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"I love the songs we sang, I love the times we had. I love all the memories you made with me that I can't get back"
~ Loving You (Wild Blue Part I)
OLIVIA
The whole ride to Aria's was weird. Amber and I stayed quiet. I wanted to break the ice and say something, anything. I wanted to apologize, but the words felt wrong to say out loud. So I stayed quiet, too. Her face was stoic the whole ride and I sank further in my seat the more she drove.
When we arrived at Aria's, we got out of the car quietly. The tension was thick and not even the loud crickets could fill the deafening silence.
"I almo-oh Liv! Hi!" Aria squealed, staring at me for a second longer in shock before bringing me into a hug. "I didn't know you were coming."
"Neither did we," Amber mumbled, pushing past us to go inside.
Aria watched her go and turned to me with questioning eyes. "What's wrong with her?"
I sighed. "She knows I've been dodging her. I couldn't even lie to protect her feelings."
Pushing her front locks behind her ear, she let out a breath. "How'd you even run into each other?"
"I was with Hunter at Baskin Robbins," I said, seeing her open the door further and walking in. As she closed the door behind me, I turned to catch her eyeing me. "She was there to pick up ice cream for you guys."
"What did Hunter say?"
Exasperation flooded through me. "What he always says: he hopes I fix it."
"That's sweet."
I chewed on my bottom lip as I forced her words that went in one ear to go out the other. I turned toward the area of the house Amber had walked off to. "What were you guys gonna do tonight?"
She kept eyeing me for a moment longer before letting whatever she wanted to say go. "Ice cream and The Longest Ride."
"Mind if I join?"
She looked me up and down. "Yeah, but you need to change."
"Okay, I can wear my jeans for one night, Aria."
She shook her head firmly. "You can just have one of mine."
My eyes widened. "I am not wearing your PJs. They're all sexualized and I can't even begin to imagine the things you've done wearing them, nor do I want to."
"I can give you a new one," she replied, laughing at me, "plus, it's only Amber and I. What does it matter what your PJs look like? They just can't be jeans is all."
I rolled my eyes at her. "What. Ever. Fine, I'll change."
She clapped her hands and went up to her room. I slowly dragged behind her, my heavy heart not letting me enjoy being here as I always do. When I finally made it to the master bedroom, Aria had already picked out a set of dark teal silky pajama shorts with a silky tank top.
"Aria, how are these pajamas?"
She forced the PJs into my hands and looked at me with an amused smile. "Sorry not all of us sleep in sweats and a shirt. It's hot, stupid, dress accordingly."
I gave her another roll of my eyes. "Only you would talk about "dress accordingly" to bed."
She turned me around and pushed me toward the closet. "Shut up and go change."
"Rude," I quipped but went anyway.
I heard her laugh at me as I changed because she finally got me to wear a set of pajamas. I always brought my sweats and shirts to wear for sleepovers to make sure she couldn't force me into one of her sets. But here I was now, dressed like a model for an advertisement of a pajamas brand.
I look ridiculous. I thought as I folded my clothes and set them aside on her side of the closet. Then I walked out.
"Liv, you have no idea how good you look," she clapped again.
I chortled at her reaction. "Thanks."
"What's wrong?" she said, speaking softer as she walked closer.
"You know what's wrong."
She sighed. "I'm sure you guys will work it out. We've all be friends for way too long to break up. I won't let it happen, alright?"
I nodded, wiping a premature tear away before it could fall. "I just don't wanna lose either of them."
"Oh, Liv," she said, bringing me into a hug, "you won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I'm not. But I have faith in you and I know you'll find a way to keep them both. You'll at least do what's best for you and that's what I care about."
I sniffed, pulling away from the hug. "I just don't get why she didn't give you a hard time when you started dating Abel. She was so happy for you."
"It's because I never subscribed to the whole "men are trash" shit to begin with."
My eyebrows narrowed. "And I did. That's the reason?"
She considered me for a second. "Did?"
"Hmm?"
"You said did," she explained. "You don't subscribe anymore?"
My shoulders fell when I understood what she meant. "I don't know anymore. How can I with Hunter after everything I've seen and experienced with him? But my dad...I can't ever forget his absence."
A sigh left her and she reverted back to the previous topic. "She probably feels like you left her alone. Ignoring her to be with him sends all the wrong messages. If I were her, I would think you've abandoned me and the most important thing we bond on."
I wiped my face to rid it of my tears. "I have to convince her none of that is true. I have to."
She inhaled a large breath and gave me a small smile that seemed forced. "And you should."
I nodded, sniffing once more.
"Come on, let's go back down. She's already down there anyway." She waited for me to come back out of my thoughts before following me out of the master bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen where Amber stood opening a bottle of wine. The air immediately thickened, but Aria was too bubbly for it to stay.
They both got a glass of wine while I chose water. I wanted to be completely sober when I talked to Amber. I needed to say what I had to say. I needed to apologize. I couldn't lose our friendship.
Then we all grabbed our food and settled on the couch. Aria put on Step Up because I argued that we've seen The Longest Ride way too many times to watch it again. So we opted for Step Up.
Amber had chosen the seat between Aria and me. I felt nervous because she wasn't as stoic and cold as she was in the car. She was being herself and I knew that was because Aria was there. She would respond to some things I said, but it would short and to the point, so unlike how we used to talk. My heart was already hurting and the lump in my throat was at the front of my mind as the movie began.
"He's using her to better himself," Amber spoke up in the middle of Step Up, "Just like your man, Hunter."
Her attack made my blood go cold and all I could come up with was, "he's not my man."
"You haven't met Hunter," Aria butted in, protecting him where I failed, "so shouldn't judgments be saved until then?"
Amber shook her head. "Are you kidding? I know more than enough about him. He let her take a week off to take care of him. He's a grown-ass man. What did he so desperately need that she had to risk her chances of getting promoted?"
"Maybe something terrible happened and he needed a friend," Aria tried to reason, even if she didn't know the true reason of why I'd stayed over at Hunter's. "is that so hard to believe? That a man would ask for help without malicious intent?"
Amber nodded like it was basic common sense and it was ridiculous Aria was even asking in the first place.
"Oh come on, Ambs." Putting her glass of wine on the coffee table, Aria sat straighter in her seat, her eyes fixated on Amber. "Please tell me you don't believe that."
"But I do."
"Then what about Abel. You support us, don't you?"
Amber let out a sigh. "I support you. And I know he makes you happy in the way you need. So, yes, I support you two together."
Aria shook her head. "From what I've heard, Hunter is not that different from Abel. He's a stand-up guy."
As Amber started her retort, Hunter rushed into my thoughts. These past few months flashed before my eyes and the tears that flooded my eyes carried the last bit of hope I had for fixing what I thought I needed to fix.
This whole time, he's only treated me with respect. He cared for me. He threaded lightly when I needed it, but gave it to me truthfully and with brutal honesty when I asked his opinion. Sometimes I got it without asking, but even then, I loved it. His smile was infectious and forever etched to my memory. His laugh brought pure joy to my heart. His opinions mattered to me. What he had to say, what he thought about anything mattered.
As I sat there listening to my two best friends argue over him, I felt sick.
Aria didn't know him. She knew only so little, but she was sticking her neck out to defend him. She believed him to be good.
But I knew he was good. I've seen and experienced it first hand. He took on my fatherly issues as if it was his own problem. He took me on without complaint, without any malicious and uncalled for remarks.
He opened up to me in ways that made me feel special. He let me in. He let me help.
He was true to himself, whether I agreed or not and it was inspiring.
"He's a good guy," I finally spoke, my wobbly voice gaining strength toward the end. "He's amazing."
Almost shocked, they both turned to look at me.
I took a deep breath in and continued, "I know you think he's using me, but he's not. Something bad happened and he called me. He just called. I'm the one who took it upon myself to take off work to go "take care" of him. And nothing about what I'm doing is one-sided. When I had a cry over my dad, you know what he did? He tended to me. He listened. He waited until I let it all out and then gave me his honest advice. He helped me. Do you expect me to not try and reciprocate when he needs a hand? Was I supposed to tell him good luck and hang up?
"Is that how little you expect of me?" Tears trickled down my cheeks as the crack in our friendship became clearer the more I spoke.
It was way too prominent and I hadn't even seen it until now.
Amber's eyes softened. "You know that's not what I meant. I expect so much from you, Livvy. I just don't want you to get hurt is all."
I shook my head. "What makes you so sure he will hurt me? I've already hurt him so many times by being an absolute bitch when he deserved anything but. Why are you not scolding me?" My voice boomed over the movie and I could see the utter shock and bit of fear in her eyes.
The utter shock was clear on her face. "Olivia."
Angrily, I wiped at my tears. "I wanted to talk to you tonight, to fix what I thought I'd fucked up. I left Hunter stranded and alone because I thought what we'd built over the years mattered more. But this," I cried, pointing between me and her, "this was never solid, was it? We depended on hating a whole group of people, a group of billions because one person originally fucked us over to build and maintain our friendship. That's why we bonded. That's why we became best friends."
Her eyes widened and she tried to rush to interrupt me, but I was speaking too fast to stop. My fingers weren't fast enough to get all of my tears so I eventually gave up, letting them fall. "I love you. I will always love you. I need you to believe me when I say he is a good man." I had to try. One more time.
"We don't hate a group of people who are innocents, Livvy," she argued and my spirits fell. "they hurt themselves, they hurt children and they hurt us. This isn't news."
I looked to Aria in exasperation and found an understanding in her eyes. She had to deal with the both of us all these years and I couldn't even handle five seconds with Amber.
...but it was Amber. How can I end-I can't even begin to think of finishing that sentence. I needed her in my life; I needed both her and Aria. They were two of the most important relationships in my life. They grounded me.
"But Hunter has never hurt anyone, that's what I'm trying to tell you."
"And I'm telling you, you should know better," she sighed. "You deserve a guy who is sensitive, someone in touch with his emotions. Someone strong and able to handle his issues without having to force you to take time off so you can "help him" whatever that means. You deserve true love."
I cried harder listening to her words. And the crack grew. "So you wouldn't support him and me?"
"No, Olivia. I wouldn't."
"You can't make me choose."
She sniffed, her eyes welling with the tears I knew she was forcing back. "I can, too."
I shook my head, my heart tumbling to the floor. "Please, don't. I need you, Amber. This, our friendship, means so much to me. You're like my big sister. I can't lose you."
"Then choose me."
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(please don't forget to comment and vote. thank you so much for all the support)
- what are your thoughts on this chapter?
- what are your thoughts on Amber/Aria/Olivia and their friendship?
- what are your thoughts on Hunter and Olivia?