***Warning adult content. Not recommended for young readers. Another note, if you don't like it don't read it. Just move along. For the rest of you, enjoy the rebooted version of this chapter***
Friday comes along faster than I want it to. Not that I don't want to go on our trip, there's just a lot of planning involved, and I feel a little rushed. To be fair, it's kind of exciting to be spontaneous for once. Spontaneity has never been a specialty of mine, but Harry has managed to at least put it on my radar.
I think I've finally packed everything I need. Harry told me to stop worrying, and that anything we're missing we can buy while we're away. Being the practical one I don't like relying on purchasing things later, but he finally convinces me that I need to relax and enjoy this time. On several occasions he's reminded me this is supposed to be a holiday, not another thing to stress over. I'm doing everything I can to keep my promise to leave the finances out of the equation during our vacation, so we'll see how that goes.
We've said our goodbyes to the girls. Sam and Niall are at the house with them when the driver comes to take us to the airport. We're flying on a private jet because of course Harry wants to limit the amount of interruptions on our trip which makes sense, so I don't put up a fight on that one. Little do I know he has no intention on flying in an ordinary private jet.
"Harry Edward Styles this is spectacular."
I continue my tour of the jet, which is an enormously ridiculous sentence. In my entire lifetime planes have been a mode of transportation, flying from point A to point B, nothing more. The only thing tour worthy should be, hello this is the passenger cabin, the lavatory, and the cockpit. Apparently when you have an unlimited amount of money at your disposal, bedrooms and dining areas are necessary as well.
"A bedroom? Seriously Harry? As always, it's not necessary for you to spend this much money young man."
I chide him as I'm still trying to not pick a fight about the money. He cups my chin and smiles sweetly, kissing my lips with the utmost tenderness.
"Get over it gorgeous. I'll spend every dime I own to make this the time of your life. And who knows, we could get tired and need a nap, it's a long flight. No more complaining about money. Understood?"
"A nap...really?" I wrap my arms around his neck and continue kissing him. "Ok Mr. Bossy you win."
Victoriously he rests his grin on my lips.
"If I'm gonna be honest we're not going to be sleeping much. I don't want to miss a moment. And since I'm so bossy my rule is, we're not getting off this plane until I seduce you at least once."
"Hm, what are you waiting for Mr. Styles?"
He pauses not quite expecting such an eager response.
"Let me get the flight crew all settled to take off and then I'll have my way with you. Go get comfy and I'll be back shortly."
He hesitates for a moment and grabs my hand as I begin walking towards the bed.
"Willow?"
"Yes, my love."
"I want you to know that you've made me the happiest man alive. I'm so madly in love with you. Thank you for agreeing to go on this trip, it means a lot to me."
"You're welcome Baby. And I love you too."
Harry backs his way out of the room, nearly running into the door frame.
"Be careful clumsy."
"Sorry, I can't take my eyes off you."
I giggle and swat him out the room while flopping back on the bed which is much more comfortable than needed for a bedroom on an airplane. My curiosity kicks in, of course I can't let anything go. I'm a Taurus and I'm stubborn as hell. I grab my phone and start researching how much this thing costs. I'm going to fuss at him when I find out, I know this for a fact.
My Google search results in an alarming price tag for a brand-new Embraer Lineage 1000E. Starting at damn near $50,000,000. What the fuck? Harry better pray he just rented this thing. But god only knows how much that cost, I'm sure that's a small fortune too.
I really shouldn't get upset; I know it's his money. And more importantly both of us know I don't care about his bank account, but this excessive luxury isn't necessary. I really don't want to pick a fight with him, but he needs to chill out.
Harry walks back into the bedroom with two champagne flutes and a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne. The flight attendant is behind him with a silver platter full of the freshest looking fruit I've ever seen, the chocolate covered strawberries look extremely decadent.
His smile is radiant and I'm trying so hard to bite my tongue, at least until the flight attendant leaves the room. All of this is lovely, making it difficult to stay mad at him. Well, mad isn't the word, I'm more irritated that he hasn't heeded my requests to tone down the spoiling.
The attendant leaves and we're finally alone. Harry continues to smile but his joy fades when he sees the irritation written all over my face.
"Willow what's wrong? You don't look happy...you're supposed to be happy."
"I am happy, but I'm angry with you too."
"What the hell for?"
This is the first time he's raised his voice at me. He sits the champagne and glasses on the table, hovering over me at the edge of the bed.
"It's the money thing again, isn't it?"
"Yes, it's the money thing!" I raise my voice to match his. "Harry this is a $50 million jet; please tell me you didn't buy this."
He swallows and wrings his hands together, which is a sure sign of his guilty conscience.
"Yes, I bought it used, from a friend he's going through some financial difficulties and he needed to sell it. I didn't spend $50 million on it; I got a deal for $2 million. I know it seems like a lot of money, but we can use it anytime we travel or for you and the girls when you come see me on tour. What's the problem? Seriously, you're really overreacting."
He sits next to me on the bed. I think he's realized that hovering over me may be intimidating and not advisable in my fragile emotional state.
"Overreacting? Harry, I've told you so many fucking times to stop spending all this money on me. It's not necessary, the goddamn public already thinks I'm a gold digger."
"Who fucking cares what they think? I know that you don't give a shit about the money. I just want to treat you like a queen."
"Your actions have always made me feel like a queen. You don't have to buy my affection."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Is that really what you think? That I fucking need to buy my friends or lovers attention like a spoiled trust fund kid? That's insulting Willow. I love you and I don't need to buy your love. Maybe this whole trip is a mistake, because it seems like it's just going to cause problems."
"Look who's overreacting now. You know I love you, and you're the most kindhearted man I've ever met. You don't need money to show your love. I don't understand why you feel the need to do any of this."
"For once can you just stop and think about my feelings, because I've always considered yours?"
"Seriously? You have got too be kidding me."
"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry. Will you please just listen to me?"
I fold my arms across my chest and scowl at him.
"I've never cared about anyone enough to spend this money on except my mum and Gem. I give to several charities, and make some investments, but everyone else wants or expects something from me. You've never wanted anything from me but my love. I just want to enjoy some luxury with you, someone who doesn't expect it from me. Is this issue ever going to go away or will we be forced to do this dance forever? Because this is bullshit Willow, and you know it."
"Harry Edward Styles, you won't ever have to worry about any of my bullshit again. When we make it to Europe just fucking send me home. I wouldn't want to be a burden on you."
I spit my venomous words into the anxiety filled room and I immediately regret them. I know he doesn't think I'm a burden to him, I just said those words to hurt him, but why? He doesn't deserve this, yet my attack doesn't relent.
"What the fuck ever Willow, whatever you want."
He picks up one of the champagne flutes and throws it across the room. It shatters into a million pieces which is an unbearable metaphor to how this conversation and our hearts have become. Simply broken. My eyes well up with tears and I stare at him with hellfire brewing in my eyes. He promised he would never be violent because he knew it would frighten me.
I don't take my eyes off him as I make my final verbal assault on the way out the room.
"Fuck you Harry."
"Willow, I'm sorry, please don't go. I'm a fucking asshole, please stay."
He runs towards me trying to grab my hand, as if that'll make this argument go away.
"Don't you dare touch me."
His grip slowly loosens, his face is covered in defeat. It's obvious that he's unwilling to hold me against my will. One thing's for sure, he won't physically restrain me after the incident with James.
Tears flow freely down our pained facial expressions.
"I'm so sorry Willow, I love you."
I turn my back and walk out the door without saying another word.
***
An hour into the flight I'm sitting in one of the reclining chairs in the main cabin. My knees pulled up to my chest, staring out the window as the clouds drift by. Those clouds are lucky, they just exist; no feelings, no heartache, no difficult decisions to make. In my messed-up head I'm even mad at the clouds, I'm mad at the world...but I'm angry with myself more than anything. He shouldn't have thrown the glass, but it was my behavior that provoked him.
Towards the end of my marriage this is how arguments transpired with James. He got angry, we disagreed, and I pushed him until he lost his temper. Why do I do these things? Maybe it was because I was testing him to see if he'd change. But Harry isn't James, and it was shitty of me to play games the way I had with my ex.
The tears haven't halted, they've continued to soak through my shirt. I let them collect until my vision becomes too blurry for me to see my tortured expression in the reflection of the window. Then I wipe them from my eyes and start the process all over again. It's like I'm enjoying persecuting myself, this is my punishment for being a stubborn bitch.
I know I overreacted, yet here I am sitting in this chair beating myself up instead of running back into his arms begging for forgiveness. I can't believe some of the things I said to him. And some of the things I didn't; like I love you when he said it to me. What the hell is wrong with me?
The flight attendant has made several attempts to bring me food. The only thing I've accepted from her is water. After handing me the bottle, she grabs my hand and squeezes it as a reassurance that everything will be ok. She doesn't know if it will be, but in her kind way she's trying to make me feel better and I respect her for that. I think she feels bad for me, but she should feel sorry for Harry.
The water bottle is now barren, and I need to get hydrated after crying for an hour. I turn in my seat to ask for another bottle when I hear feet slowly walking up beside me. But the footsteps don't belong to her, they belong to Harry.
I look at his face, which is as ruined as mine. His eyes are bloodshot, and his appearance is of a man who's had his heart ripped out and put it in a blender. My tears come streaming down even harder when I realize that I'm the one who turned his precious heart into a smoothie which my bitchy ego fed upon.
He leans down to grasp my hands,and without resisting I offer them to him. He wraps me tightly into his arms. My face is pressed against his solid chest, I can feel his heart rate increase the moment we touch. He kisses the top of my head and through his agonizing tears he begins speaking.
"Baby I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I should have never raised my voice at you or thrown that glass. You've been through enough trauma and I swore I would always rescue you from emotional pain not put you through it. Can you come with me, so we can talk and figure this out together? My behavior was childish. I don't ever want to see you cry like this again. I love you Angel."
I step away from his grip looking up into his soft green eyes.
"I know what you're doing, comparing yourself to James. You're nothing like James so don't you dare beat yourself up over this. I love you too Harry and I don't want to fight anymore." I raise myself on my tiptoes and leave a light kiss on his lips. "C'mon let's go talk."
***
We sit with our backs on the headboard holding hands.
"You're right about the money Harry, I've been selfish. I kept telling myself that refusing your gifts and all the material things was the right thing to do, but I was making things worse. Life hasn't always been easy for you; I know it must be confusing never knowing if people genuinely want to be a part of your life without wanting things in return. Yeah, I'm sure the money has been nice. But it can't be much fun with no one to share it with. I'm sure it was lonely and I'm sorry I never recognized that."
"I just want you to be the one I can share these things with. Our relationship is so new, I want to shower you with nice things for now. I know I don't have to, and I know these things won't make you love me any more than you already do. Because you offer me your unconditional love every day. But I want you to have fun and enjoy some of the finer things for a while. You've been through so much; you deserve to get a little spoiled. More than anything I want you to be more confident in yourself and your worth. We can work on that together."
He squeezes my hand; one, two, three.
"James put you through a lot of shit and I don't expect things to change immediately. But we both need to agree that when things get tough or when we fight, we're not going to threaten to leave or give up. We need to work through it together."
He offers the most genuine smile then kisses me on my temple.
"I tell you what, let's make a deal."
I turn to face him with my legs crossed, holding both his hands on my lap.
"What kind of deal?" I stare at him quizzically.
"Let me spend what I want on this trip. No questions asked. When we get home the two of us can sit down and come up with ideas of some more charities that we want to donate to, and we'll set some limitations on spending. You're right, just because we have the money doesn't mean we need to spend it. We can simplify things at that point. I want you to feel like we're an everyday couple living a happy life together. How does that sound?"
"Perfect, it sounds positively perfect. I'm so proud of you, your heart continues to grow bigger every day. Giving a little more sounds like a great idea. We can include the girls; it'll humble them too; they'll learn the importance of charity and giving to others who are less fortunate than they are."
I shake my head in disbelief at how truly wonderful this man is.
"I just thought of something, I know I spent a lot of money on this jet. I do want to use it for our holidays as well as for you and the girls to visit me while I'm on tour. But we won't need it all the time, I know what else we can use it for."
"What's your plan?"
"There's a lot of families with sick children who need to travel for medical care, and they can't afford it. Like kids with cancer, and heart problems. What do you think about donating flights to them? I'm sure there's some sort of organization who can help us coordinate this."
"That's a brilliant idea."
"I'm really excited about this; we'll figure it all out when we return from holiday."
"I'm really proud of you Harry, you continue to amaze me every day. I'm so sorry for being such a bitch about you buying this thing."
I reach for a lingering kiss, allowing his tongue to slip past my lips ever so slowly.
"Mmm, that was a lovely kiss. But no more calling yourself a bitch. I don't like how that sounds, especially after hearing James call you that so disgustingly." He pauses. "I'm sorry we shouldn't be talking about him. You know I don't hate people Baby, but I hate him."
"It's ok Love. Let's get back to talking about us. I want to hear more about our trip. You've been so secretive about it. You have to give me a few hints, please."
I beg and bat my eyelashes at him.
"I can't, that'll ruin all the surprises. I'll only tell you that when we fly into London we'll be going out for a nice dinner."
"I'm beginning to think having a shower on an airplane isn't such a bad idea. This is a long flight and I sure we'll both want to get cleaned up before dinner."
"Does that mean I can take advantage of you in the shower?"
I taunt him by flashing a wink and delaying my response.
"Maybe if you play your cards right."
"The odds are in my favor I have an excellent poker face."
"You are so full of crap Harry; I can read you like an open book. We both wear our hearts on our sleeves. There's no hiding our emotions."
"You make a very valid point."
He gives me a quick peck on the lips and hums into the kiss.
"I tell you what, I really want to open that champagne. Are you okay with sharing a glass? Some asshole came in here and smashed the other one."
I giggle at his backwards insult towards his anger.
"Wow I wonder who that asshole was. Did you kick him off the plane?"
"Yeah I threw him off without a parachute, he won't be coming back to bother us."
Regardless of the sarcasm I could read the sincerity behind his words. There's a genuine promise that he'll never act so aggressively again. I completely understand what he's telling me, and he knows that I believe him.
Harry pops the cork on the champagne. As discussed, we share a glass and continue refilling it until the bottle is gone as we feed each other all the fresh fruit. I haven't been this relaxed in such a long time. We snuggle and hold hands, but more importantly we have some really great conversation. This is a perfect time for us to get to learn even more about each other. I'm loving every second of it.
"Harry can I be honest with you?"
"Always! Please."
"Sitting in bed chatting with you today has been some of the happiest moments I've ever had. I'm really enjoying my time."
He lifts my chin which has been resting on his now bare chest.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. We've needed this time alone, simply enjoying each other's company without interruptions. My goal with this trip is for you to feel relaxed and do things you've never had the chance to do before. This means the world to me."
"I am so grateful for this experience. You're the only person who's ever made me feel like I deserve any of these things. Maybe that's why I had such a shit relationship before us. I settled because I didn't think I deserved better. You've given me a special gift that no money can buy. When I'm with you I'm more confident than ever. I will never be able to repay you for this."
"You already have Darling. Accepting that you deserve to be loved is more than enough. And the sex, well...the sex helps too."
"I figured you'd say that. You're such a smart ass."
I rest my body on his chest staring into his jade eyes.
"Speaking of which, I do believe you promised me one of the amenities of this flight was being seduced by my sexy ass boyfriend. I better get what's coming to me or I'll demand a refund."
I burst out in a fit of giggles when he digs his fingers into my sides tickling me wildly. He loves when I'm playful. He rolls his body on top of me, holding my wrists down on the bed while passionately kissing me. The rhythm of his tongue's caress is smooth and sensuous. He's rocking his body against mine.
"I know this is a sore subject, but what do you say we christen this $2 million jet?"
I giggle menacingly.
"Let's get our money's worth out of it Baby. You better get started."
He releases my hands from the bed so they can explore. I know how much he likes my hands roaming his body. He sits up while straddling my hips. My fingers ghost the tight skin covering his biceps, chest and abs. I can't resist taking the liberty of unbuttoning his skintight jeans while he's rubbing his hardened cock against my center.
"Baby you're so hard. Let's get these clothes off, I want you so bad."
"Slow down Princess, I have something I need to do first."
He removes my hands from the zipper of his pants, kneeling beside me. One by one, my body is freed from another piece of clothing until there is nothing covering my skin but the warmth of his breath.
"Harry...Baby, I need you inside me."
"Be patient Love."
He spreads my legs apart, continuing to kneel he grabs one of my legs and rests my ankle on his shoulder. His lips leaving a trail of kisses beginning at my ankle, moving across my calf, lingering each kiss for a moment long enough to leave the warm comforting sensation of his love. Each time his lips release and travel to a new spot the sensation is permanently tattooed on my skin.
Quiet moans flow freely from my mouth, mixing with the sound of our heart beats, his deep breathing, and Harry's whispered sentiments of I love you. All of which creates a symphony like no other. I've never been one to understand the meaning behind symphonic pieces of music. But the meaning of this overture is clear as a bright blue sky for me. This is our song; this sound is a frequency that belongs to us. Every perfect pair of lovers has their own song, I suppose. But this is ours and no one can take that away from us.
Harry's fingers begin to playfully tiptoe up my thighs. His left hand eventually rests on my hip and his right reaches my warm, wet, entrance. He begins by sliding in one finger as his thumb performs a routine on my clit. My head tilts back and my eyes start to cinch shut.
"Willow look at me Love. I don't want you to miss any of this."
Harry slides his body laying between my thighs. His face is right at my entrance. He lifts my other leg over his shoulder, putting my pelvis at the perfect angle to formally dine on me, which I'm more than ready for.
"Oh my god Harry, is this really happening?"
His warm breath caresses my slick folds as he begins teasing by inserting two more fingertips.
"Yes Darling this is really happening. Can I taste you now? You look delicious."
"Please Baby give me your tongue."
Harry has a wide, long tongue, which narrows perfectly towards the tip. These oral characteristics have become his gift to me. The tip knows exactly how to tease my clit, the wide base can make a swipe of my outsides from top to bottom, never once needing to neglect one area in favor of taking care of the other. And finally, the length; Harry is a master at rolling his tongue to penetrate my body further than I imagined possible.
My fingers are tightly wrapped around his curls using them as leverage to ride his face until I'm on the verge of an epic release.
"Fuck Harry, your tongue feels so fucking good. I'm gonna cum so good for you Baby."
The muscles throughout my body begin to tense, I'm shaking and moaning so loudly which I have no control over. Harry doesn't come up for a breath, determined not to lose his rhythm or disturb my impending orgasm.
"Yes, that's it. Don't stop, you're so good to me. Do you want me to come for you Baby?"
He nods his head while his tongue still doesn't miss a beat. The wide pad of his thumb finds its way to my bundle of nerves that are completely overstimulated.
A rush of warm glow begins at my clit and radiates outwards in waves. These waves are intense, surfing waves of this size could be dangerous and likely result in a surfer tragically being consumed by the warm saltwater. My body is that surfer, I am being consumed by this glow and it's glorious.
The feeling of warmth can only be described as the welcoming heat offered by a fireplace on a much too cold day after one has been out shoveling snow for hours on end. You need that heat to live, you need it to breathe, to bring you back to life. Harry has brought me to life. He is my fire; he is my waves; he is my everything.
Harry continues lapping up what's left of my orgasm as my breathing becomes regulated. I look down at him speaking in a sweet and tender tone.
"I've found the way to heaven my love, I don't think I ever would've found it without you."
Trying to look me in the eyes before speaking, he slides his body hovering over mine.
"That good huh?"
"Yes, it was that good. All of this was that good. You, the trip, the details...you even have my favorite scented candles placed in the room. You pay attention to every detail whether it's what feels best to me when you touch my body or the way you surround me with the things that make me feel most comfortable...like jasmine candles."
"I know how the scent calms you."
"That's what I'm saying, you pay attention to the things that may seem unimportant to others but they're most important to me. I've never had anyone care enough about me to even notice what makes me feel this way. You're everything I want and need in my life as a partner. Now that I know this happiness exists, I can't get enough of it."
"That's good because I'll never stop giving it to you."
As always, it's his style to cup my chin as he deeply kisses me, starting another fire deep within me. His long slender fingers massaging one breast than another. I take a moment to finish unzipping his jeans, revealing that he's decided wearing underwear while flying is optional, as I've said before, sometimes he wears it and sometimes he doesn't.
He reluctantly pulls himself away from me so he can rip off his trousers. Standing at the bedside appreciating all my curves, imperfections (which he calls perfectly imperfect), and my deep blue eyes.
"C'mon baby I need you inside of me. I want you to feel good too."
I bat my eyelashes, begging for him to follow my request.
Harry's new smile isn't a smirk, or wild. It's compassion and love; without the use of words he's telling me I love you and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy, and to feel every ounce of pleasure I can offer.
He takes his place in between my legs sliding himself inside slowly. That's where he keeps the pace, not only do the slow strokes feel good but it makes this love making session longer and it's perfect. Buried inside my body, slowly stroking in and out, we kiss more passionately than others are probably capable of. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear when he takes breaks from kissing my lips.
"I love you Willow."
"I love you too Harry."
I could go on this way forever but after the orgasm Harry gave me, I need to give him something in return. I tighten my grip on his cock which I learned by doing Kegel exercises. I need him to cum.
"Fuck Baby, damn that feels good."
"Do you want more?"
He nods his head frantically and I squeeze tighter.
"Oh, shit that's incredible, more, I need more. I'm ready to cum."
I cinch myself around Harry's shaft as tightly as I can as he rams himself inside me at a quickened pace.
"Faster Harry."
He obliges my request and I swear I haven't seen this much sexual pleasure on a man's face in my life.
"Do you think you can come with me Princess?"
"Yes, I'm so fucking close."
"Fuck, I can't hold it any longer."
"Do it Harry, fill me up I'm ready for it."
He thrusts fast and deep three more times. Like two light switches are flipped on simultaneously we both scream each other's names. His dick throbs unloading his perfect seed into my body. My walls pulse around him until we both lay spent on the bed.
"Harry that was perfect. And I do have to admit, I'm enjoying having this bedroom on the jet. Making love in the clouds is fucking amazing."
"So, what you're saying is that I'm right?" He says with a cheeky smile.
"Hush young man, I get it, you're always right. And I love you, even though you're a know it all."
"I love you more Princess." He stares into my eyes for a few moments. "I hate to break up this party, but we'll be landing in a few hours. We need to get a shower taken before we touch down in London, and I have a feeling this might take a while."
"You really are feisty today, aren't you Lover?"
"You only have yourself to blame Gorgeous."
"Ok you win, we'll have some fun in the shower. But Baby?"
"Yes..."
"Thank you for all of this, and all of you."
"You're welcome Darling, you deserve every bit of it."
His smile is sweet, then it morphs into a devious grin. He picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder and smacks my ass like he's some sort of caveman.
"Get ready, because I'm not anywhere close to be finished with you."
I squeal in excitement as he carries me off to the shower. Things are about to get very interesting.