~Chapter Twenty-five: Нежность – Nezhnost~
For a moment, my mind struggles to comprehend what the kiss on my forehead could mean. As soon as I realize the implications, though, I immediately look at Hors for his reaction. However, rather than a blank face or something that would definitely make me cringe, Hors just watches me back with an amused little quirk of his eyebrow, which either means this is some kind of prearranged idea or they both feel the same way.
What that 'way' is, though, I don't know.
From what I have seen, forehead kisses are meant to show affection and care for an individual. I might have brushed it off as patronizing or a gesture of a king to his subject, but then there was that comment. Maybe one day, he had said.
Considering what he said that in response to, there is not much room for misunderstanding.
Perhaps Perun had been joking, but Hors did not sigh in exasperation like he normally would when his lover makes a bad joke. And why kiss my forehead after saying something like that? Unless he actually wants me to misunderstand, either he had very bad timing or it was intentional.
Right?
My gaze drifts from Hors to Perun, and I find that the king god is watching me as well. Rather than regard me with amusement, though, Perun just looks inordinately smug. An irritable little part of me wants to kick him off the bed – even though I am not quite sure why he looks smug – on principle, but not only am I still too physical weak to do something like that, I am not sure I want to either. While I would not go so far as to say that I feel safe while in a bed with Perun and Hors, not with my next death looming on the horizon, it is definitely not the worst place I could have spent my last full day.
"Do you feel up to breakfast now, Veles?" Hors asks, and I look at him only a couple of seconds after Perun does. When I nod and shrug – which are very awkward movements with my head tilted backwards – Hors removes his hand from my hair and brushes his hand against my cheek before sliding off the bed. "I'll go bring us something to eat, then."
I glance at Perun, who remains on the bed with me, practically using me as a body pillow with how close he is hovering. "When can I return to my room?" I ask after a moment.
Perun shakes his head. "Until I can find someone to make sure it is safe, you are staying downstairs," he says, much to my chagrin. I could understand waking up here, as it was kind of a panic-inducing event for everyone involved, but it is not like the watch is actually harmful, especially not after being melted by a sun god.
Not that they would take my word for it, not with my magic sight still inactive.
And though I hate to admit it, their paranoia about the watch is getting to me a bit, making me wonder if the thing is really as safe as I thought it was. I mean, I had the thing for years, so I surely would have noticed if it was a danger, but there is still a nagging doubt in my mind, which is likely only due to how they reacted in response to finding out what it did.
I'm not sure whether I should be happy or worried that I will never again be able to know ahead of time about my death.
- - - - - - -
Perun snores, apparently.
It is not a particularly loud snore, and I probably would have been able to completely tune it out if I was actually able to sleep, but, despite my exhaustion, that has not been possible. On any other day, I might have found spending the night between them to actually be enjoyable, as they are both very warm and do not have any noticeably unpleasant sleeping habits, like sleep kicking or excessive drooling. In fact, the only thing they do that makes me even mildly uncomfortable is their apparent habit of sleep hugging, which is not to be confused with the far milder version – cuddling.
Unfortunately, though, while I do not hate this, I would rather being doing just about anything except sleeping in their bed right now. If it was actually possible to sleep, I bet I would have slept peacefully, but since all I have been able to do since the lights were turned out is lie between them, I am feeling restless – very restless. I am hesitant to leave the bed, though, as I know it will wake them up. After all, any time I try to do more than turn over, one of them mutters for me to go back to sleep before doing just that themselves.
And it is not only the fact that I would rather be pacing in the living room that has me feeling uncomfortable. It is, without a doubt, at least partially to blame on the fact that I have not been allowed to be out of their sight for anything more than bathroom breaks since I woke up in their room. I mean, I am not sure what they are expecting to happen, as it is not like a black hole is going to appear the moment they look away and swallow me up. That is, fortunately, not how black holes work.
I kind of have to wonder, though, if they are not watching only for external threats but internal ones, too.
Of course, they would not need to be watching me if I was not dying today – later today, though, as it was only three in the morning when I was last able to see the clock, and it is still dark behind the curtains covering their window. And it is all I can think about.
I hope it's a peaceful death this time.
Hors and Perun had been trying to keep me distracted while they were awake – or that is what I assume they are doing with their countless game suggestions and conversations – but now that they are asleep, my mind has taken the chance to wander. One of the main thoughts being the question of whether or not I should actually trust Perun and Hors. I will admit that they seem sincere and have not really given me any reason to doubt them during my stay here, but, though I seem to trust Perun on some kind of personal level, I have died by his hand far too many times for me to just sweep our bad history under a rug. I may have very little against Hors with how short our frankly neutral history is, but Perun is...just...Perun.
What if he means it now but changes his mind years from now? I don't think I can handle that a second time.
I blink, and I am suddenly being gently shaken by Perun. "Veles, breakfast will be ready soon," he says, as I eye him blearily in the suddenly well-lit room, absentmindedly taking note of Hors disappearance.
When did that happen?
Despite how much trouble I had going to sleep last night, waking up is harder. My eyes slip closed again, and I can feel the heavy weight of sleep pulling me back under, but then there is a loud, amused snort that causes me to startle right before a warm hand slips under my upper back to force me to sit up. I groan in displeasure at being moved, letting my head flop back, uncaring for once that I am baring my throat to him.
If this is how I die, let it be swift so I can go back to sleep in Iriy.
Only, death does not come. Instead, lips are pressed against my skin, just above the hollow of my throat. It is barely a kiss, and the lips are gone in less than a second, but it is enough to jolt me into lifting my head so I can stare at Perun. What the fuck?
"Stop doing that," I demand, and in my head, it came out all dark and growly, but, in reality, it sounds like I am on the verge of losing my voice. I clear my throat, but it is not like I can do a second take; this is not a movie set, after all.
Perun hums noncommittally, which is not an outright refusal, but also not agreement either. Since he does not kiss some random exposed body part – namely, my mouth – again, though, I take it as a temporary surrender on his part. That does not mean I know why he did that, and even though there is something niggling in the back of my head that says I do, I refuse to acknowledge it.
There's no way it's correct, after all.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Perun asks after a beat of silence, and I realize just how close he still is when his breath tickles my forehead. I quickly sit up properly, unwilling to keep giving him the excuse to stay close by supporting me when I am awake enough to do that myself. He has to move his head away to avoid being head-butted by me, but he does not move more than needed and continues practically hovering over me.
"Fine," I reply, pushing his shoulders a little to make him give me room. When he does not budge and merely smiles innocently, I huff in annoyance and slide towards the other end of the bed to get up.
"Going to take a bath?" Perun asks, remaining lounged on the comforter. When I nod, though, he stands up and crouches in front of the low dresser on his side of the bed. "My clothes will probably fit you better than Hors'."
I frown at him, only reluctantly accepting the green tunic shirt and black jeans when he hands them over to me. "Can't I just wear my own clothing?"
"I sealed off your room after we left it yesterday to make sure no potentially dangerous magic might leak out, so unless you want to rewear that, you need to borrow something," Perun says. I really want to point out that the watch has been in this house for over a month with no ill effects, but I know as well as anyone that magic objects with even a hint of sentience can turn volatile if not properly destroyed. While I rather doubt the watch has any sentience, they are probably not going to take my word for it.
I'm not even sure I would take my word for it; I'm actually starting to question the wisdom of taking a death-telling pocket watch from a dying witch who did not want it to go to his family.
Sighing, I head for the bathroom on legs that are far steadier than they were yesterday. Of course, exhaustion is not making things easy, as my vision swims a little when I start moving too suddenly, but it is not bad enough that I cannot make it to the bathroom. It does keep me from noticing, though, that Perun followed me, at least until I am about the close the door and end up hitting him in the process.
"What are you doing?" I demand, watching him with narrowed eyes as he slides past me to walk further into the room.
"Hundreds of people die from drowning in a bathtub or falling in the bathroom every year," Perun informs me, and my eyes narrow further. Before I can point out that I am a god and will, thus, not be felled so easily by a slippery tile, he says, "I know you remember what happened yesterday."
I open my mouth to snap that it was a one-time thing, but the words die on my tongue. Besides, I am going to die today, so it is not like it would be all that surprising if it is caused by some stupid reason, like losing my balance on a slippery tile or, something completely random, like a bottle of something slipping off one of the shelves and hitting me on the head while I am underwater, somehow causing me to drown. Only I would die from something as pathetic as that.
Even though I do not verbally accept his presence, he takes my huff as I walk towards the bathtub as the next best thing and lifts himself up to sit on the sink. I studiously ignore him while setting my clothes down on the toilet seat cover and turning on the bath after plugging it. Only once it is halfway full do I reflexively start to take my shirt off. However, I thankfully remember at the last second that I am not alone and turn to glare at Perun, who is watching with a little too much interest.
This might only further prove that stupid idea I had earlier about his reason for kissing me, but I still refuse to believe it; I'm just reading the facts wrong.
"Turn around, you fucking pervert," I snap, glaring. He smiles brightly, completely unbothered, but at least he turns around to give me some privacy, as insignificant as it is. Something small and annoying lights up in my chest, though, when I realize that he actually intends to stay and was not just doing it to be a pest.
At least if I die in here, I won't be alone.
- - - - - - -
I do not die end up dying. However, at this point, I am not sure whether or not I regret still being alive. After all, though I did not die, I just took a bath with Perun in the same room, probably watching me from the mirror reflection.
Fucking pervert.
I end up finishing in record time, though, which means, by the time we make it into the kitchen, breakfast is not ready. In fact, it will not be ready for at least half an hour. I glare at Perun, who apparently woke me up earlier than necessary, but he just smiles guilelessly and shrugs.
At least I will not be dying of food poisoning, I realize, after glancing at the kitchen clock and mentally calculating the time in relation to what I remember the watch saying. Neither Perun nor Hors thought to ask what time my death would happen around, instead seeming to come to the conclusion that it only narrowed the time to the day rather than to the second. And if my calculations are correct, I could die anywhere between five and ten minutes. The watch was, of course, more exact that my guess, but I was not aware of what time it was when I saw the numbers in the first place, so it is hard to figure out the corresponding time for my death.
And that's only if I don't die early.
Making a split-second decision, giving myself no chance to question it in fear that I might just chicken out, I ask, "Can we go for a walk?"
Both gods freeze – Hors' mid-stir and Perun mid-step. My brow furrows when they exchange glances, and I take a hesitant step back from them. That can't be good.
"Why do you want to go outside the wards?" Hors asks, voice neutral as he casually looks over his shoulder at me.
My brow furrows further as I try to figure out why he wants to know, since I am pretty sure I just made it clear that I wanted to go for a walk, but then it hits me. "My magic isn't back yet," I snap. Though it is a big thing to admit, it hardly matters at this point. They already know more of my secrets than they should, so what's one more harmless one? "And even if it was, it would take at least a week for me to regain enough magic to escape the wards as they are now."
It is rather telling when they both relax at that admission. "Can't it wait until you aren't at risk of dying?" Hors asks, neutral but also a tiny bit fond.
When I shake my head, Perun exchanges another look with Hors before shrugging slight and walking towards the back door, beckoning me with his hand to follow. "A few minutes won't hurt," he says as he opens it, and I do not correct him.
Perun has to take my hand to allow me through the house wards, but he – reluctantly – releases me once we are off the porch. Thankfully, though, he waits until we are a safe distance from the ajar door before he asks, "Are we just walking because you are afraid we'll kill you if you aren't giving options?"
I scoff, but do not comment. Me? Afraid? He isn't fucking wrong.
Thankfully, he does not pursue an answer, but instead lets me stew in silence. When I eventually gather the courage to look at him a couple minutes later, he just looks thoughtful, not angry. And though I am pretty sure he knows I am staring at him, too, Perun just lets me look without trying to meet my gaze for once.
He's...different than I remember him being all those years ago.
I open my mouth to say something, anything really, but I lose my train of thought before it can even turn into words when my foot – which is bare since I did not care enough to put on shoes – catches on an exposed tree root. My fall towards a rather conveniently pointy rock almost seems to happen in slow motion, and while my life does not flash before my eyes, I do have the chance to wonder if this will be the way I die. If all it takes to kill me now is some random exposed root in what has to be one of my stupidest deaths to date, then maybe I deserve to die.
At least it wasn't death by bath, I guess.
[AN: Title meaning: Tenderness. Okay, so this chapter kind of got away from me in terms of the word count, so I'm breaking it up into two parts. The second part will be published sometime tomorrow. I'm also going to try to reply to as many comments as I can tomorrow since I've been putting it off lately. I hope everyone is doing well!]