thanks for the recent comments. I tend to laugh at a lot. you guys are really funny and have quite the imaginations! Xx