***Please read the A/N at the end! It has some stuff that you should know in it!
Rachel observed the rest of the rehearsal in silence. It was almost painful to watch them dance around the stage like emotionless robots. This wasn’t the Vocal Adrenaline that Rachel knew, the one that poured their sweat, blood and tears into every performance. Rachel could’ve mistaken Jesse’s recounts of their rehearsals as war stories back when they were dating. This, although it didn’t look easy, wasn’t exactly what Rachel had expected.
When it was over, she exchanged a quick goodbye with Mr. C, promising she’d be ready for her audition that afternoon. She left the auditorium and headed for her locker. There were a few students in the hallway, but not many since there was still fifteen minutes before the first bell.
Rachel got her books for first period before heading back to the auditorium. She stood just outside the doors, waiting for Nicky so she could ask her about the duet. It was about ten minutes before the doors even opened and students came out, dressed in their uniforms with wet hair, smelling of soap.
Rachel was starting to get impatient. She didn’t have much time before class started, and she couldn’t be late. She was just about to go in and look for Nicky herself when the doors opened and she emerged, her hair pulled back in a damp ponytail.
“Nicky!” Rachel said, pushing off the wall. The girl jumped. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine,” she said with a smile. “Just surprised me. What’s up?”
“Well, I was hoping you could help me with my audition,” said Rachel as she walked with Nicky her locker. “I have to sing a duet, and I know we just met, but I already picked the song and you’d be perfect for it…” Rachel’s words came out quick, like they always did when she was nervous. “You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable with it. I know it’s not easy to perform with a complete stranger, especially for something like this, and-”
“Are you kidding?” Nicky was grinning at Rachel, entering her locker combination without even looking. “I’d love to! I mean, I’m a little surprised you asked me, what with Jesse and all, but I’ll totally do it. What song did you choose?”
“That new Demi Lovato song,” she said, her brow furrowed. “What do you mean ‘with Jesse and all’? What does he have to do with anything?”
“Well, um, I just figured, you know, since you guys were together last year, you’d…” Nicky trailed off, looking away and biting her lip. She clearly didn’t want to delve into Rachel’s old relationship, and she knew why. The only way Nicky would know about her and Jesse is if she was there when it happened, which would mean she was there when they humiliated Rachel in the parking lot. She had been one of the eggers. Rachel waited to feel angry, for the hate to build inside her, but nothing happened. She wasn’t mad at Nicky, or at any of the others for that matter, for what they did last year. With the exception of Jesse, they were all forgiven as far as Rachel was concerned.
“Oh, no,” Rachel laughed. “No way. I’d like to avoid any contact with him whenever possible.”
“Oh, well, okay…” Nicky said while she took out her books. “Well, I’m off to French III with Mr. Petrakis, so I’ll see you later?”
“Sure,” said Rachel. “Thanks again, for helping me with my audition.”
“No problem,” she said, closing her locker. “Find me at lunch, so we can work on it.”
“I will,” Rachel said. “Bye!”
Rachel waved as she walked away. She barely made it to Calculus, sitting down just as the bell rang. The last to arrive, she was stuck sitting next to Jesse in the back again. After last night with Finn, Rachel was in absolutely no mood to deal with Jesse today. She was afraid that if he pulled something like the notes again, she might lose it. He had no right to even look at her after what happened. It had been so easy to forgive the others, but she knew that it would be different with him. She wasn’t sure that she would ever forgive him completely.
Luckily for him, he behaved through the whole class. Rachel could feel him staring at her for a few minutes here and there, but he looked away before she could say anything. When Ms. Evangeline dismissed the class, Rachel prepared herself for an ambush of questions and flirtatious remarks. To her surprise, Jesse was silent. She looked over at him, wondering if he had been replaced by a nice, respectful twin. He was putting his notes in his bag, an uneasy expression on his face. Rachel wondered what he was thinking for a second before she remembered not to care.
She got up and walked out of the classroom, not at all surprised when she heard him follow. She got all the way to her locker before he spoke.
“What happened to you?” he asked, undeniable concern coloring his words. Rachel swapped her Calc stuff for her Spanish textbook and shrugged.
“I told you,” she said, closing her locker and turning away. “I fell.”
“Rachel, come on,” he said, following her down the hall. “Falling down doesn’t give you a black eye. What happened? Did somebody hit you?” Rachel could hear anger creeping into his voice, and she felt her own temper flare up. If he was going to be mad at anyone for hurting her, it should be himself.
“That’s none of your business,” she snapped.
“Are you okay?” he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder. She swatted it off immediately. “How was your dinner with Kurt?”
“Just peachy,” Rachel said, scowling at him. She felt a little bad about how rude she was being, but right now, it was all she could manage. He deserved it, after all.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Oh, yes,” she said with a short, humorless laugh. “I would love to sit down with my ex-boyfriend to have a nice heart-to-heart about my other ex-boyfriend and what was probably the worst night of my life. That sounds absolutely wonderful!”
“Wait, Kurt’s your ex?” he asked, wide-eyed. “I thought he was gay.”
“No, I didn’t mean-” Rachel started. She cut herself off. “Why am I telling you anything? I have to get to class, and you have to leave.”
“We have to talk about our duet, though. I was thinking-”
“Excuse me?” Rachel stopped short, her eyebrows raised.
“Our duet for your audition,” he said, as though it were obvious. “I was thinking about reprising ‘Hello’, since we already know we sound amazing with it, but then I thought we should do something new. I have a few ideas that I want to run by you-”
“Wait a second,” she said, holding up her hand. “Did you just assume that I would want to sing with you?”
“Well, yeah,” he said, confused. “You don’t know anyone else here, and we have killer musical chemistry. It only makes sense.”
“I asked Nicky to help me,” Rachel said. She was almost to her class now, and she practically sighed with relief. She would be safe from Jesse’s intrusive arrogance in just a few steps.
“Nicky?” he asked, incredulous. “Nicky Oakman? The dark haired one? Why did you ask her?”
“I was told I could ask anyone I wanted,” Rachel said. “And I wanted to ask her.”
“I- I just-” he stammered. He looked confused, and Rachel could see in his eyes that she had damaged his pride. He looked genuinely hurt that she had chosen someone else, and she couldn’t help but feel a little bad.
“I know you expected me to come here and just put it all behind me,” she said. “All the lies and the pain and the damage you caused. Just sweep it all under the rug and forget it ever happened. But it did happen, and you broke my heart. So for now, I’m not going to go out of my way to be around you.”
“Rach, I know what I did was horrible, but-”
“No ‘but’,” she said. “There is no ‘but’. I wanted you to be eaten by a lion. And that was before you egged me.”
“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” A smile had started at the corners of his mouth. “But then again, look who I’m talking to.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “I have to go.”
“You know, Nicky isn’t exactly innocent either,” he said. “None of them are. She was there just as much as I was.”
Rachel was in a shocked silence for a moment, not sure she had heard him right. There was no way he was that stupid. “Are you kidding me?” she said, her voice an octave higher than usual. “I don’t care that she was there. I didn’t know her. I didn’t trust her. I didn’t have a relationship with her. I didn’t think that she cared about me, or that she would never hurt me. I wasn’t in love with her.” Rachel shook her head. “Forget it. I’m not having this conversation again. It’s like every time I see you I have to remind you that you were a total ass to me. It’s getting old.”
“Rachel-”
“Shhh,” she said, turning away. “I have to go learn.”
Rachel didn’t wait for a response. She walked straight into the classroom and took her seat. She tried to focus on the lesson Mrs. Shea was teaching, but her mind was on her audition. She had her solo down; even though it wasn’t her favorite style of music, she never had the heart to skip it when it came on her shuffled playlist. It always reminded her of Finn and how he used to blast it on the radio, singing along and using his steering wheel as a drum. Sometimes she’d even sing it with him.
Rachel sighed. Thinking about Finn made her soul ache. She hated how no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t force him out of her heart. It wasn’t the loss of their romantic relationship that was getting to her; she had mourned that too much already. It was their friendship. He was one of her best friends. Rachel was still upset about last night, but it was nothing compared to the loss of her friend.
She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. The duet, she thought. Think about that. Rachel had to talk to Nicky, but she had pretty much figured out how it would work. She’d separated the song into sections for them to sing, and they would harmonize on the chorus. Rachel wrote down all the lyrics on a piece of paper and highlighted her sections. She had never had to prepare an audition on such short notice, and she was starting to get stressed out. There was no time for costumes, or a set, or choreography. There wouldn’t be many opportunities to rehearse before she had to perform. Maybe that’s a good thing. Just you, just your voice and raw talent. Nothing to distract from it.
Rachel was pulled from her thoughts by the movement of her classmates. They were all getting out of their seats and heading for the door. It was already over? She hadn’t even noticed the time passing. Rachel jotted down her homework assignment on the back of her lyrics sheet before gathering her things and leaving. She half expected to see Jesse waiting at her locker like he had yesterday, but he wasn’t there. Rachel wondered if what she’d said had finally gotten through to him, but she didn’t get her hopes up.
She had one more class before lunch: Biology, one of her three classes with Jesse. To her surprise, he left her alone through the whole class and didn’t follow her to the cafeteria afterwards. Maybe he realized that befriending Rachel again wouldn’t be easy, so he gave up. She wouldn’t be surprised.
Rachel had barely set foot in the cafeteria before Nicky was at her side.
“Hey, Rach,” she said, linking their arms together. “Have you thought about how you want to do the song?”
She guided them to an empty table where two trays piled high with food were set. “Yes...did you buy my lunch?” Rachel asked, taking a seat across from Nicky.
“I did,” she said. She took a bite of the apple on her tray. “I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t know what you liked, so I just got a little of everything. You don’t have any allergies, do you?”
“No, I don’t.” Rachel was surprised that Nicky had gone through the trouble to get her lunch. It was a very thoughtful thing for a practical stranger to do. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know,” she said with a smile. “But what are friends for?”
Rachel smiled. Had she already made a friend? Not just a friend, but a good friend? It made her miss McKinley a little less.
“So,” Nicky said around a mouthful of apple. “Your ideas for the audition?”
“Well, I worked out the parts we’d each sing,” she said, pulling out the paper with the lyrics on them. Rachel showed her the progress she had made on the song. They spent their lunch working out the details of the performance: the solos, the harmonies, and the (very minimal) choreography.
“What inspired the song choice?” Nicky asked. “Is it, uh, going out to anyone in particular?”
Rachel let out a short, breathy laugh. “Two people, actually. A few exes,” she said. “Though I’m starting to have a change of heart. I’ve always been so...angry, you know? And I’m sick of it. I just…” Rachel trailed off. She smiled. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to bore you.”
“No, go ahead,” said Nicky, putting her head in her hand as if settling in for a long story. She smiled reassuringly and reached her other hand out to pat Rachel’s shoulder. “You look like you could use someone to talk to.”
“Really?” Rachel asked. She wasn’t sure if Nicky was just being nice or if she genuinely cared. She had no reason to care about Rachel’s problems. “Are you sure?”
“Of course!” Nicky said. “I’ve been told I’m a very good listener.”
Well, alright…” Rachel didn’t know where to begin. How about the beginning? she thought, almost rolling her eyes at herself. “So there’s this guy at my old school, Finn…”
Rachel launched into her story. Nicky was surprisingly easy to talk to, and she really was a good listener. She was quiet for the most part, only gasping or saying things like “Oh my God!” and “No way!” at the right times. Rachel didn’t hold back; she told her everything. She told her about how her and Finn had been friends before they got together, but she’d always liked him, and how last year’s Regionals had brought them together. She told her about what happened with Santana and Puck, and how they broke up after Sectionals. She told her about the fight with Sarah, and her multiple fights with Finn since then.
She had just finished her story when the bell rang and everyone began leaving the lunch room. So caught up in organizing the audition and sharing her story, Rachel had barely eaten anything.
“Well, thanks for listening,” she said as she walked out of the cafeteria with Nicky by her side. “You were right. I really needed someone to talk to.” Rachel loved Kurt, but being Finn’s brother, he could be a little biased sometimes. It was nice to have a fresh pair of ears and a new perspective.
“Anytime,” she said, bumping Rachel’s shoulder. Nicky bit her lip and looked down. “Not that it’s my place, but I think you should talk to him. You’re not going to feel any better until you do.”
“I don’t know,” Rachel said, twisting her hands together. “The way we left things...I don’t know if I can face him.”
“That’s what you thought the first time, and you did it.”
“Yeah, and look how well that turned out,” Rachel mumbled.
Nicky chuckled. “You can do it,” she said. “You’re strong enough. And if you want me to, I’ll go with you for moral support.”
“Thanks, but this is something I need to do on my own.” Rachel sighed. Nicky was right; she had to talk it out with Finn. Maybe she could get Ms. Pillsbury to oversee and counsel their conversation. The thought made her smile.
“Alright,” she said. They walked in silence for a moment, towards Rachel’s locker. “Wait a second,” Nicky said, breaking the silence. “You said two people. Who’s the other ex?”
“Oh, I figured you knew,” Rachel said. “I mean, you know about Jesse and I, and that it didn’t end well…”
“Oh,” she whispered. Nicky looked uncomfortable, and didn’t say anything more. They were almost to Rachel’s locker when she spoke again. “I’m really sorry.” She was so quiet, Rachel almost didn’t hear her.
“It’s okay,” she said. Nicky opened her mouth to respond, but hesitated. “What?”
“It’s just…” she started. She took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’ll regret saying this, but I feel like I have to.”
“What is it?” Rachel asked, worried about what the answer might be.
“He didn’t want to do it,” she said, all of the words coming out at once. She was talking so fast, Rachel had a hard time keeping up with what she was saying. “It was Giselle’s idea, and what Giselle said, you did. None of us really had a choice. Jesse might have been head vocalist, but she ran the club. I just feel so bad about all of it, and I know everyone else does, too. Especially Jesse. I’m not saying you should forgive him, but at least hear him out. Please.”
They were silent for a moment. Nicky was staring at Rachel with a cautious expression, waiting for her to explode with anger. But Rachel was calm, surprising even herself when her voice came out even and strong.
“You’re wrong,” she said, looking her in the eyes. “He had a choice. You all had a choice. You control what you do, not somebody else. And I’ve grown to forgive most of you for it, because you didn’t trick me into some fake relationship like he did. I don’t know if you know what that feels like, but I can tell you that it takes more than ‘feeling bad’ about it to fix things.” Rachel’s voice broke. She took a deep breath before continuing. “Do you know what happened between us? The things that I shared with him? That I trusted him with? I gave him my heart. I trusted him with everything I had just because he told me to. So I’m sorry if I don’t feel like hearing him out. After what he did, he doesn’t deserve anything from me.”
“I’m...I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking at the ground. “You’re right.”
“Me from last week would’ve had a very different answer for you,” Rachel said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I probably would’ve swooned, running off to find ‘my sweet Jesse’ like some pathetic Southern belle.” Rachel laughed in earnest. “Oh, how times have changed.”
Nicky smiled tentatively. “That’s a lot of change in one week.”
“You have no idea,” said Rachel.
She was entering her locker combination when Nicky looked up at one of the analogue clocks hanging on the wall. “Oh, crap!” she exclaimed. “I’m going to be late for English! I have to go, but I’ll see you after school.”
Rachel waved as Nicky walked away. She couldn’t believe her luck. It was her second day and she already had a friend that was honest, kind, and loyal. Rachel smiled the whole way to World History.
***A/N***
So this chapter's longer than usual, but I just needed some stuff to happen for the story's sake. Also some notes: 1) Sunshine will NOT be a part of this fic. Just consider her gone. I have too much going on with Rachel and Jesse and Finn and Regionals to try and include her. 2) I'm going to try and include some actual scenes/plots from the show (like the championship football game, the party at Rachel's, and Valentine's day), just altered dramatically to fit this story. I don't know about you, but I'm particularly looking forward to Valentine's day ;)
Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think in the comments! I makes my day to see that people actually like this (over 1.5k reads!?!?!?! I didn't think I'd get 100!). Let me know what you think of Nicky. Do you want to see more of her? Do you ship the Oakberry friendship? Tell me what you think! I love you guys<3