Chapter 9
Phil's POV
September 29th 2009
Three weeks until Dan was here! Holy crap! The night he told me I didn't believe him. I thought he was pulling a prank on me and trying to get my hopes up. It wasn't until he rung his friend and got him to tell me over the phone that it actually sunk in that he wasn't lying to me. I was actually going to meet the person who made me the happiest I have ever been! It felt a bit like a dream; this whole thing! I felt as though I was going to go to bed tonight and wake up in reality as sad twenty year old Phil stuck in a dead end job at WHSmith with chocolate oranges being lobbed at my head. Right now I was walking on air.
Since the first mention of the day Dan and I have not stopped planning. Dan was due to get the 11:30am train from Kings Cross, it was a two and a bit hour journey so this would be the time I would leave the house so I knew I would get to Manchester, definitely in time for Dan. Rossendale may only be a forty minute drive but I wasn't taking any chances. We decided not meeting in the station itself as it wasn't exactly a private, beautiful surrounding. Instead we had decided to choose the Starbucks that was about a ten minute walk away as it was a lot smaller, a lot more private and allowed us to talk and hug as much as we wanted without people staring and bumping into us whilst rushing for a train.
My heart raced just thinking about it. I would finally be able to meet my best friend. I don't think Dan even knew how much he meant to me now. Within the last four months we'd known each other, my life has only improved. There has been no monster pulling me into the darkness of failure; only angels singing and welcoming me into a world of happiness. Dan had changed me in a way that I could never thank him enough for. Before speaking to him I was disappointed in everything I had done, including my YouTube channel. I felt as though I was never putting enough effort into it; that I never really cared. But now, because of that crappy channel I had met Dan and I felt I had to bring that channel up to the same amount of brilliance he was. Within these last few weeks I have put so much effort into my channel. Videos were going up regularly and so many new people were subscribing, all because a boy with a similar haircut to mine decided I was interesting enough to talk to.
Now that I had my degree from university I was allowed to put up my final piece on my YouTube. Obviously the video was already edited and colour corrected, it was all a case now of actually uploading it and making it public.
The only issue is; I'm not sure if I want to. This video is so different compared to stuff I had done. On AmazingPhil I was 'cute' and 'innocent', the guy who had a stuffed lion toy as a friend and didn't swear; but this video showed the complete opposite of that. I'm not saying I looked good or sexy in it, but I definitely didn't look cute and innocent. My mind was juggling between the two choices. I placed my head in my hands and internally groaned. Why was this so difficult? I was proud of the video and wanted to share it! Why did it matter that it wasn't my usual style? It didn't was the answer to that; but my brain was still indecisive.
A sudden flash of genius flowed through my head as my phone lit up with the arrival of a text off Dan. I hastily opened my phone to read the message;
Dan: PHIIIILLLL!!! I'm booooorrrreeeedddd! Talk to meeee!!! I need entertainment!
I laughed and shook my head, sometimes he was such a child.
Me: Ok, My computer's turned on so Skype away!
Within thirty seconds of sending the message Dan's icon appeared showing me he was calling. I quickly turned to the mirror opposite me to check my hair. I pushed my fringe out of my eyes and ruffled it a bit before turning to face the screen and answering the call.
I was greeted with Dan hanging upside down of his bed. "You ok there monkey man?" I laughed. He greeted me with mokey noises before losing grip of the bed and falling flat on his face right in front of me. I burst into a fit of laughter as he face planted the floor; he looked at me through his squinty eyes and I began to laugh even more as his face turned a deep shade of red. He pulled himself upright and placed the laptop on his bed whilst sitting crossed legged on the floor facing me. He still wasn't looking at me in the eye because I would probably start laughing again and embarrass him even more. "Well I'm glad your entertained." He mumbled whilst looking down at the floor, "I was trying my best to impress you with my monkey skills." A small smirk came across his lips before he flipped his fringe out of his eyesight and looked up at me. I felt a sudden chill run over me and I was faced with his chocolate orbs looking right into mine. "The most important question is," he continued, "do I still look good?"
I laughed again, "No you're ok!" I smiled at him, "You're still your beautiful self." I winked at him in a jokily way but I could see him blushing from the compliment. "Oh shush!" he stuck his tongue out at me, "Anyway! You were supposed to entertain me! Instead it was the other way round!" He pointed at me, "So you good sir, must now fall flat on your face so I can laugh at it!"
"Na I'm good!" I laughed back.
"Why not?" he questioned, "It's only fair."
"Because I'm a responsible adult and not a silly child who hangs off his bed." I stuck my tongue out at him to show how 'mature' I was. He grumbled before turning to me, "Well than I expect a free Starbucks off of you to call it even. Deal?" he stuck his hand out towards the screen to prove a point. I pretended to grab it and shake back, "Deal." Dan looked me back in the eye and smiled, "I honestly can't wait until I can actually, physically, shake your hand."
"It's just three weeks away. That's not too bad."
"Yeah...but that's not soon enough in my opinion." Dan whined, "I want to know the feel of my best friend. You know? I want to be able to physically touch you and feel your warm arms in a hug." He sighed, "Yes we've already waited four months for this moment, but Phil; I can't wait anymore. These next three weeks will be torture all because it will be so close, but so far."
If I could jump through the screen right now and hug him, I would. He sounded so sad and I hadn't even helped him anyway! I should be the one getting emotional and confessing all of this.
I could feel my eyes welling up a little as Dan continued, "Phil, honestly I don't think you realise how much you mean to me. I've never had a friend, heck a best friend as close as you! People always prefer others over me, I'm not exactly the most likeable person and yet here you are looking at me in admiration when I'm absolutely nothing special. I'm a flawed human being who is anything but perfection but yet you still choose to acknowledge and listen to me. You're one of the first people to do this to me; sure I have friends here who I love dearly but I never feel so close to them that I'd be able to tell them half the stuff I tell you! Take the night Chris told me about coming to Manchester for example, they all had their someone special with them and as much fun as it was to hang out with them, I felt as though it wouldn't matter that much if I wasn't there. You are the only person I have met that enjoys my company all the time and never gets sick of me; now correct me if I'm wrong, but whenever I talk to you or see you; I feel as though you want me. That it would matter if I wasn't here." He looked back up at me, "Phil I can't wait to see you." He pulled a small grin and looked me in the eyes.
I honestly had no reply to this; my mouth way dry from trying to hold back the tears so even if words did form in my brain, they wouldn't be able to escape. I tried to speak and form my feelings into words but nothing was coming to mind. I screwed up my eyes and grinned whilst lifting my face to the ceiling, in my mind I was praying to find the right way to show Dan just how much he meant to me. Suddenly I was hit with an idea; I turned back to face Dan. I looked straight into his eyes and a small smile appeared on mine and his lips. With my two index fingers I formed a small heart and placed it around the webcam causing an outline of a heart to appear around my face. I didn't break eye contact with him as I pulled the small shape towards my heart. I could feel my cheeks blushing as I looked down towards my small hand heart and whispered, "thank you Dan." I patted my heart with the hands as I turned to look back up at him. I could see a few tears shimmering in his eyes, "Dry those eyes Dan, I was trying to make a happy moment." He let out a small laugh as he pulled his jumper sleeve over his hand and gently wiped the tears out of his eyes.
"I blame you for this." He joked back before turning to me, "Thank you Phil."
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After our little heartfelt moment Dan and I's conversation turned back to the normal conversations we had. We discussed Radiohead's latest single and the artwork on the cover which I personally thought was amazing! Having so many shared passions with Dan made it so easy for conversations to flow and allowed me to ask his opinions on so many things; including one of the biggest issues I was facing at the moment.
"Ok, Dan, can I ask your opinion on something?" He turned to face me when he heard the slight worry and seriousness in my voice.
"Um, yeah sure." He looked at me confusingly as I copied a link out of my internet tab and sent it to him through the text chat. "Ok," I started, "This is what I made for my final assignment for university; do you think I should upload it to AmazingPhil?"
Dan adjusted his eyes as he clicked the link and it appeared. He held up one finger to me to show he'll analyse it. I held my breath as I watched his facial expression changed as he started to watch. He dark eyes grew wider as he bought a hand up to him mouth. He bit one of his fingers as I could hear the music from the video muffle in the background. Throughout the video his eyes grew wider which I thought was a good sign but I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I prayed he liked it; if he did than I expect others will too.
As I heard the muffled noises of the music fade I let out a shaky breath preparing myself for his opinions. Dan slowly turned to face me with an expressionless face. His eyes were still wide and he was now biting his lip instead of his hand. I looked at him waiting for an answer but his silence was scaring me a little. "Please say something before I faint from the anticipation!" I let out in one breath. Dan blinked several times before acknowledging I actually spoke. He clicked his mouse a few times before looking me in the eyes. "Phil..."he spoke with a bit of disbelief in his voice, "Wow... just wow..." He lowered his hands down to his lap and looked down at them; he whispered in a shy voice, "that was amazing, so different from anything else I've seen from you. When you told me during the makings of it that it was different to your usual stuff, I wasn't expecting that. That has let me see you in a whole new light." He let out in a small laugh, "and in the most heterosexual way possible, ish; you look damn sexy in it!" He laughed a little louder before looking up at me. I was laughing back now as he winked and raised an eyebrow at me in a 'flirtatious' way. He's such a dork.
"So you liked it then?" I asked as the laughter from the both of us died down. He nodded whilst biting his lip. I smiled and continued, "Do you think people will like it?" I sounded more serious this time because I genuinely wanted people to see it and like it. "Phil," he stated sounding a lot more serious this time, "People love you for you. Whether that's the cute innocent you on AmazingPhil or this sexual beast." I blushed at the compliment (well I guess it was a compliment) as he continued, "So it doesn't matter if it's different. It's you! As long as your happy with it then I'm sure me, your friend, anyone who sees it; will be happy with it to." He gave a firm nod to prove his point whilst folding his arms. "So I better see that video appear in my subs, you hear me?"
"Sir! Yes sir!" I laughed as I saluted him trying my best to look as serious as possible. Instead that had me squirming from trying to hold in a laugh as Dan pulled a funny face and I let out a massive snort of laughter. I sounded horrific! Like a pig getting excited for its dinner! Dan's eyes grew wide at the sight of me curled up in a ball in a fit of laughter; I must have looked like a mentalist. Within seconds he was laughing back and within five minutes we were out of breath.
Dan was the first to quieten down and wiped his brow from the few beads of sweat that had formed from laughing so much. We couldn't look at each other for a few seconds because we knew it would set us off again. I took a few deep breaths before turning to face Dan again to see him smiling straight at me. His eyes were locked in place with mine and I felt another tingle run through my body. I could feel my cheeks turning red as I ducked my head down and fiddled with a bracelet round my wrist. "You know you're my favourite person right?" Dan's smooth voice filled my ears and I felt my cheeks blushing even more. I took a sneaky glance up at him to see him pulling a small smile in my direction. He's single dimple highlighting the happiness he had. I studied his face further taking in extra details I could keep in mind until I saw them for real. He had a few freckles on his nose and the odd mole on each cheek. I wanted to reach into the screen and prod each one. The thought made me let out a small giggle to which Dan smiled even more, letting the dimple deepen into his cheek, "What are you laughing at?"
"I was just imagining what it will be like to see your face for the first time for real. If you don't mind, I want to touch it." I smirked as he let out a small laugh, "I want to play connect the dots with the freckles on your face." Dan smiled even more at me and laughed, "Ok, but only if I can hug you so tight you'll have to catch your breath."
"Deal." I pulled a small smile before realising what the time was; "Shit! Dan I better go, I still need to film another video and upload the one I sent you. Speak to you in a bit yeah?"
"Of course!" I waved him a goodbye and he saluted me off. I laughed at him as the signal cut off. Again, he was such a dork...
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