Considering I'm the farthest thing from being a morning person, I'm in shock that it's 7:00 am and Harry and I've already christened the en suite. And now instead of going back to bed we're preparing to get ready for our day. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't exhausted, but I think the excitement from the trip is helping me push through it.
We quickly put some clothes on before we Facetime Sam and the girls. Although they should be in bed right now, Harry and I both know that Sam and Niall are doing their best at being the fun aunt and uncle, letting them stay up as late as they want. Whatever the case, it's the perfect opportunity to call them with the huge time difference between London and LA.
Both of their smiling faces light up the screen, and they look like they're having the time of their lives. It's hardly been 24 hours since we left, and Niall and Sam already took them to Disneyland as promised. They go on and on about it for a good 15 minutes, not once stopping to take a good breath. Both trying to tell us their favorite things; they continue interrupting each other because they're so excited.
Under normal circumstances I would correct them for rudely speaking over someone else, but it's hard to stop the chatter seeing how happy they are. I don't know how to properly put into words how it feels to see the pure joy on my childrens' faces. It's indescribable; all I know is that I wouldn't trade it for the world.
"Girls we have to get going, but I love and miss you so much."
Harry snatches the phone from my hand.
"Be good while we're gone. Puddin', make sure you're reading twenty minutes a day. And Sunshine if you need help with your homework ask Auntie Sam. Uncle Niall won't be much help."
The girls and Harry giggle, they love his ridiculous jokes. I can't stop smiling, he's really into being parental, making sure the kids are doing their homework and just getting them to smile. He's one in a million for sure.
"I heard that Harry."
Niall calls out from across the room.
"That's what I was hoping for mate. You know I can't resist giving you a hard time."
"I'd think something was wrong with you if you didn't"
"Exactly! Ok girls, I love and miss you so much. I can't wait to see you soon. And get to bed, it's late there."
Both girls chime in at the same time, their brains are so alike they often speak in unison.
"Ok Harry, we love you too. And you too Mama. Bye!"
The moment Harry hangs up the call I smile. I can't resist teasing him.
"It's wonderful how they're so ready to say I love you to you, and I'm just an afterthought."
"Well I am a lot cooler than you, so that makes a lot of sense."
"You're hysterical Mr. Styles."
He giggles and drags me back to the bathroom for our shower.
"Time for your shower woman. We have a busy day ahead of us."
***
*** Manip Credit Harryspinapples***
After a playful shower, I feel refreshed and ready to explore London with Harry. He wraps both of our bodies in towels, then brings me to the bed. We lay on our sides facing one another smiling.
"What do you wanna do today babe?"
I intertwine our fingers while waiting for his response. His smile is genuine and compassionate.
"That's completely up to you. I've seen just about all there is to see in London. You get to decide where we go, at least for today. What've you always wanted to see? Anywhere you want, you name it and I'll take you there."
"Really?"
"Of course, so what's it going to be?"
His facial expression seems like he's eagerly anticipating a specific answer. I swear this man is always up to something, he never does a thing without an ulterior motive. Not in a malicious way, his motives include plans to make others happy. It's an extremely endearing quality in a partner, although it's still something very foreign to me.
"I can think of about a hundred places I want to see, but my top two would be Hyde Park and Abbey Road. I think it'd be nice and relaxing to walk around the park and I want to go see the studio. At least the outside of it; it's iconic."
"I was hoping you'd want to go to Hyde Park; you're going to love it. And it's less than 3 kilometers from the studio so we can walk. It'll be nice."
I look at him with a crooked smile.
"You do remember that I've lived in the US my whole life and we do everything backwards from the rest of the world? Convert that please."
He chuckles while running his fingers through his still dripping hair.
"Sorry love, it's less than two miles."
"Thanks for helping out your European challenged girlfriend."
My laugh is whimsical, I'm really enjoying these little moments just the two of us. I don't think I've ever felt so light, complete, happy or carefree.
He tackles me on the bed hovering over my body, leaving both of our towels no longer covering our skin. He's playful like a little kitten today, which makes me feel young and loved, there are simply no other words to describe it.
"That's a cute new expression Willow. We may have to coin that term as a catch phrase for all American women dating European men. It has a nice ring to it, but I think it would sound much better if..." He leans in to kiss my lips only taking his eyes off me when our lips connect. "Even better if you were my European challenged wife."
My face must look shocked because he pulls away creating some distance between us. His face reads of utter panic.
"Well yeah that..."
"Willow I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, forget I said anything. That sounded awfully presumptuous of me, it just kinda slipped out. No matter where our relationship takes us, we're doing this at your pace. I crossed the line, I'm sorry."
I grab him by his cheeks and pull him in for another kiss. I want to make sure he understands that in no way can his words ever make me walk away from our relationship.
"Don't be sorry Harry, it was a sweet thing to say. It just caught me off guard that's all. I love you baby and being married to you would be at the top of my list of things I would be proud of someday. Only coming second to being a mom, of course."
His eyes twinkle and his smile is larger than usual. My confession seems to have eased his tension rather quickly, which I'm extremely happy with.
"I'm glad you feel that way. The last thing I want to do is scare you away."
"I'm not going anywhere Harry; I'm dedicated to you heart and soul. But I tell you what, you and I have a knack for procrastinating getting out of the house. We have lots to see today and the one and only thing I've had a chance to see in London seems to be growing quickly and is trying to say hello to my upper thigh. So, if we're going out today, we probably better put some clothes on and get out of here."
"Clothes? Do you really think that clothes are going to keep me from throbbing just thinking about being with you? You're crazy woman."
He tickles me at my sides and nuzzles into my neck placing kisses so light that they tickle my skin.
"Harry Edwards Styles stop it. You're not playing fair; you need to behave."
All our movements stop when our eyes lock; I smile lovingly at him.
"I love you beautiful."
"I love you too handsome. Let's get dressed, ok? What are you wearing by the way?"
I question only because I know we want to blend in and not be noticed. He's learned how to go out in public inconspicuously for years. Therefore, I wholeheartedly trust his advice.
He hops up from the bed, runs into the closet. He picks out black skinny jeans with holes in the knees, and a random black hoodie which looks worn and is probably one of his favorites.
"Going casual today?"
"It's quite comfortable. If I walk around the streets in designer clothing someone will recognize me."
"You make a very valid point. Hoodies and jeans, it is for me as well."
We both get dressed and throw our hair up in messy buns. Harry slips on a pair of his black Chelsea boots and put on my black calf length boots. He kisses my forehead grabs his keys and we head out the door hand in hand.
***
It's a bright and beautiful day, the perfect temperature to be outside. Not too hot, and still comfortable enough to wear hoodies. We both have sunglasses on, not only to hide our faces a bit, but the sun is just that bright.
When we make our way to the park Harry plays a very convincing tour guide showing me some of the major highlights. All the buildings and monuments look regal and exactly what I'd expect of British architecture. Even the newer statues look as though they're from generations ago. And not in a rundown dilapidated way. Everything stands tall, strong and sturdy, the way I assume castles of medieval times were constructed. I'm in awe trying to figure out what to look at first.
I run my fingers along the stones of one of the walls, imagining what things were like during that time. I can almost feel the history seeping from everywhere around London, but with this stone even more so.
"Did I ever tell you that before my mother passed away, she'd traced our family lineage back 13 generations to England?"
"No, you never told me that, but that's wonderful. So, I guess that means you're a Brit deep in your heart, aren't you?"
"I suppose so, I've always felt drawn here, but I've never had the chance to visit. Now that I'm here, I've realized the reason why I haven't made it until now."
"Oh really, why is that?"
"Because I was meant to experience all this with you."
Harry gazes at me endearingly.
"You really are amazing you know that? I don't even know..." He stops to gather his thoughts. "...I wish there were some words to describe how grateful I am to have you in my life. Everything about us feels right. I couldn't be happier than I am now."
"Me too babe, we have something so special that I never imagined it could be possible. No one can take this away from us. I love you so much. And the fact that you love Lark and Lily as if they're your own children makes this more perfect than I ever imagined. Are you sure you're real?" I tease him.
"Hmm, I'm pretty sure I'm real." He leans in to whisper in my ear just in case there's anyone around in ear shot. "Do I feel real when I'm inside you? When I make love to you?"
I wasn't expecting this line of questioning; I'm blushing in surprise. My cheeks heat up and I'm sure they're rosy pink.
"In that case, there's no question. You're definitely real."
He leans in to kiss and nibble on my neck.
"That's what I thought."
Our next stop is the rose garden which is magical. There are several arbors covered in vines creating a tunnel surrounding us with the comforts of nature. The sun peeks through the spaces from one vine to the next, the effect creates a kaleidoscope of colors in our wake. We walk lazily under the arches, Harry squeezes my hand; one, two and three. I squeeze back the same and we smile at each other because of our silent profession of love for one another.
"We better take a few pictures for the girls. I'm sure they'd love this place. I can't wait to bring them here someday. I miss them Will."
Harry says with a pout on his face.
"Me too love. But you were right, we needed this time alone. And yes, pictures are a great idea, I'm sure they're dying to see everything."
We take a few pictures and continue our walk around the park then Harry pauses.
"Close your eyes I have a surprise for you. And don't worry I'll hold your hand and lead you there. I won't make you walk blindly. You don't need your eyes quite yet."
"Ok..."
I let the word lag off my tongue not sure what he's up to. I don't know how to react to his odd behavior, so I just go with it. I trust him with my life. I suppose I can let him lead me around the park with my eyes closed for a while.
We walk along a trail for a few minutes then we come to a sudden stop. I hear Harry's breath hitch; it seems like he's trying to collect his nerves and shove them back into whatever place they came from.
"No peeking yet."
"Why did you gasp like that?"
"Just hush I have something to say. You're so impatient darling." He giggles. "So, you remember that time you told me what your favorite flower was?"
"Yeah, jasmine."
"No, like a flowering tree that you've waited your whole life to see in full bloom..."
"Cherry blossom trees!" I squeal in excitement.
"It's the perfect time of year for that here in London. Open your eyes, take a look."
Right before me is a lane of trees; plush and full of blossoms, in various shades of pink accented in white. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever laid my eyes upon. My sentimental heart can't stop a few tears from escaping down my cheeks.
No one has ever made such a valiant effort at making me happy. He pays attention to every single detail. It's like he stores every conversation we have into is brain for safekeeping, waiting to be used at precisely the perfect moment.
"Oh Harry, they're..." I'm choking on my words, trying to compose myself. He grabs me by my shoulders holding my body to his own. "They're beautiful, it's better than I ever imagined. I don't even know what to say. I can't believe you remembered."
He looks down and lifts my chin.
"I remember everything you tell me. My mum was right, I've never had the greatest memory for such details, but from the moment I met you everything you've said and every moment we've had together is locked away up here." He points to his head for dramatic effect. "I couldn't forget even if I tried."
My guess was correct, my man is a sappy romantic and I can't get enough of it.
"Harry Edward Styles, I know that no one is perfect, but you are most definitely perfect for me. I love you so much."
"I love you too angel. So, can I kiss you now?"
"That's the only thing that could make this moment any better."
He kisses me slow and holds onto me tight.
"Well there are some things that could make it better, but..."
"Harry, don't be dirty."
"I can assure you I'm not talking dirty."
"Hmm you've piqued my curiosity. What exactly are you implying?"
"Nothing, it's nothing. I have an idea, let's take some more pictures for the girls."
I nod my head agreeing because I know they'll appreciate these trees just as much as I do.
Harry pulls out his phone again and takes a few pictures of the cherry blossom trees and then a couple of us together. I would love to get one printed and framed to keep this moment frozen in time. It's nice to capture memories that you can physically hold in your hands. Of course, memories held within our minds are more precious than anything. But when time ages the mind these photographic memories can never be erased. The moment is immortalized in time.
"Come here my love, I want a picture that's just for us."
He runs his thumb along my jawline with one hand and holds his phone up with the other getting ready to snap the perfect moment. His lips connect to mine tethering us together. He snaps the pic and quickly looks at the photo hiding the screen from me. He grins ear to ear.
"Hey let me see!" I demand playfully.
He holds the phone above his head so it's out of my reach.
"What will you give me for it?"
"You're such a brat, let me see." He wags his finger at me which is an unequivocal no from him. "Ok, ok...when we get back home, I'll let you have your way with me however you want."
"Really? You were going to do that anyway, you're gonna have to do better than that."
"What exactly did you have in mind?"
He leads me by the hand to sit together on the park bench placed underneath the shade of the tree. He shoves his phone back in his pocket, and I pout like a spoiled brat feeling defeated because I didn't get my way.
"Harry!"
He places his finger on my lips shushing me the way he always does when he wants my undivided attention. His mood just dropped a bit, his emotions are all over the place today.
"Willow, I have some news."
"Baby, what's wrong? You look upset all the sudden. Did you find out when you're leaving for tour? Is it time for you to go?"
I can feel the tears forming in my eyes before he even says another word.
"No beautiful, I won't be going much of anywhere unless you're with me for quite some time, which is perfect but..."
He looks sad and I want to hold him. It's my job to reassure him that everything will be alright no matter what this news is.
"If I tell you, you can't say a word to anyone. Not even Sam or the girls, not yet."
"Of course, love what is it, you're scaring me?"
"No need to be scared. I'm a little sad..." He tries to run his fingers through his hair the way he does when he's nervous until he realizes his hair is still in a bun. Instead he rubs his temples out of frustration.
"Harry baby please just tell me."
A tear slowly falls down his cheek and I catch it with thumb and place a kiss there instead.
"It's the boys, the band...umm we've decided to take a break."
"From recording, from touring? What?"
"From everything."
"Harry what do you mean everything?"
"In all honesty we're not really sure what this means for us. But we all have individual talents and we've decided this is the best time to explore them."
A few more tears run down his face and I do everything I can to catch every single one of them and kiss the tear stains away.
"Baby, I'm so sorry you must be devastated. I don't know what to say, honestly."
He lifts his forlorn head and looks at me.
"Don't be sorry, it's been coming for a long time. We love each other and you know we're like family, but we've had people telling us what music to write and perform for five years. Don't get me wrong, I loved every second of it and I wouldn't change a thing. I think we all feel the same way; however, I think taking the opportunity to make something of our own that we have complete creative control over is something we need to do. It's going to be good for us. It's just hard to see it end, I mean we don't know if we'll get back together only time will tell. I'm sad, for sure, but I'm excited at the same time. And honestly, this gives you and I and our girls some time together. Time to just be a family."
"I love the idea of spending time together as a family. And I'm thrilled you get to make your own music. I know it'll be spectacular, everything you do is spectacular. You're so talented and I have complete faith in you baby."
"Thank you love, I know you believe in me and I'm lucky to have you. This is going to be a good thing; I just know it."
"Harry you must be exhausted after all of this, let's go back home and cuddle."
I try to stand, and he pulls me back to sit on the bench.
"Not yet, I have one more thing to say."
"Wow, this is a lot of news for one day."
He grasps both my hands resting them on my knees.
"Willow, I want you to be with me through this every step of the way. Please?"
"Yes baby of course, I told you I fully support you."
He let's go of my hands wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans.
"No darling you don't get what I'm trying to say. Let's take on the world together."
He reaches in his pocket and takes out a small turquoise box with Tiffany & Co. inscribed on it. My heart rate quickens, and I know his is as quick as mine. I can feel it from inches away.
"Willow Jasmine Wishart, will you marry me? I want you to be my wife."
He opens the box looking terrified waiting for my response, he starts crying again. I'm sure the ring is gorgeous, but I can't look anywhere other than his eyes. I can't blink, I can't breathe, I can't speak.
"Willow please say something."
I throw myself into him and wrap my arms around his neck kissing him creating an explosion of fireworks inside me. His tension relents a bit, but I can still feel it lingering. I haven't said yes and I'm sure that's what he's waiting for.
I pull away from him because I want to see his face when I give him my answer. An answer I don't have to think twice about or mull over in my mind a thousand times.
"Harry Edward Styles, yes of course I'll be your wife."
He wraps me in his arms laying his tear-soaked face which now holds a beautiful smile atop my head. When he pulls away, he places the gorgeous ring on my finger.
"I can't believe this Willow. I'm so happy, I love you so much. This isn't too fast for you?"
"It's perfect baby. You couldn't have orchestrated it any better. The cherry blossoms were the best choice for a proposal."
Harry looks down at his clothes and shakes his head.
"I got lucky with the cherry blossoms; you can thank Mother Nature for that. But damn I'm such an arse, I can't believe I proposed to you dressed like this."
"Are you kidding me? We're dressed in our everyday clothes, we're comfortable...like I said, it's perfect. And besides, I can't resist you when you're dressed like this. I mean, you always look sexy, but seeing you in this comfort is more than my body can handle."
"You're such a dork sometimes, you know that?"
"I may be a dork, but you're the fool who asked me to marry him."
I raise my eyebrows at him tauntingly.
"Woman you're asking for it."
"Yeah, actually I am."
I giggle as I jump off the bench and run from him playfully. He catches me and picks me up swinging around.
"Did you forget that I'm faster than you?"
"Yeah, yeah I know. I knew you would catch up to me and sweep me off my feet like you always do."
"Ha, I see what you did there, adorable play on words."
He smothers me in kisses, the hair that had fallen out of my messy bun being tucked behind my ear. He takes his phone back out and shows me the photo he'd hidden from me earlier.
"I wanted to keep it a surprise. It's our engagement photo."
"I love it. Thank you baby."
"No thanks needed, promising to marry me is more than enough."
He kisses me on the tip of my nose.
"I tell you what angel. I know you wanna see Abbey Road, are you ok with seeing it later?"
"Of course, it's been a pretty eventful day already."
"Ok good, Mum and Gemma are coming over for dinner tonight. I want you to meet Gem, and I need to tell them about the band before something leaks and they find out from someone else. Let me take my beautiful fiancé home, spend some time alone with her then we can get ready for dinner. I'll take you to Abbey tomorrow. Is that ok?"
"Absolutely."
As quick as my joy appears my nerves creep into the picture. My stomach starts to turn, and I can feel my face go pale. I'm sure my expression looks apprehensive because Harry strokes my face with a look of concern.
"Baby what's wrong? Do you feel ok?"
"Yeah, Harry I'm fine. I'm just..." He nods at me to continue. "...I'm nervous about meeting Gemma. I know she's protective of you, and the media hasn't painted me in the best light. She probably already detests me. I want her to like me."
"She's going to love you. Even if she has some preconceived notions from what the press has assumed, I'll set the story straight. Once she meets you, she'll know that they've been wrong. Everything will be fine, I promise."
He kisses my forehead and squeezes me tight.
"Let's go home darling."