~~
"Zeynep... Daughter... Don't you think it is time for you to start thinking of having a child? Poor Hakan wants it... You have seen how he is with Deniz-"
"I don't want a child, mother." Zeynep interrupted Fehime before she kept up.
"Don't be so square about it, my baby. You don't know... With all those techniques today you may be able to-"
"I don't want to."
"Look, Zeynep..." Fehime began, her face changing. "It's time to let go of the past. This man wants a family-"
"Do I care about what Hakan wants? Did you ask me what I wanted? Huh, mom? I only married him to not upset you even further after Kemal's death... And then Nihan commiting suicide... I only stayed for Deniz. I could have been at the other side of the world and living my life right now!" With the last sentence, Zeynep hit her palm on the table, standing up.
"Would you leave your family behind?! Would you also leave us?!" Tears overtook Fehime, burying her face in her hands.
"Stop that, mother! It's been five years! Five! You prefer me being unhappy than leaving you behind?" An incredulous laugh left Zeynep's mouth.
"Hakan is your happiness! He always have been and you have always been blind! Having a child will take your mind off of things!" Her tears stopped immediately after she tried to prove her point.
"I had a child and he died! HE DIED! I want no substance and especially not Hakan's spawn."
A strong slap landed on her cheek. Fehime was heaving, not believing in her ears.
"But you wanted that Satan's spawn, right?! RIGHT?!"
"RIGHT! BECAUSE I LOVED HIM! I LOVED HIM WITH EVERY SINGLE CELL IN MY BODY! I don't love Hakan and I never will!" Zeynep was taking deep breaths between every word, she got so upset with the slap.
Another slap found her other cheek. "Come to your senses! HE is the reason your brother is dead, Nihan committing suicide, Deniz being an orphan! Your brother is in jail because of him! Your dad suffered a heart attack, Zeynep!"
"Kemal did this to himself! He kept going after Nihan! Nihan played with fire! You can't blame Emir for fighting back!" Zeynep instantly took Emir's side without thinking.
"Look at her! Look at her taking his side! Even now! I THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM! HE KILLED YOUR CHILD!"
"I DO! I hate him with my whole being! BUT I LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AND HATE MYSELF!"
After a few seconds and between their angry looks, they heard the sound of a key trying to open the door.
"Pull yourself together and greet your husband." Fehime shook Zeynep's arm forcefully. "Welcome, my son!" She successfully faked a smile at Hakan, pretending that everything was okay.
"I feel welcomed... My Zeynep." He walked to her, kidding her cheek and hugging her waist.
"Welcome." Zeynep blinked her eyes quickly in discomfort, feeling his lips on her cheek.
"How are you, my beautiful?" He rubbed her cheek with his thumb.
"I'm good, Hakan." Pulling his hand down, she walked to the kitchen with a numb face.
"So... How was work, son?" Fehime quickly changed the subject to avoid the tension.
~~
The black van stopped just outside Kozcuoğlu Holding.
"Sir... We are here."
Emir pulled down the window and took a good look. It's been five years since he was at his company. His company... It wasn't his anymore. After the scandal with his father and himself, the company was left to be run by the other shareholders and then following his "death", it was equally distributed to them.
He owned nothing of this building now.
"Did you inform the CEO about me coming?" He asked one of his men, a new one called Sadık.
"We did, sir. Nobody else knows about it, he promised discretion."
"Good. I don't want anyone to know I am back just yet." Emir nodded his head, looking outside the window.
He looked quite different now. Full beard was covering half of his face, nobody could tell who he was anymore. He was dressed quite simple, a more than basic look for someone like him.
Opening the door to go out of the car, he held his left leg to pull it out of the door.
"Do you need help?" Sadık ran outside to help him.
"No... I'm just not used to it yet." He sighed, carefully going out of the car. In a moment, he was about to fall but Sadık got him by catching his arm in time.
"Thank you... This is gonna be harder than I thought."
"We need to arrange a meeting with your orthopedic again-"
"I have pain... I don't know if I can keep pressuring myself."
"It's normal, you remember what the doctor said. If you try a little bit more, in a few months your body will adjust to it."
"I hope Sadık... I hope. I feel useless like this." Emir looked down pitifully, struggling to walk.
"You aren't useless Mr Emir, you are a survivor." The guy smiled, guiding him to the Holding's entrance.
"At least they kept my surname..." Emir commented as they passed the main door.
"Mr Emir, welcome! You can't believe how happy I am to see you back in base!" The CEO shook hands with him enthusiastically.
"Lower your voice. You didn't tell anyone, right?" Emir looked around before sitting down.
"No, I can assure you of that. You seem way better than the last time we had a video chat."
"I try. I feel myself like a clockwork machine."
"You should thank God you survived. Your physical rehabilitation is quite a miracle."
"I suppose... The doctors in Rio did everything in their power to "fix" me." Emir rubbed his hands nervously, touching some faded scars.
"Did you find the information I asked you to?" He spoke a few seconds later in a totally different tone. He seemed to went back to good old Emir.
"About the Soyderes? I did..." The guy searched some files, then opened a drawer to pull a big envelope out.
"Well..." He began. "The parents are living in the same house as always. The father is in a bad condition after he suffered a heart attack, he's in constant need for oxygen..."
"Uhuh..." Emir nodded his head, listening carefully.
"We followed the mother and we could find out where the youngest daughter lives."
Emir's eyes shot up, waiting for him to continue. "Zeynep is still in İstanbul?" He asked out loud the question in his mind.
"Yes... And what she did might surprise you a bit."
"Tell me." Turning his head to the side, Emir tried to guess what could it be. "Is she an actress? A model? Did she follow a different path? Is she a teacher?"
"She remarried actually. Three years ago."
Emir's brain froze on the word "married." He couldn't focus on anything else. "Who?" It was his next question, his eyes fixed on his former company's CEO.
"A police detective... Uh, let me check the name... Hakan Tandurak."
A loud chuckle left Emir's mouth which turned into a giggle. A nervous giggle that wouldn't stop.
~~
Later that night, Zeynep was reading a book in her bedroom. She was still shook over her mother's words that day and she couldn't concentrate much on reading.
Hakan entered after a while, making her pretend to keep reading her book with attention.
"How beautiful is your smell..." He told her, getting close and leaving short kisses down her shoulder.
Zeynep flinched, pulling her shoulder a bit away. "I am reading." They were her only words.
"I want you..." His hold trailed down her arm, making her shiver out of fright.
"Hakan... Don't."
"I missed you... It's been ages, Zeynep..." He proceeded to kiss her neck and jawline.
"I don't want, Hakan." She moved away, throwing the book to the side. "Tomorrow... You know what it is tomorrow, I can't..."
"It's been five years of your brother's death." Hakan pointed out like it was obvious.
"Even if they be twenty five, what do you care? He's my brother! You can't understand!" Pushing the blanket away, almost on his face, she stood up and left the room with quick steps not bothering to look behind.
"God help me... I am begging you..." She prayed, hitting both palms down the kitchen's marble.
The morning found her in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. She wanted to get rid of Hakan as soon as possible and head to the cemetery. She used to do it every year on this day... Bringing flowers to her brother's grave... His empty grave obviously, since his body was never found.
Emir's mother on the other hand, had also ordered to create a gravestone for her son too so she could mourn him the way she wanted, they way he deserved. No matter what he did, he didn't deserve an end like this. An end where not even a part of his body could be found.
The same happened with Fehime. She wanted a holy place where she could worship her son. Kemal was a hero, he died to protect his family. He should be remembered as such.
"Good morning." Hakan's voice interrupted Zeynep's thoughts.
"Good morning to you too." She faintly smiled, taking a sip of her tea.
"Do you want me to take you to the cemetery?" He asked her, sitting down at the table.
"No, I've already called a taxi..."
Without exchanging many more words, in the next fifteen minutes both Zeynep and Hakan were out of the door.
"I'll see you in the evening." Hakan greeted her, entering his car.
"See you." Zeynep waited a bit and then got into the taxi. "Take me to downtown's cemetery." She ordered the driver, sitting back comfortably.
~
"Sir, is there anything else I can do for you?" Sadık asked Emir who was sitting into his office.
"No." He shook his head. "However... Arrange me to see Asu sometime this week."
"Will you show up to her?"
"Yes, she has to know. Her time into the clinic is almost over anyway, I will keep her with me afterwards." Emir stated, taking a sip of whiskey.
"Of course, you know better." The guy smiled, ready to leave the room.
"Sadik, did you find out where Nihan's grave is?"
"She's resting beside Kemal, sir. I can take you if you want."
"Now." Emir stoop up quickly but lost his balance again. "You fucking-"
"Patience, sir. You will make it." Along with Sadik's help they walked towards the door.
~~
"My dear brother... Nihan..." Zeynep's eyes filled with tears. "What are you doing here, huh? It's so moist and uncomfortable..." Caressing the flowers that were covering the soil, she stared at the grave deep in thought for a while.
"I'm so alone, brother... So unhappy... Is all this a punishment for everything I've ever done to you two? Maybe it is..." She smiled faintly, looking away. "No matter how many years will pass, I will never stop this need of coming to see you on this day... You know, sometimes I'm thinking that Deniz is so lucky because she doesn't get to remember you... She doesn't get to remember how lucky she was and that she lost everything... Ah, brother... I have no one to talk to, no one to trust. Mother has started to get unbearable, maybe because of the heavy medication she gets... Look at this mess we got... You freed yourself, brother... Nihan followed you... Although the worst are for us who stayed behind... There's no way out." She sniffled, wiping her nose.
"I miss you... I miss both of you... But you're luckier in there, together to infinity..." She slowly stood up and left her flowers to each side of Nihan and Kemal's photographs.
She started to walk in the cemetery, not really knowing where she was going. She wasn't thinking, she wasn't listening, she wasn't watching...
Finding herself in front of Emir's grave, her whole body started shaking. Her hands which were trembling came to cover her mouth to conceal her cries.
A big photo of him in his old glory was what caused her reaction. He was smiling wide, that well known smile which you couldn't tell whether he meant it or planning your death behind it.
Zeynep felt her knees weakening and sat quietly by the side.
"I don't know why I am here... I don't know if you are happy to see me here..." She began, tears keep falling down her eyes. "I never dared to come here before... Do you know why? Because I know I disappointed you..." Placing a flock of her behind her ear, she tried to find a way to express her feelings and thoughts.
"You were right to not believe in me... Look what I've done." She chuckled pitifully. "I married someone else... One part of me may have done it to avenge you... Avenge that you destroyed my life... But the real question is, did you destroy it or did you fix it?" She bit her lower lip before she continued.
"You never trusted in my love... And maybe you were right... You may think that I never really loved you... But that's the biggest fraud you could ever come up with... You said that I killed you back then... As a loved one... But I am dying every single day ever since you left me... This hell I am living cannot be overcome because you aren't here... Poyraz isn't here..." A small howl left her lips as she began sobbing, burying her face in her hands.
"Zeynep?" A well known voice rang in her ears, making her froze in place.
~~
~~
SOOOOOOOOO, this is it!
It's my next idea for a new zeymir story!
I don't know when I am going to post next, however I wanted to give you a taste of what I have in my mind.
Did you like it? Did you hate it?
Let me know in the comments below.