𝟎𝟐𝟑. ❝ AT LEAST PRETEND. ❞
— SHE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO GET TO TALK TO HER PARENTS. After Raven set up a video chat, Clarke had been the first to talk to the council. After a couple of people, someone had let her know that it was her turn.
She sat in front of the monitor, waiting nervously. Nobody had told her anything and she was hoping and praying that when the screen was connected, she saw two faces instead of one.
She readjusted the headset resting in her hair and took a deep breath, closing her eyes to calm herself down. She counted to ten and opened her eyes, still only seeing a black screen. Maybe Raven hadn't set it up correctly.
Just as the thought crossed her mind, the screen abruptly turned on, static filling the headset. It glitched for a few seconds before cutting to Cleo's dad on the screen and immediately, her stomach dropped.
"Where's mom?" Her voice cracked, her eyes filling with tears.
Her dad shook his head, his blue eyes filled with grief. His dark hair was a mess, sticking up every way and his face had more wrinkles than she remembered. He looked exhausted, probably from monitoring the hundred and losing his wife.
"There was a culling," he began to explain, his voice straining. "She volunteered, she thought you were dead and she couldn't forgive herself for sending you down there."
She let out a sob, covering her face with her hands. She cried into them with her dad. She could hear his sniffling in her ear and when she found the strength to look at him, she could see that his cheeks were shiny with tears. Her heart was heavy from the news and Cleo felt like giving up.
The ground had won, it had taken everything from her.
"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice scratchy. "Are you still working?"
"I'm okay," he nodded. He'd always been okay, he was Cleo's rock. "What about you? Are you okay?"
The question made her eyes well up with tears all over again. All the tears she'd been holding back for the past week, all the memories of watching people die and having to bury her friends. No, she was not okay — but her dad had enough to deal with.
"Yeah, I'm fine." The lie was becoming so repetitive, but maybe if she said it enough, she'd believe it.
The Wendell's shared a look with each other, happy to see each other's faces and sad that their family wasn't complete. Cleo's heart was so heavy that she felt empty, like her body was just a hollow shell of what used to be.
"Uh, I should go — there are a ton of people who want to say hello," she said. "I love you, dad."
"I love you too, little grace," he replied with a loving smile and sad eyes.
She blew him a kiss before taking off the headset and wiping her cheeks, drying them as best she could before leaving the tent.
Her mom was dead. Her mother was gone. She'd never get to see her again, she'd never get to hug her or ask for advice or roll her eyes at her insane advice to being a good leader; and mostly, she never got to apologize or say goodbye.
She nodded to the next person in line and took in a shaky breath. Her mind was numb and every thought running through her head was a mix of regret and self-destruction.
Her mom, the strongest woman she'd ever known, had died. She had sacrificed herself in the culling to save the citizens of the ark and she thought she was going to see her daughter on the other side.
S . he let out the breath she was holding and looked around, taking in her surroundings. Her eyes caught Bellamy and Clarke by the ration bin, holding bags and packing like they were going for a trip. Just as she was about to avert her gaze, Clarke looked up at her and met her gaze.
Her eyes watered again and she turned around, blinking hard to stop the tears from flowing. After a couple of deep breaths, she turned around prepared to go back into the ship to help whoever needed help.
Instead, Clarke stood in front of her, Bellamy a few paces behind.
"Are you busy?" She asked quickly like she had some place to be. Cleo shook her head in response and Clarke handed her a bag. "Congratulations, you get a field trip with me today."
The statement was dry, but she could see in Clarke's crystal eyes that the other girl knew. She didn't know specifics or what'd happen, but she knew. She understood what she was going through and that was enough.
Cleo took the backpack from her old friend and swung it onto her back, buckling the straps around her waist.
"I thought you said you didn't want to be around anyone you liked," Bellamy mumbled, striding past them to open the gates.
"Who said I liked Cleo?" She asked, shooting Cleo a quick wink behind his back.
She smiled at the remark, keeping her head down as Clarke opened up a map, leading them out of camp. The trio headed off into the woods, staying silent and watching for grounders. Clarke led them through the trees expertly, reading her map like she'd been doing it all her life.
"We're headed to a depot that's supposed to have supplies," Clarke explained to her, folding up the map and tucking it under her arm. "Hopefully it'll have some food or something else to last us through the cold."
"Blankets would be great," she agreed, remembering how even in the dropship, she had been shivering all night.
"Medicine might be better," Bellamy spoke up, his voice gruff. He was mad at the world today, it showed in the way he walked and the way his eyes glared at everything they saw. "Or a better play to stay instead of outside or crowded in the dropship."
The girls shared a look, not knowing how to respond. He was right, but all Cleo felt was stupid for wishing for some blankets.
"So, did you talk to your mom?" She asked Clarke, changing the subject.
She studied the blonde's face, watching it contort with several different emotions. She probably regretted offering to take Cleo now.
"No, just the council. They're the ones who sent us here – they said they'll be joining us soon." She pulled out the map again, checking their location one more time. "What about you? Your parents okay?"
"Actually, my mom passed." Cleo looked down, pursing her lips and biting the inside of her cheek, gnawing on the sore spot that she'd made bleed a couple weeks ago. "But, uh – my dad's working with the council, I think. He's still working."
"Hey," Clarke stopped, giving her a look. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, my mom always said she wanted to go out sacrificially anyway – to make her grandmother proud or whatever," she joked dryly, forcing a smile on her lips.
She looked past Clarke to Bellamy, who kept his gaze straight ahead. She watched his jaw clench and his eyes drop to the ground for a millisecond before they snapped back to the horizon line again. She wondered what was going through his mind – if he was guilty or if he was mad, or if he was ready for all of it to be done.
"Are you okay?" She asked him timidly, seeing Clarke make a face out of the corner of her eyes.
"I'm fine." His answer was curt and he forged ahead. "Come on, this is supposed to be a day trip."
She gave a worried stare to his back before looking over to Clarke, who shrugged her shoulders.
They walked for what was probably two hours before Clarke announced that they were nearing their location. Coming across a small stream, the trio stopped for a quick break. While refilling their canteens, Bellamy opened up his bag stuffed to the brim with rations and offered them each some.
"You guys should eat, we need to make up for all the energy we're burning." He handed them each a small packet of nuts.
Cleo wasn't too fond of nuts, but the way her stomach was growling was enough to make her open it up and put one in her mouth. She chewed noisily as they all continued their trek through the forest. It was a quiet day, with little to no noise at all – no birds, no crickets, no sign of any grounders. That last one she was grateful for.
"So, why all the rations?" She asked softly to Bellamy. "You're not planning on running away, are you?"
"Why do you care?"
"When I said I was on your side, I meant it." She saw him cast her a face, his emotions a mix between confusion and annoyance. "In order to forgive, we have to move forward – we can at least pretend we're friends, right?"
"No."
Her eyes rolled as he pushed ahead of the girls like he had the map. Clarke sent her a halfway amused face before opening her own mouth to question him.
"You know, the first dropship is gonna come down soon. Pretty sure you can't avoid Jaha forever," she said as they reached a ridge overlooking a worn-down property.
"I can try," he responded and they all looked out to the grounds.
The property ahead held a gorgeous white mansion she'd only ever heard about, but it was crumpled and cracked in multiple places. The ground was overgrown with various plants and the place looked untouched. It was almost as if nobody had been there in a century.
"Where are you going to go? Find Murphy, start a village in a cave where the grounders can't find you?" Cleo questioned. She meant it seriously, but it came out more sarcastic than she thought it'd be. "Are we here?"
"It should be around here somewhere, there's gotta be a door," Clarke replied and changed the subject as quick as her friend did. "Maybe Jaha will be lenient."
"Hey, that's what I said – we should look around for the door."
"Look, guys, I shot him – he's not going to forgive and forget." Bellamy began walking away from them. "Split up, cover more ground – stay within shouting distance."
They watched him stalk off into the distance and Cleo looked back to the blonde, ignoring her judgemental face.
"You're trying to be friends with him?" She queried.
"I'm trying to coexist – maybe we'll be friends later, but for now it's the first step, forgiveness. It's what my mom would've wanted." She could feel her throat beginning to tighten, remembering that she'd never see her mom again. "Besides, he could die at any moment and I don't think I have it in me to see him die without at least trying to be nice."
Clarke shook her head but gave her an admirable smile. "She'd be proud of you."
She sent her a thankful smile and sniffed, blinking to rid of the tears forming in her eyes. "Thanks, Clarke – we should look before he throws a fit."
"Good idea."
They laughed before splitting ways. Cleo headed straight since Clarke went right and Bellamy went left. She didn't even know what she was looking for, was it a rusted door or something undamaged? Would it be a trapdoor or hidden in a hill?
Just as she was about to give up, Clarke shouted out loud, alerting her companions of her find.
"Over here!" Her voice called. "I think I found something!"
— HOES, this is
where the chapters
start getting longer so
i hope you are happy
with that!!