one week later
Chapter Eighteen.
I WAS MORE aware of my cracking headache, vomit taste in my mouth and dehydrated feeling I figured I must have been drinking heavily last night. I noticed that I wasn't at my house, I looked down to see a girl peacefully sleeping on my chest. I didn't know what I'd gotten myself into. All the thoughts of my cousin probably not making it made me feel some type of way.
I couldn't believe that I did this, knowing that I would hurt people along the way. I carefully moved her arms from off of me before making it out the bed. I had a bussin' headache that I wish would go away, I grabbed a glass from out of the cabinet and put some tap water into it before bringing it up to my lips and drinking it.
"Good-morning," the girl walked out of the room rubbing her eyes. "I had a great time last night. Maybe we can do this again sometime."
"What did we do last night?" I asked. "I don't remember anything. I ain't never mean for this to happen, I have a girl."
She just stared at me, I didn't want to be a person that did this. "It didn't seem like you had a girlfriend when we were having sex. I was just keeping you company, you were so heartbroken and you're the one that invited me over from the club."
"I think it's time for you to leave," I stated. "I don't think this can happen again. I made a dumb mistake and I don't want you feeling like this could happen again. I wasn't thinking about anybody else's feeling but mines."
"So, you're just going to kick me out after what we did?" She shook her head in disbelief. "This is what I mean when I say all niggas are the same, they all only want one thing."
"I'm not that type of person to do this, but this thing between us wasn't supposed to happen," I answered. "I may have messed up the only chance that I have with someone and I can't deal with this. I'm going through a lot right now and when I ask you to leave then that means to pack up your shit and bounce. I tried being nice but you're making it harder on yourself."
"Man fuck you and this busted up ass hotel," she shrugged her shoulders, she went back into the back room and came back out with her shirt and pants on before grabbing her bag that was sitting on the couch. "I thought you were different, you seemed different last night when you were telling me about all of your problems. But, I guess I was wrong about you. You're just like everybody else, goodbye, Chris."
She walked out of the room leaving me standing there. I slowly made my way back into the bedroom of the hotel, the room was spinning. I searched for my phone finally finding it on the bed. I had messages popping up on my phone, but the message from Priya really caught my attention. I opened it and read it:
"I heard about your cousin, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Just know you're not alone in this, I'm here if you want to talk about anything. Give me a call!"
I couldn't believe what I had done, while she out here checking up on me I'm out here only worrying about myself. I feel so stupid. I just ignored her text because I didn't know what to say. I went into the bathroom to take a shower. I thought the best thing I could do was go and talk to my cousin about this. Even though he's not awake to hear me it still feels like he's listening.
»
I parked in the lot of the hospital and turned off the car engine before making my way through the sliding doors. I still had a headache but it wasn't as bad as earlier. I went up to the receptionist desk as the lady stared at me smacking on her gum. "How may I help you today, sir?"
"I'm here to see my cousin," I stared at her. "Andre Bullock." She nodded her head before looking through the computer.
"He's not allowed any visitors at this time."
"What do you mean?" I asked. "What's going on?"
"If you take a seat in the waiting room, I'll have someone come out and talk to you about everything that's going on."
"I drove all the way here for you to tell me that I can't see my cousin, what type of shit is that?" I shook my head before walking into the waiting area having many people look up at me as I took my seat across from this older lady.
"You look down?" The lady sitting next to me spoke up causing my attention to be drawn towards her. "Is everything okay?"
"I try so hard to act like I'm okay, but in reality, I'm not. I'm lost and I don't know what to do," I truthfully answered. "I lost my mom a couple years back and now my cousin is laying up in that hospital bed and I feel like I'm losing him."
The older lady just sat there and listened to me talk. "I messed up the only chance that I have with a girl that I truly care about over a few drinks. I'm just getting tired of messing up everything." I didn't know why I was telling this lady all of my business, but I needed somebody to talk too.
"Do you read the Bible son?" The lady asked. "Because you know, Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you." Declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I listened. "You may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually God will reveal why you went through everything you did. Whatever you're worrying about, God has a plan. He is bigger than your fear and He is stronger than your obstacle. Have faith that everything will get better."
She rubbed my back as a few tears escaped my eyes. I wasn't the type of person to get emotional and shit, but this talk really meant something. "Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices, it doesn't mean they are bad. It means they are human."
"All I'm trying to say is that if you can own up to your mistakes then that's all that matters. Honesty is one key to growing so if you can be honest with yourself as well with the person that you're dating then that's a huge step to becoming a better you."
"I never knew how much I needed this talk," I said, not really knowing what to say. I was spilling my guts to a stranger and I didn't even have any regrets. "I've spent all my life taking care of other people other than taking care of myself. After I lost my mother I was depressed for days, but I still took the time out of my day to make sure all my close friends were okay about whatever they were going through and they never once asked if I was fine... my cousin was the only person that had my back and I can't imagine losing him."
"I understand son, I wish my son had the chance to meet you," she smiled, causing me to smile. "You two would get along so well. You remind me so much of him. He used to always take care of other people and forget all about himself. He was diagnosed with leukemia when he was eight years old and it has gotten worse over the past few years."
"And I prayed every day that he'll get better but sometimes in life when it's their time to go then it's their time to go. God decided that it was his time to go and I still can't find the courage to leave this hospital it just feels like he's still here laying in that hospital bed but-" She was here talking with me about my problems and not once did she talk about her problems. I didn't know what to say.
"I will be praying for you son, I hope everything works out well for you," she smiled. "You're such a sweet young man and I wish the best for you." I leaned over giving her a hug, I wish I had met her sooner in life. She made me feel a lot better about myself. Before she could say something else a doctor came out into the waiting area holding onto his clipboard.
"Family of Andre Bullock?" He looked up from his board causing me to lift up my seat, but not before saying goodbye to the lady. I walked over towards the doctor but by his facial expression, I knew I was about to hear some bad news.
"I'm his cousin," I said, causing him to stare at me. "How is he looking Doc? Is everything okay?"
"It seems like his situation had gotten worse," the doctor explained. "I don't know how much longer we can keep him on a breathing machine. The decision is yours though, you can take how long you want to decide what you want to do."
"I'm not taking him off the machine, how do you know that he's not going to get better?" I grew frustrated, this damn doctor is not about to tell me that I lost my cousin. I'm not hearing it. "How can all of this happen in such a short amount of time?"
"Son, I understand what you're going through. But there isn't much more we can do for him. All we can do is make him feel comfortable. You can see him if you'd like."
I followed behind the doctor into the room with my cousin. He was just laying on that bed, Andre didn't even look like himself anymore. It was so hard seeing him like this. I sat beside him as the doctor walked out of the room leaving me there. "I miss you so much cuz, I know you probably can't hear me but I really need you to wake up. I need to talk to you, I made the biggest mistake and I don't know what to do. You're the only person that told me what I needed to hear."
A few tears escaped my eyes, my heart was broken all over again. "This wasn't supposed to happen to you man, you are the realest' person I know and I can't lose you, bro. We all miss you, bro."
I held onto his hand, "I love you cuz..."
»
Thanks for reading my new story, please tell me what you think of it so far. Honest feedback would help a lot. Please excuse any typos I will be editing this story very soon.
©MELANINQUEENNNNN