1902
EMBER
"John!" I squeal, mud and grime from Birmingham's streets clinging to my shoes and stockings as I chase after my best friend. "John Shelby, slow down!" I find myself growing frustrated as my legs fail to catch up to him, finally resorting to screaming. "JOHN!"
The shrillness of my cry stops him in his tracks and he comes to a halt quickly, momentarily worried I'm in trouble.
He frowns when he sees the cheeky little smirk on my face. "Ember Jean, go home. You know Aunt Pol doesn't like when you tag along while I'm workin'."
His brothers, now at the ages of twelve and fifteen, have begun to spend their time with the Peaky Blinders in hopes of soon joining the gang. Being only seven years old, John is stuck selling newspapers as a legitimate way to earn money for the family.
"Polly went to church. She doesn't know I followed you." I grin, a piece of my long brown hair fluttering into my face from the light morning breeze.
John shakes his head but can't stop the crooked smile from spreading onto his features. "Fine." He sighs, pushing the lock of hair back into place behind my ear. "But if I tell you to hide, do as you're told for once, eh?"
"Do this Ember. Do that Ember. That's all you do is boss me around all day." I pout.
John rolls his eyes. "You hear the stories Arthur and Tommy tell about the streets of Small Heath. Just let me take care of you."
"We're six and seven. What could possibly happen to us?" I shrug, reaching for John's hand that isn't cradling a stack of newspapers to his side.
He puffs his chest out with pride. "Nothing. Not while I'm around."
1909
JOHN
"Ember Jean!" I shout, seeing her up on the bridge over the cut. She's walking along the edge like she's on a tightrope, a bottle of whiskey in her hand, and a boy with her.
I can't remember his name but recognize him from school. Ember startles from the sudden noise and begins to lose her balance. The boy grabs her waist in an attempt to steady her.
All I see is red. "Get your fucking hands off her!" I shout, quickly crossing the distance to the maintenance ladder and climbing it in record time to join them up on the bridge.
"John." She says, sobering up immediately when she sees how livid I am. Ember places her small hand on my forearm and I relax.
It lasts for only a moment as the boy from school speaks. "I've got Ember plenty looked after. She doesn't need you following her around everywhere like some toy soldier."
My hand immediately clenches, making a tight fist. Ember feels the muscles in my arm tense and let's me go, moving away to create a safe distance from herself and the fight she knows is about to break out. She acts on instinct, reading my mind, knowing me better than I know myself at times.
My fist connects with the boy's face and a sickening crack resonates with the first punch. I land several more blows before Ember's voice calls me back to reality.
"John." She says. It's only a whisper but it's enough to stop me.
I grab the boy by his collar, lifting him up so we're nose to nose. Some of his blood smears onto my face but I'm unfazed as I sneer at him. "Don't you even come near Ember again. You hear me?"
He nods quickly in agreement and I give him one last shove as he takes off running across the bridge back into town.
"You didn't have to do that. I was fine." Ember is quiet, unsure if I'm angry with her.
I say nothing at first, grabbing the whiskey bottle from her hand. Knocking the bottle back, I take several large gulps before I look her in the eyes. "What were you doing with him?"
"James asked if I wanted to come out here with him, he's always been kind to me at school, and the whiskey was my idea. So you can't blame that on him." She explains.
I scoff and shake my head gently. "Ember, of course he's kind to you. He wants to fuck you."
"You don't know that." She crosses her arms, stubborn as always.
"You're beautiful, Ember, I mean look at ya. Any guy would die for a chance at you." I realize I'm still angry but not with her.
Ember sits down on the cobbles, her feet dangling over the edge of the bridge and pats the space beside her. "Are you jealous?"
"Christ, Ember. I don't know." I sigh, sitting beside her. She leans over, wiping the boy's blood from my face before resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm just trying to keep you safe is all." I dig the flat cap with razor blades sewn into the peak out of my pocket and hand it to her. "I'm not gonna be around as much." I explain.
She carefully touches the blades, understanding I'll be busy now that I'm a Peaky Blinder. "Are you trying to keep me safe because you won't be around much or because you don't want to see me with other guys?"
"For fuck's sake." I groan, not liking when she makes me talk about things like this. "Both." I finally admit.
"You like me." Ember grins giving back the cap and grabbing my hand. "If I'm being honest, I was hoping you'd be jealous."
I drop her hand, turning quickly to face her, my hands playfully pinching the skin above her hips. "You little brat. You did that shit on purpose."
Ember squeals, begging me to stop tickling her. "Alright, alright! You caught me. I just wanted you to admit you have feelings for me."
"Why does it matter?" I ask.
"Because I have them for you." She says softly, suddenly unsure.
I stare down at her pink lips, the bottom one slightly fuller than the top and place my right hand against her cheek before leaning in and kissing her gently. It takes only a moment for her to react, kissing me back, and the sweet kiss turns into an intense one.
When we finally pull away, Ember giggles, biting down on her bottom lip.
"You're drunk." I smirk.
Her eyes widen. "Don't tell Aunt Pol." She begs.
"Don't tell her what? That you're drunk or we kissed?" I smile.
"Both. I'm only thirteen. She'll fucking kill me." Ember swears. I'm full on laughing now. "John!" She whines. "Don't laugh at me!"
"I can't help it. You're afraid of Polly and it's cute."
"You're scared of her too." Ember argues.
I snort. "Aye, I've got sense. Of course I'm bloody terrified of the woman."
Everything about this is uncharted territory for me but at the same time, feels incredibly right. From the day she came to our family everyone was instantly bewitched by the little gypsy beauty and welcomed her with open arms. But there's no denying the bond she and I share has always been very different than the one she has with Arthur or Tommy.
1911
EMBER
I walk down Watery Lane with a three year old Finn on my hip. I've become the closest thing he has to a mother since his own passed in childbirth. Polly looked after him initially but I took over after her children, Michael and Anna were taken by the police. As much as she tries to hide it from us, I can see it's broken her.
I'm almost to the end of the street when two young men approach me. "What's your name, love?"
"What's it to you?" I ask, holding Finn tighter.
"We don't want nothing of ya but your name." The older of the two says.
They're Gypsies, roughly the ages of Arthur and Tommy and I know instantly why they're here. Every year around my birthday two members of the Lee clan are sent to Birmingham with a message from a varying family member. Whether it's to frighten me into returning, I'm still unsure.
"We both know you already know my name and while I may have Lee blood running through my veins, I have the heart of a Shelby. You have no business here." I tell them confidently.
The man who's remained silent finally speaks. "You're no Shelby. Zilpha sent us with a prophecy. She wants to warn you that things are changing and you need to take care to protect yourself from your past."
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as my body subconsciously senses a threat. I may have fled from my Gypsy family long ago but I still remember the matriarch of our clan, my mother's mother. "What does she mean?"
"That's all she foretold. She cares for all of her kin, Ember Jean; past, present, and future. Remember who you are and where you come from." The first man speaks again.
"You've delivered your message, now leave me be."
Both gypsy men nod and leave without another word. I turn on my heel, abandoning my route to return home and head in the opposite direction towards the Garrison, towards John.
I enter the pub and ignore the looks from other patrons, my sights set on Harry behind the bar. "Where is he?" I ask the barkeep. He knows who I mean and nods in the direction of the snug.
I enter the private room without knocking and am lucky to find only the Shelby brothers occupy it. "Ember." Arthur yells harshly. "You can't come fucking bursting in here whenever you miss John. You could have walked in on something not meant for your ears and fucked all of us over." He shakes his head, taking a drink of his whiskey. "Stubborn gypsy girl. You're fucking lucky we care for you."
Tommy notices the look on my face and the protective way I'm holding onto Finn. "What happened Ember?"
His serious tone sobers both of his brothers. Arthur instantly alert and John at my side. "Are you hurt?" John asks, he passes Finn to Tommy before his hands fuss over every inch of my body, looking for injury. Once he's satisfied I'm unharmed he pulls me tightly against him.
"What's got you startled, Ember girl?" Arthur asks gently, his face guilty for scolding me just moments before.
"They came round again." My voice wavers as I do my best to keep it steady. "This time with a message from my grandmother. It was a warning."
"If they even so much as threatened you, I'll burn their entire camp to the ground right now." John seethes. "They won't touch one hair on your fucking head. You're mine."
Arthur and Tommy share a knowing look that both of us miss. I'm too shaken up to notice and John is blinded by his rage.
"John." Tommy's voice is even and calming. "There's no need to start a war with the Lees. They've been coming round every year on the nose since Ember came to us and nothing has come of it before, I'm sure this is no different. You'll keep a closer eye on her for a few months until it all dies down, as it always dies down."
"This is not the time for your rash anger, brother. Do not lash out against them. Do you understand?" Arthur orders.
John is frustrated by his brother's level headedness. "I'll take Ember and Finn home." Is his reply. Ignoring Arthur's order to stand down.
Tommy sets the three year old down on the ground and gently places his hand beneath my chin. "Don't let this get you down. You're one of us." He reassures and I nod.
I take Finn's small hand in my own as John wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me from the snug.
We walk in silence back to the house and John tells Finn to go play in his room when we're all inside. Once the two of us are alone he turns towards me, taking my face in his hands. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, not ever. You hear me?"
"I don't know what I'd do if I had to go back there. My father, he'd-"
"Shhhh." He soothes, bringing me into his chest. "He can't hurt you anymore. You're safe with us."
"I love you John. I think I've loved you since I came here all those years ago."
A slow smile makes its way across his face as he realizes I've finally told him I'm in love with him.
"I remember the day Polly brought you home like it was yesterday. You were this tiny thing, smudged with dirt, your long brown hair knotted into a braid, the scared look on your face, the bruises across your body. I was only six but from the moment I laid eyes on you I promised myself I'd never let you look that way again. I've loved you before I even realized what love was."
"Make me yours." I say, shyly looking up at him from under my lashes.
"Right here?" John asks. "And what if Aunt Pol comes through the door, what then, eh? What about your virtue?"
"I don't care. I'm meant for you and only you." I kiss him with an intensity I've never known before and he doesn't object.
Slowly, he lays us down on the couch we're sitting on so that I'm on my back and he's hovering above me. We haven't broken the passionate kiss since it began and I feel his hands begin to bunch the material of my skirt up around my hips.
As he bites down on my bottom lip I moan, it's a sound he's never heard from me and it encourages him to continue.
He pauses for a moment, looking into my eyes. The bright blue eyes, freckles and full pink lips that I love have matured over the years but he still has that same boyish charm from when we were children. It's like time has stood still.
"You're sure this is ok?" He asks seriously.
"I need this." I say as I reach up to touch his cheek and kiss him lightly. "I need you." I add in a whisper. "You're the only thing that makes sense."
That's all he needs to hear and we're kissing again, my hands in his hair. He releases my lips, and clumsily unbuckles his trousers, pulling them down to the middle of his thighs.
The skirt of my dress is already around my waist and he fumbles with my underwear, pushing them to the side. "Tell me if I hurt you, alright?"
I nod, staring into his blue eyes, letting him know I trust him without having to say it. "I love you."
"God, I love you too." His body crashes against mine and we kiss again. As our tongues dance, he pushes inside of me. I gasp at the feeling.
He's slow and gentle, both of us unsure of what we're doing. I stare up at him as he continues his thrusts. As time goes on the pain is gradually replaced with pleasure.
Before long I find my release and call out John's name amongst ragged moans, my nails clawing through the shirt still on his back.
He's not far behind and soon empties himself inside me before collapsing on top of me. The air pushes from my lungs as he crushes me.
"Sorry." He apologizes, lifting himself onto his forearms and rolling over, pulling his pants back up.
"It's ok." I giggle and cuddle into his side.
"Was that alright?" He wraps his arm around my shoulder as I pull my skirt back down and lay my head on his chest.
I lift my head to place a kiss to his cheek. "It was perfect, John."
We hear a key turn in the lock and instantly shoot up from the couch. "Fuck!" John curses, trying to smooth his hair while I straighten my dress.
Aunt Polly walks through the door with Ada and smiles at me before catching sight of John. "What are you doing home at this time of day? It's early."
His face flushes and he shifts, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.
"He brought me home, Aunt Pol." I step in. "Finn and I had a visit from the Lees this morning."
"Oh, Christ, not again." She sighs, her concern outweighing her suspicions. "I've got Ember now, John, go find your brothers."
"Stay inside. Stay safe." He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the house, happy to avoid any further questions from his aunt.
5 AUGUST 1914
JOHN
'ENGLAND AND GERMANY AT WAR. German reply to ultimatum not satisfactory. England in state of war.'
The headlines are splayed across the morning edition of the Birmingham Gazette as I grab one from the young newsboy on my way to the Garrison.
Ember is the first thing to cross my mind as it hits me that I'll have to leave her. Forgetting all thoughts of the pub and Peaky Blinders, I run home.
"Ember Jean!" I shout up the stairs.
"For Christ's sake, John. You'll wake the whole damn house." Polly groans from the table, a cup of tea to her lips. "What's the matter?"
I throw the paper down in front of her. "Where's Ember?"
Polly reads the headlines, immediately forming the sign of the cross and digging her rosary from her pocket. "She and Ada are still asleep." My aunt says nothing more and begins to pray.
I take the steps two at a time, not bothering to knock when I reach the room Ember shares with my sister. I kneel beside Ember's bed, taking a moment to watch her sleep. She's peaceful, her long brown hair across her pillow and her full pink lips parted just slightly.
"Ember, love." I whisper, pushing her hair back from her face gently. She groans in response. "Wake up, darling."
Her eyes flutter open and she smiles sleepily when she sees it's me. She frowns once she sees the serious look on my face. "What's happened?"
"We're at war, love." I confirm the rumors that have been swirling for weeks now.
"No." Ember shakes her head, not wanting to believe me. She sits up from her bed, grabbing the lapels of my coat. "You can't leave now. I'm about to turn eighteen. We can finally get married." She begins to panic.
Tears spill onto her cheeks and I glance over at Ada to make sure she's still asleep. "Ember girl, shhh. Shhhh. Look at me." I take her into my arms. "I want you to meet me at the inn in an hour. Can you do that?"
Ember nods, her solemn face looking up at me. Using my thumbs, I wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I love you." I whisper, kissing her lips.
"I knew it!" Ada shouts, pointing a finger at the two of us.
"Fucking hell, Ada. This is not the time." I growl, turning to glare at her.
My sister catches Ember's tearstained face and loses her smug expression. "Who died?"
"We're at war with Germany." Ember sniffs.
Ada's hand covers her mouth. "Oh, God."
"It's only a matter of time now before we men have to leave and join the fight." I explain. "I want to spend some time alone with Ember before that happens. Can you please, for once in your life, not be a thorn in my side and help us?"
Ada nods. "I won't say a word to Aunt Polly, I'll sneak Ember out and cover for her, I promise, John."
An hour later there's a timid knock on the door of the room I've rented at the inn. "John? It's Ember."
I open the door and the sight of her takes my breath away. She's wearing a simple white and light blue striped dress, her hair has been French braided on both sides of her head but stops at the nape of her neck and the soft curls that flow down her back are tied back in a red ribbon.
"We're all supposed to be home by six. Pol wants to have a family dinner tonight." She explains and I pull her into the room, locking the door behind her.
"Fuck her." I say, crashing my lips onto Ember's.
"No, John." She giggles. "Ada and I said we would be at the hospital taking a first aid class so I only have a few hours."
"That's all I need." I grin at her. Nothing more needs to be said as I pick her up, swinging her over my shoulder and carrying her to the bed.
We undress clumsily in a fit of laughter. "I can't believe I have to leave you." I say.
"Love me." Ember whispers as I push her back onto the mattress and our bodies become one for the first time in weeks.
When we're finished we lay together in comfortable silence, still tangled in the sheets, and enjoying the warmth from the sun streaming in through the window.
"I think we should talk about some things John." Ember says.
"Yeah." I agree, stroking her shoulder softly. "We should talk about Ada and her big mouth. Everyone's bound to know about us now."
"Don't be rude! She's my best friend." She defends my sister.
I scoff. My hand finding its way to my heart in mock outrage. "And here I was thinking I was your best friend for all these years."
Ember smirks. "Shows how much you know."
"Take that back!" I tease, playfully pinching her sides.
"Hey!" She squeals, wiggling in an attempt to get away from me. I continue to tickle her mercilessly and in self defense Ember smacks me below the waist.
"Ow!" I laugh, lifting my legs up in reflex in an attempt to avoid her hand connecting with my manhood. "Well that's it then, we'll never be able to have children." The two of us are cracking up, just relieved to be alone with one another.
I fumble with the ring I wear on my pinky, spinning it back and forth before slipping it off my finger and holding it out to Ember. "I want you to have this."
"John, you never take that off. It was your mother's." It takes a moment before realization hits her. "Wait, are you-?" She cuts off, looking to me for answers.
"Yeah." I nod. "We should get married."
Ember looks unsure. "Really? You want that?"
"I want to do it right and I don't want you to be a widow. So if I make it home from this fucking war then we're getting married. I love you, Ember. I've loved you since we were kids. You've stayed through it all. Despite all the violence and danger, you've patched me up when I come home bleeding." I explain. "You're the only thing that's ever made sense in my life."
I slip the ring on her finger and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. "I love you, too, so much, John. And I want to be your wife."
"But?" I ask, sensing her hesitation.
"But, Polly." Is her answer.
I can't stop the barking laugh that erupts from my chest. "I will take care of Polly Gray."
"What am I going to do without you?" Ember sighs, laying her head back down on my chest.
I stroke her hair gently. "Don't think about that right now."
Ember slowly drifts off to sleep and I pull the sheet up over our still naked bodies. I take this time to memorize everything about her. The small sounds she makes, the soft rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, the way her long lashes brush against her cheeks.
I'm not overly religious, only attending church when Polly makes me, and I never pray. But I find myself asking God to watch over Ember while I'm away, to bring me back to her, and if I don't make it home that my brothers protect her for me.
Hours later, after falling asleep myself, I'm waking Ember. "We're late for dinner love. We need to get home."
She looks at the clock on the wall that reads half past six. "Time to face the music." She sighs nervously.
"Aye. And we'll do it together, Mrs. Shelby." I reassure her.
Ember flashes me a smile, glancing down at the ring on her finger as she starts to put her dress back on and fix her hair.
As we walk through the door of our home together, hand in hand, the family is waiting for us.
Ada smiles but says nothing, having discovered the truth this morning. Arthur and Tommy share a grin, my oldest brother clapping the next oldest on the back in happiness for Ember and I.
Polly stands at the head of the table, arms crossed. "You're late." She says, her tone revealing nothing. Ember glances up at me, gripping my hand tighter.
"It's my fault, Aunt Pol." I take the blame.
"I think the fault lies with both of you." She says. "And it's quite time your deceit ends now. Lying in this family gets you nowhere."
"I love him, Polly." Ember grows bold.
"How long?"
Ember shakes her head. "Since I can remember."
"That's what I thought." Polly gives the slightest of smiles.
"Wait, so you bloody knew all this time?" I ask.
"It's my job to know everything that goes on in this family." Polly's smirk grows. "Why do you think I go to church everyday? To pray Ember wouldn't wind up pregnant before you all were wed."
Tommy laughs loudly as Arthur speaks. "I think everyone but Finn knew, John boy."
"Knew what?" Finn asks obliviously and the family laughs as Ada interjects. "I've known for years but when I caught you two snogging this morning, it just confirmed it."
Ember blushes and I pull her into my side. "Well then if the cats out of the bag, I have an announcement to make. When this bloody war is over and if I'm lucky enough to come home alive, I'm marrying this little gypsy girl. Asked her today and she said yes." I grin, lifting Embers ringed finger into the air.
Ada squeals in delight, rushing forward to hug us both.
"Sounds like the most sane words to ever leave your mouth, brother." Tommy lifts his glass in the air, before taking a sip.
"Now let's eat before the food gets colder than it already is." Polly instructs and we sit down to enjoy the last meal we'll have together as a family.