Justin
The party, much to the movie and novel clichés I am used to, is fairly tame. When Sophia first mentioned the party, I was under the impression it was going to be extravagant. Turns out, only the core group shows up. That includes Addie, Sophia, and their friends. Zander also invited some of his teammates along with their girlfriends. Also, not a lot of them drink alcohol. It's like a small get together. It doesn't even feel like the most overrated holiday.
Addie and I have been sitting by the bonfire since it started. It's surprisingly mild for February; there's no snow, it's cloudy, and there's no chilling wind. Honestly, though, how could it be cold with Addie snuggled up next to me? My arm is around her torso, her head is resting on my shoulder, and we're both feeling content.
After taking a sip of her orange pop, Addie looks up at me and asks, "So? How are you liking your first party?"
I blush a bit. It was a little embarrassing when I told Addie I'd never been to one of these things but she didn't make fun of me. "Honestly?" I ask, glancing at the people surrounding the bonfire. "Not what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be more like those cliché parties where everyone gets shitfaced and the music is vibrating off the walls."
Addie laughs and sets her drink down by her feet. "We never have parties like that. I mean, we did once, but we got busted by someone's mom – she came home in the midst and basically kicked everyone out. Moms can be scary when they're mad."
"Indeed they can," I muse.
Out of nowhere, Sophia comes bounding over and sits down on my left. She throws an arm around me. "How's it going?"
I'm caught off guard. Sophia and I – we like each other, but we don't ever really hug each other. It's when I look at Addie that I realize what's going on. With the combination of Addie's drinking motion and the potent scent of alcohol on Sophia's breath, I realize she's been drinking. I'm not judging her or anything. It's like my mom having a glass of wine with dinner: no big deal.
And if I'm being totally honest, Sophia is kind of funny when she's tipsy because she's extra cuddly and talkative, but also mellow.
"Uh, great," I reply, holding back a laugh.
"How are you doing, Sophs?" Addie asks.
Sophia makes a funny face. "Ugh, I'm so great. I love parties. I love bonfires. I love margaritas." She pauses and pulls Addie and I in for a hug, spilling a bit of her drink on my jeans. "I love you guys."
With her cheek smushed against my shoulder, Addie laughs. "We love you, too, Sophs."
Pulling away, Sophia focuses her attention on me. "Justin," she says. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this." She throws an arm around my shoulders before Addie can get her cheek off my shoulder, catching a few strands of Addie's hair. Next to me, Addie snorts. "But you know what?" Sophia continues, slurring her words together the slightest bit. "I think you're gonna be just fine, you strong boy, you."
Beside me, Addie is killing herself laughing without making any noise – her shoulders are shaking and she's got a hand clamped down over her mouth. Me? I'm trying to not laugh so I don't come across as rude. Sophia, even though she's consumed too much alcohol, is trying to be nice and have a heartfelt moment.
"Uh, thanks, Sophia," I say.
Reaching up, she pinches my cheek. "Seriously, you are so amazing – just like Addie says on a daily basis. It's adorable. She really, like reallyloves you. And it's great that she's going to Vancouver with you. She's a lot like her mom and my mom, that girl. See, my grandpa, whom I've never met, was a total abuser to my dad when he was a teenager. Dad tried to keep it from Mom, but she eventually found out. Didn't scare my mom off, though. Nope. It brought them closer together. Just like Aunty Mira and Uncle Brett's situation. So, yeah, Addie is a lot like them." Sophia takes another sip of her drink. "Wish I could be more like them. And you."
I blink. Why would Sophia be bringing this up? Addie only told her the medical portion of my life. Or did she?
I look to my left.
Addie, who has managed to extract herself from this bizarre situation, gets up and walks over to where Zander is standing with some of his buddies. I watch as she leans up onto her tiptoes and whispers something in his ear, jerking her thumb at me and Sophia. Zander, who was smiling and having a good time, instantly sobers up and nods his head. He sets his drink down and walks back over to where Sophia and I are, Addie not far behind.
"Hey, Sophs," Zander says, reaching out to take the plastic cup from Sophia. "I think you've had enough to drink tonight."
Sophia, though she doesn't look like she wants to give up whatever she's been drinking, sighs and holds her cup out to her boyfriend. "You're probably right." The words slur together a little.
Zander takes the cup and tips it over, spilling the contents all over the packed dirt. "Why don't we head inside? A nap can do you good."
Sophia untangles herself from me, and I certainly hope that Zander doesn't think I was flirting with Sophia or anything like that.
"Okay," she pouts, getting to her feet. I also stand up. "Let's go."
Sophia walks away without another word.
"I'm sorry," I say to Zander.
He frowns. "Sorry for what?"
I shrug. I really don't know why I'm apologizing – I didn't do anything wrong. But, then again, he doesn't know that. "I wasn't trying to, uh, get close to Sophia or anything."
Zander laughs and claps me on the shoulder. "Man, I know. Sophs becomes extremely social when she drinks. Trust me."
"Okay," I say.
Zander looks like he's ready to leave, but before he does, he pulls me into a quick embrace – the usual pat-on-the-back hug – and says, "Good luck, man. We're all rooting for you." After that, he turns to face Addie. "I'll give her parents a call so they can come pick her up, okay? Sophs is my responsibility tonight."
"Thanks," Addie murmurs.
When the two of us are finally alone next to the bonfire, I ask the two questions I've been dying to ask for the past five minutes. "Did you tell Sophia everything? And how does Zander know about my upcoming surgery?" He didn't clarify, but I'm not stupid – I can put the pieces together.
Addie sighs and looks over her shoulder at the group of people. "Can we go inside?"
I'm not mad yet I'm not impressed. I'm neutral right now. I've noticed that, with Addie, everything she does has a reason behind it. So I agree to go inside with her with a simple nod of the head.
Addie takes my hand and leads me inside. We go through the back doors, up the stairs to a spare bedroom, and only after she shuts and locks the door, do we sit down on the bed. The lighting is dim from the lamp in the corner and the air smells like a vanilla chai candle.
Once she's perched on the foot of the bed, Addie sighs. "To answer your second question, Zander knows because Sophia told him – those two never keep secret from each other. But I can promise you that he won't say a word to anyone. Out of everyone at this party, only you, me, Sophia, Nadira, Jacey, and Zander know the details. Also, he sort of understands what you're going through."
"Really?" I ask, frowning.
Addie nods. "Yeah, his cousin was born with epilepsy, but he eventually outgrew it. So he knows the precautions and all that. I didn't even know until the other day when he told me."
Huh. I never would have guessed. And, to my surprise, it's kind of nice, knowing that Zander knows and he doesn't treat me any differently. "Okay," I shrug. "Fair enough. But why did Sophia bring that stuff up about her dad?"
"That," Addie sighs, "is my fault. I know you hate talking about your dad, so there was this one day, about a week ago, where I was over at Sophia's house. I have the tendency to overthink things and I was thinking about you and your dad, so I asked Aunty Elle how she dealt with Uncle Hart having an abusive dad. I felt like I could get some advice from her. So we talked for a bit about different ways to handle these types of situations. And at one point, Sophia walked in on us, catching some of the information." Addie pauses and glances at me, guilt present in her blue eyes. "She started asking me questions and I knew I wasn't going to get out there without answering. But again, I can promise you that she won't tell anyone. I made her swear." She pauses again, looking down at her hands. She's started picking at her nail polish again. I suppress a smile at the sight of her bad habit. "I know what your dad did was worse than what Uncle Hart's dad did, but maybe it's good that Sophia knows. Her parents are a lot like my parents, meaning they tell their kids everything. Soph is actually really knowledgeable about this kind of stuff compared to me. So, y'know, if you ever need anyone to talk to, Sophia's got your back. She wanted to say something to you sooner, but she's not very good at starting deep conversations."
"Unless she has liquid confidence," I joke, letting the smile take over.
Addie laughs. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
In the beginning, I would have been angry with Addie for spilling this. But it's like I said – everything Addie does has a reason behind it. How could I be mad at her for exposing me to more people that understand at least the basics of what's happened to me?
"Well," I breathe, running a hand through my hair. "That's awesome."
Addie doesn't hide her look of shock. "R-really? I thought you'd be mad at me."
I shake my head. "Maybe before. But I understand. Thank you."
She smiles and rests her head against my shoulder. "It's nothing."
"No," I reply, turning to face her. She sits up straight. "It's everything. I honestly do not know what I would do without you by my side, Addie. You're like the sun that's finally managed to break through the clouds that have been ever-present."
Her cheeks turn pink. "I don't know – "
"Seriously, Addie," I say softly, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze. "You have no idea. Everything you've done and everything you're about to do – it means the world to me."
"Justin..." she whispers softly, her eyes filled with longing.
"Addie," I challenge.
It's no surprise when Addie leans forward and presses her lips against mine. It's no surprise when we both fall to our side, bodies pressed against the mattress and hands roaming, tracing the skin beneath our shirt.
And as all this transpires, my heart begins to beat rapidly, my palms begin to sweat, my body begins to react in ways I've never known, my head begins to spin.
But none of that surprises me either.
Because I love this girl and everything about her – her smile, her bad habits, her nervous chatter. Everything.
I don't know if our paths were ever destined to cross like this, but I'm glad they did. I don't know where I'd be without her in my life.