"You're amazing. Thank you Emmy." She smiles, kissing my forehead.
I rub my eyes, trying to get the past out of head. I cant keep living like this. I walk over to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. I throw on a random outfit and head out.
Only place that I can think right now is the grocery store.
My phone blows up with notifications but I ignore it everyday. I cant remember the last time I used social media. My days just consists of sleeping. But there's always one day out of the whole week that I look forward to.
Tuesday.
I still watch him. And his videos. The only thing that can put a smile on my face.
I park into the lot and get out of my care. I plug in my headphones walking into the store. I decided to buy some mac n cheese and make it at home.
Try doing something productive.
I walk into the aisle, my head hanging low. I stare at my feet continuing to walk until I bump into a hard wall. But what felt more like a hard body.
"Ow," I rub my forehead.
"I am so sorry," I feel two hands on my shoulder, and hear a familiar voice.
It couldn't be.
It can't be.
Please don't be.
Him.
My eyes slowly rise, meeting his. His hands let go of my sides, and fall down to his.
I wasn't sure what to do. What do I do?
Talk you moron.
How can I talk? What would I say? 'Hey we haven't talked or seen each other in three months because I cheated on you, how've you been?'
No, just say sorry.
I didn't have the balls to do that. But somehow the words stumbled out.
"Sorry," I whisper, averting my eyes elsewhere, and quickly walking past him.
My eyes quickly search for the Kraft box through the shelves.
They spot the box and I grab two, walking out of the aisle. I felt relieved, that I was out of there. But I felt like shit, that I saw him.
I pay for both of my items and head back to my car.
And that's when I had the crazy idea.
I need to get my mind off of things.
I need some company.
I need a friend.
I need a source of comfort.
I need someone I can talk to and will understand.
I need someone who will give me joy.
I need a dog.