Chapter 54
Dana's Point of View
'Shit,' i muttered to myself. My head hurts like hell!
Where the hell am i?
Tumingin ako sa paligid ko only to find out na nandito pala ako sa condo ko. Nice. It's been a year simula nung huli kong punta dito. I moved out simula nung umalis si Cyriel papuntang States. I went back home because i don't think i can live alone during those times. I was hurt, no, that's a shitty understatement, i was devastated. Devastated beyond repair.
I originally thought na wala na akong pag asa. I felt like a robot. I was doing the things i need to do. I need to study for my parents, and i bully Jamie because that's the only way i found consolation for what her sister did to me. Yeah, i've been a good girl gone bad. I already accepted that. Sanay na ako eh. What did i do for these to happen to me? Laging kong tanong sa sarili ko dati. Ganun na ba kasamang maging masaya? Ang gusto ko lang naman ay sumaya pero parang ang hirap gawin. What the hell is wrong with me para lagi na lang akong lokohin? At first, si Jarred, then si Andy, tapos ngayon si Cyriel din? God! Am i not that worthy to be loved or is it that i am just too damn naive because i am always being played at?
I smiled to myself after reminiscing, 'i've really come too far.'
I arranged myself first then i went to the nearest convinience store to buy aspirin then i went to a cafe and ordered three shot espresso, just what i needed.
I sat there for quite some time. Medyo masama pa din yung pakiramdam ko kaya nandun muna ako. I don't want to hear my mom's sermon pag nakita niya yung itsura ko. My eyes look blood shot. I look like i cried the whole night. Yeah, i think i kinda did.
I feel horrible. Fcking horrible!
News flash: I just broke up with Andy during his birthday. During his birthday. And i just realized it after i said the word i can't do this anymore.
Looks like i really lived up to my title, i really am a bad girl.
I checked my phone after drinking my coffee.
20 messages.
30 missed calls.
I immediately opened the messages. Most of it came from Sara.
From: BestySara
Where are you, Dana???? Aalis na si Andy ngayon papuntang States!! Hindi ka man lang ba magpapakita??
'Fck," i almost dropped my phone.
I immediately hailed a cab pagkatapos kong mabasa yung mga texts nila. Damn, Dana! Bakit naman kasi kagabi mo pa napiling uminom?? Of all the dates, bakit October 29 pa?! Fck!
Pagdating ko sa kanila, nakita ko agad yung guards nila. I went out and approached them, "uhm, si Andy po?"
They knew me since i frequently came here for almost everyday for more than a month. Nakakatuwang isipin na tumagal din pala kami ni Andy ng ganung katagal. Pero kung iisipin? Sandali lang. A month? Not enough for all the things we've been through. It felt like a year.
"Ay naku, ma'am Dana, nakaalis na po kagabi. Dun po daw siya hanggang April. Ewan ko lang po kung uuwi siya ng pasko..," i didn't respond. No, i cannot speak.
"Ma'am Dana? Hindi niyo po ba alam?"
I just said thanks and went back inside the cab.
"District 5," i said to the driver.
I cannot process what i just heared. Si Andy. States. April. I-i just can't.. I can't even understand myself!
When i arrived at District 5, i immediately ordered absinthe. Fck. I just drank yesternight then here i am again, drinking myslef to death early in the morning.
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Nof's Point of View
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Nagstretching muna ako. Nakakapagod naman kasi yung ginawa namin kagabi. Since birthday slash despedida party ni Andy kagabi, nag movie marathon kami at kumain ng pizza. Define pizza! 10 boxes para sa aming 6?? Hayop kasi yang Guzman na yan, libre na niya daw hanggang April. Kuripot! Birthday na birthday eh. Tss.
Nag ayos nga din kami ng gamit niya, at since pilay naman siya (yeah, tinutukso namin siya ni Kim ng pilay. Hahaha!) hindi na masyadong mabigat yung hand carry niya. Ipapaship na lang yung iba niyang gamit. Sus! Para naman kasing hindi na siya babalik. Daming alam eh!!
After kong magbreakfast, lumabas na ako para pumunta ng school. Enrollment again. Second semester na. Next year, graduating na kami. Ang bilis lang.
Sumakay na ako sa sasakyan ko since magkikita na lang kami ni Kim dun sa St. Claire's para parehas ulit kami ng schedule. Si DK? Bahala siya. I don't care as of now. Honestly. Hindi pa din ako maka move on sa nalaman ko na mas pinili niyang maging kabit kaysa kay Andy. Pathetic choice. But then again, who am i to judge eh ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang pinagdaanan nila ni Cyriel. And i have no intentions of knowing. I support Andy at kuntento na ako na yun ang alam ko.
Papunta na sana ako ng St. Claire's ng parang makita ko si DK sa loob ng taxi tapos lumiko papasok sa subdivision nila Andy. Seriously? Nasan siya kagabi?? Halos hindi na maipinta yung mukha ni Andy tapos may angst pa siyang pumunta sa bahay nila. Psh.
Instead of going straight to St. Claire's, i followed here. District 5. Nice choice, DK. Looks like we're going to have a drunken talk.
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Dana's Point of View
"Where were you?" napatingin ako sa gilid ko only to see Nof sitting on the stool beside me.
"Condo," i replied shortly. I don't want to argue with her right now. I have too much on my plate. Ynna, Cyriel, then Andy. I cannot handle another issue with her. It's just too much.
She sipped the martini she ordered, "hmm, i see. Do you know the date yesterday?"
"October 29," i answered.
"Then?"
Good Lord, please help me help myself. She's my friend even if she's bitching with me right now. I don't want to lose her. I cannot afford to lose someone again.
I didn't answer, "grabe, DK. You've been friends for how long? 2 years? Tapos hindi mo man lang alam na birthday niya kagabi. A simple happy birthday would do," she said.
I still didn't respond.
"Sabagay, you must thought that a happy birthday wouldn't do so you opted for a better idea, breaking up with him on his birthday. Epic," she said.
I cannot contain myself anymore. She's been mocking me!!
I looked at her and slapped her, "Nof Salvador, listen to me! You are not me. You have no fcking idea how fcked up my life is. Ano ba talagang gusto mo? Sabi mo makipagbreak na ako kay Andy, and i did! Then ngayon pupunta ka dito and tell me na ang sama sama kong tao? Give me a break, please! Tao lang din ako. Hindi ba pwedeng dahilan yun??"
She looked at me as well then smiled, "i don't deserve that slap," she said then she slapped me, "we're quits."
Buti na lang wala pang masyadong tao sa bar kaya hindi kami nakakaagaw ng eksena.
"I told you to break up with him.. but not on his birthday. October 28 or 30. I don't fcking care. Bakit 29?? You've been toying around since when? Since September? Halos isang buwan yun, Dana Kathryn Ferrer! Sa loob ng 30 days na yun, talagang Octiber 29 pa yung napili mo? Come on, that's bullsht! I knew you're a bitch but hell.."
I tried to hold back my tears, i don't know why i'm crying, "bakit ka ba nagagalit sa'kin? Kasalanan ko ba? Sorry na! Hindi na ba pwedeng magsorry? Look, Nof, tao lang din ako. Nagkakamali. My life is so messed up. Sorry kung nakipagbreak ako sa birthday niya, sorry kung hindi ko naalala na birthday niya. Sorry!!"
She didn't answer. Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin while i was crying.
"What? Hindi mo ko sisigawan? Come on, shout at me! Masama ako, di ba? Lagi ko lang sinasaktan si Andy, di ba? Selfish ako, di ba? Fck! Oo na! Ako na lahat yun!"
I got my things and stood up.
"Sorry," she whispered.
I looked back at her, "you thought i'm a bitch? Well then, news flash: I'm a bitch. Sorry for that."
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Nof's Point of View
"bakit ka ba nagagalit sa'kin? Kasalanan ko ba? Sorry na! Hindi na ba pwedeng magsorry? Look, Nof, tao lang din ako. Nagkakamali. My life is so messed up. Sorry kung nakipagbreak ako sa birthday niya, sorry kung hindi ko naalala na birthday niya. Sorry!!"
I was left alone. Sht, Nof! You just ruined everything! My stupid impulses!
I honestly don't know what to say to DK. I was just dumbfounded. I thought she didn't care that's why i kind of hated her.. But heck!
I followed DK outside and saw her hail a cab. She's still crying.
'Stupid mouth!!!'
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Cyriel's Point of View
"Ginagawa mo?"
Nandito ako sa office ni Clarence sa bahay. Yeah, may office siya sa bahay. Workaholic di lang halata.
"Business stuffs, wag ka ngang magulo," he said then pinagpatuloy lang niya yung pagbabasa.
I sat on the chair adjacent to him. Kinuha ko yung ilang files tapos sinubukan kong basahin. In less than 2 years, tutulungan ko na din si Clarence magmanage ng business namin. Good thing na siya ang tagapagmana talaga. I don't want to follow their footsteps. I want to become an engineer, and Dana's husband. I have no intentions of being the next CEO. But i still need to work there. Good thing ako ang magiging head ng paggawa ng infrastructures and some matters. I need to work for our future. Though my trust fund would be enough, mas maganda pa din na ensured ang future ni Dana with me.
After scanning through some files, i saw something.
"Ano 'to?" I scowled at him.
"Ha?"
I crumpled the paper on my hands. Kumuha pa siya ng private investigator para kay Ynna at sa campaign ng tatay nito, "i thought we're clear on this, Clarence?!"
"Whoa, chill lang, Cyriel," sabi niya sa'kin.
"Sabi ko na nga na wag mong pakielamanan si Ynna. Just please don't. Annulment lang ang hinihingi ko, Clarence. Don't intrude with other things," i said. No, i pleaded. I know my brother. Gagawin niya pag gusto niya that is why ayokong humingi ng tulong sa kanya nung una. He'll destroy Ynna. That is just his nature, lahat ng kumakalaban sa kanya, natatalo.
He sighed, "you're too good for your sake, lil bro."
"Alam ko," i replied.
"Ayaw mong ipasabi na may sakit siya, di ba?"
I nodded.
"Kalimutan mo na din yung annulment," sabi niya sabay tayo at labas ng office.
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Clarence's Point of View
Psh.
Lintek na payatot na yan. Tama nga siya sa sinabi niya kay Cyriel. Nyeta!
Lumabas muna ako at baka magkasubukan pa kami ni Cyriel. Mahirap na.
Nagsigarilyo muna ako. Occasional smoker lang naman.
Tignan lang natin, Henares. Game on.
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Andy's Point of View
Jetlagged. Ang sakit sa ulo. Natulog muna ako pagdating na pagdating ko sa Miami. Actually, sa California talaga dapat ang punta ko dahil andun sila kuya at mom pero nagpa change flight ako at dito pumunta since may rest house naman kami dito.
Ang ganda ng view. Iba din ang time zone. Kakapanibago. Pero it's just what i needed. A new start.
Binuksan ko yung laptop ko para sana magreview. Kailangan kong magtop sa board exam! I need to redeem myself!
Napatigil ako sa nakita ko. Picture nga pala namin ni Dana yung desktop background ko.
I smiled to myself, "chicks talaga si Amanda Seyfried."
Oo, pinalitan ko na yung background. First step to moving on? Acceptance.