"What is it sweet cheeks? I'm very busy."
My blood felt like fire in my veins as the stupid nickname ricocheted inside my brain and I felt every single moment of anger I had suppressed for the last five years fuel my body and I felt like I was going to explode.
"How could you?"
I wanted to scream at him but my voice came out as nothing more than a detached reticent. Tommy's laugh cut through the blood rushing in my ears and I focused back in on the fact my skin felt like it was peeling off my bones as I glared at the office wall.
"How could I what May? I told you I'm busy." Tommy snapped.
"How could you fucking cheat on me?!" I snapped.
"We've been together five fucking years Tommy and you've had a girlfriend for the past year, how the FUCK could you do that to me?
"I have given you everything I've had for five years Tommy and now you're throwing it back in my face I can't believe you! I thought I was being paranoid, you convinced me I was being paranoid, that it was all in my head! But it wasn't Tommy because you're an arsehole and you've been cheating on me! The amount of fights you've started because you thought I was flirting with someone and I wasn't because I never have!"
I was practically hyperventilating by the time I was finished and my brain felt like it was hyperventilating in my skull too. The line was silent making me wonder if Tommy had hung up on me.
Until his laugh reassured me he hadn't.
I felt like screaming down the line at him. I had so many words in my head but I couldn't get any of them out and my anger only fuelled my frustration. Frustration at myself, at Tommy and at the situation.
"You can't blame me May you're hardly offering it on a plate. Anyone would mess around a bit." Tommy said and I felt my already hurting heart break a little bit more and I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.
"I wouldn't!" I screeched, "I haven't!"
"Listen to yourself you're hysterical. Get a grip May, you're lucky I love you."
"I don't love you!" I screamed down the line.
The words hung in the air my chest heaving as I listened to Tommy's slow breathing on the other end of the line. I had done it. I'd said it, I had finally told him what I'd been thinking for the last two months.
"I don't think you're in any position to be saying shit like that May. I'm all you've got and I'm all you'll ever have." Tommy hissed down the line but his words weren't registering.
"Fuck you Tommy. It's done, I'm done. We're done."
"That's hilarious May. Get a grip." Tommy laughed.
He wasn't taking me seriously, and I almost stamped my foot in annoyance but I refrained knowing it would only serve Tommy's point.
The anger in my veins outweighed the hurt in my chest as I almost stopped to think about the fact Tommy could be right. I wasn't in any position to leave the only person who had ever loved me, or could ever love me.
"Sunshine?"
I spun to face the door as Harry stood there staring at me.
"I knew you were fucking him. I'm planning a little party for him right now."
Tommy's snide voice drew me back to the conversation I was currently in the middle of and I sucked in a harsh breath.
"Fuck you Tommy." I hissed hanging up on him immediately.
My heart was thumping wildly as I stared at Harry. I could take Tommy making fun of me and being condescending, it wasn't anything I didn't deserve but I didn't know how to control myself when he talked about Harry. He didn't deserve this.
Harry didn't deserve to be mixed up in Tommy's stupid little games.
"Sunshine?" Harry asked again and I stared at him. Everything I had learnt about Tommy leaving the Diamond Snakes and Luke Jones bubbling to the surface as I ignored the fact I was now shivering and Harry was staring at me half naked.
"Tommy'sleavngthesnakesfortheredsyndicateandhehatesyouandwantstokillyouandtheresthisguycalledLukeJoneswhoalsohatesyouandI'mworriedthey'regoingtohurtoyouandIwantedtobehelpfulbutIwasn'tandIdon'tkno—-"
My words trailed off into muffled silence as Harry crossed the small space and held his hand over my mouth for the second time in the last week as I stared at up him wide eyed.
"Number one I got you a shirt."
Harry showed me the black t-shirt before removing his hand from my mouth and carefully pulled the top down over my head as I lifted my arms slowly for him. Too much movement made my stomach hurt.
"Number two I have no idea what you just said Sunshine but are you okay?" Harry asked as I stared at him with teeth gnawing at my bottom lip.
His t-shirt was too big on me and looked like a dress over my jeans but that wasn't my concern. The fact that all I could see and smell and hear was Harry wasn't my concern and although my stomach was stinging underneath the plastic wrap I was okay.
Except for my fear for Harry. Or of Harry maybe.
I had seen so much of what Tommy was capable of being in Harry not even ten minutes ago but here he was asking me if I was okay. I knew Harry had never been like Tommy but it made me realise he could be at any time.
"I think you need to go to the hospital." Harry spoke again at the lack of my answer and I shook my head immediately, my mouth and words failing me once again.
"I'm fine. I can't leave work anyway." I shook my head as I spoke, avoiding the wary look Harry was giving me.
"Sunshine, this is a pretty bad burn. You should see a doctor."
I hadn't even realised Harry had lifted my top, his top, and was now inspecting the wrapped warped skin on my torso and I shifted away awkwardly.
Embarrassment flooded me as I tried to get Harry's gaze away from my fat body.
"Harry it's wrapped it'll be fine, I'm fine." I tried to reassure him and luckily his gaze moved back up to my face. Although I was cold, which I usually always was, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.
"Okay," He didn't sound convinced, "What were you trying to say?" Harry asked, the skin between his eyebrows scrunched cutely.
"Tommy's leaving the Diamond Snakes for the Red Syndicate I assume you know who they are. They're from Liverpool I think that's why he kept going up there and saying it was for work and I met some of the people from there a few weeks ago and I was told not to say anything but of course I can't not say anything because they mentioned you,"
I sucked in a sharp breath as I tried to spill everything I had accumulated in my head over the past month or so.
"I only know their first names and I probably wouldn't be able to point them out to you if you asked I'm so sorry but I tried my best to remember everything and I think that's why you guys were having problems with some of your drugs because I know Tommy's involved with that and I think he was giving some away. And there was this guy, this guy called Luke Jones and he said—"
"Luke Jones?"
I flinched as Harry grabbed my shoulders and stared down at me, my words dying in my throat forcing me to nod and watch as Harry flung himself away from me and cursed loudly. His foot flying up to kick the chair into the opposite wall making me jump and move further away from him.
My heart thudded as I watched Harry run a hand through his hair over and over again. I knew Luke Jones was bad news and I certainly hated him with every single fibre within in me but I didn't understand Harry's reaction.
"Have you met him?" Harry rounded on me and I licked my lips dropping my eyes to the carpeted floor, suddenly very wary of Harry and how he'd react to my response.
I only nodded once more not trusting my words and I flinched back further into the wall as Harry cursed loudly and I was very aware of Harry's fists clenching tightly and releasing over and over again. He'd told me he wasn't like that anymore.
He'd told me he wouldn't hurt me. I had to remember that. I had to believe Harry.
The fear clenching my heart made that difficult to do so right now but I needed to finish telling him everything I knew. Which wasn't much but it was all I could do to try and alleviate the guilt inside of me.
"Only once, I've only met him once." I lied, "In a pub with Tommy and the rest of the men I met from the Red Syndicate. He, Luke, said he couldn't wait to give you what you deserved and I had asked Tommy that evening at the docks if he was involved because Tommy had said he couldn't wait for it either.
"Tommy said he was going to love laying into you and Luke Jones said he was going to kill you and I know I don't really know anything and I'm sorry but I need you to believe me Harry. I don't like him, Luke Jones, or either of them actually and I'm worried about you and I need you to believe me."
I was begging by my last sentence, I had barely any information, any information that was important or useful but I needed Harry to believe me. I know he had no proof I was telling the truth or any reason why he should believe me but I needed him too.
Another knock on the office door startled me and shattered the tense silence that had covered Harry and I and I glanced to see Louis standing the doorway sending me a brief smile before turning to look at Harry.
"It's done, she won't be a problem anymore." Harry nodded and Louis smiled at me once more before slipping out and shutting the door behind him.
She won't be a problem anymore.
The words echoed in my head and I tried not to let my heart thump out of my chest but I wasn't stupid, or at least I was smart enough to understand the implied meaning of Louis's words. Harry was good at making me forget he was in a gang.
Harry was good at making me forget he did illegal things and was capable of being just as bad as Tommy.
"Zayn." I suddenly blurted.
I watched as Harry finally looked back at me and I swallowed thickly.
"Zayn's leaving as well, him and Tommy." I explained watching as Harry screwed his eyes shut. I had no idea if he believed me. He hadn't said anything.
"Harry," I spoke quietly and slowly, my voice cracking for the first time since we'd started this conversation. "I'm scared." I admitted, watching as he frowned before crossing the small space between us.
I cursed as I watched Harry's face fall as I flinched away from his outstretched hand, forcing him to leave it hovering in mid air inside of its destination of wherever he'd wanted on my body.
"Of me?" Harry asked quietly and I immediately shook my head.
"For you." I could feel the tears starting to form again. "I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Oh Angel." Harry sighed, his hand reaching its target of my shoulder and he pulled me gently into him, carefully avoiding pressing against my stomach as he wrapped his arms around me and I clung to him ignoring the sting.
"I'm sorry this is happening and it's all my fault but I had to tell you and I'm so scared they're going to hurt you and I can't lose you, you're my best friend." My words were mumbled through my tears as I clung to Harry as if he was going to disappear.
"Nothing's going to happen to me Angel, m'gunna be fine." Harry murmured into my hair and I struggled to control my breathing. "None of this is your fault, m'kay?"
I didn't acknowledge Harry's words because he could tell me that a hundred times and I would never believe him. I just wanted him to be safe and if we'd never become friends then Tommy wouldn't hate him.
"If we'd never become friends then Tommy wouldn't hate you so much and this Luke Jones guy wouldn't want to hurt you and you could have been happy and safe." I'd stopped crying now but I felt like I could go again at any moment.
"For a start dickhead Scott has never liked me. M'think I hit him a couple of years back during an argument. Gave him a black eye n'everything." Harry lent away from me and gave me a lopsided smile making me almost laugh.
"And Luke Jones, oh Angel." Harry sighed and I felt the fear creep back into me. "That is most definitely not your fault or your problem."
Tell that to my torn vagina Harry.
"He used to be a member of the Snakes way back when." Harry untangled himself from me and sank to the floor of the office with his back against the wall. I followed his movements a few seconds later.
At least I hadn't logged back into the till, so technically I was having a really long lunch break.
"He and my sister used to date. So I'm talking way back when I say he was a member, back when Gem lived in London and worked here. Just after we first moved to London actually."
I could feel my heart in my throat as I listened to Harry talk. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say and although I didn't want him to continue; I needed him to confirm my biggest and worst fear.
"Luke Jones gave Gemma her scars. He tried to kill my sister."
I let a out shaky breath as Harry confirmed my fears and I felt bile rising in my throat and I pushed away from the wall to reach the small bin and emptied the contents of my almost empty stomach into it.
"I fucked him up pretty bad afterwards, Paul and a bunch of the guys helped me get rid of him. I tried to get Gemma to go to the police but she refused something about how I'd end up involved and she couldn't lose me or ruin my life, like I wasn't the reason she had met the person who'd disfigured her!"
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before reaching out to hold Harry's hand with the other, his fingers tangling through mine immediately as he stared at our conjoined hands. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to tell me.
I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to continue, that he didn't have to relive any of this for me. But my throat felt like it was on fire and instead I had to settle for squeezing his hand and hoping it was reassuring.
"Did he hurt you?" Harry asked, his eyes hard and back on me and I shook my head. I was still a liar.
"Sunshine." I could hear the warning in Harry's voice and I looked away again.
"No, I told you. I've only met him the once. It was all talk, barely even acknowledged me."
I could never tell Harry that he threatened to cut my tongue out or that I had sex with him.
Oh god, I had sex with the man who cut up Gemma's face. The realisation dawned on me and I felt like throwing up again but my stomach was empty and it wouldn't serve any purpose. I was really a bad best friend.
How could I have done that to Harry, to Gemma?
"I don't want anything to happen to you." I whispered causing Harry's eyes to flick up to my face before returning to our hands and he gave me a quick squeeze.
"Nothing's going to happen to me alright? Promise Sunshine, I said you've always got me and you do." Harry tried to reassure me but I could see it in his eyes that this was a problem.
"I broke up with him." I said quietly. "Tommy. I broke up with him." I clarified.
"Good." Harry nodded.
I bit my lip, I had expected to feel different. I had felt a lot of things today but right now I didn't feel anything towards the fact I was now single. Single for the first time in five years.
Harry didn't offer anything else towards my statement and I just chewed my lip as we sat in silence. I wanted to know what Harry was thinking about but I knew he wouldn't tell me, the best I would get would be some placid version of the truth making sure I didn't need to be concerned.
"I should get back to work." I finally said after according to the time on my phone, ten minutes had passed. I was going to take a big pay cut for today.
"Stay." Harry's voice was quiet, almost as quiet as my whisper was. "Just... just for a little while longer, please."
I simply nodded as I stayed leaning against the wall with one hand wrapped inside Harry's in silence, the sound of his breathing evening out to match my own as we sat there content, or as content as we could be in our situation.
I might have been losing money but if Harry asked me to walk to the ends of the Earth, I would.
I was pretty sure I would do anything for him.