Domain City Studios - Present Day as mortals tell time.
'Good morning everyone, and welcome to another edition of ROSIE!'
Audience: 'Good morning Rosie!!!!'
Theme tune plays.
Rosie smiles and adopts her trademark pose of rolling up her sleeve and flexing her bicep.
The audience shouts 'WE CAN DO IT!'
Rosie grins at the camera, waves to the audience again and crosses to the couch, taking off her white dotted red head scarf.
'I hope everyone's wide awake and ready for a great show; we've got cooking tips from Ratautoille and The Swedish Chef, more great music from our house band The Commitments and a special guest solo by none other than The Blue Fairy ... and that's after we get to our very special guests. Talking of, give a big ROSIE welcome to some good friends of mine ... the adorable teddy bears of Picnic fame! Well seven of them ... come on out guys.'
Seven teddy bears emerge from the exit to backstage - they are of slightly differing heights ranging from two feet to four feet tall, each dressed uniquely and with different colour fur.
'Good morning teddies. Welcome to ROSIE!'
Rufus Goldbloom, a beige bear speaks. 'Thank you Rosie, it's a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having us on.'
'It's wonderful that you were able to make it Rufus. Now I notice that everyone else apart from you and the big fella are wearing clothing. Can I ask why some of you teddies do so and some don't.'
'Sure Rosie. Well as you can see, we're pretty fluffy in our natural state. Hercules here is the fluffiest of all of us and to us, just being us is like having a natural fur coat. The weather in the Domain is usually mild to hot most of the year round so personally I don't like to bundle up and get overheated.'
Rosie turns to the four foot bear with the brown fur. 'You're Hercules and I guess I can see why they call you that. Are you the biggest of all the teddy bears?'
Hercules smiles and waves his paws at Rosie.
'Rufus?'
'Sorry Rosie, I should have said. Hercules is 90% deaf and while he can understand you via a combination of lip reading and what, to him, sounds like your voice at a distance, he never speaks. But he signs quite well.'
'Ah ok, so can you tell me what Hercules is saying?'
'I certainly can. He's saying first of all that he's a big fan of the show and he's thrilled to meet you Rosie. In fact he says he's been a fan since you used to do The Riveting Hour. He also answers yes, he is the biggest of us ... not just in height but for his physique. That's why he chose the name Hercules.'
Rosie glances down at her question sheet. 'Well I was going to move onto that in a bit, but since you've brought it up, can you tell me a bit about how you reinvented yourselves?'
Rufus smiles. 'Sure, but I don't want to monopolize the conversation. Maybe the Father can pick up on that point.
Rosie looks down at her sheet and the camera's point at a teddy bear who is virtually identical to Rufus except for his priest's clothes and glasses. 'Father Ronan O Hoolihan, welcome to the show.'
'Aye and it's a grand pleasure ta be here Rosie. Now, your man Rufus here was about saying as how we all arrived as teddy bears from the picnic.'
'This was back in 1946?'
'Aye, right at the beginning, sure. Well ye know your own self that many a character had not a shred of identity beyond his or her descriptions, so each developed their persona.'
'Am I right in thinking Father, that you weren't always an Irish Catholic priest, then?'
Father O Hoolihan laughs. 'No more than young Rufus was a Jewish bear by the name of Goldbloom.'
Rufus leans forward. 'Many of us first became interested in different faiths and cultures and once we sub divided, we assumed new identities based on those interests. For myself and 11 others including my cousin Shlomo, ours were developed after we decided to study the Torah.'
'And do you ... that is to say, your set of Jewish bears get on with the non Jewish teddies?'
Father O Hoolihan cut in. 'Ah, sure and that makes not a bit of difference. All of us are one family and we call each of the others cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and the like, depending on age and experience.'
'If I may comment ...'
Rosie turns to a slightly larger brown bear in a loose fitting white tunic and white wide trousers; his feet are covered by sandals.
'And you are?'
'Kadir Al Kharma. I wish to say that as a Muslim, I too concur that we are all brothers and sisters. We are family and this is so despite our different beliefs. Take Rufus and myself ... every week we meet to play a game of chess and debate the meaning of this life and existence in these, our beloved lands of myth.'
'Thank you Kadir. Now several of you have mentioned the close family ties between all of the picnic teddy bears, despite differences in beliefs and culture. Can I ask how many of you there actually are? I'll direct this question at a lady bear. Can I ask your name my dear?'
The pink teddy bear with large dark eyelashes was about two feet tall; she was wearing a pink tutu with a darker pink lace top and glass shoes.
'I'm Princess Sparkles.'
'Not a real princess I'm guessing. How did you come by your name and your darling look?'
Sparkles blushed. 'Isn't every girl a princess? I used to dream of a little girl human to be my very best friend, to cuddle and love. Later on a very empowering lady told me that I could be a princess. She's here tonight ... my good friend The Blue Fairy.'
'So your look is influenced by fairy princesses?'
'Somewhat Rosie, but I do a lot more. I volunteer in a soup kitchen and travel around the domain with like minded friends, looking to put a bit of everyday magic in people's lives. Oh but you asked a question ... there are 202 of us.'
'Now now m'dear,' broke in a distinguished looking grey bear in a splendidly cut Victorian evening suit, his top hat and cane resting on his lap. 'You know that Phoenix would object to such a description.'
Sparkles blushed again. 'Oh I'm so sorry if I offended them Lord Theodore.'
Rosie turned to the last bear, who appeared to be a tomboyish looking female - her fur was snow white but the fur atop her head had been tufted up and dyed blue. Around her eyes had been made up to look black. The snow white bear wore a denim jacket and dark jeans atop clumpy DM's and had piercings under her nose and at the top of her right ear.
'So you must be Phoenix. I like your look ... and it says here that you prefer not to be referred to as a bear.'
Phoenix nodded. 'I am species fluid as well as gender neutral. My pronouns are Them and They but I prefer you use my name.'
'Which was chosen to be neutral?'
Lord Theodore guffawed. 'Hah ... They've had more identities than hot dinners! First it was Sally Perkins, then Sunflower and then your punk era name, simply marvelous. Luna Puke!'
'Jaysus Theo, will ye not gie it a rest man?'
But Father O Hoolihan's warning went unheeded.
'Then in the 90's she went through her goth metal phase. Lilith, daughter of the night!! Ha ha!'
Sparkles was in tears. 'Stop it your Lordship, stop it, you always do this! You're not clever, just a mean old bully!!'
Hercules had stood up and was signing in an agitated fashion.
'What's he saying Rufus?' inquired Rosie.
'He's ah saying he'll knock Theo's monocle right off his head!'
Kadir got up. 'I am sorry Miss Riviter, but if I had known this would happen, I would not have agreed to appear on your programme. Lord Theodore, this is why we have not spoken in many years. Allah grant you the peace to realize your hurtful behaviour.'
'Come off it old boy. Can't you coves take a joke?'
Rufus shook his head. 'I'm sorry Phoenix, and you Rosie.'
Phoenix smiled at him. 'It's not your fault Rufus. Everyone knows the old man's been nipping at his flask and it's not the first time he's made a show of himself!'
Rosie stood up and faced the camera. 'Well, what a dramatic turn of events. It seems that Sparkles is too upset to continue and Father O Hoolihan and Hercules are attending to her. We'll be back after the break, but I hope Rufus and Phoenix will stick around and answer our questions - Phoenix, I'm genuinely interested in hearing about your species fluidity and gender neutrality.'
The camera homed in on the three teddy bears still seated, fixing on Lord Theodore whose flask was now out in the open. 'Ah, didn't hear m'name included. Well, a chap knows when he's not wanted. I'll be orf then!'
The floor director signaled with a chop of her arm and the ad break credits began to run.
It was another interesting taping of ROSIE! And the audience loved it.