The boys took their normal spots in the car. Remus and Peter sat across from Sirius and James, respectively. They were joined this time by Lily who sat between James and Sirius.
Sirius couldn't help but look at Remus. He hadn't changed much over the last two months; he was still incredibly lanky- his arms and legs were almost too long for his body, Sirius caught glimpses of sea blue eyes every so often even though Remus all but refused to make and main eye contact. From the hug they shared earlier, Sirius could tell that Remus was still hiding a good amount of muscle under his scratchy sweater, this thought made Sirius smile.
Time seemed to pass quickly. The five friends didn't run out of things to talk about.
"I'm gonna go track down the snack cart again!" James said abruptly. "Lily, would you like to come?"
The beautiful girl smiled and extended her hand to the already standing James, inviting him to help her out of her seat.
The pair left in a hurry. "I can't believe it." Peter squeaked. "I never thought she'd come around."
Sirius nodded in response. "I figured they'd get together at some point. It was kind of inevitable if you ask me."
Remus remained quiet still.
"It's kind of frustrating, really. Now he's going to spend all of his time with her." Peter went on ranting.
"Relax, man." Sirius said in defense of James. "You just need to find a girl too. Then you'll understand why James is so wound up about her."
Peter huffed in protest. "How would you know? It's not like you've ever had one. And I don't just mean some random girl you shag in a broom closet."
Remus cringed at this comment, thinking back to letter Sirius had sent him. "They've been gone too long, don't you think?" Remus finally joined the conversation. "Maybe someone should go make sure they're alright. Make sure they didn't run into Snivellus or Lucius."
Peter nodded furiously. "I can go!" He said enthusiastically as he scampered out the door.
"It's going to be a long year." Sirius said to break the tension.
Remus chuckled still not meeting Sirius' gaze, "that's for sure."
An awkward silence fell over the pair.
Finally Sirius spoke up again, "Remus, can we not do this?"
"Hmm?" mumbled Remus, finally meeting Sirius' dusty grey eyes.
"You're being awkward." Sirius pointed out matter of factly.
"I'm just not sure how to act, that's all. I agreed to not tell James about what you wrote me. And if he notices us acting different, he's gonna think something's up." Remus rebuttaled defensively, more so than was necessary.
Sirius laughed. "You think 'Mr. I'm so in love with Lily Evans' is going to notice anything but her. Ha! Ten galleons says they'll be snogging when Peter finds them."
Remus chuckled also, "James won't be happy that we sent Peter after him."
The two boys laughed together.
"How was your, um, transformation?" Sirius asked.
"Same as normal," Remus lied, better this time than before. "How were Walburga and Orion."
A somber look crossed Sirius' face before he spoke. "I hate them."
Remus nodded, he didn't consider this feeling an overreaction like most other people did. "I truly wish you didn't have to deal with them."
Sirius was quite for a while. "Thank you. For your letters and gifts. Being able to write you made this summer bearable."
"I'm glad I could be there for you. Whenever you need to talk I'll-" Remus was interrupted by James violently throwing the sliding door to their section open.
"Find the snack cart, mate?" Sirius asked him with a sly grin.
"No. And Peter told me you obnoxious gits sent him after me."
"What's the matter with that?" Remus asked him innocently, "you were just looking for some sweets, right?"
"Yeah. You could say that." James replied cockily.
"Could say what?" Lily interjected as she and Peter made their way back to their seats.
"Oh Lil, James was just telling us about the sweets he acquired." Sirius told her.
Lily blushed and James shot daggers at Sirius, who seemed pretty proud of himself. "Oh," the red headed girl stuttered, "um, well the conductor says we'll be arriving in less than 20 minutes, so you'd best get changed."
Remus, James, and Sirius did as they were told. And eventually their long journey came to an end. As the castle came into view, Sirius felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was finally where he belonged. He was safe.
The rest of the evening was just a typical first day at Hogwarts; sorting, feast, and eager students.
In the Great Hall, Remus and Peter once again sat across the table from James and Sirius. Lily had decided to sit further down, next to her roommates Marlene, Dorcas, and Hesita. They had a lot of catching up to do considering the events of Lily's summer. Every once and again they'd all look down the table at the four boys who had no idea what they were talking about. It seemed as though they were teasing Marlene, and by the looks of it, they were doing a good job; her face had taken on the color of the cranberry sauce in front of her.
When the meal was nearing its end and everyone was overly full, and enchanted origami swan came floating from the girls to the boys. James smiled at it arrogantly as he thought it was for him. He quickly changed his demeanor as it floated right past him to Sirius.
Sirius
Meet me on top of Gryffindor Tower at 1.
Marlene
James read the note over his shoulder, and gave him a hearty clap on the back, which caused Sirius to tense up and slide away from his best friend. Remus noticed the odd behavior, but thought it best not to ask.
"Atta boy, Sirius." James exclaimed as Sirius folded the note and slipped it in his pocket. He wasn't really sure how he felt about it.
"What did it say?" Peter inquired nearly bouncing up and down in his seat with anticipation.
Sirius groaned a bit, "Marlene wants me to meet her tonight on top of Gryffindor Tower." He looked towards Remus who offered him a sad smile.
"Ah mate, this is gonna be great." James continued, oblivious to how uncomfortable Sirius seemed. "You and Marlene, me and Lily." He sighed contently. "Maybe we can set the two of you up with the others." He said, this time towards Remus and Peter.
Remus laughed uncomfortably, but Peter seemed all for it.
James took the liberty of gesturing down the table, seemingly confirming Sirius' and Marlene's' date.
The hall was dismissed and each house followed their prefect to their dormitories, learned the new password, and began settling in.
The clock read 10:36 pm by the time Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James all settled in. James was first on the account that Lily had agreed to meet him in the common room. After Remus unpacked what he wanted from his trunk, he noisily collapsed in his bed.
"Tired, Moony?" Sirius inquired.
"Not really. It just feels good to be back." Remus replied.
"You have no idea," Sirius said, copying Remus' actions; falling into his bed next to Remus'.
Remus was going to push the subject, but figured Sirius wouldn't say anything with Peter in the room.
"Are you guys excited for classes?" Remus asked the two of them.
"Not really," Peter replied. He sounded a bit unsure of himself.
"Of course I'm not." Sirius said, the three boys laughed. Sirius was very smart and naturally talented in magic, but he didn't appreciate the formality of school.
A comfortable silence fell over the room; Sirius and Remus were collapsed in their own beds and Peter was leaning, a bit anxiously, into the door frame.
"Do you think Hesita and Dorcas are down there too?" The mousy man finally piped up.
Sirius groaned loudly.
"What?" Peter whined defensively.
"Nothing, Peter. I was just hoping for a couple weeks of drama free life." Sirius retorted. "But I'm definitely not stopping you from pursuing your dreams." He added, with a bit more of an edge than he intended.
"Would you like to come, Remus?" Peter asked, ignoring Sirius' teasing. "Or, um do you still. You know are you still into guys."
Sirius snorted before Remus could even begin to answer. "You know Peter, Remus is bisexual- he is attracted to guys and girls."
Peter stumbled over his words. "I-I know, I just thought that um since Bertram, maybe he.." Peter trailed off, obviously unsure of what he was saying. He hastily exited their dorm.
"Sorry. I um, I'm not sure I explained that correctly. And it wasn't my place anyways." Sirius apologized.
"There's no need to apologize. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to ask me about my sexuality."
Sirius nodded even though Remus couldn't see him.
"So, Marlene.." Remus adder after a pregnant pause.
Sirius groaned again. "What time is it?"
"Only 11:17" Remus replied, checking his watch. "Are you- excited, nervous?"
"No."
"You don't like Marlene? Sirius I can't read your mind."
"I have been looking forward to laying in this bed for two months. I wanted to finally close my eyes and not have to worry about Orion or Walburga barging in at anytime." Sirius huffed. He felt a lump rising in his throat, but he was able to push it down before tears fell.
"I could tell her you're not feeling well; that you can't meet her."
"That's alright. If I don't go tonight, then she'll just insist on meeting tomorrow or the next day."
Remus muttered an agreement.
"Should we go to the common room?" Sirius asked dryly.
Remus thought for a moment. "Sure, I could use a cup of tea."
Remus sat up in bed then watched Sirius clamber out of his own. "I've gotta get out of these robes." Sirius said as he began digging through his trunk. He pulled out dingy T-shirt and a pair of jeans. "Walburga hates when I wear muggle shirts."
Remus didn't know how to respond to Sirius' comment, and he was relieved when Sirius walked to the bathroom to change. Remus changed into a sweater and khaki pants and waited for Sirius before heading down stairs.
Sirius smiled when he saw what Remus was wearing. "You know, Moony," Sirius said as they walked, "you can wear colors other than that of your hair."
Remus pretended to be offended by this comment. "What does your shirt mean?"
Sirius grinned again. "Pink Floyd- a muggle band."
"Hmpf." Remus muttered as they reached the landing. "What kind of music-" he began to ask.
"Sirius!" Hesita called across the room. She was sitting between Peter and Marlene. "We saved you a seat." She patted the cushion between herself and Marlene.
"I'll be right there." Sirius replied. "I've gotta get Moony a tea."
"I can get my own, Sirius." Remus said quietly enough that only Sirius could hear him.
"Two sugars and a bit of honey?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus.
Remus nodded in defeat, but he was grinning from ear to ear.
A little bit later Remus was sitting in an armchair near the others, but not quite with them. He was content with just observing for now. It always took him a couple days to acclimate to living with people other than his parents. Sirius handed Remus his mug of tea. Remus couldn't help but smile when he noticed Sirius left a spoon in instead of using magic to stir it. Remus appreciated his mother's muggle ways.
Sirius sat in the seat Marlene had saved for him. He sat rigidly, doing his best not to brush too hard into either girl beside him. Eventually he let himself relax into the sofa a bit. It was going well. Sirius and Marlene, James and Lily, and Hesita and Peter were laughing. Dorcas was there too. She was sitting next to Lily and she kept looking over at Remus.
Remus chuckled to himself as he sipped his tea. The thought that just because you were friends with someone meant that you were supposed to become an item with their significant others' friends seemed very immature to him.
Remus continued observing the seven of them. They were getting along well. Peter must have said something funny because Marlene gave a very exaggerated laugh and griped Sirius tightly on the shoulder.
This action made Sirius go rigid again. Remus could tell he was in pain. Remus thought for a moment if he should do something to convince Marlene to remove her hand.
Sirius looked across the table to Remus, who tried to silently convey "what can I do to help?" Sirius must have somehow gathered what Remus was implying because he shook his head slightly while he held the boy's gaze.
After what felt like a long time of staring, Sirius finally spoke up. "Marlene, I know it's a bit early, but what do you say we hit the roof."
Dorcas and Hesita giggled. Marlene smiled and said, "of course." She then removed her hand and stood up, and waited for Sirius to do the same.
When Sirius and Marlene left, the dynamic was changed. Shortly after, Lily announced that she had to go to bed because classes were starting tomorrow. Hesita and Dorcas agreed and that left Remus, James and Peter in the common room and Sirius and Marlene on the roof.
"It sure is good to be back." Marlene stated as she leaned into the stone wall behind her. "How was your summer?"
"It was.. ugh, good. I guess. How was yours?"
"It wasn't as good as I had hoped." Marlene explained with a sigh.
"How so?" Sirius asked her absentmindedly- he was occupied with looking at the stars.
"Well," she began, "my mum had to travel for work and my dad decided to go with her so my brothers, sister, and I had to live with my nan for a couple weeks. And she's a bit of a hag."
All Sirius could muster was a "hmpf" as he wished he could be sent to live with some relative.
"How are your parents?" She asked him innocently.
The word made Sirius cringe. "Orion and Walburga are good."
"I love that."
"I'm sorry?"
"How you're named after the stars, like your father, and his father, and his father's father. It's a bit poetic."
Sirius had nothing to say to her on the matter, but he sighed deeply in response.
"It must be great," she continued, "the amount of security and righteousness that comes with being a part of a family like your own."
Very few people, knew about Sirius' rebellion against his family's beliefs. It wasn't something he enjoyed talking about.
Sirius chuckled at her comment, she had no idea what happened behind closed doors. "You're not missing much," he reassured her.
Marlene slid closer to Sirius and rested her head on his good shoulder. "Sirius," there was a long pause, "I, um, have a bit of a crush on you," she finally admitted.
"Thank you?" Sirius said, unsure of how to respond.
She withdrew her head from his shoulder. "That's it? A thank you." She raised her voice in frustration.
The sudden yelling made Sirius cringe. Again he didn't know how to respond.
Marlene got up to leave.
"Wait-" Sirius called behind her. "Marlene, I'm sorry. It's late and today has been exhausting. Can we try this a different time?" He stood up to face her.
She thought about his proposition. "Those sound like excuses. But sure."
Sirius mostly felt impartial towards her agreement. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if she turned him down.
"Okay." He stayed simply and the two of them made their way to the common room.
Marlene made her way so quickly up to the girls' quarters that she didn't notice the sandy haired boy reading by the fire. Sirius, however, could pick his friend out from a mile away.
"What's keeping you up, Remus?" Sirius asked as he approached Remus.
"Nothing really." Remus lied as he closed his book. Truthfully, he had tried to go to sleep earlier when Peter and James did, but it didn't feel quite right in their room without Sirius.
"Let's go then. I'm exhausted. And classes begin tomorrow."
"Sirius Black concerned about classes? I'm shocked," Remus teased.
"Ha ha," Sirius responded in his own mocking tone. "Seriously, let's go, Moony. I'm sick of finding you a sleep all over the castle."
"That's less sleep deprivation and more lycanthropy. But fine I'll go if you tell me something first."
"Sure," Sirius agreed, eager to get to bed.
"What's the matter with your shoulder. Your left shoulder?" He specified, knowing how good Sirius was a jumping through almost any loophole to avoid conversations he didn't want to have.
Sirius grimaced as he thought about what to tell Remus. Nothing came to mind.
After a long pause, Sirius pulled his left arm through his T-shirt sleeve, doing his best to hide the rest of his body as he did so.
What Remus saw when Sirius lifted his shirt was sickening. He entire shoulder was a deep purple color surrounded by a disgusting yellow ring. "Who d-did this?"
"Walburga."
"Sirius, I-I don't know what to say. How?"
"After she killed Heng, she got mad that I didn't get rid of his cage." He paused as he unsuccessfully attempted to stop tears from running down his face. "So, she um, decided to hit me with it. 6 times."
Remus thought he was going to be sick. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Sirius shook his head. He already thought about going to Madam Pomfrey but couldn't risk having a teacher find out. "Just promise not to treat me differently. I'm not broken, I'm not damaged, I'm just me."
"Are there more?"
Sirius averted his eyes and even though he didn't say anything, Remus knew that there were. He hoped that one day Sirius would open up even more.
"How did it go with Marlene?" Remus asked, trying to change the subject.
"Remus." Sirius stated. His tone of voice worried Remus. "This summer was only bearable because I was able to write you. But I can't talk about things the same way I could write about them."
"Okay?"
"What I'm trying to say is that I don't need you to worry about me, I'm not going to just break. I'm better when I'm here, and you don't need to worry." He paused for what felt like a long time. "And I can't keep confiding in you. I just want things to go back to normal."
Remus' mouth felt as dry as the North American deserts that the Thunderbirds called home. He'd done it. He pushed Sirius too far and now he was shutting down. "O-okay." He croaked as Sirius turned to make his way up to their room. Shortly after, Remus did the same.
Sirius laid in bed, stiff as a board, all night long without sleeping. The entire day was extremely overwhelming. A day he'd been counting down to for the last two months ended in the worst way possible. He'd shut out the one person he knew he could trust; maybe the only person who could actually help him. Judging by the unending sound of blankets rustling in the next bed over, Remus couldn't sleep either. This only made Sirius feel worse. But Sirius thought this was for the best. Remus had enough going on that he shouldn't have to worry about Sirius too. This way, everything could go back to normal, like it was last year.
Edit made May 8, 2020 at 9:30 am CST because I made a M I S T A K E.