Chapter Nineteen.
The beach is a lot farther away than I thought. By the time I get to the beach it's surrounded in dusk, except for a few street lights, lighting up the parking lot. The sound of waves crashing onto the shore, already calms me. Along with the salt in the air, relaxing every muscle and bone in my body. I walk closer to sit right in front of the water, but see a man's figure sitting, watching the water and the motion of the waves. Just looking at the backside of him, I can't tell who it is. You've got to be kidding me!
"What the hell is this!" I shout.
His head slowly turns to look at me, letting me know that I was indeed right. It's Van, you know what, I think I'm going to call him Vance. Since I'm still mad at him, it's only the right thing to do. After all, I am the only one who calls him Van, so it doesn't really matter.
"Vance, what are you doing?" I ask. "You're supposed to be at your grand-"
"Yeah, and they live in that beach house over there," Van replies, his words a little slurred while pointing towards a small house with a front porch light on. There's something in his other hand though and I can't quite make it out.
"Well, you need to go back inside," I tell him, putting my hands on my hips.
"Abby, it's a free beach, you can't just tell me when to leave," Van says.
"Really? Because I think I am," I say. "Now leave!" He shakes his head and drinks something from a tall clear bottle. "What is that? Are you...drinking?"
"Yeah, found it in my grandpa's liquor cabinet, it's horrible, want some?" he asks, holding it out to me.
Why not? My life is pretty much screwed up, I might as well enjoy what's left of it. I take the bottle and gulp a long hard drink from it. I pull back and start coughing. Okay, that was a little too strong. "That's disgusting," I tell him.
Van starts laughing. "Come sit down."
I walk closer and sit in the sand, but not close to him. I'm still really mad at him. I hand the bottle back to him.
"Are you still mad?"
I nod. "I um, told my mom, and Darren and I made her tell our dad."
He shoots a look at me. "I told you not-"
"Yeah, well, I stopped listening to the pointless people in my life," I snap at him.
Van looks away from me while asking, "So what happened?"
I take the bottle from him and take a really long drink before answering. "My dad left, he's staying at a friends, and I'm pretty sure that they're splitting up." I pause, handing the bottle back to him again. "I've never seen my dad so mad, you know?"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I shake my head. "No and especially not with you."
"Hey, I tried calling Kyle, but he didn't answer and he always answers. What's going on with him and the guys?"
I shrug. "They aren't talking to us because we're fighting."
Van sighs. "Everything falls apart when we aren't together. Not that we're uh, together, because you know, we aren't, and that's totally, not...um, I'm going to shut up now."
"Thank god."
"So, are we going to stop fighting?" Van asks quietly.
I shake my head. "No, Vance. There aren't even words to describe how mad at you I am."
"Do you want to hit me?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I would very much love to hit you," I answer.
Van moves so that he's facing me. "I'll let you beat the shit out of me if you forgive me and stop calling me Vance," he says.
Really? He would let me beat the shit out of him? "You would do that?" I ask confused.
He nods. "Yeah."
I take a deep breath. "I can't hit you."
"Really, because you sure went Hitty McHitterson on Kendall the other say," Van reminds me, taking a drink, then handing it to me.
I laugh taking another big drink. "Hitty McHitterson?" I question.
Van chuckles. "Why can't you hit me? Do you still have feelings for me Abby?"
Now he's teasing me, which is exactly why I didn't want to tell him that. I shouldn't have told him that. Admitting that you have feelings for somebody gives that person the power to dangle it over your head. Which is what Van is doing now.
"Yep, you caught me, I have feelings for a big dick-faced jerk," I reply sarcastically.
"And the alcohol brings out her true colors," he laughs, taking a drink, then passing the bottle to me.
"You're such a butthead," I say annoyed, taking a drink.
"Butthead? How creative," he takes the bottle back and gulps more down.
I snatch it back and take a long drink. "I'm more creative than you are, mister Hitty McHitterson," I throw at him, laughing.
"You know, you suck at being mad at me," Van says laughing.
"I can't be mad at you, it'll get in the way of my drinking."
Van stops laughing and so do I. I need to go back into hate-mode because I'm not giving in. I can't give in, if I do then that will just allow Van to keep doing what he was doing before. Which, I'm not really sure what he was doing, at the moment. My head is a little lost right now. My head feels like it's engulfed in pure bliss, making everything feeling great and stress-free.
I open my mouth to say something, but rain starts pouring from the dark sky, making ripples in the water, causing me stop.
Van stands up and holds out a hand to me, while gripping the bottle half full of whatever is in there. I push his hand away and stand up on my own.
"Really? Really? Here I am trying so fucking hard to get you to forgive me and you can't even-"
I cut him off before he can finish that sentence. "You started this, Vance! You didn't tell me anything!" I shout at him. Great, we're fighting, again.
Van looks down at the ground, kicking sand with his shoes. "You still don't get why I didn't tell you, that's what pisses me off. I didn't tell you about this for a reason. I told you it was because I didn't want to hurt you," he pauses. "But you know now, so why can't we just forget about this? You know what's going on, so how is staying mad at me helping any?" he asks.
Van's drunk, he's not supposed to be smart like this. "Because, it makes it easier to deal with, if I just blame it all on you," I answer quietly, while rubbing the sides of my arms, trying to create friction to get warm.
Van looks like he wants to say something, but he stops himself and simply says, "Come on, lets get out of the rain."
I follow behind Van, making sure to keep my distance. We sit on the top porch step and it gets really quiet for a while. I wonder what Van is thinking about? I wonder if it's Kendall he's thinking about. Does he miss her at all? I mean, he has to, right? Wait, why do I care if he misses Kendall?
"You know, my mom's considering taking my dad back," Van tells me, his voice really soft.
"Really?" I ask.
He nods. "I love my parents, but is it weird to say that I don't want her to take him back?"
I shake my head. "Not at all. I don't want my dad to take my mom back," I reply.
"Wait," Vance says. "Are we actually agreeing on something?"
Oops. "I guess so..."
"Can you just face the fact that you can't stay mad at me?" Van asks.
I stand up, whoa, that was too fast because my head is starting to spine. I'm back in the rain again. "No, Vance, I can't. it's bad enough that I can't stop thinking about you!" I shout. "I shouldn't have to forgive you. When was the last time you had to forgive me for something? That's right, you've never had to forgive me for anything because I'm a good friend and I tell you everything! Especially when it involves you!" I should slow down before I say something really stupid, but I can't help it, I'm on a roll.
Van looks up at me and smiles. "You can't stop thinking about me?"
"No, I can't. I think about you every time I open the fridge and see your nasty-ass strawberry milk! I think about you when I eat Oreo's and there's nobody to eat the leftover cookie! I even think about you in the shower!" I say, realizing that I could've left that last part out.
His eyes widen and a grin forms on his perfect, kissable lips. "The shower, huh?" he asks, huskily.
"Not in the way that you'd want me to, but in the way that I can't stop thinking about you long enough to remember if I already used soap. So I'll use more soap!" I explain. "Not only am I going crazy because of you, but I'm running out of soup!" I add.
Van smiles. "You know, I never noticed how cute you are when you get mad, especially when it's at me."
He thinks I'm cute? Really? That's-NO! Abby, don't even go there. "UGH!" I screech and start stomping off in the now wet sand. "You're totally missing the point!"
"Abbs, wait, I get the point," he calls after me.
"No, Vance, I'm done waiting!" I shout as something catching my wrist an spins me around, to look at Van. I didn't even realize that he was following me.
"Can't we just...work this out?"
"Look, Vance, I forgive you, okay?" I state. "Really, I do, but I don't want to be around you. I can't be around you."
His forehead scrunches in confusion. Gosh, his face looks so adorable when he does that. "Why not?" Van slowly leans in closer, putting a hand on both sides of my face.
"Because, you know...that I...like you in more than a...friend way, which is okay. I get it...but being around you and having you know about it, it...makes things complicated," I get out, managing to stumble almost every word in the process. Van leans in even closer, so close that I can feel his warm breath on me, sending shocks all over my body. "W-what a-a-are you d-doing?" I stutter, still stumbling all over my words, not sure what to do. Van answers by hungrily pressing his lips to mine. I'd push him off of me, if he didn't feel so...amazing. No, I can't do this, I can't pretend that everything's okay.
I bring my hands up to his chest and push him back. "You know, you only do this when you're drunk," I choke out, still in a little trance from that small, but powerful kiss.
"I'm not too...drunk," he replies, slurring his words together.
I can't help, but smile, "yeah, just keep telling yourself that."
"Abby, I um...I think that I...I mean...I know that I'm...a little...drunk right now, but...I think...that I...," Van starts to trail off in his thoughts. He's staring at me for a couple seconds, thinking about what he's going to say next, then he quickly looks away from me and drops his hands from my face.. "Never mind," he says.
"No, what were you going to say?" I ask.
He shakes his head, like what he was going to say is going to magically disappear. "Nothing."
I sigh, annoyed. "Vance, if there's something that you want to tell me, then you come and find me, but until you...get out of this drunken stupor, stay away from me!" I shout at him and start to stomp away, but in wet sand it's kind of mess.
"Fine!" he yells, just as frustrated at me as I am with him.
I look over my should and see Van already walking into the beach house. I stop in the middle of my walking and think. Wait, where am I even going? I don't have anywhere to go. I'm sure as hell not going home, the guys aren't talking to me, Lia's still a little mad at me, and I'm pretty much at my last resort...Van.
It takes all that's inside of me to turn around and make my way up to the front door of Van's grandparents house.
I take a deep breath before knocking on the door. Just do it, Abby, get it over with. I drag my hand up and knock it against the wooded door three times, then quickly cross my arms over my chest, in attempt to keep warm.
The door opens and Van's standing in the open doorway, still holding the clear bottle.
"I, um, really don't want to go back home... I don't have anywhere else to go, and I'm all wet and cold," I admit.
Van nods and stands against the open door, holding it open as I walk past him. You know, in all of the years that I've known Van, I don't think that I've ever been inside of his grandparents house. To be completely honest, he's never even talked about his grandparents. Both of my grandparents live in Laguna Beach which is more than a few hours from here.
"Come on, I'll get you some dry clothes," Van tells me and leads me up the small flight of stairs until we reach an open door.
Van shuffles around in a dresser drawer, while I look around the room. It's dark and there are definitely some indicates that this is house belongs to older people, with stuffed animals, pictures, photo albums, and old antiques.
"Here," Van says, handing me a bundle of clothes. "The bathroom is the second door on your left and there are towels in the closet."
When I'm done drying off and changing, I walk back into the room Van is in and see him laying towards the bottom of the bed, with his feet still touching the ground. He's in a pair of sweat pants and no shirt, I guess he changed out of his wet clothes too. I throw the pair of boxers that he was going to let me wear, at him. They were too big and kept falling off, but the black t-shirt goes a little bit above mid-thigh, so it covers just enough. Even though, I'd be happier if it covered more.
Van sits up, holding the boxers and give me a funny look. "They kept falling down," I explain and he nods.
"I'll, um, sleep on the floor."
"You don't have to, you can sleep in the bed...I mean...," I trail off. Crap! Where was I taking this?
Van's lips quickly curl into a smirk, "are you trying to seduce me, Abbykins?" he asks.
I relax, as long as he's acting like cocky and whore-ish, it's fine. Sometimes it's easier to have him hit on me while he's being cocky and arrogant rather than have him hit on me and be sweet about it. When he's sweet, it makes it harder to try not to like, even when I want so much to hate him.
Van gets underneath the covers on one side and I get in on the other. I don't even know how to act right now. I mean, part of me wants to lean over and lay my head on his chest because he's the only person I have right now, but the other part of me wants to shove him on to the floor and hope he falls to the next floor, like the pizza does in those pizza commercials.
I'm going to regret what I'm about to do, in the morning, but that's hours away...
*********
OHHHH, That right therrr would be called a cliffhanger^^^^ WHICH, i totally LOVE to do..
OKay, i'm going to be completely honest, I have the ending done and right now, it ends...unexpected/bad because Van is based of an actual person, his names Dylan, whom i'm...close? with and we haven't been talking because we got in this MAJOR fight like a month and a half ago and we still aren't talking....well not to each other, we talk through other people, but that's pretty much it...it's really...sad:( I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZINESS!! Sorry, got a little personal, but i figured you'd want to know how this story even got started and it's because of him...stupid jerk-face....
Don't forget to leave me a comment about watchya thinks going to happen next:)
I love you guys LOTS, LIKE TATER TOTS:) Actually, i only like tater tots if there's ketchup so i guess i should say....I LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE KETCHUPED TATER TOTS:)
<3JustKaylay.