Shawn had been mentally preparing himself for every possible reaction Jean might have upon waking up in his bed that morning with no coherent memory of the previous night. He accepted that she might attack him, or at the very least yell at him. He sat up most the night waiting for the cops to bust down the door and arrest him for kidnapping, so it was a pleasant surprise for him to discover that Jean was actually a very reasonable person, and didn't freak out as she very rightly should have.
He was, however, not expecting Jean to flee his vehicle upon watching the video. It was clear she was in a state of shock. He watched as she slowly walked across the parking lot towards the empty building, her hands over her mouth as she was clearly processing the very disturbing images of herself that she just saw.
She looked completely petrified. It was clear she was so wrapped up in her own head she didn't know where she was or what she was doing
Teaching high school, Shawn had seen all sorts of meltdowns. He dealt with girls on a daily basis who hadn't learned how to handle their emotions yet. However, this was different. She was losing it. She must have been closer to the edge than she had let on, and this pushed her directly over. He wasn't completely sure what the right move was here, but he knew he had to do something.
"Jean?" Shawn called, running a few strides to catch up to her. She didn't stop walking, and he jogged until he was in front of her, putting his hands on the sides of her arms to stop her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said quickly, as if she had forgotten he was there all along. Her voice was high-pitched and she waved him off. Her breathing was deep and she covered her mouth with her hands to try to stop it. "I'm sorry....I just...need a...second." She could barely get the words out between each breath.
"Take your time," Shawn said, backing away from her as she turned back towards the car. She started to pace back and forth, her hands still over her mouth and nose as she tried to steady her breathing. Shawn could feel his own hands starting to shake, but he knew he had to keep it cool for the both of them.
Lord, help me. Help her, mostly. Help us both.
She was completely consumed by whatever was playing in her head. Shawn had seen the video too, but he couldn't imagine being on the other side of it, watching yourself having zero control and having no recollection of it. Her actions were enough to gather a crowd around her, so he couldn't imagine what was going through her head now.
Jean glanced back up at Shawn, again, looking surprised that he was there. "I'm sorry, I don't know why," she laughed to herself. "Don't know why I got out of the car." Her breathing was still unsteady. "Let's just go."
"No, you're fine," Shawn said, although he was certain she wasn't. He was afraid to move. "Take your time, I have nowhere to be." Except church, but he gathered this was an extremely valid excuse to miss.
"No, I'm being stupid," she said, waving him over and heading back towards the car. She tried to open the passenger door, but Shawn knew the lock was busted and wouldn't open without the key. She wasn't seeming to understand why the door wasn't opening and kept trying at the handle. When it wouldn't open, she put her hands back over her face.
Shawn walked up behind her and stopped a few feet back to not startle her.
"Jean," he said, certain she wouldn't hear him. She took him by surprise when she spun around to face him.
"Tell me this isn't real," she said, tears flooding into her eyes. "Please tell me this isn't real."
Shawn stood frozen, his heart breaking for the girl from the coffee shop who he barely knew. "It's real, but I promise, it's going to be okay."
It must not have been the right answer, or maybe it didn't matter how he responded, because right then she covered her face with her hands and broke down into sobs.
Before he could think about the fact that he barely knew her, or about what was socially acceptable, or his priority of finally getting this girl home, he found himself stepping forward and pulling her into his arms. The instant Jean's arms gripped around him, Shawn knew that he was all she needed in that moment.
He didn't let her go until he felt her breathing steady. He slowly pulled back so he could see her face, and she moved her hands back inside to wipe her face on her sleeves.
"I ruined your sweatshirt," she choked out, as Shawn looked to see the remainder of her makeup was smeared across his gray hoodie. He chuckled softly as he looked down at her.
"I'm not worried at all," he moved so he had one arm around her shoulders and took the key out of his pocket. He dug it into the passenger door. "Sorry, this lock can be finicky."
He opened the door for her and waited for her to sit down inside. He removed his hoodie and handed it to her.
"Forgot the tissue box, but just use this," he said with a smile.
She laughed through her tears and took the hoodie from him. "Thank you."
When he closed the door on her and started walking around the hood of the car towards the driver's side, he felt all the air escape from his lungs. He had no idea he was holding his breath. He looked to a sky for a moment and whispered his gratitude; it was by God's grace that this morning hadn't taken a tragic turn for the worst as it more than likely should have.
After Jean gave Shawn her address, he was able to find her apartment rather quickly. She didn't live in the best part of town, but it wasn't the worst either. He wondered if she lived by herself.
He put the car in park and she turned to him. Shawn wasn't sure how to say goodbye in this type of situation. How do you part ways with a stranger who spent the night at your house and shared a very personal, intimate moment with in an empty parking lot?
"Let me see your phone," Shawn said, knowing that his story with Jean was far from over. Jean didn't hesitate to hand it over to him. He put his number into her contact information and handed it back to her.
"You have my number if you ever need anything," Shawn said. "Or you can just ignore it if you'd rather forget this entire weekend existed. Completely up to you." He smiled at her. "Just know, this whole thing will blow over, and you will be okay."
Jean could feel the tears at her eyes again, and she knew she had to go. She smiled that weak smile at him.
"Thank you, Shawn. For everything." She gathered her things in her arms, as well as his sweatshirt, and headed towards her apartment. Shawn waited until she disappeared from view.
He had the feeling this would not be the last he saw of Jeanette Arthur.
***
Jean wasn't even home for five minutes when Jasmine started pounding on her door. Jean thought about not answering it, but she knew Jasmine was more stubborn than her and wouldn't give up. She unlocked the door, but didn't give her the satisfaction of opening it.
Jean had her back turned when she heard her front door slam.
"Are you serious?" Jasmine yelled, making Jean whip around at her accusatory tone. "I called you over and over, texted you, and you didn't respond. Do you know how worried I was?"
Jean narrowed her eyes at her, and pointed to herself, her own rage rising to an unsafe level. "I'm sorry," Jean said sarcastically. "My phone was left at the bar that you abandoned me at!"
"Abandon you?" Jasmine asked. "I was vomiting in the bathroom as soon as I got there. I begged you to leave, but you kept refusing. Bret did too. He said you would just take a cab home with him."
Jean had absolutely no memory. She couldn't believe it was true, but nothing from the night before was proving to be believable. It didn't matter-what Jasmine did was unforgivable, and she let all the discomfort that she held inside with Shawn all morning transform into pure rage.
"You should have forced me to leave!" Jean said, pounding her fist into her hand for emphasis. "You left me at a college bar drunk out of my mind. I don't remember anything that happened last night. Anything could have happened to me!"
"Believe me, I tried!" Jasmine yelled back. "What was I going to do, drag you out?"
Jean held up her phone. "Shawn Lewis had it figured out!" She felt sick when she thought of the video, and she tossed it to the couch next to her.
Jasmine was quiet for a moment and she walked over to the couch and sat down. "Last night was a mistake, I think we both drank too much."
Jean crossed her arms. "My memory is completely absent, Jasmine. I was most likely drugged."
Jasmine looked at her. "Don't say that, that's not funny."
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it to be true."
"What do you mean?" Jasmine asked, her anger turning into concern. It was clear she was naive and didn't think these things actually happened to people. "Like...a date-rape drug?"
Jean shrugged and put her hands in the air. "Watch that video of me and tell me I'm just drunk. I don't remember anything past walking into the bar. I don't remember you leaving. All I know is I walked into a bar, and then I woke up at Shawn Lewis' house. The rest is all fill in the blank."
"No," Jasmine said. "We were talking. You were...I thought..."
She stopped and put her hands over her face and started to cry. Jean turned away, not in the mood to comfort her. How could she leave her there when she never even wanted to come in the first place?
"I thought you'd be okay with Bret," Jasmine cried, sitting on the couch and rocking herself back and forth. "He was Doug's friend, and Doug told me you guys would be fine, and I was so sick and you kept telling me no. I didn't want to leave you there, but I didn't know what to do."
Jean felt like yelling some more. She wanted to tell Jasmine that she would never go anywhere with her again, and that everything that had transpired was because of her, and how Doug has some creepy friends and that she should rethink their relationship, but she didn't. Instead, Jean felt her defenses melting, and she took a deep breath before walking over to the couch and sitting beside Jasmine.
"I'm so sorry," Jasmine cried, burying her face in Jean's shoulder. "It's all my fault."
"No," Jean said, setting aside her pride and putting her arms around Jasmine. She pulled her shoulders back so she was forced to look at her. "I chose to drink as much as I did before the bar. I knew I was letting my defenses down." She shook her head wide so Jasmine would comprehend. "Do not blame yourself. You thought I was in good hands."
Jasmine's eyes were swollen and red and she started sobbing all over again. "Yeah, but-"
"Jasmine, it's okay," Jean said. Somehow calming Jasmine down was helping calm the storm that was raging within herself. "As far as I know, I wasn't hurt. It was a blessing Shawn was there. I'm back home, I have all my stuff, and we can move on and learn from this."
Jasmine rubbed her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt. "Yeah, where did Shawn Lewis come from?"
"I don't know."
Jasmine laughed through her tears. "That video was the hottest thing I've ever seen."
"Hottest?!"
Jasmine continued to laugh, a comic relief to all this emotion coursing through them. "Did you not watch the video?"
Jean closed her eyes. "I can't watch it again, it makes me sick."
"Like the ending," Jasmine said, standing up. "Like, you're being told to leave, and nobody's doing anything, and Shawn just appears out of nowhere and throws you his shoulder like it's the easiest thing in the world and marched you out of there." She moved across the family room, reenacting the entire scene. Jean couldn't help but laugh in response to Jasmine's excitement, even though she felt like her entire world was crumbling in on itself.
"Just watch that part again," Jasmine said, pulling out her phone.
"No," Jean said, her smile evaporating. "No, I can't, not yet." It still made her stomach turn to know she was the rag doll causing a mob to form. She couldn't handle it right now. It didn't matter how cool Shawn looked.
Jasmine put her phone back down. "Okay, but you need to tell me how Shawn Lewis has suddenly become a figure in your life."
All Jean wanted to do was to take a shower and curl up in her bed and sleep this entire day away, but she knew that Jasmine wouldn't be let down that easy. So she started with the coffee shop and told her how she woke up in the bedroom she didn't recognize. She included all the details of finding him on the porch, how he still reads the paper. She talked about how he somehow charmed the bar worker into letting him inside to get her purse, and then how she turned into a psychopath and he hugged her.
"You're going to get married," Jasmine said, looking as if she was about to start jumping up and down with delight. "This is the best thing ever."
"No," Jean said, getting a headache from Jasmine's mood swings. "I just broke up with Anthony, and he more than likely has a girlfriend."
"Anthony and you broke up six months ago, and he's engaged." Ouch. "And I can find out in thirty seconds if Shawn has a girlfriend."
"Please don't, I'll probably never see the guy again. He would never be interested in a girl like me anyways."
"Did you get his number or anything?" Jasmine asked.
Jean hesitated to answer, and Jasmine figured out her answer.
"Destiny," she said.
Jean's head pounded. She couldn't even think of that right now. Right now she needed to figure out how to get this video off of the internet before it ruined her life.
***
Shawn returned home, feeling relieved that he didn't get any charges pressed against him this weekend and that Jean was finally home safe.
As he pulled into the driveway, Tyler, Scottie, and Zeiler were getting out of the car. Zeiler was wearing a sundress and looked like she was freezing, Scottie in a t-shirt and jeans and Tyler in a jacket. Scottie turned towards Shawn's car with his arms outstretched.
"What gives?" Scottie yelled. "We saved you two seats!"
Shawn laughed as he crossed his arms against the cold as he walked towards the front door. "Sorry, I didn't feel the spirit's prompting to invite her to church this morning," he said sarcastically.
Tyler shook his head. "Unacceptable. You said anyone who spends the night has to attend church in the morning. Glad to know your word is meaningless."
Shawn slammed Tyler against the wall, who laughed as he put his arms up in defense. Zeiler ignored all of them shoved her key in the lock.
"Ridiculous, it's almost June. It's warm all week and then the day I want to wear my dress it drops 30 degrees."
"Welcome to the Midwest," Shawn said, waiting for her to unlock the door. She stormed inside and went straight to Tyler's bedroom.
"So," Tyler said, having a seat on the couch and looking at Shawn. "I heard all about your debacle last night. Saw the video too."
Shawn cringed when he remembered Jean's reaction. He wondered how many people had seen it at this point.
"Should have been here," Scottie said. "The girl was throwing up. Shawn looked terrified the entire time. Then she crawled in his bed and Shawnie had to sleep on the couch."
Tyler shook his head. "Only you, Shawn. Seriously."
Shawn couldn't disagree with him. Jesus had a way of making his life very interesting.
Zeiler came back in the room, still wearing her sundress, but now with Tyler's sweatpants tucked underneath the skirt and a crewneck over her.
"You're running out of comfy clothes, Ty," Zeiler said, falling into the couch next to him.
"I wonder why," Tyler said sarcastically.
"We might have given some to Jeanette," Zeiler said. "She was wearing revealing clothes and she smelled like vodka. I didn't want Scottie getting any ideas."
Scottie scoffed as he stared at his phone. "You think so highly of me."
Tyler wrapped an arm around Zeiler. "It's cool with me. They're basically your clothes at this point anyways."
"True," Zeiler said, staring across the room at the wall. "I gave her the good hoodie too. What was I thinking?"
"The one with the fleece inside?"
"Yeah."
"Wow, you messed up."
Shawn watched as Tyler kissed the side of her head and she smiled.
"Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll bring the clothes back," Shawn said, shrugging.
Tyler and Zeiler both shook their head simultaneously. "Nope," Tyler said. "If you had that hoodie, you would change your identity before giving it back."
"No exaggeration," Zeiler said. "I would have gifted that to baby Jesus himself."
Shawn knew in his soul that he would be seeing more of Jeannette Arthur. He knew it from the first time he saw her. If he had been a ten seconds earlier or later that night he broke things off with Megan, he would have missed her. If he had never seen her crying, he probably wouldn't have thought twice about her the day he saw her at the coffee shop. Had he not talked to her that day, he might not have had the courage to do what he did last night at the bar. God has set the entire thing up. Of course, maybe it was just because she would need saving that night, and this was where their story ended.
If that was it, then God's will be done, but if not, he would be still and wait for the rest of their story to unfold.
____________________________________
Fun fact: 9 years ago I was 16 and had major rib/ sternum surgery. Like, 4 real, THEY BROKE ALL THE BONES IN MY TORSO. GROSS. I was in the ICU for a week and could barely move. It was then that Jean and Shawn came to my mind and I began writing their story.
Originally, my story was about homeless people. Shawn was a homeless teen and Jean was a runaway escaping domestic violence. Jean gets mugged but Shawn helps her but then was all "DA STREETS ARE NO PLACE 4 U GO HOME ." and they hated each other at first then fall in love. Also, I spelled Shawn like "Sean" which was so stupid because it was just like "Jean." I was 4 real dumb.
It's been nearly a decade, Jesus has transformed my life and I've transformed this story. It took me all these years, but as I've altered this plot over and over and over, I now know that Shawn was never meant to be Jean's savior. Jesus was. He's the only one that can fulfill and sustain. Jesus uses Shawn to get to Jean, because Shawn is always saying yes to God. and of course jeAN AND SHAWN still fall in love if that wasn't already GLARINGLY OBVIOUS. If it wasn't, CAUTION SPOILERS.
My priorities in life were always
1. Find true love
2. Seek God
If that sounds like you, you're not alone. Many, many people struggle with this. I still do sometimes. But friend, flip those numbers. Seek God first and see how he transforms your life. See the incredible places he leads you. Discover the life Jesus has planned for you that's beyond anything you could ever imagine for yourself. A life intricately shaped around the desires of your heart and your deepest passions that Jesus knows better than you even know yourself. Let him blow you away.
It might not always be easy. Following Jesus will always cost you something, but it is always, always worth it.
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."
Ephesians 3:16-20 NLT