*Aliv's Point of View*
"Aliv Grace Masters."
I heard my name out of the scary fat man's mouth. I peaked out of my hiding spot behind Daddy Harry's shaggy brown curls to see him. He was all red in the face and his belly was round, just like Santa Claus. Not that I believed in him or anything. I just let mum think that I do, cause what kid doesn't love presents?
All of a sudden I felt mum's arms tighten around me. "I object!" The D.A.'s voice boomed through the silent room. I turned back into Harry's shoulder frightened.
"I can't stop him. I already granted it." The judge told the D.A. sorrowfully.
"No. No no no no." Mum whispered quietly. "I won't let him take you away from me." I could feel the tears roll down her face, into my hair. I tried to stop the tears from flowing from my eyes. Daddy Harry gently took me from her arms as the patient officer waited for me. I took a deep breath and grabbed onto the man's hand. It was soft, like the stuffed cat Daddy Harry gave me.
I walked with him slowly as we reached the big chair Mummy and Daddy Harry sat before. I still call Harry, Daddy Harry because I don't know if I can call him just Daddy. My daddy waved to me smiling. I put on a small smile as I got to the chair. That's when I saw how huge it was.
"I get to sit on that?" I gasped, asking the judge with a funny name. I don't know what is so funny, but Uncle Ni couldn't stop laughing.
"Yes sweety." He told me as he motioned for the officer to lift me up.
I looked over at Mummy who was still crying into Daddy Harry's chest. I wish I was in her arms, trying to get her to smile. I love when she smiled, it made me happy. She's be off all day though and I don't know why. I don't want her being sad. Mummy's sick now, I know that it isn't the cold type of sick. I don't like it. Is it because of me? But that doesn't make sense. I couldn't be me right?
Interrupting my thoughts the fat not-so-jolly man started asking me questions. I froze, becoming my shy self. Where was Zayn when I needed him? I looked at the man in confusion.
"I said, Aliv do you know what the difference between a lie and what the truth is."
"I.. uh.. I do." I said slowly. I didn't know whether I should be the smart Aliv, or the little two year old. I looked up at Mummy who nodded her head, like she was reading my mind or something.
"What is a lie?"
"A lie is when you say something that doesn't really happen." I recited, we learned that is kindergarten this week.
"Now what is a truth?"
"It is a fact, it can be proved." I told him smiling.
"Well, you seem to know your stuff there." He chuckled darkly. I kicked my tiny legs, feeling uncomfortable.
"Yes, sir!" I saluted him.
"Where did you learn to be so polite? Was it school?"
"No, sir. My Mummy taught me my manners."
"I can see that." He turned back to my daddy and whispered to him. Daddy smirked, and I didn't like it.
"Aliv, you love your daddy right?" The fat man asked me.
"Well, which daddy?" I countered, I really didn't know which one he actually meant. I looked over to mummy and she looked almost a little scared.
"You only have one daddy."
"No, I have two!" I pouted.
"And who are they?"
"Daddy." I pointed to Daddy Harry, who gave me a proud smile. "And daddy." I pointed to my daddy who just glared at mummy and Daddy Harry.
"Which one do you love the most?"
"Daddy Harry!" I yelled excitedly. I looked back at Daddy Harry to see him chuckling, still rubbing small circles on mummy's back.
"And why is that?" I looked back at the scary fat man. His face was red, I couldn't tell if it was because it was really hot or if he was angry at me. "Answer my question."
"Because Daddy Harry loves me. He protects mummy, Eli and I from the scary monsters."
"What monsters? The one from under your bed?"
"No, the ones like daddy." I whispered looking down at my lap.
"What did you say?" He asked me, coming close to my face.
"No, the ones like daddy." I said a little louder, I felt the tears start to pour down my face.
"Why is daddy a monster? All he did was love and cherish you."
"Because he hurt Mummy!" I cried.
"Did you see him hit mummy? Are you telling the truth, because you are not allowed to lie on this chair. This chair isn't for little liars." He yelled at me, making me cry a little harder. I didn't want him to yell at me, why was he so angry?
"STOP!" A loud voice rang over the room. I looked up to see Mummy standing up yelling at the mean fat man. "Just stop, you are making her cry. How can you make a two year old cry like that? Do you have no shame? Do you not see that you lost the case? Just stop." She began to cry again, harder slumping to the floor. Without asking I jumped from the chair running into mummy's arms.
"Mummy please don't be sad. I'm okay, it'll be okay." I told her as i wiped her tears away.
"Aliv, sometimes I think you are too grown up already." She smiled weakly as she wiped one last tear that was on my face. I smiled, my mummy was happy.
"Can we go home now Mummy?" I asked her as she stood up grabbing my hand.
"Yes baby, we can go home now." She told me as my daddy grabbed my hand. We walked out of the scary room with Uncle Ni, Auntie Jeany, and Uncle Li. I didn't turn back to say goodbye to my old daddy. I knew I wouldn't see him in a long time, but it was okay because I had my real daddy.
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*El's Point of View*
I watched in horror as I watched my daughter take the stand. I saw how she proudly announced that Harry was her dad and I watched her tell the room that her real father was a monster. I couldn't take it when Wayne mad her cry. No one makes my daughter cry, no one. That's I lost it. I told him to stop, that he lost already, that he should just give up. I couldn't bare being in that room anymore.
When we walked out of the room I breathed in the fresh air. I was starving, tired, and sad. We all quietly walked into the limo. I could feel the tension in the air. "I'm sorry." I breathed out.
"El, you have nothing to be sorry about." Liam began, oh here comes Daddy Direction. "This was a hard thing on all of us. You had your secret past come out in front of an about a hundred people. You shouldn't have to say sorry to us. Yes we still have things to talk about, but that doesn't mean we don't love you any different as we did before. We can talk at the hotel, when we are all together." He told me as we started to drive off.
I just nodded my head, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't feel anything, I was numb. Falling into the little black hole as it grew, widening, inviting me to come back. 'No El, fight it.' I told myself.
'Come back to me El.' The voice screamed in my head. 'Come back, I've missed you!' Great, now I'm hearing voices again. NO, this can't be happening to me. They were.. they were gone, Doctor Mann said I was better? Am I better, I was better. Was I really better? Great, I'm talking to myself again.
"El, did you hear what I said?" Harry asked me looking at my very strangely. I just shook my head, I was at a loss of words. "I said, we are here." He said grabbing my hand softly.
"Oh." Was all I said quickly before following him out of the limo. Soon enough, the flashes of the annoying cameras came and people were shouting the most ridiculous things.
"Harry, is this your girlfriend?"
"Harry, who is the lovely lady?"
"What happened to Alyssa?"
"Is it true that you are this woman's baby daddy?"
I didn't even laugh at the stupidity that was being displayed. The 'Paps' were so annoying and nosy, don't they have a life? I feel bad for them really though, they can't really get a better job. Who would want that job anyway? I felt a tad bit bad for them.
I walked behind Harry silently, not wanting to talk to everyone. I was stuck in my own mind. Aliv was sleeping in Liam's arms. Jean and Niall were talking to Harry about something that I wasn't paying attention to. I could feel the tension in the elevator, the spaces were closing in. I was never a fan of these contraptions, I always had that feeling that it was going to snap and fall. I snuggled into Harry a little more, with him cautiously putting his arms around me.
Great, now he is going to treat me differently. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I don't want to be treated like I am broken again. It feels that everyone is walking on egg shells, waiting for me to crack. I felt the tears brim on my eyes, threatening to leave. I stopped them, not wanting to make myself look weak. I didn't notice that we were back at the room until I ran into Harry's backside.
"Sorry," I whispered before making my way into the room. I didn't even wait for his response. I felt the tears start to flow, I couldn't keep myself together. I was slowly breaking, going back into that cold scary world. My Dark Side. "I can feel you slipping El. We are waiting for you." I slumped to my knees as I could feel everyone's eyes fall watching me as I broke. The walls were coming down, those sturdy walls all falling down.
"El, no. Listen to me, you aren't breaking." I felt strong arms wrap around me. It wasn't Harry's or Liam's, It was.. It was Louis'. I could feel his tears fall on my face. "You aren't breaking on me again. You aren't leaving me again." He started to rock back and forth, trying to sooth me. "You can't leave me Boo Boo Bear."
I struggled to get out of his arms. I looked at everyone's shocked expression's and left the room. Closing the door behind myself, escaping into myroom. He knows, he knows, how does he know? How did he know what I was feeling? How did he know I was breaking? Am I that easy to read? I stripped out of my outfit from court and wiped off the make up. I slid into to bed, I wasn't hungry. I was.. I was just tired. I could hear yelling outside of my door, I couldn't make out any of the words. I sighed as my eyes fluttered closed.
-----------------
*Louis' Point of View*
"YOU DID WHAT?" Harry yelled at me. I cringed, I didn't think that would be his reaction to this.
"I took El's journal from your suitcase." I said again. We were all sitting there. Jean, Niall, Liam, Zayn, Kelly and Harry. "I knew she wasn't telling us everything. Harry, you didn't remember her. For two weeks she was crying on that roof. Singing her heart out, playing Niall's guitar. She's hurt, breaking. She isn't as strong, as she wants all of us to think she is."
"But that doesn't mean you take her journal for inside scoop." Liam sternly yelled at me.
"BUT I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE TO READ IT. YOU READ IT LIAM, HARRY READ IT. KELLY READ IT. ZAYN WAS WITH ME WHEN WE READ IT. SO DON'T TELL ME I WAS ONLY USING IT FOR AN INSIDE SCOOP." I yelled back at him. I am so tired of him being so over protective of her. He needs to move on from the stupid past and just be happy with Danielle. I don't even know what they were thinking. I hate him. I hate the fact that he acts to mature for his age. I mean, I am the oldest. I shouldn't feel like a child anymore. Yeah I pull pranks, but what fun would we have if I didn't do it? NONE, because Mr. Daddy Direction has to have control. WITH EVERYTHING. "SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND TOO. WE ALL LOVE EL. I JUST WANTED TO HELP HER. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO HELP HER WHEN I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. AND YOU BEING ALL PROTECTIVE OF HER. OTHER PEOPLE CAN HELP. SHE IS SCREWED UP ENOUGH AS IT IS LIAM. STOP MESSING WITH HER FEELINGS." I spit at him walking away. I was done with this, I was disgusted. I walked into my room slamming the door shut.
-----------------
*Harry's Point of View*
"Do you really have feelings for her? Still?" I breathed out asking Liam. My head was in my hands, I couldn't believe this. There was too much drama for this whole week. We still have tour, we were falling apart at the seams. Louis is mad at Liam, Liam still fancies El, El is breaking down. How am I suppose to keep this all together? Glue back the pieces together.
"I did, but then I realized that she was happy with you. I didn't want to get in the way of that, plus I have Dani. And I really like her." I looked at him with disbelief, I couldn't describe the pain that flashed through me. That I my best mate was dating my girl behind my back. I did treat her like crap but I was young. I didn't know what I was doing, I needed to maintain the image that management made me portray.
"Good, stay away from El." I spatted harsher than I wanted to do. I saw hurt pass through his eyes. "Look, mate I didn-"
"You know what Harry. Save it." Was the last thing he said to me before he walked into his room.. that he shared with Lou. What can possibly go wrong now?
"Harry, go check on El." Jean told me, looking at me sympathetically. I smiled warmly to her and Niall and got up from the couch. I walked into the room finding a sleeping El. She had tears flowing from eyes, her face was in pain. Oh Elexandra, what was going on in that pretty little head of yours?
-------------
*Louis' Point of View*
I looked up my pillow to find a now pissed Liam storming into the room. I didn't say a word to him, giving him the silent treatment. He broke my trust and probably Harry's. How could he do that? I mean come on, he has a wonderful girlfriend back home. I get that he and El were closer than anyone before, but she was Harry's. Even through all the crap he's put her through and now look where we are. Everyone is fighting, El's breaking again. The only semi-happy ones are Zayn, Kelly, Jean, and Niall. We are falling apart. It has been weeks since we performed. Fans are getting angry, we have an interview tomorrow. How are we suppose to get through that tomorrow, without wanting to rip each others throats out?
"Lou, look. I know you hate me and everything, but hear me out okay?" He started.
"What Liam." I snapped back at him. I looked up to see him have tears falling down his eyes. "Liam, don't cry. What's wrong?"
"You read her journal." Liam whispered. I nodded my head to tell him to go on, "You cried didn't you? Reading it?" I nodded again. "I didn't cry. I didn't feel anything. I just went on like nothing happened. I went to the gym, punched the bag a couple hundred times. I never cried.. She's my best friend." I didn't say anything, I just looked at the sad younger boy. "She's my best friend, I don't want her getting hurt like that. I know something isn't right, Lou. I've heard her sing on the roof too."
"I thought I was the only one." I whispered.
"I don't think anyone else knew until you mentioned it. She's sick Lou." I just stared at him.
"How.. how sick?" I stuttered through.
"I don't know. She didn't tell anyone. We found out in court when the defense lawyer told Harry about it on the stand." He shook his head. "It's killing her." And with that Liam and I both broke out with sobs.
"Liam, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was just angry that you and Harry were able to know so much more than me or the rest of the guys. We tell each other everything." I cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"No, Lou. You were right, you have the right to be mad at me. Sometimes I feel that I am to uptight, that I can lay loose. Relax a little. I'm sorry." I smiled weakly as I handed him tissues.
"We need to man up." I said in my Superman voice, trying to get him to laugh. Which he did, VICTORY IS MINE.
"What time is it Lou, I'm starved." Liam asked me rubbing his stomach.
"It is four twenty in the afternoon. We could order some pizza's? I bet everyone is hungry." I said grabbing the pamphlet that the front desk manager gave me.
"Yeah, pizza sounds good. I'll go ask what toppings everyone wants, and go talk to Harry." Liam said straightening his shirt, leaving me alone with the pizza menu in my hands.
She's sick?
----------------------
*El's Point of View*
I woke up to an empty room and the smell of pizza. I looked over at the time and saw that it was now 7 at night. I slowly made my way out of the comfy bed, making it quickly. And then trudged over to the bathroom. I looked up at the mirror and saw a girl looking back at me. She was a young girl, maybe only twelve. She looked so sad, so broken. She had scratches all over her face, her arms. What did she do to herself? I closed my eyes tightly trying to escape the look of little girl. I opened them again to find out that young girl was me, I looked at my body. There were scratch marks everywhere.
What did I do? Everything feels so itchy, I just wanted to scratch. So that's what I did. I scratched and scratched until I was bleeding. I jumped into the shower washing the grossness from my body. I had to bite my tongue from the burning sensation, coming from my open scratches. I got out of the shower wrapping a navy blue towel around my body. I was still bleeding but it didn't phase me.
I quickly got dressed into a pair of jean shorts with one of Harry's Jack Wills sweatshirts. I creeped out of the room, not making noise. Everyone was out in the lounge watching a movie, eating pizza.
They don't care about you El. You are just a charity case to them.
No, they care about me. They probably didn't want to wake me up, they care about you.
No they don't. Harry is just using you. He has a girlfriend back in AAustralia, you really think they he loves you?
He does love me, and he broke up with her. For me.
Yeah, he broke another girls heart. Just like he hurt yours.
Shut up and get out of my brain. I looked back into the room and saw that everyone was asleep. I laughed to myself quietly, I was right that they do care about me. Sometimes I don't know what goes through my head. I just don't like the feeling of being hurt again. It constantly haunts me, everyday. When I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night.
I continued to walk past the lounge. I walked cautiously, not to wake anyone up. I didn't want to talk about what happened today. Or well, what I think was today. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, especially after what happened with me breaking down in Louis' arms. It was a moment of weakness, and I didn't want to show anyone that. I don't like being weak. I don't like feeling like that.
I arrived at my destination, Niall and Jean's room. I turned the knob slowly, and slipped past the wood door. I raped the wall, trying to find the light switch. After searching for about two point five minutes I turned on the light. I looked around to see their pretty tidy but messy room until I found what I was looking for. Niall's guitar. I don't think he knows but I've been taking it every night or day. I want to ask him, but I didn't want him to ask questions. And right now, I don't think would be a good idea. He looked so.. so fragile, ready to break at the trial.
I know his insecurities are bad, because of all the hate he has gotten. I don't want him to feel like that, he was like the brother that I never had. He was my best friends boyfriend, and to think that he actually thought he liked me. I knew he really didn't, I saw it in his eys. But now when I look at the happy couple, I see the love burning through both of their eyes. It is really a magical thing. Sometimes it makes me wonder if Harry and I look like that. If we really had that spark. I mean, when he kisses me, I feel numb. Butterflies flutter in my stomach every time he looks at me. Isn't that what love is?
I grabbed the precious guitar and made my way back out of the room. Everyone was still sleeping except for.. Aliv. She saw me and gently moved her way out of Zayn's arms. "Mummy where are you going with Uncle Ni's guitar?" She asked me with a look of concern.
"You wanna come?" I asked her, not exactly telling her what I was going to do. She nodded taking my hand. I lead her out of the hotel room and we made our way to the elevator. I looked over at Aliv who looked like she was deep in thought. I smiled slightly as the elevator opened to the last floor, the roof.
"Mummy you come up here a lot, don't you?" Aliv looked up at me sitting on a little chair in front of where I was standing. She was in a different outfit from earlier, her hair was still a mess of
I let go of her hand sitting down on one of the many concrete blocks. I looked up to see the beautiful city view, with my back to the "Yes, I come up here to sing. Do you want me to sing for you baby?"
She nodded vigorously as I took out the guitar out of its case. "Can I sing with you?" She asked me.
"Sure baby, what song?" I asked her playing some random chords to make sure all of the strings were in tune.
"ONE THING!" She shouted. I mentally groaned to myself but started playing the familiar tune. We have done this a bunch of times, except I was playing the piano. I would take Louis, Harry, and Liam's parts and Aliv would take Zayn and Niall's parts. I took a confident deep breath, this is what I love about being on the roof, no one could hear me.
I've tried playing it cool, but when I'm looking at you, I can't ever be brave. 'Cause you make my heart race. Shot me out of the sky, You're my kryptonite. You keep making me weak, Yeah, frozen and can't breathe. I smiled finishing the part, looking at Aliv who started Zayn's part,
Some things gotta give now, 'Cause I'm dying just to make you see, That I need you here with me now. 'Cause you've got that one thing. We both joined at the chorus, I closed my eyes picking up the pace of the song.
So get out, get out, get out of my head, And fall into my arms instead I don't, I don't, don't know what it is. But I need that one thing, and you've got that one thing
Now I'm climbing the walls, But you don't notice at all, That I'm going out of my mind, All day and all night
Some things gotta give now 'Cause I'm dying just to know your name And I need you here with me now 'Cause you've got that one thing
So get out, get out, get out of my head And fall into my arms instead I don't, I don't, don't know what it is But I need that one thing
So Get out, get out, get out of my mind And come on, come into my life I don't, I don't, don't know what it is But I need that one thing And you've got that one thing
oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa... You've got that one thing
Get out, get out, get out of my head And fall into my arms instead
So get out, get out, get out of my head, And fall into my arms instead I don't, I don't, don't know what it is But I need that one thing
So Get out, get out, get out of my mind, And come on, come into my life I don't, I don't, don't know what it is But I need that one thing, And you've got that one thing.
We continued to dance as I sang more songs. Aliv sang with me to the ones I knew, laughing doing her cute little dance moves that I guess Zayn taught her. Then she did the "One, Two, Three.. Flick" and that's when I died of laughter.
That's when I started feeling the numbness slowly take over my legs. It has been happening a lot lately. I've been taking my medicine though.
"Mummy, are you okay?" I heard Aliv's distant voice ask me. I don't know what's going on. I think, I think I'm having an attack. I sat back down on the concrete slab, placing the guitar back into its case. I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I couldn't feel my toes, they didn't feel as if they were there. Why is this happening?
Flashback
"You could go into relapse a couple weeks after giving birth. After you settle in at home, I want you to come in right away for your steroids."
"Well, I haven't had an attack for a while, and I don't want steroids. All they do is make you crazy, fat, and sick. Plus, isn't there a way I can do this at home? I can go to physical therapy, they have a program that I can go to." I told him, not wanting to be back in the hospital for awhile.
"We can teach you how to give yourself a shot that has to be taken once a week. You have to promise to be careful El. Make sure you monitor your symptoms of depression. Have you been feeling any of them since you began taking the medication?"
"Okay I'll do that and I haven't had any symptoms. I take it every day, I have a schedule every morning. Plus, Jean will be with me at all times. And my therapist says I seem fine. I feel fine, now actually. Just a little pain in my foot."
"What does the pain feel like?"
"Like someone is poking it with a knife."
"El, are you experiencing anything else?"
"No just that, why?"
"You are having a minor attack. I will be right back with the nurse to teach you how to use the syringe. Do you want me to tell Mr. Styles or Mr. Payne about this?"
"NO." I shouted at him, taking a deep breath. "No, I will tell them in time."
"I suggest that you tell them about this soon. Even though you don't seem to feel the symptoms, your tests show that you are slowly progressing." I looked up at the doctor to see him looking at my chart, I felt the tears slowly roll down my cheeks.
"How long?"
"In around a couple weeks, you will not be able to walk. We think, we don't know the course of your MS exactly. If you start the medicine and combine with your depression medicine, we can see where that takes us." The doctor told me before a nurse walked in to teach me how to give myself those shots. All that I could think about was not being able to take care of Aliv and Eli, not being able to walk, and that Harry would just leave me when he finds out.
End of Flashback
"Mummy, are you hurt?" I saw Aliv's wide eyes come back into my view. "Mummy, you are sick. Let me go tell Daddy!" She yelled at my, but I was slowly coming back. Her face was skewed, twisting in different views. She looked like she was in a haze, I just nodded my head. Slowly the fuzziness turned to blackness.
I soon heard people's voices and feet running. "Mummy, Daddy is here. He will help you." Aliv's voice rang out loudly. I just nodded my head, unable to speak. I tried to get my eyes to let me see, they just.. wouldn't.
"El, what's wrong?" A deep husky voice asked me as I felt strong arms grasp my arms. I just pointed to my eyes, then to my legs. "Can you focus on my eyes?" I tried to get my eyes to work, but they just felt like they were moving everywhere. "Can you see me?" I shook my head no. "Do you know who I am?" I nodded my head, Harry. I said in my brain.
"Harry, what's wrong with El?" I heard another voice ask, he spoke really fast so that means.. Liam.
"She's having an attack, what do we do?" Harry's strangely calm voice asked Liam. Silence, no one was moving or talking. I felt my upper half of my body being moved into a bridal position. Did someone lift me? I felt the breeze hit me as, who I guess was Harry started to walk.
That's when Aliv's response shocked me the most, "We have to take Mummy to the hospital. To see her doctor."
"Aliv, you are a genius." An Irish voice told her. Niall. I felt the cool autumn air change into the air conditioning of the elevator. Soon, I felt the machine move slowly downward. We were pretty high up, this was going to take awhile. Strangely, I was calmed. I could feel someone rubbing my back, drawing shapes. I smiled as I realized it was Aliv.
"Mummy, are you calm now?" I heard her whisper shyly. I nodded my head in response. Soon I could feel wetness drop on my head, somone was.. Crying? Was Harry crying? I used my hands to reach slowly to the persons face to wipe away the tears. Then I put my fingers to his lips signaling, Shhh then I shook my finger as in Don't, next I touched his tear track for Cry. I tried to sooth him.
"What is she doing?" I heard another boy's voice whisper. It must have been, Zayn.
"She's telling him not to cry. That it will be okay." I heard a woman's voice whisper to someone. I realized it was Jean's Jenna Marbles sounding voice. I nodded my head to tell her that is what I was doing.
"She's still trying to make everyone feel better, when she is in pain." Zayn whispered again. I could feel his smile, as in a proud older brother. I smiled putting my head against Harry's chest closing my eyes, falling asleep.
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*Harry's Point of View*
I could feel El's little snores against my chest. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. Her chocolate brown eyes were moving in all directions, as if they were trying to find mine. That's when I noticed that she couldn't see me. She didn't even flinch when I leaned again her legs.
"Harry, it'll be okay." Liam tried to assure me as we were close to the lobby of the hotel. I couldn't say anything to him. Part of me is still mad at him, and the other part was forgiving him because he is one of my best mates. I just nodded my head as I stepped out of the elevator when got to the lobby floor.
"There are so many people out there still." Louis told us, speaking for the first time. I saw how distraught he was. We didn't talk about the journal or anything when we ate the pizza. I wasn't ready for it, I didn't want to have the talk with the boys with Aliv sitting there or El not being there.
"Zayn, Louis, and I will go first and push through. Harry you carry El after us. Ni you have Aliv and Jean." Liam instructed us, in full Daddy Direction mode. Thank God that he is here. Maybe I'll forgive him. We all nodded as we started our mission. I saw Niall tighten his grip on my daughter as Jean pulled up her hoodie and placed sunglasses on. I shifted El's weight so I could have a better hold on her fragile body and we made our way through the great mass of people.
I safely slipped into the SUV and as everyone finished getting into the car, the driver drove off.
*At the Hospital.. Again.*
As soon as we got to the hospital it was mass chaos. We had to walk in the huddled group to even get through to the emergency room. We walked in as fast as we could, and as soon as we walked through the door Lou yelled, "I NEED A DOCTOR." And every nurse or doctor came running.
"What's wrong sir?" The nurse asked him as if he was the patient.
"NO." He yelled like a crazy mad man until he regained his composure, some what. "Not me, my friend." Louis pointed over to me, struggling to get into the place. That's when the nurses rolled over a stretcher and security came running pushing the crowd back. They told me to lay El down gently and that's what I did. I followed them as they started to roll Elexandra away from me.
"What is her name?" A nurse asked me, as she stopped me from following.
"Elexandra Lumbardo." I told her trying to get past.
"Sir, I need you to stay calm. Do you know if she has any medical problems?" She asked me as she pushed me back.
"She has MS." I told her as I gave up trying to get past.
"Do you know who her doctor is? How long has she been diagnosed?"
"No, I don't know. I just found out. Now can I go with her?" I pleaded.
"Only family back there."
"She's my.." I started, "She's my fiancé." I lied easily and she told me to follow her. Oh what a stubborn woman, and she was spitting like constantly when she talked. Gross. I just wanted to see my El.
"Wait here for a few seconds." The bimbo blonde nurse told me winking. We stopped at one of the rooms as I saw doctors look her over. Nurse's set up IV's and change her into one of those ugly hospital gowns, but on El it looked so beautiful. She made anything look beautiful, if only she could see it. How she lights up a whole room with her presence. They way she sings, makes me have the shivers. I just want her to sing all the time, and now she couldn't even talk to me. "Sir, you can come in now." The blonde came back out of the room leading me in.
There was an awake El, who's eyes were looking for something. Her brow was scrunched up and she had one of those cute pouts on. I chuckled as I pulled up a chair to her bed. "Hey there sleepy." I told her. She waved, smiling as she recognized my voice.
"How are you feeling?" I asked her taking her hand. She moved the other on in a "so-so" manner. "I see, you can here me right?" She nodded to say "yes." "Do you know where you are?"
She looked like she was deep in thought, as in how to tell me. I saw her put hand in a Y and put it up to her ear. She wanted my phone. She wanted to talk that way. I smiled as I pulled it out unlocking it for her, putting it on the notepad so we could talk. She took it and started typing away at it, and then showed it to me.
I am in the hospital right?
"Correct, how did you know?" She smiled as she went back to typing.
I can hear the machines, and Aliv suggested to come here. Since I bet you were all to shocked to do anything. I chuckled after reading what she wrote, I could hear her melodic voice ring though my ears. We continued to talk on and on like this. Doctors and nurses came and went doing different tests, checking her for certain things. The one nurse actually started crying when she walked in. I don't know why exactly, but I guess she saw how I was feeling, hopelessly in love.
El would fall asleep off and on again but when she was awake, she would try to giggle at the funny jokes I told her to past the time but the sound never came. I frowned at points, but I quickly turned them to smiles as El would sense my mood changes. Soon she drifted off to sleep again. I looked at my phone to see the texts and calls El and I ignored.
MY CARROT: Harry, what is going on? We are all freaking out, its been three hours since you guys left.
DADDY DIRECTION: Is everything okay back there? We are are worried. Keep us posted, x
BRADFORD BAD BOI: Please tell me if my little sister is okay? Aliv is asking for the both of you.
LEPRECHAUN: Jean and I are worried, Aliv is crying her eyes out. I'm getting hungrier by the second, come on Harry text us back.
I decided to just text Liam back, because he would tell everyone what I said.
ME: Sorry Liam, El woke back up when I walked into the room and her typing into my phone was the only way we could communicate. They keep running different tests, cat scans, MRIs, all this stuff. I don't really know what is going on. Can you come back here, say you are her brother and send everyone else home. Tell Aliv that El and I love her and that we would see her tomorrow. Thanks. xx
I sent him the message quickly as a nurse came in, "Sir, would you like anything to drink?"
"Yes, please." I told her thankfully and she left again. Everyone so far, except that blonde woman, has been very kind. They acted like they didn't know who I was, which I was very grateful for. Soon the door opened again and I looked up to find a tear stained Liam. "Li." I whispered as I walked over to him, taking him into my arms.
"Harry, I'm so sorrry. You are one of my best mates, I don't know what I was thinking. I should have stopped it, I should have.." He began to sob, I didn't know what to do. Liam is always the one helping us with our problems. The mature one. "I didn't cry when I read her journal. I'm just so sorry." He cried.
"Shh, Liam. Everything is okay." I told him as the nurse came back into the room with a soda. She set it down mouthing,
"Should I get another soda and some snacks for you boys?" I nodded my head thankfully. Liam soon calmed down sitting on the other chair in the room. He was still crying a little as he took El's hand in his kissing it.
"I'm sorry El. This is my fault" He kept on repeating as the nurse came back giving me the soda and snacks. I thanked her again and she walked out of the room.
"Liam, I forgive you mate. I was a stupid boy back then, I grew up. Let's just start fresh, okay forget about the past?" I told him as I took El's other hand. "It's not your fault that El's sick. It isn't your fault Liam. So don't say that." I said sternly. He looked up at me nodding his head before releasing her hand. He drank the soda cautiously as we both sat there in silence.
Soon the door opened again with El's real doctor. I got up to shake his hand, "Mr. Styles, it's a pleasure to meet you. Big fan, big fan." He told me. I smiled weakly before releasing his hand before I sat back down. "Mr. Payne, or should I say Lumbardo. You didn't have to pretend to be her brother son." The doctor laughed as I saw Liam blush. I chuckled as I felt El begin to stir again. "Looks like sleeping beauty is starting to wake up. Did you guys notice her scratches all over her body?"
"No, I didn't notice them. Is that a symptom?" I asked the man as El slowly opened her eyes to only have a look of disappointment again. She still couldn't see.
"Yes, so is loss of vision and speech." He said looking at the chart. "Did she tell you like I told her to?"
"She did not, sir. I was told earlier today." I reported sadly, why didn't she tell me?
"You mean yesterday, it is now ten after midnight." He informed me. I dind't even know it was that late. "El, can you hear me?" The doctor asked her as she tried to look for him. She nodded in response. "Can you try to talk for me?"
She nodded again, and opened her mouth. Nothing came out. She closed her mouth as tears started to trickle down her face. Liam and I both reached to wipe them away. I looked up at him and he looked apologetically at me. I shook my head as if it was okay, he can continue. "Shh, El. Don't cry, we will get your voice back." I told her as I started to rub the circles around her back.
"El, I'm sorry I have some good new and bad news." I looked up to see the doctor grimacing. She cocked her head to the side as to tell him to keep going, "Good news is that with speech therapy we think you are able to gain that voice back." He said a little lighter. She only nodded, squeezing my hand. "Bad news is that, because of the optic neuritis you had four months ago, it seems that it did more damage and it cause you to loose your sight and your ability to walk has been greatly lowered. I'm sorry." He told her and El's face lay emotionless. I could feel the tears roll down my face.
"Is there anyting we can do? So they can come back?" I asked, in despair.
"We can try physical therapy, but that is going to be very challenging. Very repetitive, to be done on an everyday business." He told me, "But you guys are beginning tour in a couple days? I don't think it would be a good idea for El to go." I nodded my head as I tried to process what he just said. My El can't see anymore, those beautiful eyes won't see how beautiful she really is, they won't see our son grow up. I know inside that she's probably dying inside, I looked at her face to see it emotionless. I kissed her cheek as I stepped outside with the doctor.
"Can someone teach me how to do her medicine? I want to learn as much as I can to help her. She needs to stay with me, and we are leaving for London after the tour. I need this." I told him and the doctor smiled taking me into the room. I was going to learn as much as possible to help her. I'm going to get my El back.
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Hai guys, so Im sorry I made you wait for this sucky chapter. I've been having a hard time writing. I always write, but I don't think it sounds good so I delete what I had. Ugh. SO again Im sorry that I made you wait for so long. Please don't hate me. I feel horrible enough as it is. This week was a very stressful one for me, although, I don't even know why. LIfe is crazy. SO please leave me comments, votes and suggestions are always welcomed.
I wanted to dedicate this chapter to, 7keiko10 because she has basically saved me from my writers block. She chatted me the one day after I said I couldn't fall alseep during the storm and kept me company. Thanks kidddo! she's nice too and we have become really good friends, check out her story, My Father's Last Wish (One Direction Fan Fic) thank you guys!
And lastly, I dunno, but I have this feeling to delete my account, but I dont know. I feel like I'm writing because I love to write and don't get me wrong, you guys are great. Sometimes I feel weird writing about the boys lives like this because they were normal teenagers like us one day. I dunno, how would you feel if you learned that people were writing about you. Honestly I kind of would feel creeped Out, so tell me your opinons.
Sorry for such a lousy chapter, and such a long A/N. So please comment, vote, fan if ya like. Tell me your feelings. Thanks again for reading. Im sorry if this chapter is long too.
NIght,
El.