➵
FEBRUARY
She took a step in France, the city of love, feeling finally free. The European sky above her, the feeling of being finally abroad, made her feel relieved, carefree.
Millie and David Brown, daughter and father, wanted to take a break from their hard work at the bookshop and the strange adventure they lived in the past months, spending Millie's nineteenth birthday in a far away city, in a five stars hotel... gently offered by Finn Wolfhard himself.
Dressed with a fluffy lemon colored overalls, a denim jacket and a white fiddler hat on, the brunette decided to do what she always wanted: explore. Armed with her Nikon and her patience, she decided that Paris would have been her first journey as a young adult.
There was so much to see; the Champs-Élysées, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tour, the Arc de Triomph. She was absolutely enthusiastic — even though, in her heart, the thought of him was always there. She wondered, while walking down the French streets, how it would have been hanging out with him in a city she never saw before.
She wondered how beautiful it would have been to take his hand and explore the world, standing side by side. Yes, what a marvelous dream.
But, instead, she wasn't there with her boyfriend, because he had to get married — probably in May, as Lilia had told her on the telephone some weeks before, and Millie perfectly knew that a few days away from Vancouver were exactly what she needed to heal and take her life back together, in order to be the usual girl, the one she loved and missed; the fighter, her own knight in the shining armor, her own savior.
She definitely missed that strong side of her. And most importantly, she didn't want to suffer anymore.
He needed to stay away from her, or his father would have destroyed him. She needed to protect him, taking some distance as much as possible. And even though she couldn't distance herself with her heart, she tried escaping from the state, using the gift he gave her for Christmas.
But it was hard; especially because just some days before her trip...
Millie was walking home from college, backpack on her back and headphones on; it was just her, completely immersed into music — sometimes she felt like the protagonist of a video clip of songs, as all the dreamers do.
David was still working at Brown's Corner and she just couldn't wait to get home and forget about the date of that annoying day: 14th of February.
In a way, she knew that Finn was not particularly in for forced festivities: you didn't need a date to remind someone how much you loved them, right? Nevertheless, Millie was a romantic and she never spent Valentine's Day with someone.
At high school people tried, giving her flowers or chocolate, but she wasn't really inclined. She accepted sweets or candies so that Noah could eat them afterwords.
She had finally reached her blue house. She removed all of her stuff, shoes, bag, and she ran upstairs: first room on the right. "Keep out - I am reading" written on the purple door, her name glittered on the wooden surface.
As she opened it and turned out the light, a scream resounded in her room. It belonged to her.
"Oh my dear Goodness—" she shut her eyes and checked her frenetic beating heart with her right hand splayed on her chest.
"What...?"
She looked down and she saw a path made of petals of roses which leaded to her bed; on the mattress there was a wicker basket. Inside of it, she could spot a branch of red roses (of course); a Twining wooden box filled with teas of all flavors (because it was her favorite tea brand); a platinum Montblanc stylographic pen (because she loved writing) with the value of, more or less, 450 dollars.
"Can he stop being so perfect?" Millie sighed, biting her lips excitedly.
She shook her head, a wide smile was appearing on her soft rosy lips and her heart was just screaming how much she loved him. How can he be so... Finn?
A little paper was stuck on the roses; she read the words out loud. The calligraphy was still horrible.
"I hate conventional festivities. But I do know you are a princess and, I can bet my ass, you looked forward to this. So, enjoy these things, brat. I chose them personally for you. Wish you were here with me.
Happy Valentine's Day, baby doll.
Finn
P.S. Look carefully what there is inside the basket. I'd love to see your expression..."
She smiled shyly, feeling her heart fluttering and a little bit happier than before. He always knew how to make her feel beautiful and overwhelming sensations.
If she had to be weirded out about the fact someone literally irrupted in her bedroom to make all of this, she just thought that Finn's world was just like that.
She carefully emptied the basket before something caught her eyes.
Oh no. It was a pink and black striped package. She recognized it.
Victoria's Secret.
"Stupid moron." Her bronze eyes was speaking for her, and they were embarrassed as hell.
She carefully untied the black satin bow from the box and with a hint of hesitation she looked at what there was inside. A light shy giggle resounded in those blue walls.
It was... ironical to say the last. Because gifting her with a white laced bridal garter with a pink bow on it was hilarious. She wasn't the bride, for sure. But she would love to be it.
"I will never ever wear this. Nu-uh. Stupid idiot." she replied firmly, crossing her arms and throwing it on the mattress.
She looked at it again.
"Don't even think about it, Millie."
It was so pretty, though. Colorful and delicate. She really didn't know how could she wear it without feeling ashamed of herself.
But she was happy anyway. Because he made her always laugh with his stupidity.
Yes, Finn Wolfhard was like that.
And he never failed to make her feel special.
She sighed bitterly.
"Man, this jet-lag is destroying me." David said as he yawned, while taking a picture of the Eiffel Tour and keeping blinking.
"I know dad, but we need to see everything we can!" she exploded enthusiastically, while posing for the picture, smiling.
"Perfect." David whispered sweetly after taking the picture, feeling relieved as ever before. The debt was gone. Millie paid the price of her freedom letting go the man she loved.
The man she loved.
He couldn't believe it. After all those months, he couldn't seriously believe how could an angel like his daughter fall in love with him. He still remembered the way he treated him, the nasty and horrible words he said in that office almost an year before.
Nevertheless, Millie was in love with that beast; and the more he looked at her, the more he could simply notice that something inside of her was broken, and there was no remedy to memory. She simply was trying to move on, smiling and laughing, feeling free as a bird which was finally out of its golden cage.
But her freedom, her most important value, wasn't that important enough since it meant losing him. He remembered the determination when she asked him to leave some days with her: her broken voice made him wonder what was happening inside of her broken heart.
"I want to leave." Millie said, serious as never before.
"Leaving, kid?"
"Yeah. Leave. I have a paid vacation for four days in Paris and I seriously need to go, dad. Want to come with me? For my birthday."
David didn't have to ask where did she get that paid vacation; it was self explicative.
"Millie, I know you're upset, but running away right now is not the best solution..."
"Dad." she cut him off, broken. "I beg you. Please."
And of course, he couldn't say no to her.
The two started to walk down the Champs-Élysées, looking around enthusiast at the buildings, the shops, and the crowd around them.
"In all of these months, you never told me how you two fell in love." David asked her, knowing exactly she wanted to talk about him.
"Are you sure you want to hear it?" Millie asked him shyly, as her cheeks become reddish all of a sudden.
"Just omit the details a father doesn't want to hear, okay?" David snorted, while taking pictures around him.
Millie shrugged, smiling; she needed to talk about him a little bit.
"I understood I loved him when we went out for our date. Well, it wasn't a proper date, but it was like it was. We danced together in a square. Nice, uh?" she said, while posing for other pictures.
"You... danced? Seriously?" her father laughed, mocking her sweetly. Millie was a disaster in dancing, just like him.
"Funny." she ironically whispered, "but yeah, we danced and that night I didn't sleep. There was sensation that never went away, you know? Dad, I seriously thought he was just an horrible man, but he was not. There was so much more inside of him..." she smiled melancholically.
I miss you so much, she thought.
"I'm sorry if I asked you this, but I know you. You need to let it all out."
They both started to walk side by side, synchronizing their steps.
"Yeah, I needed it. Don't worry. It's over, anyway. I wonder what he is doing now with Grace, though. Probably they are fighting and having their business dinner, or something like that." she said emotionless.
She imagined what would have they done, instead; she imagined a possible honey moon, of Finn and Millie, and no one else's. Maybe right there, in Paris. She knew she would have hold his hand, and he would have pissed her off, mocking her because she couldn't speak French, while, Mr. I did a prestigious school Wolfhard, knew perfectly English, French, Italian and German.
She knew it because one day he told it while they were reading in front of their favorite spot, next to the fireplace.
"I would like to read Les Miserables in the original version. French is such a romantic language and Paris must be beautiful!" Millie let out with a dreamy look, while laying on the floor and leafing her book, while her boss was sat on his armchair.
"Yeah, and you want to pronunciate it like that?" he snorted, correcting her pronunciation, showing off his perfect French.
"Wait— you know French?"
"Of course, maid."
"Tell me something in French!"
"Oh shit, should I? I don't know, I think you would fall in love with me." he said smoothly, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, right." Millie sighed, he was really the usual egocentric ass. And a miracle did have to happen in order to let her fall in love with such a moody and horrible person.
"Wanna bet?" Finn smirked, looking down at her.
He slipped on the floor, before crossing his legs and cupping Millie's cheeks delicately, staring deeply in her marvelous hazel eyes. Millie felt her face getting red, almost exploding like fireworks.
" La vie est une fleur dont l'amour est le miel,"he spoke softly, touching the tip of her nose with his, making Millie breathe deeply, "C'est la colombe unie à l'aigle dans le ciel", he continued, caressing her cheek, smiling shyly, "C'est la grâce tremblante à la force appuyée", he said, getting closer to her lips, "c'est ta main dans ma main doucement oubliée."
He concluded, brushing a finger on her lip and smiling satisfied, retiring his head and crossing his arms satisfied.
"Well?" Finn asked, fixing his messy curls.
Millie was petrified. Was it really him? What was that amazing sensation rising inside of her, while he was staring at her? She never felt so... warm, in a way. She felt her body being on fire, that neither a fireman could have cooled her off. And she didn't even know how to hide it.
"Mh, well, c-cute." she lied, smiling shyly.
"Cute?" he snorted, "You were ready to take off my damn clothes, and you called it cute?" he laughed, shaking his head amused.
"I don't take off people's clothes... but, yes, it was amazing. I never knew you knew French. It's one of my favorite languages." she replied sweetly.
"I even know German and Italian, brat. I can teach the one you like the most, how about it?" he said, smiling.
Millie let out a sigh, shaking her head with a dreamy look. How could she forget about him? He was awesome. She loved him so much.
"Just don't think of him. He let you go, and you let him go. You have your life now, you don't and won't depend on a man. Right?" David proudly admitted.
And she knew he was perfectly right.
"Oh, I don't depend on him. I never did. It was the opposite." she giggled, stopping in front of Ladurée, a well-known and luxury bakery, looking at those tasty and inviting macaroons in the shop window.
She entered it, buying a box of multicolored sweets, feeling happy, almost she was a baby.
You're such a brat.
Millie grinned as she heard his voice inside of her head. Yeah, she was his brat and no one else's.
And David, oh, he was so happy to see her like that. She was trying so hard to feel happy, and that was amazing. She was still his strong warrior.
"He depended on you?" he said, stealing a sweet from the little mint colored box.
Millie nodded, while biting the strawberry flavored one.
"He would never admit it. But I got him wrapped around my finger." she giggled shyly, "I... just wish we could have had a chance."
"I'm sure you are going to find someone else. For now, though, just focus on yourself. You come before anyone else. You can't love if you don't love yourself." David said, giving her a light kiss on her forehead.
"You're right, dad."
Millie held his forearm, "Should we go to the Louvre now?"
He winked at her, proud of his daughter, "Let's go, kid. Culture is never enough!"
*
"I can't believe you took me to Paris for a whole week!"
Grace screamed enthusiastically, while resting her golden head on his shoulder and closing her sleepy blue eyes.
"Yeah. Late Valentine's gift. Work killed me this month... can you forgive me?" Finn asked, smiling down at her, while the black limousine was leading them to their hotel.
The driver, who was not Gaten (he was required at home), took the couple to the Hilton hotel. It was the 18th of February. The air was cold, freezing, and, despite that, the European city looked majestic as usual.
"Of course, I forgive you." Grace contracted her blood red lips into a tiny smile, feeling relieved to finally spend some time alone with him.
She thought her Finn was absolutely another person; she didn't know what happened in that month, in that transition from October to December, but a perfect future husband was born, and she couldn't be happier about it.
Sometimes, she even thought about that Millie, but she was glad to know he had fired her for unknown reasons back in December. The little whore, as she used to call the brunette, was finally disappeared. And Finn had been right all along; she shouldn't have worried at all.
Finn was hers, and no one else's.
After arriving at the hotel — he reserved the penthouse, Grace VanderWaal, the young heiress, was just excited to know what they would have done together.
Finn looked carefully at his future bride: she was wearing his fiddler cap, and she even had an haircut back in London, surprising him. She knew he liked short hair on girls, so, why not satisfy him?
The hairstyle was not conventional but he liked it: two strands of blonde hair were framing her delicate face while the other locks were just reduced into a short pixie hair cut, and a cute golden fringe was gently caressing her forehead.
In sum, pretty.
"So, what are our plans today?" Grace asked, looking around the luxury room, as the valets were bringing their Louis Vuitton and Gucci suitcases into the room.
"Well, we can hang around. And then tonight... we will have dinner together in a nice place, uh?" Finn smirked, passing his hands on her hip, making Grace shiver.
Suddenly, in the right moment the clock signed the fourth hour of the afternoon, Finn's phone rang. He made a surprised face, picking up the call.
"Wolfhard." he replied, faking an annoyed tone.
"Sir, it's the hour you asked me to call. And I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to say."
Caleb's voice resounded in his ear. Finn bit his tongue, looking around, ignoring Grace standing there.
"Is that really necessary? I'm with my girlfriend right now..." Finn rolled his eyes, frowning.
"I am doing what you asked, Sir." Caleb said, rather confused. He just knew his boss asked him to call him at such hour.
"Yeah, if it's just for one day... yeah. Sure. But I don't want to hear your bullshit anymore. You're ruining my vacation, and it haven't started yet." Finn walked around the room, faking his own conversation, thinking she was about to buy it so easily.
"Mr. Wolfhard. Are you sure... you're okay?"
"Shit. Okay. Okay! I will. Bye." he closed the conversation, faking a pissed tone, leaving a Caleb McLaughlin completely weirded out on the other side of the world.
Finn turned to Grace, faking a sad expression and taking her hands, "Baby, I hope you will forgive me... but some fuckers arranged a business meeting in Bordeaux, not very far from here. A millionaire contract, like, very important. Is it a problem for you if I go? I will come back in a couple of days. My father, you know..."
Grace made a sad face, hugging him tightly.
"Oh, that's a pity." she sighed, knowing that work was his number one priority, "but yeah, we stil have all of this week. I know you will know how to make me forgive you..." she whispered, biting her lips and touching his silky tie.
Finn felt weirdly uncomfortable. Since when he was hanging out with Grace more and more, he always felt like throwing up, and not in a good way. The more he slept with her, the more he understood his body was not interested, completely emotionless when she touched or talked to him.
She was aesthetically pleasing, true; but she... was simply not Millie. And he had something important to do that day; his baby needed him, and he couldn't stay there in Paris, hanging around with the VanderWaal girl.
There was no wasting time, that day.
"Yeah. Totally. I will think of it." he smirked, trying not to slap away her hands from him.
He didn't know how he gained that self control; perhaps, all the time he tried to resist kissing Millie helped him to go through that torture.
"Just have fun, okay? You know, Netflix and chill and bullshit like that. Just spend these days in doing what you like. Or buy something, you have my credit card. I will be here very soon." Finn said, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Okay, babe."
Grace nodded as she saw him disappearing behind the bathroom door.
She took a long breathe, sighing soon after. That was strange, and she knew deep inside of her, that he wasn't being completely sincere. But, logically speaking, Finn never mentioned Paris, or a possible someone being there. And he seemed pretty annoyed by that unexpected business meeting arranged by his father too.
She let herself fall on the canopy bed. She was just overthinking, and that was it. Finn loved her and she loved him.
But, oh, if only she knew that her fiancé was the most bastard and talented actor out there.
*
The sun was setting in Paris, and as the sky got filled of that majestic shadows of pink and orange, the lights of the buildings began to sparkle in that colorful and alive city. The night was slowly about come in. She had never walked so much; her feet basically burnt, but she couldn't complain. That place was amazing, rich of story and wonders.
That need of a breathe of fresh air was finally making her feel better and Millie felt finally free as the a strange spring breeze was caressing her hair, making her feel an only thing with the nature surrounding her.
"Kid, I have just seen a bookshop around the corner. I'll take a look. Sit on the bench in the meantime, I know you're exhausted." David said, passing her a bottle of water which Millie gladly accepted.
She was just thirsty, with her throat dry as Sahara desert, aching bones and tired because of that awful jet leg.
"No, I will come with you!" she tried to say, but a yawn stopped her protests, making her eyes speaking for her.
"Millie," her father kindly pushed her down on the bench, squeezing her cheek with two fingers, "You are tired. I can see it with just a look. Wait me here. I will be right there." he pointed at the store not very far from the XI district of Paris.
And he wasn't wrong. Her feet was begging her for a break, and her legs too; she wasn't athletically inclined, and she was short, so a step of her father corresponded to three of hers.
"I hate being so short." she pouted, while dangling her legs on the bench like a child who had just received a punishment.
With still her camera wrapped around her neck, she began to take look at all the pictures she had taken for all of the afternoon; yes, that day had been special. And she was about to turn nineteen the following day, which was even more special!
On February 19th, she would have dinner with her dad, and he would have given her a gift, basically some antique poetry books he always gifted her since she was ten. It was not a case that David insisted in being in that bookshop alone: he wanted to buy her something amazing.
But then, she closed her eyes and thoughts flew away, thinking once again of him. It was impossibile not thinking of Finn in there: in a way, she felt him close, like he was near, walking down the street, with his usual dark coat, messy curly hair and a magnetic look who would have attracted even the devil himself.
But who was she kidding? Of course he wasn't there. He was in Vancouver, with his girlfriend, and there was nothing she could do about it, unfortunately.
And as her legs dangled frenetically and her look was losing in the Parisian void, her ears were lulled by a sweet far away melody, a song she knew, because she had listened to it too many times since December...
Going to Seattle on the Greyhound
I missed school for this
Bought two tickets last September
Before your harmful bliss
Millie's eyes widened while her breathe was about to miss completely. Her sweet gaze looked around, trying to understand where those distant words were coming from, whose that voice — so familiar, so damn similar to his — belonged to.
Jumping off the green and broken bench, her feet began to walk quickly, as a magnet was dragging her close to the final destination, the one she desperately wanted to reach; her goal, her walking dream, her everything.
I still can't believe you're gone
Can't get you to explain it
Millie ran on the sidewalks, almost hitting the French pedestrians clumsily; the music was getting nearer and nearer, closer, defined, as a puzzle that finally was about to be completed. Greyhound, the song she had listened to obsessively, almost every day since she had gotten that dvd of Finn, was there, in Paris; and she wasn't crazy. It was really there.
I wish I could go home, forget this ever happened
I feel depressed, out of whack, and in my own world
Sometimes I can't feel a thing
I can barely feel a thing
Her feet stopped to run when, in the most improbable abandoned and small Parisian park, her heart finally started to beat again. She was standing on the other side of the street, where an ignare Finn Wolfhard was playing his acoustic guitar while being sat on a wall, not caring of the world around him, not caring about a damn thing.
And when Wolfhard played, she knew his world always gained sense; through the music, he could be himself; through a melody, he could communicate his feelings better than his messy words and stupid and selfish thoughts.
Dressed with a mechanic type of suit, he jumped off the wall, still brushing his finger tips on the chords, singing what was one of the most bittersweet song he had ever composed with his friends back then; and Greyhound was the perfect representation of her never ending sad and devastated mood.
Millie felt heart exploding when their lovely and adorable stares locked, brown on brown, flowing out that passion and love they felt for each other; yes, that was the first time they had seen each other in two long months: Finn's hands kept playing, and his feet got closer to her, as his face was filled with emotion and uncontrollable passion.
Hats off to you
For you to go
Wish you were here
At the show
He sang his heart out while his eyes filled with joy; he had found her, he ha planned everything just to see her. Millie was approaching him with the most broken and lovely look she had ever shown to him. God, he was so beautiful, in that greenish overalls; so cute, illegally pretty.
He was her light in the dark.
Finn just removed his guitar, resting it on the nearest bench, as he was ready to catch Millie in his hold: the ex housemaid had run fast, so fast, that she didn't care about her aching legs anymore. She just felt the need to throw herself in his arms.
And he caught her, locking her in a tight embrace, making her twirl around.
"Brat." he said, incredule, petrified. "I came ba—" she cut him off, kissing him desperately and grabbing the collect of his overalls.
"I missed you so much. Finn, I missed you!" Millie whispered as her lips smashed another deep kiss on his lips. That touch was the only thing she had ever wanted; feeling him close was the only thing she desired with all of her heart.
She missed him, and he was finally there, in her arms.
"My baby doll." Finn said, cupping her cheeks delicately, nudging his nose on hers as he always did.
"What a-are you doing here in Paris?" she asked, feeling just in Heaven for that contact, looking at his eyes becoming dark and almost gloomy; something was off and she couldn't understand what.
"Millie, I have something important to say..." Finn's voice started to turn into a sad and devastated sound.
"Finn? What's h-happening?" she asked, as her view was getting darker and darker; his eyes smiled for him, as his words were about to break her down.
"Millie, this is not real..." he repeated, looking at her tenderly, slowly fading away, like an angel which was claimed to return to paradise, "Wake up."
And when she heard those words, Millie abruptly opened her tired eyes, finding herself frozen, still laying on the bench with an almost upset David Brown looking down at her with a worried look.
"Millie! Wake up! God, you should pay more attention. People could rob you and stole your things!" he scolded her — not very harshly, his kid was just very tired she had fallen asleep while waiting for him; and the sad look painted on her face was telling him she was dreaming something horrible.
"D-dad." she said a broken feeble of voice, eyes filled with tears and all of her body shaking for that realistic dream she just had.
She stretched out her arms, waiting for him to hug her and to take her back immediately; she couldn't stand to cry in public, neither feeling that upset. She just needed to sleep, being lulled by darkness and nothing more; she didn't want to do those dreams anymore.
"I dreamt he was here, but he wasn't here. I imagined everything again... I feel so s-stupid. I just don't want to feel a thing anymore!" she screamed, but her mouth was so close to her father's chest, only he could hear it.
David just tightened his hold, trying to calm her down with gentle caresses on her nape and soft and reassuring whispers, "Shh, I'm here with you. I'm here. Millie? Nothing bad is happening. You were just dreaming."
Finally Millie let out the teal part of her with an imploring request, "Take me back, dad."
"I will take you to our hotel now. Let it all out, kid." he said tenderly, helping her to get up from the bench and locking her into a tight embrace.
"No, I wasn't referring to the hotel. Take me back to the mansion. Take me back to Finn, dad. Please." Millie basically begged him, "take me back to him! I want him! I want my boyfriend back!"
Her voice was imploring as salty tears were streaming down her already wet cheeks. Stopping her crying was impossible, and David seriously didn't know what to do to make her feel better. Her broken screams coming out her chapped and frozen lips were not what a father wanted to hear from his child.
"Honey, you can't come back. He is getting married... It's over. Millie," he said, looking down at her, cupping her face, "You need to move on. There's absolutely nothing you can do anymore."
"I know but I can't." she said again, clinging to his coat and squeezing it tightly, still with her face hidden in his reassuring hold; her father gave her comfort, and all the right words she needed to feel a little less upset.
"With patience, honey. You need your time. Trust me, okay? Just time." David said, holding her still and walking back to their room.
He knew how did it feel... the sensation of being abandoned by the only person you had ever wanted.
She nodded, as they were finally disappearing into the Parisian crowd, broken, her mind filled with just a bunch of memories of him which would have never come back.
—
Helluuu!
Gift before disappearing for a while! Like I need to study/enjoy the IRL world for at least a week or so, so heheh
Before you kick my ass, I just wanted to show how Millie feels. She is lost, and this is just an example of her wide awake dreams... but Finn is really in Paris! Heheh
Wonder when he will show up!
Next one, well, will be surely interesting. Stay tuned!
See ya next chap,
Grace ❤️