Paige sat up and groaned, holding one hand to her head, and the other to her stomach. She had forgotten how much she hated hangovers.
She slid her feet onto the floor and stood up, reaching for the nightstand to steady herself before carefully walking toward the door.
When she stepped into the kitchen, Beth was waiting, coffee mug in hand. "Sit and drink that, breakfast is almost ready."
Paige silently obeyed, retrieving the coffee and sitting quietly down at the table, sipping the hot liquid as she waited for Beth to finish up. She knew a lecture of some sort was coming, she had been so close to reaching a year sober...and she blew it all last night.
Beth remained silent until she had placed the scrambled eggs and sausage on the table, sat down and sipped her coffee. "So." Is all she said, raising her eyebrows at Paige expectantly.
"So..." Paige replied, avoiding Beth's gaze as she began to load her plate.
"So last night." Beth prompted. "Let's talk about it."
Paige took a quick bite of eggs and winced. "Let's not."
Beth crossed her arms. "We're talking about it. Now, you can either sit there and listen to me shout at you about how dumb of a move that was, or we can discuss this calmly."
Paige sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Okay fine. Where do you want to start?"
"The beginning. Why'd you freak out?"
Paige bit her lip, appetite forgotten. "He's a cop."
"Detective."
"Whatever. So you knew and you still let me get involved?"
Beth shrugged. "I didn't think it'd be a trigger for you, sorry."
"Well apparently it was. I know I overreacted...but it was like everything just blew up." She dropped her head in her hands as tears began to fill her eyes. "I went to the bar to get drunk so I wouldn't start cutting again."
Beth was at her side in an instant, holding her tightly in a warm embrace. "Oh darling, I'm so sorry."
Paige sobbed and clung to her friend. "I don't know what to do, Beth. I feel like all the progress I've made just disappeared in a nanosecond."
Beth stroked her hair soothingly. "It just feels that way, babe, you still made all that progress, you're just going through a little rough patch right now."
Paige laughed. "A rough patch? I practically told Liam to get lost and then almost went over the deep end again."
Beth pulled back, her hands still on Paige's shoulders. "Liam understands! Damn girl that boy is head over heals for you, I don't think there's anything you can say that'll make him run. Besides, now I get the feeling he's even more resolved in pursuing your happiness."
Paige frowned. "Seriously?"
Beth nodded. "Seriously. How much do you remember from last night?"
She shrugged. "Not much...I vaguely remember him coming into the bar and then I passed out."
"Okay, well don't hate me but..."
Paige narrowed her eyes. "But what?"
"After he dropped you off I told him about Kylie!" Beth blurted, biting her lip guiltily.
Paige paled. "You...h-how much did you tell him?"
"Everything...I felt like he deserved an explanation and I'm sorry, I know it wasn't my place but I didn't know if you would ever be comfortable enough to talk about it. I'm sorry." Beth rushed apologetically.
Paige took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. "No...I'm glad you told him."
Beth looked surprised. "I- ...Really?"
Paige nodded. "Yeah...you're right, he does deserve an explanation for why I can't see him anymore."
Beth stood up and shook her finger. "Oh no, no way in hell! That man is the best thing that's ever happened to you and I'll be damned if I let you just end things after one little mishap!"
"Beth! I can't see him anymore! Not unless you want me back in rehab."
Beth placed her hands on her hips and glared at Paige. "You can't use that against me, you're just scared and hiding back behind your walls. Not going to happen, you are going to see him again, and you're not going to undo all of the hard work we've done this past year."
Paige glared right back. "You can't tell me what to do! It's my life, my decision!"
Beth softened. "But Paige...you really care for him."
Paige's eyes filled with tears and she slowly shook her head. "I...I can't."
Beth shrugged. "But you do. You owe it to yourself to pursue this."
Paige sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. "I don't know if I can."
Beth nodded and sat back down. "You can, I know it. This is going to be so good for you, Paige! I've never seen you doing as well as you have when you're around him."
Paige took a deep breath. "Okay...I'll talk to him this afternoon."
Beth smiled brightly. "Good, I'm proud of you."
Paige laughed. "For getting drunk last night and completely flipping out over nothing?"
Beth rolled her eyes. "No, for taking a chance. Come on, let's eat and then we're going shopping!"
Paige grimaced. "You know I hate shopping."
Beth giggled. "Who said this trip to the mall is for you?"
* * *
"So...this chick is pretty screwed in the head, huh?"
Liam glared at Benny. "I'd appreciate if you wouldn't refer to her as if she's a total mental case."
Benny raised his hands defensively. "Sorry, just trying to get a feel for the situation. So what is it about her that's got you all off in lala land?"
Liam shook his head. "Honestly? I've got no idea. There's just something about her..."
"You want to make her smile and laugh at every possible moment, because her happiness sends yours soaring. Little things she does like tucking her hair behind her ear or scratching her nose make you grin and you don't know why. You think about her all the time, and wonder what a future with her could look like...How am I doing?" Lance asked with a grin.
Liam shrugged. "Pretty spot on actually."
Lance nodded knowingly. "Yep. Thought so."
Benny wiggled his eyebrows at Liam. "Is our little Liam in looooooove?"
He shoved Benny, knocking him off his chair. "Shut up."
Benny laughed as he stood up. "Just saying what we're all thinking."
Liam rolled his eyes. "Don't you two have work you should be doing?"
They both shrugged and turned back to their desks. Liam began to fill out a report on the case they had closed the other night, when his cellphone began to ring. He glanced at the caller ID and then scrambled to pick it up and answer.
"Hello? Paige?"
Benny and Lance both stopped, glanced at each other, and slowly spun around in their chairs to face Liam. Listening in on the conversation.
"Hi...oh, you're welcome- hmm? No, no, it's fine...yeah Beth filled me in....lunch? Yeah I'd love to, where do you want to meet? Mhm....okay got it, I'll see you then. Bye." He hung up and then glared at Benny and Lance who were staring at him, smug grins on their faces. "Get back to work you two."
Benny laughed and spun his chair around. "Someone's got a daaaaaate!"
Lance chuckled and nudged Benny's chair with his foot. "Hey, lay off him, we do have work we need to get done you know."
Benny nodded and lifted his hands. "Yeah, yeah, I got it."
Liam tried to focus on the task at hand, but his eyes constantly wandered to the clock, and his mind to thoughts of lunch. Paige had sounded hesitant on the phone, almost...scared. She had said she wanted to talk, which usually wasn't the best sign. Was she mad that Beth had told him about her past? Was she afraid he wouldn't be interested in her since now he knew more of her issues? Which was ridiculous, if she had gotten to know him at all these past months, she'd know he would never run from something like that.
It felts like days later when the clock finally indicated noon, and he hurriedly gathered his stuff. Benny and Lance watched him out of the corner of their eyes, grinning knowingly.
"Hey, cut it out you two."
Benny lifted his hands defensively. "We didn't say anything!"
Liam slung his briefcase strap over his shoulder. "Yeah well, still."
Lance smiled. "Have a good time."
He nodded. "Thanks, I'll see you guys later."
As he walked through the restaurant door his eyes searched the tables for her.
"Can I help you?" The stewardess asked.
He directed his attention to her and smiled. "Um, I'm meeting someone. Paige Summers?"
She nodded. "She mentioned you'd be coming, this way." She led him to the back of the restaurant where the tables were a little more secluded.
Paige was sitting at a table for two, her knee bouncing anxiously as she twisted her hands together. She glanced up when the stewardess approached, and stood up when she spotted Liam. "Oh, um...hi."
The stewardess made a discreet exit as Liam gave Paige a warm smile. "Hi, how are you feeling?"
Paige shrugged as she sat back down. "Okay...look, about last night..."
He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I understand."
She bit her lip and rubbed her hands together. "But it does matter...I don't-" She blinked back tears and took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do this anymore..."
Liam was silent for a moment, then asked gently. "Is it because I'm a detective?"
She shrugged.
"Paige...I'll quit."
She looked up, her eyes wide. "Wh-what?"
"I'll quit, find a new job."
She shook her head. "You...you can't just quit."
He shrugged. "I could."
"But you can't...Liam, that's your passion."
He smiled slightly. "Well, maybe...but lately I've been rather passionate about something else."
She blushed slightly. "Liam..."
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Paige, if me being a detective means I can't spend time with you anymore...then I don't want to be a detective anymore."
"It's not."
"Then what is holding you back?"
She let out a heavy sigh. "I just...you're so...I'm so messed up, and I don't want you to have to deal with all my issues."
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes so sweet and compassionate. "Do you think being around you is a nuisance? That spending time with you is somehow irritating in some way?"
She didn't reply.
He stretched his hand across the table. "Give me your hand."
She looked up, puzzled. "What?"
He wiggled his fingers. "Your hand, let me see it."
She hesitated.
"Do you trust me?"
Slowly, she lifted her hand and set it down in his.
He gently tugged at her glove, raising his eyebrows in question.
She bit her lip, but didn't move to stop him.
Gently, he pulled the glove off, and turned her hand over. There on her wrist were the scars, tally marks that served as reminders of every tear, every time she broke down and just couldn't take it anymore. Every time she thought of ending it all, but could never quite work up the courage, the closest she ever came was just inflicting more pain on herself.
Tears silently rolled down her cheeks, ashamed and terrified of the scars.
Liam gently rested his fingertips against her wrist, tracing the lines, feeling the ridges with a tender understanding. "Paige, I'm sorry."
"For what?" She asked, her voice quiet, quivering with emotion.
"For everything you've been through." He looked up and met her gaze. "If you'll let me...I'd like to help you remember that there is happiness to be found in the world, I'd like to make it my goal to make you never think of doing this again." He tapped her scars lightly.
She bit her lip. "I..."
He held her hand tightly. "Paige, believe me, as a detective I've seen some pretty messed up things, and you don't even come close to any of those. Please don't be afraid of finding something that makes you happy."
She took a deep breath and used her free hand to wipe the tears off her face. "Okay."
He brightened. "Okay? So...you'll keep dating me?"
She laughed lightly and nodded. "Yeah..." His laugh of joy made her heart soar.
He stood up and swept her up in his arms, holding her gently. "I promise I'll never hurt you, Paige."
She let out a sigh and relaxed in his arms, closing her eyes as she savored the feeling of his strong arms around her, surprised at how safe she felt wrapped in them.
He released her, and placed a light kiss against her scarred wrist. "You know you don't have to cover them up."
And for the first time, Paige suddenly felt comfortable having her scars exposed to the world. Somehow if Liam didn't judge her for them, no one else's thoughts mattered.
"So...should we eat something?"
She laughed and nodded. "Yes, I'm starving."
He grinned and sat down. "Good, cause I am too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey everyone! So shamefully late update...I was in Idaho for a writer's conference/workshop thing, and that kept me really busy. And before that I was doing Camp NaNoWriMo which took up all my writing time.
And other things that stole my attention...*cough*Attack on Titan*cough*
Warning: Don't introduce me to shows...I will become addicted and binge watch them until there are no more episodes to watch, and then I will go and spend hours looking at fan art, reading fan fiction, rewatching episodes etc.
Anyway! Here's the latest chapter, it may seem short, but it's over 2,000 words which is actually a lot sooooo....there you go
Comments and votes are really appreciated! It helps keep me motivated to update faster knowing that people are reading and enjoying the story!
Thanks so much, I'll see you next time!