Chapter 13 - Raining in Baltimore
“Kell? Kellin? Are you still there?”
Lily is saying my name, but I can’t respond. I’m too busy feeling my world collapse around me.
Matty’s going to die.
"I’ll…talk to you later," I say, hanging up before she can protest and dropping the phone on the floor.
"Kellin, what’s wrong?" Vic asks, taking a step closer to me. "What happened?"
I look away, tears blurring my vision. “Nothing,” I say, my voice coming out cracked.
Matty inhaled too much smoke. He probably won’t live to see tomorrow.
"Kellin, what’s wrong?" Vic repeats, firmer.
I can’t answer him. I can’t even think straight.
He’s going to die. My best fucking friend is going to die.
"Matty," I breathe.
I run out of the room.
"Kellin!" Vic calls as I open the door and rush down the hall. I can hear his footsteps chasing after me, so I run faster, down to the lobby and then out the front door of the hotel, feeling like I’m going to throw up.
Even Matty’s going to leave me now.
It’s pouring down rain outside, but I don’t care. I let it soak through my clothes and into my bones. I let it disguise the tears that won’t stop.
I turn a corner into an alley, and that’s where I collapse on the ground, my chest hurting and my head starting to spin as I sob my fucking heart out. There’s a voice in my head saying, Breathe, Kellin, breathe, but I can’t seem to make myself slow down. My hands and feet are starting to tingle and I feel like I’m going to pass out from hyperventilating so much, just like last night, while Vic was drunk. I can’t stand up, so I lean against the wall of a building, hugging my knees to my chest.
Just when I think everything’s going to be okay.
It’s happening all over again. Matty’s one of the only people I have left, one of the only people who are still here, and now that’s changing. He’s dying, just like Jordan did.
"Kellin!" Vic yells, and then I feel his arms around me.
I shove him away with my shoulder. “Go away,” I snap, curling even farther into myself. “Please.”
He moves away, but I can hear him sitting down next to me. “Kellin,” he says, “talk to me. I want to help you.”
I shake my head, hiding my face in my knees and refusing to look at him. Please pass out, I think desperately through my lightheadedness. Please pass out. Please, dear God, just kill me already.
"Don’t say that."
Fuck. I must’ve said it out loud without even realizing it.
Slowly, I turn my head, starting to calm down slightly. Vic is watching me, completely soaked by the rain but seemingly not caring.
"You’re wet," I say stupidly.
He moves closer to me, putting a hand on my cheek. I don’t smack it away. “So are you,” he replies.
"I’m sorry."
"Don’t be." He puts an arm around me, pulling me into him and letting me rest against his chest. I want to push him away, want to forget about him before he leaves me just like everyone else, but there’s a bigger part of me that just wants to stay with him like this forever.
"Matty’s dying," I admit, closing my eyes. It hurts so much to say that.
"He is?"
I nod. “Lily called me. Said there was a fire. Said he…inhaled a lot of smoke.” The crying that was slowing down starts up again. “Said he might not even make it through the night.”
Vic strokes my hair comfortingly. “Hey, it’s okay,” he says softly. “She said he might not make it through the night. Might. Nothing’s guaranteed. He’s not dead yet. There’s still hope, Kell.”
I want to ask, Is there really? Is there really hope for someone whose life is just a series of losing people?
"Let’s go back," he says quietly, standing up and helping me to my feet. I just nod and go along with what he says, letting him lead me back to the hotel. My mind is still spinning with thoughts of Matty, but I can’t focus on them because all of a sudden, I’m so fucking tired.
When we get to the room, I crawl right into the bed, and Vic crawls in with me, both of us wet and still not caring. “It’s okay,” he whispers as I fall asleep. “I’m here, and Matty is, too, and we’re not leaving you. I promise.”
—
For the first few seconds that I’m awake, I forget. I’m stuck in that I-just-woke-up-and-can’t-think-about-anything-at-the-moment haze. Then, as I rub my eyes and start to become more familiar with my surroundings, everything crashes over my head like a wave.
Vic. The rain. Matty.
I bite my lip and try to think about what Vic said last night—that nothing is guaranteed, that Matty isn’t dead yet, that there’s still hope. His words are what stop me from breaking down all over again. He’ll be okay, I think desperately. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He has to be.
"You’re awake," Vic says, startling me slightly. I glance up at him and find that his eyes are wide open, and he’s staring at me.
I nod slowly, trying to push away the thoughts of Matty. “Did you sleep at all?”
"A little bit."
I bring my hand up to his cheek. “You should sleep.”
He just keeps staring at me, looking almost sad. “It’s not that easy.”
I want to ask him why it’s so hard for him, why he just can’t seem to sleep. I want to know if there’s something in particular that keeps him awake at night. I want to make it go away. I can hear his voice in my head as I’m thinking about this, can hear him singing, “I’m gonna give all my secrets away,” and it suddenly occurs to me that, as real and honest as he is, he hasn’t given them all away just yet. They’re still there in the cracking of his voice and the tears that sometimes form in his eyes. They’re there in the fake smile he gave me yesterday. They’re there in the fact that he can tell me that everything will be okay, but he can’t seem to say the same to himself.
"Try to sleep a bit more," I say softly. "Please."
"Okay," he whispers. He closes his eyes.
—
"Baltimore Aquarium, here we come!" I proclaim as we make our way down the streets of the city. The Baltimore Aquarium is where we’re going to get our next clue, or so Vic and I have concluded after much deliberation. We’re supposed to go to the gift shop, buy a pair of sunglasses, and then "wait for it". We don’t know what we’re waiting for, so this should be interesting.
"Okay," Vic says as we step inside the large aquarium. "Are we gonna explore or get the clue shit over with first?"
I don’t even have to answer him. We exchange glances before both cracking smiles. “Alright,” Vic says. “To the gift shop we go.”
I’m feeling a bit better now after the events of last night, but there’s still the worry that never completely leaves my mind. Vic has a decent point, though, so I just hold onto that.
The aquarium is somewhat busy, but not too crowded. We find the gift shop quickly and then begin searching for a rack of sunglasses, both of us admiring some of the souvenirs before Vic finally says, “Found ‘em.”
He puts on a pair of sunglasses and poses in front of the rack, as if pretending to be a badass or something. I can’t help but laugh a little. “Would you like a leather jacket with that?” I tease.
He sticks his tongue out at me. “Very funny,” he says, taking the sunglasses off. “Let’s go up and pay for these things.”
"This is suspiciously easy and not-humiliating," I say as we make our way up to the young cashier.
"Well, we still have to ‘wait for it’, so I think you have a right to be suspicious," Vic replies, setting the sunglasses down on the counter.
The cashier rings up the sunglasses and gives them back to us without any incident, so Vic and I slowly walk away, finding an empty spot in the shop to stand around and wait.
"Do you think he knew it was me?" I ask. "I mean, lots of people probably buy sunglasses."
Vic shrugs. “Maybe Bree showed them a picture of you or something. I don’t know. All I know is, we’re waiting for something.”
At that moment, someone blows an air horn. Everyone in the shop turns to see the cashier looking pretty self-satisfied as he cups his hands around his mouth, stares straight at me with a little smirk, and calls out, “KELLIN QUINN! CHECK YOUR BUTT!”
"What the hell," I mutter, blushing profusely and taking a glance at my own ass. There’s a piece of paper stuck to it (how the hell did it get there without me noticing?). Embarrassed, I pull it off and look at it. Written in big, bold letters is the word "BOTTOM".
People are giving me amused stares. I raise my eyebrows. Before I can say anything, the cashier looks at Vic and adds, “Handsome companion, check your head.”
Vic narrows his eyes and reaches for his head, which is when I notice a piece of paper stuck in his hair. He pulls it out. This one says “TOP”.
"That part wasn’t originally planned," the cashier adds. "Bree told me to add it in after she saw you guys together at the restaurant. Said she thought you two were traveling together."
Vic and I exchange glances (seriously, how the fuck did we not notice someone putting these papers on us?). Now more people are looking, and those who can see the papers seem to be giving us knowing looks.
Oh. Vic’s a top, I’m a bottom. God fucking dammit.
"Yours is a pun, too, Kellin," the guy says. "It’s the word ‘bottom’…on your bottom. Because you’re a bottom."
That earns some laughter from the spectators. They probably have no idea what the fuck is going on, why this is happening, or who Bree is; they’re just laughing at this incredibly weird, incredibly embarrassing scene.
"In all seriousness, though," the cashier says, pulling out another slip of paper, "here’s what you’re looking for. Have a nice life."
After a moment of letting that whole thing sink in, I head up to the counter and take the clue from him. “Plot twist,” I say, somehow managing to make a sarcastic remark. “I’m the dominant one.”
The cashier just looks at me.
My face heats up even more than it already has been. “Okay,” I say, “yeah, you’re right. I’m not.”
He laughs. “Didn’t think so.”
I rush back to Vic, and we dart out of the gift shop, both of us seemingly torn between feeling humiliated about what just happened and laughing about it. In the end, Vic just says, “Well, he’s not wrong. About, y’know, who’s…the top…and who’s…” He doesn’t even get to the end of his sentence before we’re both laughing and blushing; even he can’t hide that.
"But that’s stupid," I protest through my giggles. "We both know I’m the top in this relationship.”
Vic laughs so loudly that people give us weird looks as they’re walking past us. “Sure, maybe in some alternate universe, but like hell is it true in this one!”
I stick my tongue out at him. “Whatever. Now, are we gonna explore this place or what?”
He takes my hand, shooting me a genuine smile that makes my heart beat faster. “Absolutely. Let’s go admire some fish.”
—
After the aquarium, Vic takes me out to a nice restaurant in Baltimore, and we chat and joke about random shit, both of us smiling and blushing and giggling like your stereotypical schoolgirl. Even with everything that’s been happening, even with that new and constant fear in the back of my mind that Matty’s not going to be okay, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, if only temporarily. It feels like I can just be happy, without anything getting in the way, and it’s been a while since I’ve truly felt that. In fact, I don’t think I’ve really felt that since before Jordan told me he was dying. Ever since that point, every moment was tainted by the knowledge that it wasn’t going to last much longer. But this is different. This…this is a life-changer.
Now it’s late, and Vic and I are back in our hotel room, cuddling in bed with the lights off. Vic is spooning me, his soft breathing next to my ear and one arm around my waist. He starts to plant soft kisses on my neck, biting at it affectionately. I’m not sure he realizes what this does to me.
I let out a quiet sigh, shivering slightly at his lips’ contact with my skin. “You like that?” he says quietly. I don’t know if he meant for it to sound seductive, but that’s how it comes out.
"Mm-hmm," I reply, trying to fall back into my relaxed, sleepy state. It’s not working.
He bites a bit harder. “Maybe you’d like a little more, then?” Okay, that was definitely supposed to sound seductive.
"Yes," I reply, turning around so that I’m facing him. "I would."
Vic smirks, kissing my jawline before nibbling at my ear. Then he goes for my neck again, biting and sucking at the skin, and I tilt my head up, trying not to show how much he’s turning me on. This proves to be difficult.
"Well, looks like I’m not sleeping now," I say, hoping my voice doesn’t betray me.
Vic stops and looks back up. “We might as well have a little fun, then.” That’s when he kisses me.
It’s rough and fast and hot, a hurricane’s kiss. I kiss him back, opening my mouth a bit and letting his tongue take over. He runs one hand underneath my shirt and across my back, using the other one to push me over so that he’s on top of me, never once disconnecting our lips. He grinds down on me, making me gasp a little.
"Your shirt’s coming off now," he states, before smoothly pulling my shirt off and tossing it to the ground. He leans forward to kiss me again, but I smile and lean back, shaking my head.
"Not until your shirt’s off, too," I say.
"Oh, I can do that." He yanks his shirt off in one swift movement, showing off his muscles and tan skin, then grabs my face and kisses me.
I can feel myself growing hard as he presses our fronts together, my lips probably swollen now from the way he’s making out with me. I gasp into his mouth as he touches my bare skin. He shifts his position a bit, then places his hand on my crotch, his lips muffling my soft moan.
Vic breaks the kiss and moves downward, his lips tickling my skin as he brushes them across my body. His hands shift to my hips, and that’s when he looks up at me, a question in his gaze.
And I’m ready. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to tie that knot. I’m ready to break down my walls.
"God, yes," I say. "Please."
With that, Vic undoes my tight jeans and pulls them off, followed by my boxers, and I sigh in relief at the feeling of release. It feels a bit weird to be completely naked in front of him, but I don’t think about that too much. I’m too horny to be thinking a lot.
Vic takes my dick in his hand and strokes it slowly. I close my eyes and bite my lip, but I still end up making a small noise of pleasure. “Ugh,” I moan. “More.”
He moves his hand faster, driving me crazy when he brushes a finger against my tip. Then he takes his hand away suddenly, driving me even more insane.
"Please," I whine.
Vic leans over and grabs some lube from the side table drawer. “I got it one night while you were sleeping,” he explains casually as he coats his fingers with it. “While I was driving, and I stopped for gas.” He flashes me a cocky smile. “I thought, y’know…just in case.”
"Bast—" I try to call him a bastard, but I don’t get to finish, because now Vic is lifting my hips up slightly and sliding one finger inside me.
I tense up slightly as he moves it in and out. I let out a small noise of pleasure when he adds another finger and then stretches them both inside of me. Automatically, I press down on them with my ass, moaning even louder when he starts to stroke my member again at the same time.
"Please," I repeat, my voice coming out breathless. "God, Vic, please.”
Vic pulls his fingers out of me and lets go of my shaft, causing me to whimper. “Please what?” he asks, smirking.
"P-please fuck me." My body is begging for it.
"Of course." Vic quickly unbuttons his pants and tosses them to the floor, along with his boxers. I can’t help but stare as he opens the side table drawers again and grabs the box of condoms that we bought in Salt Lake City. He pulls one out and opens it with his teeth (goddamn, could he get any more hot?), slipping it on easily and then covering it all with lube.
I let him push my legs apart and back. He lines himself up, breathing close to my ear as he pushes in, slow but sure, and it feels incredible.
I arch my back, both of us breathing heavily as he pushes himself the rest of the way in and nearly collapses on top of me, his eyelids fluttering.
"Fuck," I gasp, loosely wrapping my legs around him.
"I-it’s been awhile," he says, and I nod. We lock eyes, seeming to make a silent agreement.
Vic pulls almost the whole way out before thrusting back in, both of us moaning. “Faster,” I plead, burying my fingers in his hair and pulling him down to kiss him. He listens, speeding up and making sounds into my mouth as his tongue plays with mine.
"You’re a bit quiet this time," he teases huskily, grabbing my hips. "I can fix that."
He pounds into me, harder than I expected, and I yell out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. “Oh—my God,” I gasp. “That—”
He cuts me off by repeating his movements, causing me to throw my head back and moan loudly. Then he seems to shift around a bit, thrusting from a different angle. “Oh, fuck,” I cry out. “Do that aga—”
So he does it again, making me scream as he hits a spot inside me that has me coming undone. I buck my hips up, desperate for more, and he groans. “Keep doing that, Kell.”
I bounce them up and down, and he thrusts even faster. “Fuck yes,” he hisses, gripping my hips more tightly. That doesn’t stop me from rotating them around, though, and it’s my best idea yet, causing him to hit that spot again and both of us to yell out.
"Yes, j-just like that," Vic pants, and I can’t help but feel satisfied that I’m making him fall apart, too.
That satisfaction doesn’t last long, though, because he seems to fuck me into the mattress with even more energy. I want to kiss him, but he keeps hitting that spot over and over again, and I can’t stop moaning and whimpering. “Fuck, oh my God, I—holy fucking fuck,” I blurt, my body starting to shake.
"That’s what I like to hear," Vic says, but his breath hitches, betraying him. He’s close, too.
He reaches down and starts to fondle my shaft, the double sensation almost sending me overboard. “Oh—oh,” I moan, dangerously close to my climax.
"That’s it. Say my name," Vic demands, squeezing my shaft with a little more pressure. "Come for me, baby."
As simple as it is, it’s him calling me “baby” that does it for me. “Oh, fuck,” I yell. “Oh my God, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, Vic!” My whole body shudders as I cry out again and again, and as soon as I say his name, Vic comes, too, his voice loud and sexy as he moans and shakes on top of me.
We slow down gradually as we ride out our mutual highs, both of us sweat-soaked and panting. Then Vic pulls out and falls down next to me, smiling breathlessly. “Wow,” he pants. “That was…wow.”
I rest my hand on his toned chest and my head on his shoulder. He runs his fingers through my hair, the way he always does, and kisses me on the cheek. “Do you regret it?” he asks, a sudden worried look crossing his face. “I mean, I know you said you weren’t ready before—and, I mean, with everything that’s—”
I shut him up with a quick kiss on the lips. “Before,” I say. “I said I wasn’t ready before. Believe me, I don’t regret it now.” And it’s the truth.
—
Be Patrick Stump. Wear a fedora and glasses and sing Fall Out Boy songs near Inner Harbor.
This is the clue that has led me to my fate. Vic and I are sitting down on the sidewalk at the edge of the city, close to where Inner Harbor is located. I’m wearing some large, black glasses (that make me look pretty damn good, or so Vic claims), along with a fedora. (I haven’t cut or dyed my hair, though.) Vic is playing his guitar next to me, and I’m singing “Alone Together”.
Surprisingly, people seem to like our little Fall Out Boy medley-thing. They’re even tossing us money, though we’re not asking for any, and no matter how much Vic tries to explain and give it back, some of them insist on us keeping it.
Vic can’t keep his eyes off of me, just like the last time we did this. Even though we’re dating now, I still can’t figure out why he always seems so mesmerized when I sing. I’m not that great, really. My voice is probably a strong four out of ten, at best. But whatever his reasoning may be, I like it, so I don’t say anything about it. I just sing the songs, and I’ll admit—it’s actually kind of fun.
This goes on for a while, and I’m starting to think that we’ll never get our clue when I spot a familiar-looking guy making his way toward us. For a moment, I can’t remember where I’ve seen him before, but then everything suddenly clicks.
It’s Craig.
I falter with the next few lines of the song, and Vic looks up at me, following my gaze. He stops playing completely the second he sees Craig, so I stop singing and grab his hand, linking his fingers with mine.
Before either of us can say anything, Craig stops in front of us, looking a bit shocked when his eyes fall on Vic. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting this, either, but he recovers a lot smoother than Vic does and pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket. “Kellin Quinn?” he asks me. “Otherwise sometimes known as Patrick Stump?”
If it were anyone else, I’d laugh, but because it’s Craig, I just scowl. “Yes,” I say dismissively, squeezing Vic’s hand and taking the paper with my free one.
Craig glances at our fingers, laced together in a more-than-friendly way. “Huh,” he says, as if this doesn’t even faze him. “Let’s see how long this one lasts.”
A mixture of hurt and anger seems to flash across Vic’s face as Craig turns around and walks away. Then Vic turns to me, looking like he’s just seen a ghost. “I…” he starts, apparently unsure of what to say.
I just squeeze his hand again. “You’re not okay, are you?”
Vic bites his lip and shakes his head. “No,” he says softly. “I’m not.” Then his expression seems to harden. He turns toward where Craig can still be seen walking away, and with that, he flips him off.
—
lmao that's right you have to wait until the next chapter for Matty's fate to be revealed hA