Tears streamed down your face when you realized Dean has 30 hours to go. Only 30 hours and then he would be ripped from your arms, your life. Life wouldn't be the same without Dean and the thought of him being in Hell while you lived your life makes you feel guilty as hell. You were nowhere near finding a way to save his life. You weren't in denial, you knew that he would probably be sent to hell but you would try. You would fight for him until his very last breath.
Dean wasn't doing too good lately. You knew the effects of going to Hell was getting to him even if he tried to hide it. He was getting more nightmares and he was starting to panic more often. He knew his time was almost up but he was trying not to show it was bothering him. You could read him like an open book and wished his burden became yours. Because he was getting more and more nightmares, he wasn't sleeping at night which made him a lot more tired in the morning. Which is why he was asleep on the book he was reading at the table in the motel room. You watched his eyes move under his eyelids and knew he was having a nightmare but you couldn't bring yourself to wake him up.
Your heart was breaking at the tight look on his face. Tears wouldn't stop leaving your eyes no matter if you tried to stop them. When he was asleep you were able to let the tears out and let out your pain because you didn't want to worry him when he was awake.
Suddenly Dean shot up right and you forced yourself to stop crying. You wiped your tears away but you knew your red eyes would give you away. Dean breathed heavily and looked around before looking at you.
"Another nightmare?" You asked and he nodded. He looked around to see if anyone else was in the room. Sam was out doing whatever so it left you and him alone.
"Yeah, this time... it was bad." He sighed. He didn't like talking about this with Sam but with you, he did. You had no idea why but you loved it. You loved he could come to you about anything.
"What happened?" You didn't want to know but you knew Dean needed to get it out.
"I was running through the woods and a hellhound was chasing me. It was right on my tail and I knew I wasn't going to get away. I finally got away only for it to appear right in front of me and then it attacked me before I could get away. It killed me and then I woke up." He admitted. As you were listening, you got tears and you couldn't help when they fell. You didn't want this for Dean, you never did.
"I'm sorry." That was all you could say right now.
"Hey don't cry. This isn't your fault." Dean reached over and grabbed your hands.
"You know I love you right? Like a lot. I love you so much." You said through the tears.
"I love you so much," Dean whispered. He didn't say it often and when he did, you knew it meant a lot.
"Then please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." You sobbed, gripping his hands tightly. Dean sighed and looked down, hating this so much. He hated seeing you in so much pain but the one thing he hated more was you dead. You being sad is better than you being dead.
"I don't have a choice, sweetheart." He whispered, clearly in pain.
"I'm not ready. I'm not ready please don't leave me." You sobbed, putting your head on your arms as you sobbed. Dean got tears of his own and brought you closer to him. He pulled you on his lap and you cried into his neck.
"I'm not ready." You repeated.
"No one ever is." He whispered. He rocked you in his seat, smoothing down your hair. Your cries were silenced slowly through his actions. You were heartbroken and nothing could change that. Suddenly the door opened and Sam walked in. One look at you and Dean and he was getting tears of his own.
"Um, did you dig up anything good?" Sam asked, pointing to the book Dean was reading about hellhounds.
"No, nothing good." Dean shook his head. You gripped his shirt and sniffled, turning your head to look at Sam who had information.
"Well, Bobby has. Finally."
"What does he have?" You asked, hiccupping from crying a lot.
"A way to find Lilith."
"Oh, that's great with just," Dean said, looking at his watch. "Thirty hours to go. Hey, why don't we just make a TJ-run, yeah? You know... some senoritas, cervezas, uh, we could... What's Spanish for 'donkey show'?"
"So, if we do save you... Let's never do that." Sam snickered.
"Yeah." Dean nodded.
"Hey, Dean, look, we're cutting it close, I know. But we're gonna get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not gonna go to hell. We're not gonna let you. I swear. Everything's gonna be okay." Sam said more for himself and for you than for Dean.
"Yeah, okay," Dean whispered. You sighed and got up from Dean's lap before walking over to one of the beds and packing your things up. Sam and Dean got the silent message you were giving them and started to pack their bags. You wanted to visit your dad so you were looking forward to seeing him and finally getting some answers.
When you got to your dad's place, you were happy yet sad. You got settled in but he wasted no time letting everyone know what he found. Upon walking into his house, you saw a big map of the United States with a really old looking tracking device on it. You took a seat over by the corner, wanting to be alone right now but you were close enough to see what your dad and the Winchesters were doing.
"So, you need a name, that's the whole kit and caboodle. With the right name, right ritual, ain't nothing you can't suss out." Bobby explained how the tracking device worked.
"How do you even know Lilith is in the United States?" You asked.
"I've seen numerous demonic activity going on around the country. Trust me, if Dean is here, she won't be leaving the country." Bobby said before turning back to the map.
"So, you'll know the town Lilith's in?" Sam asked.
"Kid, when I get done, we'll know the street," Bobby said confidently. He started the ritual, saying the spell or chant. As soon as he started chanting, the pendulum started to swing. The pendulum searched all over the map as your dad chanted but soon stopped over a specific spot. Bobby stopped chanting and looked at the spot the pendulum stopped on.
"New Harmony, Indiana." You sighed and looked at the table in front of you. Without Sam or Dean knowing, you've been looking at spell books to practice your witchcraft when you found a book of easy spells. Since they were found online, you didn't know if it would work but you tried it anyway only to find out they did work and you thought of one spell you never tried but wanted to now.
You noticed a few books on the table and stared at one of them. You focused on the atoms the book was made of and concentrated on turning them invisible. You wanted to try an invisibility spell since you found the book and decided to do it now. You closed your eyes and focused on the book before whispering the word.
"Invisique." You opened your eyes only to see the book gone. You reached out to where it was and picked it up. It was still there but it was invisible.
"How did you do that?" You looked over to the three men staring at you. You dropped the book and you lost concentration which made it visible.
"Oh, well, I read a book online about some spells. I didn't think it would work."
"Have you been practicing?" Dean asked.
"Yeah, I have."
"How come you hadn't told us?" Sam asked.
"I didn't think it was useful. I was still new and some spells didn't work. But I don't care if I'm good or not. We can use it to save Dean. I can use it on us and we can walk right into demon territory undetected. It's worth a shot, right?" You said, getting up from your seat.
"Yeah, that's good. Okay, let's go." Sam said, turning around but Dean stopped him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Let's all shut up there, Tex."
"What's the problem?"
"What's the problem? Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked. Okay. Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn't this the same Lilith that wants yours and my girlfriend's head on a pike? Should I continue?"
"Ain't you just bringing down the room." Bobby scoffed.
"Yeah, well, it's a gift."
"I'm sorry, so then what are we supposed to do, Dean?" Sam asked, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Just because I gotta die doesn't mean you and everyone else has to, okay. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."
"Okay, fine. If that's the case I have the answer." Sam said knowingly.
"You do?" Dean asked suspiciously.
"No, Sam. We're not doing that." You said because you knew what he was talking about.
"Yeah. A sure-fire way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu." Sam nodded.
"Damn it, Sam, no," Dean said, understanding what Sam meant.
"We're so past arguing. Dean, I am summoning Ruby." Sam argued. Dean scoffed and got in his face because Dean was pissed about this.
"The hell you are! We have enough problems as it is!"
"Exactly and we've got no time and no choice either." Sam.
"Sam, she can't be trusted and you know this!" You exclaimed.
"Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay. She told you that she could save me, huh—lie. She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention, oh right—Lilith owns my soul!" Dean yelled.
"Okay, fine. She's a liar. She's still got that knife." Sam made a point.
"For all we know, she works for Lilith," Dean argued.
"Then give me another option, Dean. I mean, tell me what else." Sam sighed.
"Sam's right," Bobby added.
"NO! DAMN IT!" Dean screamed. You were against the idea as well but that surprised you. You jumped at his
voice but you knew he was stressed and didn't mean to yell. Everyone looked at him surprised.
"Just no. We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys wanna save me, find something else." Dean said, ending the conversation. He sat back down and everyone sighed before your dad grabbed his jacket.
"Where are you going, Bobby?" Sam asked.
"I guess to," he started, throwing his arm out. "Find something else."
Bobby turned and left his house with an unhappy face. You and the brothers sat in silence before you thought of something.
"Wait, maybe we do summon her."
"Are you out of your mind? Did you hear what I just said?" Dean asked you.
"I heard you. I'm just saying maybe we summon her. Make it seem like you're pissed at Sam for doing it, make Ruby believe you're really pissed. Sam asks her for the knife which I know she will have on her because she wouldn't just leave it unattended. You start a fight with her and she throws a few punches and you throw a few punches. In the midst of it all, take the knife off her when her guard is down. Obviously, we'll put a devil's trap on the ceiling but we have to make it big enough because there'll be a fight and she'll probably throw you around. Then we leave her there after we steal her knife." You looked between brothers and Dean sighed.
"This is still very risky."
"But it's better than sitting here with our thumbs in our asses for the next 25 hours."
"She's right Dean." Sam sided with you.
"Fine. Get it all set up." Dean grumbled. Sam nodded and grabbed his duffel bag before walking down to the basement.
"Dean, we're going to try everything in our power to save you. But I'm not in denial, I know the odds aren't in our favor. Just promise me one thing." You sighed and he took a few steps to you.
"What?"
"Promise me you'll fight. You'll fight harder than you have ever fought before. I don't know exactly what goes on down there but I know it isn't good." You sighed.
"Okay, I'll promise that if you promise me one thing."
"What is it?" You asked.
"Live your life. Don't spend forever by yourself. I want you to date other men and fall in love. Live it how you want to and if you can get out of hunting. It's a brutal life and you deserve so much more." Tears welled up in your eyes.
"You deserve better too." You whispered, not promising him because you couldn't. You would be too heartbroken to move on so easily.
"Okay! We're ready!" Sam yelled from downstairs. You sighed and moved away from Dean, walking downstairs. You would be with Sam so it would be more believable to Ruby that you went behind his back.