Her life is experiencing an intermission, it's like you are choosing to get off at the bus stop when a just few kilometers again you know you'll meet the final stop.
The purpose of her life was only for the family, or maybe how she graduated from college and looked for work, then bought a small patch of apartment for her family to live together. Her dream was so simple that he reached it within 3 years; graduated from college at a young age, got a job at one of his friend's business, and enjoyed a tedious working period.
"... you can ..."
"... and please be careful..."
"... no ..."
"... be sur-"
"Cho Eunsa!"
"Cho Eunsa!"
"Cho Eunsa! ... aren't you?"
"Huh?"
"Are you listening? Your alarm is so annoying! Please, wake up! You always sleep on your desk. Is your neck okay?"
"Uhm ... my desk is more relaxing than my house's condition," Eunsa got rid of a thick book with all the things she had drawn since high school. Eunsa massaged her temples because her head was suddenly dizzy and very painful.
"Oh, come on!" Noh Chaerim-her boss exclaimed in her cranky voice, "don't be like someone who has no home! You have bought it since two years ago. You never even try to step in there. Your family won't be happy-"
"You will never know whether they are happy or not," Chaerim's statement was broken with Eunsa's cold words. Eunsa immediately turned her face away and chose to drink the water in her bottle.
Chaerim began to feel uncomfortable with the situation she created herself, so she approached Eunsa to then pull an empty chair next to Eunsa and prop her chin right after Eunsa returned to position herself to her work. "Cho Eunsa, do I have to introduce you to my boyfriend's acquaintance? He is a lawyer, he is handsome and talented! I will arrange your dating."
"Eonnie, the man you introduced me last time can't even drink a sliver of soju. I have to take him home and I have to go around Seoul because he raved about his address."
"It ... was my mistake. I didn't even know he can't drink ..." Chaerim sipped the coffee she just brewed, "... oh, how about the stage at the festival? Have you checked it?"
"The place is too messy, the land is not flat, and the grass is difficult to be chop. They have to find a new place or they cannot hold an event at all," Eunsa gave several pieces of paper that had printed things that must be reported to Chaerim.
"Is it that bad?" Chaerim sighed and looked at the report documents provided by Eunsa. Chaerim even let out more frustration after checking all the reports. "Should I schedule a meeting?"
"As soon as possible," Eunsa rose from her desk full of miniatures and papers, packed everything before then she stepped away from the desk, "I will finish the stage design as they want. For this time being I can only finish the stage."
"Then what do you mean?! You want to go now?! It's still 12 noon! You just arrived at the office at 10 am!"
"Survey another place than yesterday's place."
"Can you at least be in office- ah ... never mind ..."
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Drum and guitar harmonized. Cheers were boisterous and applause matched the accompaniment. A melodious song was as melodious as the nature that showed the cold was coming. Like the celebration of happiness for the changing seasons towards the winter that was about to snow. Everything was abundant happy except one.
With her cold gaze, her simple figure stood up to the street entertainer. Her hands hid into her super warm jacket pocket she was wearing. Sometimes her right hand appeared with some cheerios in her hand, eating it as snacks.
Eunsa is indeed an art worker (but she never admitted it), but she didn't really want the art as part of her life. Her life was only about money, but she did not know what treasure she had dug for. As if in the middle of going through a process without purpose.
No.
All of her life had stopped in the middle, without being able to retreat or even to go forth. The most plausible reason why her life was a process that couldn't be continued was the past. She hated her own past so much that she never planned the future for herself. She probably often designed the future for many people, but not with her future. For her, the biggest achievement was finding work, earning money, and dying with work that is piled up. She always thought that every day was a busy day and she would experience stress and decided to commit suicide, at least there was a reason for her to leave the world because there was no purpose she wanted to achieve from here.
"We only need a simple stage that is not too high. Because we will do it in open space-"
"We have to choose another place for the stage."
"What?"
"The land that you specify as a concert land has very poor land, the land is uneven and too loose. When it's raining or snowing, it's likely that the soil will get muddy and runny, very big. People will choose not to watch rather than having to dirty their shoes."
"So ... what do you suggest?"
"It is impossible to use the land. We better move. Poisoning the soil and making it die for just one day will take time."
"Move ... where?"
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"... I thought you already knew we should be more careful with the stage. It's raining heavily and there's no way the artists will-"
"Buy a candle now."
"Eh, Eunsa-"
"We don't have much time for things like this. It's better to get these workers to look for candles and start rubbing the stage floor with candles. This can at least make the floor not too slippery and waterproof."
"You hear her, right? Quickly do it! Don't make the same mistake!"
The daily workers who worked as ordinary workers who lifted every logistics then scattered, even though the rain poured so hard and made them slip even they didn't really fall. Meanwhile, Chaerim turned around with a rough breath, being annoyed even though she finally gave a smile between her twitching temples. "I don't know that you will be the savior for today."
"Don't be a handshaker, please?" Eunsa fired a glance at the person who should be her boss, "I'm already wet with rain, don't do it with your spittle too."
And the conversation spiked with a little chuckle that sounded so fun even it was a bit annoying because of a rough smile from the owner of the face that looked soft and friendly. Chaerim knew that it was a joke, but it was difficult to adjust since Eunsa's temperament was unpredictable. Chaerim even fired Eunsa twice just because the words that Eunsa thought it was a joke but Chaerim agreed it was an insults. Chaerim really wanted to kick Eunsa's butt and say that she was wrong (Chaerim had done it once), but Eunsa will always saw Chaerim's face like she had done nothing and asked with her numb face.
While busy polishing the slippery stage, the first black van arrived. Someone who was in it came before other people have gathered. Either want to get more money or they just didn't have a work to do.
"Hello, I'm PENOMECO. Thank you."
Almost-white blond hair, big face with big nose, wide smile, and pleasant sweet voice.
PENOMECO.
In the past two years he had became someone who was even more popular than idols because of his kindness and beautiful words he had created.
Eunsa never interested in art even though in reality she worked for the art stage layout. Eunsa thought that art was ... a resistor of work and life. Freedom of art was one of the many reasons for someone to rebel.
Then was she agreed to be called as an art worker?
She preferred to be called as a supporter rather than a worker. She hated being a slave to art.
"PENOMECO ... hm ..." Eunsa murmured, maybe she was curious about his extraordinary-friendly manners, or just the curiosity of art presented by PENOMECO on the stage. After all, both of them would be seen in the next few hours.
Everyone looked busy, and everyone started to look annoying to Eunsa, especially the stupid minions of the technicians under the white tent. They didn't even realize that the audience began to fill the venue and Eunsa was still going back and forth to check the shortcomings. Like a supervisor-like a leader, even though in reality, Eunsa was nothing but the creator of the stage.
"Eum .. we're so sorry. PENOMECO keeps on wanting to see the stage," a man interrupted the flow of Eunsa's imagination, carrying the object that she was thinking about first; PENOMECO.
"Oh, no problem," Eunsa nodded and left the stage, just like that. Eunsa sure that she saw the confused face of PENOMECO, but Eunsa didn't really care about that. She was here for work, not to find some friends.
Eunsa went to the technician's tent, had a little discussion and was angry because of the incompetence of the people around her, then left to leave the set to escape the tiring world of work. A backstage with quite long distance tall trees, seperated by some barricades.
There are times when a cigarette must be there, but the last time Eunsa tried a cigarette, her skin was itchy; allergic to tobacco.
Eunsa knew that she was not the one who was felt the appearance under the rain with a slippery platform that polished with wax, but every time she created a stage, she always felt nervous. Not because a chance of failure, but nervous because of imperfection.
Yes, Perfectionist.
"Maybe I should stop thinking about it ..." Eunsa mumbled while leaning her body on the wet barricade with the smell of rust.
"Cho Eunsa,"
"Hm?"
"Come and see! The show has started."
Eunsa nodded, throwing away her unwanted face before joined the staff that called her before.
Joyful cheers.
Rumble of happiness.
Great applause.
Eunsa felt a tremendous dizziness, like being in a carousel that never stopped to move. Her stomach seemed to be ruffled and broken. Her face immediately paled.
It was nervous that Eunsa meant, and she didn't even know that this was an ordinary nervousness, or there was something wrong with her. But after a few minutes, these things usually would pass, leaving only the remnants of the pale on the face.
No one knows.
And indeed nobody should know.
Eunsa walked staggeringly toward the technician's tent to monitor everything. A few minutes later, she was able to lean on the iron tent pole while crossing her arms and looking at the appearance.
There was nothing more interesting than the surge of happiness conveyed through the music. But Eunsa didn't try to be amazed by that. She would try to be amazed at what she has created, in what she has tried.
However ... she failed.
Eunsa is lulled.
PENOMECO.
He smiled.
He waved his hand.
He sang.
He walked.
There was nothing more interesting than that.
Eunsa-who would never appreciate life of art, captivated by that appearance. And without even realizing it, the unwanted face that had been disappointed then calmed down, so peaceful, and her eyes signaled a life.
Like missing.
Like reaching for old memories.
And finally, Eunsa fell down.