5 // Pris
It's now Saturday, and all I've done in my free time, all week, is text Dani. I love how we talk. I'm never embarrassed or have to think out what I'm about to say. I just write. Sometimes it ends up in goofy typos and other times, I tell her exactly how I feel about certain matters.
We set to meet today and just stroll around town. A very cheap idea, but I'm okay with it. As long I spend time with her, that's the most important.
As I'm tracing the outer lining of my eye with a black pencil, I can't help asking myself if she knows I'm gay. Our messages have been so - friendly. Not that I mind, but I was expecting a little flirting at some point. To my disappointment, there were no playful compliments of any kind. For that, though, I also have myself to blame. I could have started a flirting game, but I'd prefer that she initiates it. I hate doing things first.
I finish all the girlie preparation for such an outing and I head down the stairs. That's when I run into Neil, as he blocks my way to the front door entry.
"Going somewhere?" he asks, his arms folded against his chest.
"Yeah, I said so earlier."
I try to brush shoulders with him, but he simply takes a step to the side, preventing me from going forward.
"What do you want?" I ask, annoyed. "I'm gonna be late."
"You're seeing someone special, aren't you?"
"Why would you say that?" I try to keep from blushing, as Dani's smile appeared in my mind.
"You never wear dresses. Got a fella we should meet?"
I reply, "No. I just feel like getting dressed."
He walks towards the drawers of one of the end tables, situated in the main hallway and pulls out a few small packages. He hands them to me.
"Stay safe, Pris."
I chuckle, "Yeah, okay."
"You're laughing now. I hear childbirth is quite the experience."
"Well, it's not like you're in any position to tell me anything. Or are you?"
He glares at me, as I exit the house. If only he knew.
Well, on some level, I wish he knew. Neil, of all people, wouldn't make an enormous deal of me being gay at all. He'd tease the heck out of me, but that's about innocent as any of our other pitiful 'fights'. I just might come out to him second. First, being already Ari.
I glance at my watch. I'm on time. I hate this moment, the one when you have to wait around for someone. Time seems to be so much longer in those instances. It's almost as seconds turned into hours. It would be a tad bit easier if I had music in my ears, but she could arrive at any minute, thus it's not really worth pulling out my headphones.
I tap my foot against the sidewalk and turn my head to my right. Dani is walking towards me and taking her white earphones out. She casually slides them into her dark blue jeans and lifts her head to me.
She smirks at me, "Guess I'm late."
"By like a minute," I smile at her.
She stuffs her hands into her pockets, "What do you wanna do?"
"As you said, just walk around."
"I didn't know if you were still okay with that."
"It's a nice day, I don't mind."
We start walking down the street, at a slow pace. I want to erase the silence, but I don't know what to say. Once again, I'm hoping she'll start speaking first. I look up at her. Dani's looking straight ahead of her, with a pensive expression on her face. She's so gorgeous.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask, fighting my hate of making the first step.
"You," she smiles at me.
And my cheeks redden. I almost want to smack her. It's not even right to make me blush like that.
"And other than that?"
"That's pretty much it."
A grin won't leave my face, but I try to control it, "And what exactly are you thinking about me?"
"That I'm lucky to be by your side."
She really is doing this on purpose, "Yeah, okay."
"You don't believe me?"
"I know those stupid lines."
"They're not stupid if they're truthful."
"Define truthful."
She sucks on her lip ring before looking back down at me, "I've enjoyed your presence a lot since we've met. It's impacted me, in such a way that, I think about you a lot."
I love the way she talks. It's so - eloquent. I love her voice too, but that's just because the huskiness is so sexy.
"I like the way you talk," I tell her my thought. "You carefully pick your words and that's what I like the most."
"I'll admit that I'm more on the literary side," she smiles sheepishly.
My hand brushes hers as we walk, which makes my heart throb. I loathe how my body reacts to attraction towards others. I can't even pretend to dislike them; my body illustrates it all by itself.
"I am as well. It's just not as flagrant as when you speak."
"Someone who uses the word 'flagrant', is totally on the literary side," she chuckles.
I laugh along. We pass in front of an ice cream stand. I don't pay attention to it, but Dani sure does.
"What is it?" I turn to her.
"I want one," she tells me. "Do you?"
"Yeah, okay."
We walk closer and get in line. I order cherry and she gets chocolate. I'm about to pull out my wallet but Dani hands the money for both.
"I could have handled it."
"I take you out. I pay."
We continue our stroll, ice cream cones in hand, and decide to go through a park. It's nice out here. The air is cool. It's refreshing, given that the sun is hitting hard.
Someone yells, "Aye, Dani!"
We both turn to the blonde girl, one of Dani's friends. Her name's Alex I think? I'm not sure. Dani smiles at her and they do some kind of handshake. I thought only guys at my school did those things. Guess not.
"So, you do have a new bitch," she says to Dani, grinning at me.
I blink and gawk at her. Her new bitch? I don't even get an inkling of respect?
"She's not my new bitch. We're just hanging out," Dani defends me.
My scowl gets more pronounced when she replies, "Yeah, right. Y'all are fucking and won't admit it."
Dani shoots a deadly glare to her and she backs off.
"We're just hanging out," Dani repeats.
"All right, if you say so. See ya later, Dan," she tells her before walking off.
I smile a bit, when I meet Dani's kind eyes. She turns to stand in front of me, and gazes into my eyes.
"I'm sorry about that," she apologizes. "How can I make it up to you?"
My smile grows more. I don't know what I'd like. If I were daring, I'd say a kiss. But I don't have the guts to ask for something like that. Maybe I should try something more playful.
"Can I have a lick?" I ask, pointing at her ice cream.
She bends her head to glance at the cone she's holding between her fingers and smiles back at me, as she hands me what I asked for. I smile back at her and take a lick.
"It's good," I tell her, handing it back to her.
Dani smiles at me and passes her fingers over my upper lip. She shows me that some chocolate had stained that area and then licked it off of her finger. We both smiled, giggling a bit. We pursued our walk in the park. Eventually, we finish eating so we're just walking side by side, appreciating each other's company. No words are spoken. I want to break the silence, but as usual, I don't know how.
"Do you come here a lot?" I ask her, just throwing something out there.
"Actually, I do. I write and draw here. And other stuff."
"You're such an artist," I tell her at first, my fingers playing with my hair. "What do you mean by other stuff?"
"Ah, you don't wanna know."
"I kinda do."
She glances at me with a little hesitation, "I smoke and drink here."
"Everybody smokes and drinks. Especially artistic souls in college."
She laughs, "Have you ever smoke or drank?"
I shake my head, a bit embarrassed. I hate that, once I say that I've never done those things, it makes me look like such a stuck up good girl. I hate being the good smart girl. The one that everyone assumes never does anything bad ass. I wish I had a little more of a wild side, you know, something that gives me a little edge and makes me - fun. I have good grades, I don't get into much trouble, I don't have many friends - I just feel so boring. In a way, it reassures me. At least, I won't be the center of a rumor containing the word 'slut' in it. On the other hand, I never have any good stories to tell. I'm always the one listening to others' great adventures in this big bad world.
"It's okay, you know. It doesn't make you lame or anything," Dani tells me, making me smile. Her words are enough to cheer me up. Heck, her name is enough to cheer me up. She continues, "There's too much pressure to be all these things. What society wants, what your family wants and what your peers want. But at the end of the day, it's all about what you want."
That makes me feel better, just hearing her telling me such a thing.
"Do you come to this park?" she asks me.
"Actually, no. I don't know why though. I'm just more of an indoors type of person."
"And what do you do indoors?"
"Read a lot and watch a lot of movies and TV shows."
"I personally would rather do that than go out and party. It's much more relaxing."
I shrug, "My friends still tease me about it."
I should have said 'friend'. I only have Arianna, when it comes to friends I can rely on no matter what. She has always had my back and I can be sure of it. She won't abandon me somewhere. I would only get drunk or high with her, because I know she'd drive me back home, making sure I wouldn't go off with a stranger.
"Your cultural references must be crazy," she chuckles.
"They are," I smile back.
Dani glances at her watch and huffs. I think that meant she had to go. Well, if she's huffing, that means she at least is having fun with me. I hope she doesn't have to go. I really don't want this moment to end.
"You have to go?" I ask her, feeling a knot in my stomach. I know the answer, but I hope that's not what she will tell me.
"Yeah," she mutters. "But, I'll walk back with you."
So, the question becomes, do I show her where I live, or let her drop me off elsewhere? I know you shouldn't trust strangers so easily, but I honestly wanted her to walk with me to my house. Oh, what the hell.
"That'd be great if you could drop me off," I smile, shyly.
"You need someone strong to protect you?" she asks, showing off a huge grin.
"I can defend myself, thank you very much."
"Oh really?" she looks at me in disbelief.
I lightly punch her arm. Damn, she's toned. I feel how hard her biceps are, even though I barely touched her. That's kind of hot. Who am I kidding, she's totally hot.
"A punch like that won't protect you, sweetie."
My cheeks burn up. I love when she teases me, but I hate my physiological response - blushing. She glances at me and smirks. I think it amuses her to see me go red when she flirts with me. Yes, I consider calling me 'sweetie' flirting. My rule is, if it makes my cheeks turn scarlet, it's flirting.
"You're such a stud," I said softly.
I immediately regret it. What if she isn't a stud? I can put my life at stake that she's a lesbian but the label, I've got no clue. Hopefully, she won't be offended.
"You're such a femme for throwing a punch like that," she teases back.
I break out a smile. I think she knows that I'm gay. How couldn't she? It's so evident. In a way, that helps a lot. I don't have to make the first moves often. Then, what the hell is Angie's problem? Why can't she see that I love her like no one else does?
"You're all right?" Dani asks me, a bit concerned.
It might be clear by my facial expression that I'm pissed. But as soon as I hear Dani's voice, my lips want to curve upwards so badly. I resist the temptation and answer, "Yeah, just thinking about stuff."
"Like what?"
"You."
She beams. Her smile is so hypnotizing, "And other than that?"
"That's pretty much it."
We both laugh, as we mimic the scene from earlier. Our eyes meet and it's the connection that hits me. There's a vibe I share with her, a sense of comfort and security, which I've never felt with anybody else before. But it was the sensation I longed for, ever since I began reading those cheesy love stories and watching its equivalent in movies. I feel - happy with her.
Unconsciously, I lead her towards my house. As we're only a couple of streets away, I ask her, "What are you doing later?"
"I already have assignments. Don't you?"
Shit. How do I tell her that I'm not at Duff, but in reality, I'm in high school? I am a senior; it's not that big of a deal. Well, that's assuming that she's a freshman. Besides, I'm not going to jeopardize our relationship.
"No, not really," I sort of lie. It's true that I don't have any homework right now.
"I see."
"You're a freshman, right?" I ask her, just to be sure. We stop in front of my front lawn.
"Yeah. Are you?"
"Maybe, then again, maybe not," I tease her.
She laughs and reduces the space separating us. I feel almost compelled to lean in and kiss her. But I don't want to seem easy. She'll take advantage of it. It makes you look like a slut. That's what I've heard other people say. I don't want her to get the wrong impression.
I thought for a second she was about to go for it, but instead she simply smiles at me, staying so close to me.
My mind is racing, about as fast as my heart is. I want to kiss her, but again, I hate making the first step. I ball my finger into a fist, and kiss her cheek quickly. It's somewhere in between I like you and I love you. It's probably a good middle point for now, and just enough to make her crave me.
I take a step back and smile at her, as the biggest grin is displayed on her face.
"See ya, Dani."
I turn around and walk up the stairs, feeling her eyes watching my every move. As I turn the key into the lock, she voices, "Bye Pristina."
I hear her Converse hit the sidewalk, at a regular pace. I assume she's walking away, but she left me with crimson cheeks. I glance at her figure moving up the street. The way she says my name is the sexiest thing ever. I want her to say my name again. I want her to call me sweetie again.
--
As usual, remember to vote if you enjoyed reading this chapter and comment any questions or remarks ;)