During dinner, Cary has been almost too good to be true. He took my coat from off my shoulders when we had first arrived. The tips of his fingers from his right hand gently touched my left elbow as he accompanied me to our table. Once there, he pulled out the chair for me, then only sat down once I was comfortable. He has been nothing but charming and polite, exchanging a little about himself whilst wanting to discover a little about me. We have talked about our jobs and our families, mainly. But now that dessert is just about to arrive and the candlelight of our small round table in the classic French cuisine bistro that we are in is romantically glowing between us, and maybe after a little too much Sauvignon Blanc being drank by myself—I now seem to have the tipsy courage to find out whether Cary Dean really is too good to be true or not.
"I'm guessing that because you are taking me out to dinner, that there's no significant other in your life, Cary?" Now that I have asked what I have always said was waaaay too personal to ask, my heart is nervously thudding against my chest and my breathing feels harder to keep steady. Only one thing for it, yet another sip of my Sauvignon Blanc.
Cary is charismatically smiling back at me. He's quiet, like he's silently weighing up whether he should answer or not. Still looking relaxed opposite of me, he finally does answer. "You'd be guessing right, Rosa." The tone to his voice is confident, maybe even a little playful. "And because you accepted my offer to accompany me to dinner, am I guessing right that you also have no significant other in your life?"
My fingers caress the long stem of my wine glass, because my hands suddenly feel a little trembly. "You would also be guessing right." Okay, we have fully established that we are indeed both single. I know why I am, I am now more than a little curious to know why he is. But I have to hide my growing curiosity, I have to hide it well. Picking up my glass, I hold it gracefully between my fingers before taking another sip from it. "What is wrong with the world? I think that you and I are both exceedingly good catches." My joke is hopefully enough to hide that curiosity that is expanding so much inside of me.
Watching me take a little sip of my wine, Cary is chuckling as he leans more forward in his chair. "You're right, we are exceedingly good catches." Then his unusual shade of pale green eyes, lift slowly to my attentive brown ones. I'm looking so much into his, I can see the flame of the candle flickering within the black spheres of his pupils. "For me, I don't think I have ever wanted to be caught. I've not met anyone that I want to let into my life, and I'm usually so tied up with work, I don't even have the time to think about it." He pauses, just to briefly smile across at me before he quietly carries on. "My work has always come first. I work away a lot. Most women don't like that. I've come close to settling down in the past, but realised I wasn't ready. Or maybe I just wasn't ready with that person? I don't know, Rosa, I am just a modern man with old fashioned values, who can't be bothered to put time into 'going nowhere' relationships. It's all or nothing for me. If I don't feel that someone is going to completely fill my life, then I'm unable to let them into it."
Placing my wine glass back down onto our cosy little table for two, I take in all that Cary has just told me. It's a pretty deep thing to have talked about, and yet I completely get where he is coming from. He's a busy guy, why waste time on relationships that he knows aren't right for him? After just one date, I know whether a man is right for me or not. If that man doesn't bring out the romantic in me, he'll not get a second date. I'm a confident romantic. I know what I want. If I can't have it, then I'm happy to remain single until I do have it. So yes, I completely understand where Cary is coming from. "It's actually nice to be in the company of someone who won't ever settle for second best." I happily tell him, just as our desserts do arrive.
"Two Crème Brûlée's...please enjoy." The waiter politely nods at us, before leaving us to indeed, both enjoy our puddings.
As we begin to spoon mouthfuls of our delicious desserts into our mouths, all talk of how single we both are seems to have now disappeared. Instead, I decide to share an idea that I have with Cary. "I was thinking about something today."
"Okay...hit me with it." Cary smirks, while distractingly licking some Crème Brûlée from the Cupid's Bow of his rather shapely lips.
"Um...okay..I was thinking that maybe we should involve The Kismet Tree in the Thanksgiving celebration?"
"The Kismet Tree?" Cary is now slightly frowning; an amused kind of frowning.
Wanting to remove that amused frown from off his forehead, and maybe just a little tempted to reach out to remove more of the unseen sweet traces of his pudding from his mouth, I focus hard on what I am trying to tell him. "Yes, I was thinking we could decorate its trunk and lower branches with lots of pretty fairy lights, then attach some long ribbons of organza on them as well, and finally, every guest at the celebration writes a message or a memory of Sara down on a tag so we can pin them all to my lovely old boys trunk?" I'm blinking at him, wanting to see the same excitement that I have for my idea. "I mean, I'm happy to do it, of course." The frown has indeed gone. As too, has his smile. In their place, is just a thoughtful gaze. A gaze that is almost consuming me within the silence of it. "You think it's too much. It is too much, isn't it?" I'm waffling on, I tend to do that with nerves and too many glasses of Sauvignon Blanc.
Taking a sudden, and such a gentle hold of one of my hands, Cary's voice is low and quiet. "Sara loved that tree, so I know that she would love for you to do that for her." His fingers remain holding mine, just as his thoughtful gaze is doing the same with my eyes. "I, would love for you to do that for her."
His thoughtful gaze.
His gentle hold.
His emotional tone.
Too much wine.
And those unseen sweet traces of his Crème Brûlée....all become a little too much for my tipsy and overly romantic self.
Needing to pull myself back together, really needing to pull myself back together, I gently slide my fingers from beneath his on the table. "Great, I'll make a start on it tomorrow." Inhaling deeper breaths of composure, I try to appear relaxed and unaffected by his touch.
Seemingly very relaxed and unaffected, Cary is eating up the last of his pudding with a smile very much present on his face. "Now that I have everything sorted back in Portland, I can now take you to see Sara's shop tomorrow. Then if you want, we could both start decorating The Kismet Tree afterwards? I have loads of fairy lights down in my basement."
The wine is telling me that spending anymore time with Cary might be a really bad idea. I mean, I liked him anyway...it's just that I'm beginning to like like him now.
Maybe it's just the wine?
Maybe it's just the cosy table for two?
The romantic candle glow?
Yes, maybe it's all of those things?
Pushing my tipsy thoughts to the very back of my mind, I find myself answering Cary. "I'd really like that." Finishing the last of my wine, I then begin to wonder why I am getting so caught up with silly romantic notions that are swimming around in my thoughts about Cary. We have become friends. And friends do things together, don't they? And tonight has been just what I thought it would be...just dinner.
Yes, that's all tonight has been.
Just. Dinner.