Hazel had left early that morning before Nick woke up and sneaked out of the bedroom. She left him a note with a few words on his bedside table that she hoped he would find and follow.
Right now, though, she needed space.
Last night, they hadn't had sex or fucked or done anything remotely crude or sexual. Not in the way Hazel saw it.
No; they had made love.
The imprint of his touch was still on her skin as Hazel drove home with tears in her eyes and an infinitely heavy weight on her chest. The worst had happened, the thing she had feared would when things had started to get too good between them.
She had fallen hopelessly in love with Nick and he was leaving tomorrow. Gone, probably forever, unless he returned next year. Which after today, he might not.
Hazel sniveled as she walked into her apartment and ditched her jacket and shoes. She didn't hesitate to go into the living room and grab her phone, dialing up the number she knew by heart and always called, ironically, when her heart was in trouble.
"He... hello?" A very groggy Camille replied in the other end as it was still very early morning, probably too early for Hazel to even be calling her. She knew her sister would be busy today cleaning the house and making everything ready for tomorrow, and waking her up just seemed cruel. But this couldn't wait.
"I love him," Hazel whisper-cried, not strong enough to say the words louder. "Camille, I... I love him so much, I-I don't know what to do."
Hazel heard some shuffling in the phone, the sound of bedsheets moving and her sister sitting up. After another moment, she thought she heard floorboards and then the scrape of a chair.
"Oh, Hazel," Camille's voice softened in the other end. "That took you long enough."
Hazel sighed and shook her head. She wanted to be mad at her for pushing her to do this, for advising her to stay with him and play it out. She should be furious for letting her heart get attached to a man who was leaving tomorrow and going along with this stupid pretense they had been doing all this time.
But the truth was... she wasn't. As much as she wanted to, she didn't regret a moment of what had happened over the past month. Meeting Nick and learning that someone like him truly existed in this world was a memory she wouldn't want to ever forget. Camille wasn't to blame for her broken heart; that was purely fate being fickle again.
"What should I do, Cam?" Hazel cried. "He leaves tomorrow and–and I don't want him to. I don't want to leave him, I... I want him to stay. But he can't. Cam, please, tell me what I should do."
"Hazel, if you truly love him, then there's only one question you have to ask yourself," Camille said. "You need to ask yourself; How much do you love him? And how much do you not want to lose him?"
Hazel thought about her sister's words for a moment before exhaling. "I love him more than I have words for."
"Then it's simple; You have to fight for that love. Don't let it escape."
Hazel closed her eyes and sobbed quietly into her hand. She wanted to fight, but she didn't know how. "How can I do that? He lives there and I live here. He can't uproot his business and I can't—"
"Yes, you can," Camille's voice firmed with love. "Hazel, I love you so much, but there's nothing left for you in this town. Jim and the kids all love you too, but we all want to see you happy. You're not happy living off of our happiness, Hazel. You deserve your own family, your own life. Nick could be it."
Hazel felt her heart pumping wildly in her chest. Leave Leavenworth. Leave her sister. Leave her home. Could she really do that? For Nick?
Her heart silently answered the question.
"Have you told him yet?" Camille asked, after a moment when Hazel didn't reply. A lump the size of an egg had lodged itself in her throat.
"No," She croaked. They hadn't said the words last night, but Hazel had a feeling he knew anyway.
"Then you have to tell him. Find out if he's on the same page, and if he is... go for it, Hazel. Just let go and allow yourself to be happy."
Hazel felt tears slide down her cheeks, but she could no longer determine if they were sad or happy. A part of her felt like exploding in Fourth of July fireworks, while another part was scared with fear of being rejected. He said yesterday family was complicated to him and that he didn't date... would he even be open to giving them a chance?
There was only one way to find out.
"Alright," Hazel whispered. She slowly dried her eyes and hiccuped a single time. "You're right... I have to talk to him. I... I'm seeing him tonight, I'll do it then. I'll... be strong."
"Yes, you will," She could hear Camille smiling and it automatically made a small smile slip onto Hazel's lips as well. "You always were strong, Hazel. You're the best person I know and I want nothing else than for you to be as happy as I am. I really think Nick could be the one."
Hazel didn't want to get her hopes up, but hearing her sister say it... she started to believe it, too. "Maybe. God, I'm so sorry for waking you up this early with all this. I'm just a complete mess."
Her sister chuckled tiredly in the other end. "I had to get up anyway. Lots to do. Call me later when you've talked to him—or better yet, let's talk tomorrow. If all goes well, I hope I won't hear from you until then."
Hazel chuckled back, but then sighed. "Thank you, Cam. You really are my life-saver."
"I love you too, sis. Be strong."
"Be strong." Hazel hung up and then let out a cloud of nervous energy through her mouth.
She would have to throw it all into the wind later and hope for the best, praying that no matter what happened, things between them wouldn't end bad. One thing was telling a man you loved him...
Another was letting him go with a broken heart.
~~~
The note that Hazel had left on Nick's bedside table had been simple. She had told him she needed the day to think about a few things and asked him to meet her tonight at the park where they had first really met, at the frozen water fountain. She hoped he had found the note and that he would follow it. By the radio silence she received all day, she took it as a yes.
Hazel therefore spent all day trying to figure out how to break the news to him as best as possible and how to best express exactly what it is she felt. She wanted him to know that if he felt the same, she was willing to try and make this work any way they could. Even if that meant leaving Leavenworth.
But all of that came after she told him those three scary little words she had never spoken to any man ever before. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating. But mostly scary.
Hazel had also spent the day trying to prepare for a hard rejection. If Nick for some reason didn't want to give them a go... or if the feelings weren't mutual and he couldn't do this... she had tried to brace herself as best as possible, but no matter what, she was certain it was going to hurt like nothing ever before.
But for now, she would remain hopeful.
Stepping out of her door just around 6.45pm, Hazel let out a cold breath and locked up her door. She got into her car and drove to the park with anxiousness filling up her body. She was really doing this. She was telling him she loved him.
Parking the car, Hazel was crossing the road to enter the park when she suddenly stopped up.
At the side of the road, the beautiful ornate sleigh that all of them had ridden a few days ago stood parked, just as magnificent as she remembered it. And in front of it, stood Nick.
Hands folded in front of his waist, he exhaled and looked at her as Hazel slowly walked closer, blinking in astonishment and slight confusion. Had he rented it again, just for the two of them? "Nick... what are you..."
"Come take a ride with me, Hazel," He gave a small smile before extending his hand. "We might as well enjoy the landscape while we talk."
Hazel softened and slowly smiled back. Then, she extended her hand and let him help her up into the front of the sleigh once more, climbing up himself after. With a firm swish, he then swung the reins and the nine handsome reindeers upfront went into a slow jog. Off they went.
"Before we start," Nick said, after a few moment of quiet riding, wherein Hazel had taken a last couple of minutes to prepare herself. "I'd just like to say something. However this night ends, I want you to know..." Nick slowly looked down and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Every part of it was real for me, Hazel. I had no idea this would happen, but I don't regret that it did. I only wish things could've been different between us, between... our lives."
Hazel was melting on the inside, feeling emotions bubble up to the surface and make her throat tighten up. She wasn't sure how this would end, but she felt everything he felt. "Me, too."
"With that said..." Nick lowered her hand and closed his eyes. He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I can't keep it hidden anymore. I didn't think I'd ever do this with you, but... you caught me by complete surprise, Hazel."
Hazel's heart swelled in her chest. He was on the same page as her. Was it really possible? "I feel the same way, Nick. I have something to tell you, too."
"Please let me finish," He admonished and drew in a deep breath. Hazel closed her mouth, but felt her heart beat wildly. "I... I'm not sure how to say it so it won't sound crazy or stupid, so I'm just going to say it. Hazel..." Nick turned towards her and looked into her eyes with his deep brown eyes. "I'm... I'm Santa Claus."
Hazel had been ready to burst with happiness when the sensation inside her puncture like a balloon. Slowly, her heart sank and instead complete and utter confusion filled her. "I... I'm sorry?"
"I'm Santa Claus," He repeated.
Hazel rose a dumbfound brow and pulled slightly back. "I... I know that? You been Santa all Christmas, I don't understand what you're trying to—"
"No, Hazel," Nick firmed her with his gaze and clutched her hands tighter. "I am thee Santa Claus. The real one, the one and only. Saint Nick."
Hazel stared. What else exactly was she supposed to do? She waited for Nick to crack a smile and shout 'fooled ya!' but he kept looking at her with a serious gaze. Too serious. Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes.
"Hazel, please say something."
Hazel tried to clear her throat. She had come here tonight to confess her love and hope to have it reciprocated, and instead... she found herself sitting in front of a lunatic with a personality crisis.
Oh, Hell... the signs had been all over. How blind could she have been?
Shaking her head, Hazel pulled her hand out of his and tried to put her thoughts in order. None of this made sense. The Nick she knew and had fallen in love with wasn't crazy. It just wasn't him. He was too sincere, too sweet, too... too perfect.
– Unless he was crazy.
"I..." Hazel tried to form a sentence, but what the hell did one say to this? "I..."
"I know it's crazy," Nick spoke up, trying to capture her hand again, but Hazel pointedly pulled it away. He sighed. "Look, I know you probably don't believe me—"
"Make the sleigh fly," Hazel pushed out. She looked up when she realized what she had to do; Debunk his act. "If you're really Santa, make the sleigh fly."
Nick stared at her like she was the crazy one. "Hazel, that's not—"
"No, just do it, Nick. This has to be Santa's sleigh, right? So make it fly," Hazel snapped. If he really believed he was Santa, he wouldn't have any way to deny her this, unless he started making crazy excuses and quoting stupid Christmas movies such as Elf where the sleigh wouldn't fly unless there was enough Christmas spirit. If he started that, she knew for sure he was crazy.
"Hazel, I know it's hard to believe, but that's not how to—"
"I don't care, Nick," Hazel turned towards him and met her with a hurt stare. He had played her for a fool all this time. "You say it's hard to believe, so make me believe you. If you can't make this sleigh fly—HOLY SHIT!"
Hazel screamed as Nick turned towards his reindeers and whistled through his teeth. With a yip and a strong tug, the reindeers started running.
– And then, with a hard push off the ground, the entire sleigh flew.
Hazel screamed her lungs raw and instinctively clung onto Nick who held the reins securely as they flew off into the night. The city started to shrink beneath them, turning the trees and streetlights into tiny flecks on the white ground.
What was happening?!
"OH, MY GOD!" Hazel cried as she felt the cane bane left and take a turn. She shrieked and hid her eyes in his coat, but couldn't stop taking peaks out anyway to make sure she really wasn't dreaming. This was really happening.
"Now do you believe me?" Nick leaned down and whispered in her ear. Hazel whimpered. "I didn't want to have to do this, but you looked about ready to storm off. You left me no choice."
Oh, God. Hazel couldn't believe her eyes, but as she slowly turned them up and stared into Nick's warm brown eyes, she finally realized what was so familiar about them.
She had known them her whole life.
His brown eyes... his natural ability with kids... Michael who stopped crying as soon as he touched her... Ashley's toy that he fixed... all of the toys in his hotel suite and the factory he owned up north...
"You really are Santa Claus," She whispered, not believing the actual words coming out of her mouth. There was no denying it though; The floating sleigh and the happy reindeers up front that slid them through the air like a weightless feather was like the dotting over the I. How was it... possible? "I don't believe it."
"You better," Nick tied the reins off and made Hazel widen her eyes in panic when he turned towards her and took his eyes off the sky, cupping her face instead. She was completely frozen, but for some reason she wasn't cold. And it wasn't the winter jacket she was wearing. "Hazel Duane, I had lost faith in Christmas and you made me believe again. You reminded me of why I do what I do every year and why I still need to do it. For that, and for so much more, I thank you."
Hazel was speechless. This night had been unreal and she still wasn't completely sure she was dreaming. She stared up at Nick, then looked around on the dark blue sky, the fluffy grey clouds lit up by the moon...
"I... I don't know what to say," Hazel whispered. Never in her life had she ever thought something like this could be real... her whole world had been flipped upside down, and yet here she was, alive and awake.
– Siting right next to Santa Claus.
"Don't say anything," Nick whispered. Slowly, he slid an arm around her and pressed her to his chest, and only because Hazel was still in too much shock to argue, did she lean in and allow herself to be nursed by his warmth.
Hazel couldn't believe another moment of what she was seeing and slowly closed her to the glowing magical view of the full moon lighting their way ahead. It was all so crazy... but...
She had fallen in love with the real Santa Claus, and she had absolutely no regrets.
• • •
Move over, Mariah Carey, there's a new MVP in town.