THIS IS AN UNEDITED AND SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE MISFORTUNES OF LOLITA. I AM PUBLISHING IT IN FALL 2021—PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON IG @/ls.akhter and GOODREADS (L AKHTER) TO STAY UPDATED. I am so excited to share TMoL with you again.
UPDATE: please correct me if i'm wrong about the football specifics and try to be nice about it! i'd appreciate anything constructive, thanks.
CHAPTER 16
"There comes a moment in our life where everything stops. Everything settles into place. And then that moment is taken away, sometimes by tornados and hurricanes and earthquakes. And sometimes by people." - Lolita's writing journal.
Frank jumped up and caught the ball in the midst of its downward trajectory, his breath leaving him in a whoosh as he landed back on the ground. He only took a moment to plant his feet on the ground before he ran, the ball tucked under his arm as his teammates surrounded him, looking for the opportunity to tackle.
He nodded towards Tariq in the distance, who readied himself to catch the ball on the other side of the players surrounding him. Tariq caught the signal and stood, ready to catch the ball, and Frank raised his arm, aiming for him, and then at the last second, throwing it back towards Liam, who caught it in his hands.
The players moved away from Frank and proceeded to run towards Liam, who seemed like a pretty easy target - but even Frank knew that he might just be the secret weapon of the team, with his speed.
Frank passed the tacklers and ran towards the ten yard line, and Liam dodged the tacklers, keeping his head down and then throwing the ball to Frank.
Almost. There.
Frank tucked the ball under his arm, keeping his head down and shoved Robin, running towards the end of the field.
Robin tackled Frank aggressively from the side, nearly throwing him to the left, away from the ten yard line. He almost fell over, but at the last second, steadied himself away from Robin, not wasting any time and running down the field to his destination.
Robin yelled, and so did Tariq, and Liam stopped dead in his tracks.
Frank ran towards past the ten yard line, and towards the opposite team's end zone, feeling the rush of adrenaline everywhere in his body - he couldn't even hear anything but his heartbeat, sweat trickling down the side of his helmet - and he threw the ball down on the field.
Touchdown.
Liam cheered, throwing his arms up, and the rest of Frank's team roared with joy as the ball hit the grass, just past the white line that signified the end zone.
Frank remembered exactly how good these moments used to feel - exactly how alive he'd felt every time the crowd cheered for him. He liked the rush of his heartbeat, he liked the way his arms felt sore and his legs felt as though they were about to give out - he liked being so on edge.
He didn't know when it had happened - or maybe he knew exactly - but this didn't excite him as much anymore. He no longer craved the adrenaline in his bloodstream. Instead, he craved the gentle touch of the only girl who ever made him feel as though his heart would stop.
Coach Tug blew his whistle, the harsh sound dragging Frank out of his reverie. "Novak wins this one!" he yelled.
Robin practically growled, taking his helmet off in one motion and shoving Frank.
Here we go again.
"What the fuck was that?" he said.
Frank took his helmet off, sweat dripping down his temple. "What do you mean?"
"You cheated," Robin pushed him again.
"I didn't cheat," Frank was starting to lose his patience. Every time they'd practiced, Robin kept saying the exact same bullshit - he kept claiming that Frank had somehow cheated, one way or another, and Coach kept making him play again, versing Robin. "I won."
"How did you fucking score from the ten yard line?" Robin yelled. Their teammates had begun to gather around them, watching yet another yelling-match unfold as Coach began to walk across the field towards them.
"I've been over this before," Frank said. "I have a good arm."
"Steroids, more like it," Robin leaned closer. "I want you tested, Novak. I don't believe this star-quarterback shit for a second."
"Get the fuck out of my face," Frank pushed him, and he stumbled back. "If you can't deal with losing, go talk to your mom. Don't waste my time."
Robin rose up and grabbed Frank by his jersey. "You fu-"
"What the hell is going on here?" Coach shouted at them.
Robin let go of Frank, his pale face flushed with anger. "Frank's cheating, coach."
Coach Tug rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Reynolds, I've had about enough of your claims."
"But -" he said.
"We had three rematches between you and Novak this week," he continued. "I'm not wasting any more of this team's time for your ego's sake."
"Coach -"
"One more word from you," Coach yelled. "And you're out of the team."
Robin's face darkened as he nodded at the Coach before walking out of the field, his fingers clenched into a tight fist.
Frank wiped the sweat off his brow, feeling the urge to crash in the nearest couch - they'd been playing for at least three and a half hours now.
"That's enough for today," Tug said. "We meet again tomorrow afterschool, same place. Go change your clothes and head home."
Liam caught up with Frank as he made his way down the field and towards the locker rooms.
"That was so good," he said, his grin reaching ear to ear.
"I don't know," Frank bit the inside of his bottom lip. "We need a lot more practice if we want to win anything."
"No," Liam said. "I mean the way you handed Robin's ass to him? That was gold."
He shook his head. "I'm tired of his shit."
"He's probably trying to show Coach that he'd be a better fit than you for the team captain title," Liam kicked a little stone onto the two way road that connected the football field to the school.
"Yeah," Frank said. "Too bad I'm kicking his ass."
Liam laughed. "Coach already made you captain. He won't change his mind any time soon. How does it feel, though?"
"Being team captain?" Frank wiped his forehead with the back of his hand as Liam nodded. "Feels like I'm right where I belong."
--
He'd remembered exactly how flustered Lolita had been after he'd laid out every feeling he had for her.
Frank had let go of her arm, and she'd almost leaned into him, her body moving forward as though he held some sort of gravity. Her eyes had been soft and wild and her cheeks had flushed and he remembered exactly how her lips had parted, and he remembered exactly how much he'd wanted to brush his own along them.
He'd leaned in too.
Because Lolita would always have a pull strong enough to reel him in. Even if the world was in chaos and the ground was cracking under his feet, he'd run to her. He knew her - he knew her by the way she closed her eyes and tilted her head up towards the sky when it was sunny. He knew her by the way she bit her bottom lip and smiled when she was flustered. He knew her by the way she sighed into the air and made it warmer - he knew her by the way her feet moved. He knew her. And he'd know her, somewhere in the underside of his ribcage, even if this all went to shit.
It was as though he was reaching up for the clouds, when he'd leaned closer to her. Her eyes had wandered over his face, and settled on his lips, and she'd swallowed whatever words she was about to utter, and he was going to kiss her.
Because the days where he hadn't kissed her or held her or listened to her talk about biology or felt her fingers brush over his hair, something had felt so wrong, right inside his chest, right where his heartbeats had started to feel phantom.
He wanted her to fix that. He wanted her to fix him.
"Lolita," Akima had called just then, and she'd startled away from him, her hand going to her throat. "Let's head to class."
Lolita had stared at Frank, her hair a curtain of black, her eyes wide, her mouth parted, and Frank swore - he'd never seen anyone that goddamn beautiful.
"Lolita," Akima had pointedly said again, and she'd finally walked back, towards her friend - who didn't forget to send another pointed look towards Frank as they left.
Frank sighed now, putting his Calculus textbook inside his locker, and then resting his forehead on the cold metal of the door.
"You!"
He leaned back, furrowing his brows and turning around.
"Akima," he said. "Hi."
"We need to talk, mister," she said, tucking her scarf further down her forehead.
"Okay," Frank said. He didn't know what else to say - would he say that he missed her?
It would be too light a word to describe how he felt.
He missed her, and he had never missed someone this way before. He'd never felt so wrong without someone before - he'd never felt like this before.
Akima sighed, closing her eyes as if to stop herself from yelling at him. She reminded Frank of Cora for some reason then - which made his lips twitch up into a smile.
"Okay," she said. "Do you -"
"Yeah," he said. "I love her."
"Right," Akima nodded. "Then why the fuck did you sleep with Lana?"
"What?" Frank's jaw went slack.
"Dear god," she groaned, exasperated. "You forgot that you slept with Lana?"
"I never slept with Lana," he said.
"But Talia told Lolita that -" Akima stopped midsentence. "Well, fuck."
"Talia told her that I slept with Lana?" Frank felt his anger rise up inside him.
He remembered what Lolita had asked him when he was in the hospital - and how he'd said that he had been with Lana. Only, he didn't know that she was asking if he'd been with Lana - he didn't know that she thought that he'd slept with her.
He couldn't even wrap his head around that. She thought that he'd slept with Lana.
"What did you do with Lana, then?" Akima asked, after they both stared out at the nearly empty hallway with shock, or anger, or both. "That fucking bitch..."
Frank shut his eyes, trying to remember. That night's memories were fuzzy and distant, partly because he'd had a lot to drink, and partly because of the accident. "I think she sat on my lap. I was drinking a lot, that night."
Akima looked at him. "Did you want her to?"
"No," he said, firmly. "No."
She shook her head. "I'm so done with Talia's shit."
Frank ran his fingers through his hair, pushing them away from his forehead. "Why the fuck did she lie?"
"This shit was her twisted way of protecting her best friend," Akima said. "I'm going to strangle her myself - do you know what Lolita went through because of her stupid lie?"
"What?" he couldn't help but ask.
Akima pressed her finger to her forehead. "She... I don't know. She closed off. She shut down. I've never seen her this way. It's like all the life drained out of her, you know?"
"Yeah," he said. "I know."
"It's like you made her fall in love with you, and then turned around and ran to Lana on the first chance you got," she said.
Frank closed his locker, and started to walk.
"Where are you going?" Akima called.
"To find Talia." Was Frank's response.
--
"Well," Talia stopped in her tracks when she saw him. "You look well for a guy who's a week out of the hospital."
She was wearing a skin-tight white T-shirt that accented her curves perfectly. Her hair was wavy and soft brown, and Frank understood why people found her sexy - according to Tariq - but he also understood why right now, he didn't find her anything but annoying.
He was starting to lose any remnants of patience he'd had in his body. First, Robin - now, Talia - everyone was pissing him off like it was their mission. "Why did you lie to Lolita?"
Talia had the audacity to look surprised. "Lied about what?"
Frank breathed in, trying to calm himself. "You told her that I slept with Lana."
"Didn't you?" she smiled.
"You and I both know I didn't," he responded.
"Whatever," the smile slowly left her face. "Just tell her you didn't."
"Why did you lie?"
"You know another thing you and I both know?" she said. "Guys like you could never like girls like her. So drop the act. Whatever you want from her, you're not going to get."
Frank blew out a breath. "Are you fucking serious?"
"I'm trying to help her," Talia said. "She's been walking around on cloud nine ever since she met you - and it's a long fall from up there."
"Holy shit," Frank said. "You actually believe all of the things you're saying."
"Because it's true," she responded. "I used to think that you actually did like her. And then I find Lana sitting on top of you at her party -"
"I love her," he said.
"What?"
"I'm in love with Lolita," he said. "And when I told her that, she didn't believe me, because you lied."
"Wait," she swallowed. "You -"
Frank stopped her. "If you care about her as much as you say you do, you'll tell her the truth."
"Oh, please," she said. "Don't try to -"
"You made this mess," he said. "Now fix it."
Talia was about to say more, when Frank's phone rang loudly.
"Hello..." it was Cora. "Frank?"
"Yeah?" he raised his hand towards the hall monitor, who was starting to walk to him, probably about to escort them to class.
"You need to come home," she said. "It's about dad."
--
Frank wasn't sure what to do.
He walked out of school feeling as though he was being gutted, his stomach twisting into knots of nervousness. The whole time he'd had to explain to the main office why he was leaving school in the middle of fourth period, he felt like he was going to explode.
"What happened?" he'd asked Cora.
"Just..." she'd said. "Just come home, okay?"
Something in her voice had been so wrong - she sounded like nothing at all. Her voice was cold, and calm, and revealed nothing, and that was what worried him the most.
Cora was never emotionless. She was the opposite of Frank - she was a canvas of splattered colours. She spoke in volumes and amplitudes and never attempted to hide any emotions she felt. She was the brave one.
And yet, when she'd called, it was as though her voice had been frozen.
He pushed the button that would take him to his floor, putting his hands in front of him.
What had happened to his father?
"Frank," Cora opened the door after the first knock.
"What's going on?" was the first thing he asked.
Martha sat, fiddling with her fingers on the couch. When she looked up at Frank, her eyes were pooling with tears - her hair was messily tied into a bun at the base of her neck, strays falling around her face like she'd ran.
"It's..." Cora bit her lip, closing her eyes. "Dad. He's missing."
"What?"
"He's missing," she opened her eyes, looking at him. "He's been missing for almost two weeks."
Frank glanced at his mother, and she looked down.
"Mama," he said. "What is she talking about?"
"Look at me," Cora grabbed his hand. "Look at me. He's been gone ever since you were in the hospital,"
"But," he argued, for some reason. It wasn't acceptable, what she was saying. "He called mom. He said he was around town. He does this all the time, he leaves..." Frank looked at his mother. "And then he comes back."
Cora pressed her palms onto her face, covering her eyes, and muttering something under her breath.
"Mama?" he asked again. She didn't respond.
"He hasn't picked up his phone since last week," Cora said, her voice breathy. "He hasn't called. No one's seen him around town - and this time is different, Frank."
"What aren't you telling me?" he asked. Something wasn't right. Tom had walked out on them enough times for him to know false alarms - but this, this way that Cora and Martha were acting - something wasn't right.
"When he left this time," Cora's voice finally broke. "He wasn't drunk. And he said that he'd never come back."
"He always says that!" Frank raised his voice.
"Frank!" Martha stood up, nearly yelling. "He said that he'd never come back. He said he was tired of making mistakes. He said it was all his fault. He said he wanted to die."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Frank asked, after a long moment of silence, with no sounds but his mother's sobs.
"I thought he was bluffing again," she didn't even try to wipe her tears. "I thought he'd come back, like he always does. The first couple of days, we talked on the phone. It was hard, but we talked. Then he stopped picking up his phone, he stopped calling. I didn't think anything of it, but now... I think he's in trouble, Frank." Her words were scattered, out of place - she was nearly rambling.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked again. "Cora? Did you know?"
Cora rested her elbows on her knees, leaning forward from the couch. "I knew."
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asked. He felt as though he was insane - repeating the same exact thing, again and again, and getting no answers.
"You'd just gotten out of the hospital after a fucking car crash, Frank," Cora said, after Martha didn't respond. "Did you want us to tell you? What if was a false alarm, again?"
"I didn't want to worry you for no reason," Martha said, closing her eyes, and then opening them. The living room was dark - the curtains were closed, even though it was the middle of the afternoon, and the kitchen smelled of something burned, and everything was wrong. "Thomas blamed himself for what you did. He didn't want you to turn out like him - he... he started to cry, and then he said that he would rather die than make you or Cora suffer any more -"
"Mama," Cora said. "Stop. Stop."
Their mother put her face in her hands, nearly shaking. "Oh, god. What if something happened to him?"
"Did you look for him?" Frank asked.
"I did," Cora said, some remnants of her personality returning. "I went to all the bars, checked out motels - he was nowhere. One of the bartenders said that he'd seen him at Woody's bar, but that's it."
The feeling was like no other - Frank felt as though his world was burning down. There was anger, and pain, and the worse thing was, there was guilt. This was his fault. This was all his fault, because his father might be an alcoholic, and he might be depressed, but Frank - Frank had chosen to drink that night, and he'd done damage to everyone around him because of that choice.
His mind felt cloudy, and he shook his head, as if to clear it.
He threw his bag on the floor, grabbed his jacket and walked out of his apartment, not even hearing when Cora called his name.
He felt lost.
He didn't know what to do with all of these things - he didn't know what to do with all of the things he was feeling. He didn't know what he'd do with the gnawing hole in his stomach. He felt like he was being pulled under by a riptide - he was drowning.
He found himself at her doorstep.
"Oh," she said as she opened the door. "Frank. You look like death."
He let out a breath.
"I need your help."
--
The playlist for this story is linked in the external link, if you're interested. Hopefully all of you've seen the book trailer too!
Thank you for reading this story! The plot is settling in, as you can tell. I think the next chapter will be a favourite of mine. Let me know your thoughts on this one!
Dedicated toSevval for being an awesome friend, and for all her support.